Chapter Twelve
Asher
“ N o. That—that is impossible. Bellamy took me from the wedding. He did not hurt me. It was you who nearly killed me. You have been hunting me for months. You!” I screamed the final word, jerking when Mia reached out to soothe me. “Do not touch me!”
“You are scaring me, Asher. Please, calm down.” Mia’s voice was filled with terror, but I knew how capable she was of spinning lies. I knew my mind. I knew my truth. I knew Bellamy. I knew it all.
I knew.
Without thinking, I pushed off the wall and shoved Mia. She flew back, her body slamming into one of the four golden posts that made up my canopy bed. Her shout of pain was startling, so soft was the noise that for a moment I believed it. Only a moment though, because then I recalled all she had done and knew better than to pity her. Not sparing her another glance, I ran towards my double doors, clawing at the gold upon my body to free myself from its torment.
Tish walked through just as I grabbed for the golden handles, and I was forced to stop mid-step. My memories of her wan face and deteriorating body did not line up with what was in front of me. The Healer looked immaculate, her skin now ivory rather than gray, her short brown hair silky again.
She looked as she did the night before my wedding.
My heart raced in my chest, and I found myself gripping my hair again. How had it grown back? How long had they kept me asleep? On instinct, I looked down at my arms. The skin there, once more a light brown rather than the darker shade it had become from so much time outdoors this last year, was free of the jagged scars.
No. It could not be. I knew what was real.
“What have you done to me?” I asked. Begged.
“Asher, I do not know what you mean. Please, get in bed and lie down. Then you can explain to me what it is you think happened, and I can tell you all that has occurred since the attack.” The queen gestured to the lush golden bed, a small frown of concern thinning her lips.
“No, I know what happened. You tortured me, Mia. You nearly killed Bellamy!” My bellows echoed off the high ceilings, a small wind coming in through the slightly ajar windows behind me. Perhaps I could jump, then they would not be able to use me for whatever sinister game they had begun playing.
“My flower, I do not know who that is. Please, you need rest. The realm will be so glad to hear you are finally awake after so long, but you have to be well-rested and calm to address them,” she cautioned. I continued to back up, once more allowing myself to be cornered.
“You claim not to know your own son now?” Each word was a knife soaring through the air with jagged slashes, missing the mark. Mia did not grow angry like I had hoped, did not do so much as gasp with offense. Instead, her blue eyes watered as she stumbled back. As if in pain. Fake. All of it fake.
“How dare you, Ash!” Xavier’s voice cut in. I whipped my head to the right, catching a glimpse of the king as he rushed in to aid his wife. He embraced her, a gentle touch born not of love but of familiarity. Just as they had been before my wedding. “You know how hard the loss of Baron was on us. What could we have possibly done for you to throw out such hateful lies?”
Genuine disbelief slackened his face, as if he truly could not think of something he had done that would warrant such an offense. As if none of the last year had occurred.
Impossible. I could not have dreamt up the life I had lived since my wedding. I was…I could not have.
Bellamy was real. Our love was the most real thing I had ever known. Yes, it was real.
“I think Princess Asher needs space to rest,” Tish said, looking at me as if I were a rabid animal. Lies. All of it, lies! I wanted to scream at them that I was not stupid, but Mia sniffled and nodded. The three of them slowly and steadily left my chambers, six eyes trained on me as if looking away would mean being mauled to death.
By the time my mind registered what they were doing, it was too late. I ran at them, trying to stop them from locking me in. Xavier ripped the doors closed, the sound of the lock clicking into place ringing through the space just before my fists hit the door. I pounded on them with a desperation I had not known in so long. When my knocks failed to free me, I began punching into it, the bite of the splintering wood as it gave beneath my strength unable to deter me.
I had not prepared for the granite set of doors behind those. A cry of outrage shattered the silence, my screams that of a caged animal. And that was what I was now. What I had always been.
Tears streamed down my face when my fist hit the granite, making no noticeable dent. Again and again I tried and failed to break through it, throwing my entire body into them to no avail. Pain was a reminder that I was real, that I was here, that I was aware. They could tell me all the lies they wished, but I was smarter than that.
