16. Sixteen
Ludelle followed Balvan and Sveta up the mountain, her legs already starting to ache, which she didn’t think to be fair. She should be starting with full energy. Though maybe it was a sign that her Undertaking would be less physically demanding. Knowing the Weather Gods, she didn’t hold out hope.
Balvan and Sveta were side by side, exchanging a few quiet words as Ludelle looked at the back of their heads wondering what it would be like to smash them together and run away from all this with Zimyn. Ludelle almost gasped at her outrageous thoughts. Never in her life did she actually consider shirking her role before. The nerves must be getting to her.
She also had the realization that she never had seen Balvan and Sveta in the same room before, much less having a conversation. It was strange, if Ludelle was being honest. She didn’t like it, the two of them conspiring together as she walked to her Undertaking. Shouldn’t they be offering her words of advice?
“We’re almost there,” Balvan yelled over the roaring wind, the climate only getting worse as they reached higher altitudes. At least her fighting leathers were lined with fur.
Sveta gave her a nervous glance, the bottom of her robes soaked in dirt.
They reached the mountain caves, and Ludelle could hear the crowd inside. Her people would be waiting for her as she completed her Undertaking, excited for another year of prosperity and power. Ludelle gulped down her doubts of not delivering.
“I must go,” Balvan announced ceremoniously, as if Ludelle cared where he was. “I have a few matters to attend to before you start.”
They both nodded, watching him go and getting lost in the people.
Ludelle surveyed the crowd for a familiar face—hating that she did. Of course he wouldn’t show. Zimyn was likely packing up his things, passing on his duties to whoever would be taking over for him.
“Don’t get distracted now,” Sveta reprimanded. “He’s not here. And you look like a hungry child desperate for milk with the way you’re craning your neck.”
If Ludelle weren’t moments away from her Undertaking, those words would be enough to send Sveta to the dungeons. Once Ludelle came out of this, she needed to find a way to scold her lack of respect.
“Who says I am looking for him?” She would never be more grateful than she was now to see Zimyn’s father. “I wanted to speak with our former Captain and ask if he had any words of comfort since he spent a lot of time with my father to prepare for his Undertakings.”
Sveta didn’t seem impressed, but she scurried off, giving them both some privacy to chat.
The man’s face, one that looked so much like Zimyn’s with the same colored eyes and whose arms showed scars of where his scales once rested, seemed wary, as if he was hesitant to speak with her. Strange, since he had no issue reprimanding both his son and her when they acted out as children. Sometimes, he acted more like a parent to her than her own ever did.
“Say it,” she said, tapping her feet against the cold stone. Her surroundings left little for comfort, and she tried guessing what her Undertaking would involve.
His eyes drifted behind her, getting lost into his own head. “Your father always had a ritual before his Undertakings.”
“Yes I know. We all go to pray to the Gods for luck.” Since it was her first Undertaking, Ludelle also submitted Lord Cirrus’ name for her consort, so he would be on the other side of all this for her.
“Not that,” he shook his head. The crowd began to situate themselves into clusters. Her time was running out, and she didn’t care about hearing about her father. “He wrote letters, ones he would hand to me for safekeeping in case things didn’t go well. I never read them nor did anyone else, as he would have me burn them in the cold flames after he survived, but they were addressed to his wife, to Balvan, to you of course, to me even, and surprisingly, to Zimyn. I never knew why my son was included, since I know your father did everything in his power to keep you two apart.” Ludelle snorted. That was an understatement. One time, he locked them in separate rooms after they were caught stealing from the kitchen. Well, Zimyn was stealing some chocolate cake on her behalf, but he took the blame with her. “I would like to think he ultimately had a soft spot for Zimyn, that even he understood that he would ensure you were safe on the throne.”
“My father was too shortsighted to even consider Zimyn’s importance in my life.”
“Maybe so,” he agreed. “Maybe we all are a bit shortsighted; we see only one way to things when there are various options to consider.”
Ludelle stopped him before he could continue spouting unhelpful nonsense. “So why tell me all this?”
“Because your father, like you, worried about the crown and his court, but also cared for the people in his everyday life, too. And he stood right before his Undertaking, scared that he would lose it all.”
“Well, he did lose it all,” Ludelle said, crossing her arms. “He died in vain on that stupid trip to the Solar Continent, dragging my mother with him.” Ludelle had tried so hard to convince him to let one of them stay in case something went awry. Even if her mother was only consort, having both members of royalty on one ship at the same time would only lead to trouble. Her father saw that it was the only way to convince the Solar King of a potential trade alliance.
“They died together because they knew that was the only way to go.”
“My mother and father were not in love. They had their fair share of people they bedded.”
“Oh yes, I know.” He laughed, his strong chest rising and falling. “I have walked in on them many times.” Ludelle internally gagged thinking about her parents in such a way. “It doesn’t mean there was no love. After all, your father’s Undertaking tested that love. Like I said, he had choices, and he always picked the one where your mother came back on the other side with him.” Seeing her annoyed face, he sighed. “I’m not saying he was a good man, or a good father, but he wasn’t entirely a villain either. I think your grandmother had a large role in that. She cared for Zimyn deeply.”
Before Ludelle could ask any further questions, Zimyn’s father walked away, leaving her with a cryptic message that confused her entirely. She had no idea her grandmother had a soft spot for Zimyn. Now, she might never know the full details.
Ludelle had assumed that the goal of her father’s Undertaking had always been to save her mother from the creature, like she was some damsel. Ludelle supposed her father also had the Heart of the court that required protecting, too. Could her father have been faced with the opportunity to pick only his crown over his wife? If so, Ludelle was shocked that he never left her mother to die, to be eaten up by the haunting monster.
And if that was the case, what did that mean once Ludelle entered her own Undertaking? She needed a consort, so what choices would she be offered?