18. Eighteen
Ludelle blinked in disbelief at the sight before her. She hadn’t realized how far she had walked from the starting point. The distance between her and the tunnel was stark and wide, a looming presence. At least she now knew that Cirrus waited for her on the other side of the maze. Less options meant she could go faster.
She put the compact over her neck and tucked it into her leathers, giving it extra protection in case she decided it would be fun to fall again. She didn’t want a stupid mistake to be the reason her court fell.
There were two points of entry back into the veins of the maze. She picked left, and she could have sworn she felt the Heart of the court thud against her skin. Hopefully, a good sign.
The ground beneath her hadn’t started melting yet, giving her more traction to walk faster, but sharp icicles poked out of the walls, some long enough that she had to adjust and dodge.
This time, Ludelle purposefully hit every path possible, even the dead ends, making her blood more important than ever. Cirrus could be waiting for her in any corner, and she didn’t want to miss him.
An icicle shot out of nowhere, stabbing Ludelle in the shoulder. She screamed in pain, pulling it out of her and holding the wound. She heaved as she looked at her ripped clothes and the small hole that was bleeding out, luckily not too deep. She didn’t let it deter her, she kept moving. The faster she could get out, the faster she could call the healer. She just made sure to be careful as she continued.
Now that she had the Heart, her confidence had risen. She could do this. She would find Cirrus, get the hell out, and tell Zimyn goodbye. Tell him her heart beat just for him and that no consort would ever compare. She would dream of his hands on her at night.
She would also tell him that she was happy for him because he deserved to see the world. Just like her, he had been locked into the Snow Court his whole life, only leaving on official court business, which were rare to begin with and never allowed time for actual exploration of the destination. Now, he would have that freedom he clearly desired, even if it was without her.
She didn’t stop. Not even a moment to think through her actions. She made a sharp turn and gasped at the sight around the corner. It was Cirrus!
But as he lay there, a red spot bloomed on his chest. Ludelle covered her mouth as a cry escaped her lips.
Was she too late? Had the Weather Gods cursed her to a worse fate?
“Ludelle,” a whimper called out. The sound, weak, but with it being so silent, she could easily hear it. “Lud—” Her body froze as she recognized who it belonged to. It couldn”t be.
She ran.
She slammed into a wall, her face hitting it so hard she had to blink away the white dots in her vision. She would bruise, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything except for the other bleeding body that lay there. Zimyn, whose hands and legs were tied and whose eyes were closed, opened his mouth to call out to her again. He was caged in by a myriad of icicles. She tore through them with her hands quickly to reach him, the sharp ends slicing through her skin.
She dropped to her knees at his side and placed her hand on his cheek. “Shh. I’m here.” She wiped his wet hair away from his face and revealed all the bruising. His scales had been ripped off, his arms coated in blood where they once were.
“What happened?” She whispered frantically, doing her best to tamp down the devastation and fear. Water began to pool beneath them, the ice melting at a quicker pace with the two of them on it, but she shakily undid the knots that restrained him.
Zimyn moved—or tried to—but he could barely hold his weight. His arms strained as he lifted his torso up so that he could lean against the wall behind him. She wanted to push him back down but was scared that if she pressed too hard he wouldn’t get up again.
His eyes were closed, exhausted from all the pain. Ludelle just noticed his right hand, how the bones sat awkwardly. She reached out, but he flinched away.
“Who did this to you?” Whoever did would feel her wrath. She would cut every inch of their body, watch them bleed, and freeze their dead body as a display.
“You,” he started, but took a deep breath before continuing. “Go away.”
“I’m not leaving you,” she said adamantly. If he thought that she would leave him in this state, then he didn’t know her at all. Her stiff knees crawled closer to him. “Tell me what happened.”
His head rolled towards her. “Win the Undertaking, Ludelle.”
“But—” She was so confused. Why was he even here? It was supposed to be Cirrus. No one prepared her for this.
“Balvan.”
“Did he do this?”
Zimyn jerked his head. “He’s here,” Zimyn managed to say, his eyes fluttering shut again. “Find him and get out.”
She cupped Zimyn’s face. “I don’t understand.”
Zimyn winced, as he cradled his broken hand in his lap.
Ludelle worked to piece it all together. Balvan was here somewhere, and he had hurt Zimyn, unforgivably. Yet Zimyn wanted her to find him, to survive the Undertaking with him on his side. Meaning Balvan would become her consort. That couldn’t be…
Advisors could never rule because there needed to be a separation. Balvan provided her his objective advice on matters, but he couldn’t do that if he were her consort. It would be an obvious conflict of interest.
And she couldn’t just abandon Zimyn now! The ground below him would soon splinter wide open and he would fall to his death
Was this the choice Zimyn’s father had spoken of?
If so, he was wrong.
A cornered choice wasn’t a choice at all.
Zimyn could barely feel anything. His body had become so cold and so tired, that only numbness consumed him. Even his broken hand just added weight to his suffering. Balvan had laughed as he took a large chunk of solid ice and bashed it against his dominant hand, knowing that no matter what, Zimyn could never return to his role as Captain if it wasn’t healed in time.
As Balvan dragged his body through the maze, Zimyn had accepted his fate. If he died, then Ludelle could finally let him go and rule in peace. If he lived, they both would come to the same conclusion that he no longer would be suited for the job and that leaving was the best option. It was a sense of peace that he’d only felt once before—in that quiet moment where they both lied together after their joining.
Now though, he was in a living nightmare. He had pleaded with the Gods that Ludelle wouldn’t stumble across him, that she would just find Balvan and reluctantly accept him as her consort. She would hate it with every fiber of her being, but she would do it. Which is why she needed to abandon him and continue with her Undertaking.
Bracing himself, Zimyn struggled to his knees. Ludelle wrapped her arm around his waist as she helped him, but she didn’t let go once he got to his feet. She held on tightly, and he savored it. The way she fit perfectly against him.
His blood marred her skin. Even then, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on. Her determination and bravery, even now, pierced him. Every drop of blood was for her: for her title and her honor.
“Go,” he stammered out.
She shook her head against his neck. “I can’t leave you.”
“You have to.”
Warm tears dropped onto his skin, and the sensation both broke him and anchored him to this moment as his breaths became more labored, as his body prepared to shut down. The one last thing he would do was convince her that she needed to let him go. It would be the greatest privilege of his life.
“It all depends on this. Don’t waste it on me.”
She peeked her eyes up at him. “Don’t say that. Every second I had with you was the most special. The rest of it never mattered.”
“But it did, Ludelle. It got you this far. Now you need to go.” He brushed a stray tear from under her eye. “Let my life mean something. Let it all have been for you.” He pushed something into her hands. She gasped as she saw the ring—his mother’s. She knew what it meant to him.
She shuddered as she slipped it onto her finger. It fit perfectly. “I will never forget you.” Then, she leaned forward, pressing her lips against his cold ones. He would spend his whole afterlife dreaming of the heat of her. The Gods would never hear the end of how special this woman was.
She let go of him, but it was like pulling teeth to get them apart. Their souls had always been entwined, but they needed to be severed forever now.
“I love you,” she said as the last of them separated.
“I love you,” he said as he closed his eyes, releasing her do what always had to be done.