Heaving deep breaths, I turned from the doors and began desperately ripping off the gold silk from my body. When I was completely bare, I ran to the bathing chambers and slammed the door behind me. That was fine. I was out of the dungeons, so I had a better chance of escape.
Unwilling to think of any other outcome, I nodded and quickly walked to the large tub that had been mine for so long. Now it felt foreign, like it belonged to another being altogether. Still, it was a refuge of sorts as I crawled in it and curled into a ball on the dry bottom.
“It was real,” I whispered into the void.
Yes, it had all been real. I just needed to remind myself. To repeat. To remember.
“Bellamy took me from my wedding,” I began. “He took me and saved me. I found a family. A real family. Noe, Henry, Ranbir, Lian, Cyprus, Winona, Pino, Damon, and Luca. We traveled from Haven to Dunamis. We trained and I fell in love. Bellamy loved me—loves me. We battled and lost, we suffered but we lived. Bellamy told me stories and held me. He kissed me like I was a blessing rather than a curse. I knew not of loneliness because I had them. Wrath, I had Wrath.”
“Did you, Strange One?”
The haunting gravely voice was like a leaf in the wind, slowly falling to my ears. Gasping, I turned to my right, finding Wrath there. He was in his smaller form, the size of a dog. His gray fur was silky and intact, his throat whole. The dalistori looked just as he had before my world came crashing down.
“Wrath? What—what are—I do not—”
“Cat got your tongue, Asher?” he asked, licking a paw as he did. His yellow eyes never left mine though.
“You died,” I croaked out. My sweet Wrathy, gone forever. But no, he was here now. How was he here? Had Padon sent him back to me? Had he shown me mercy?
“Or perhaps I never existed at all.” As he spoke, the dalistori jumped down into the tub, laying in a ball just as I was. “Maybe you dreamt of something better after a lifetime of worse than one can imagine. It would make sense. How else would your hair and body and world be just as you had left it all those months ago?”
I balked at him, baffled by such a theory. No. I was not insane. I had not imagined nearly an entire year of my life. How could I? Why would I?
“Oh please, I am not that creative.” My whispered sarcasm was a weak version of what I had once been, and I realized for the first time since awaking that my voice was hoarse. As if it had not been used in a long while.
“You have always dreamed of better, you just did not have the means to allow yourself to live in those dreams. A magical coma seems like the perfect time to fall victim to such madness. It would make sense for someone like you. The balance to a being with magic that takes from the mind would be…” he trailed off, his fluffy tail swishing back and forth as he watched me curiously.
“Would be what, exactly?”
“Losing your own.”
With that, Wrath disappeared.
***
“Bellamy saved me. He taught me to love. Mia stole that love. I was freed and then imprisoned. Cherished and then tortured. I know what is real.” My sort of mantra were the only words I had said since Wrath left me yesterday. “I know what is real.”
Every inch of my skin was pebbled from the cold of my bathtub, but I refused to move. A dinner plate had been left on the table beside my tub by Maybel, who had gushed over finally seeing me awake after so long, only to shriek when she realized I was naked in the bath. I could not bring myself to regret shoving her when she reached down for me or screaming at her to leave me alone.
No one had come for breakfast.
All the best. I needed to ground myself. To remember what they willed me to forget. Not eat more poison.
A knock on my bathing chamber door startled me out of my thoughts. So much for alone time to ground myself.
“Ash,” Xavier’s voice rang from beyond the door. Not him, anyone but him.
“Be gentle with her, Xavier. She is confused,” Mia chided. Okay, anyone but them.
“Asher, please, we just want to talk to you. We worry that you are not well. That magic, the burst of darkness, it hit you right in the chest. Perhaps whatever it did to keep you asleep is also muddying up your mind.” Mia’s soft and gentle tone was anything but welcome. It was all a lie. They meant to keep me here, to once more make me docile. To retrain me like a prized pet that had an outburst and needed a lesson. But I could no longer be tamed.
Bellamy was real. Bellamy loved me.
“Ash?” Xavier asked with concern.
I was strong. I was more than a pawn. I had lived.
My door burst open then, the two of them rushing in. I grabbed a towel to shield myself, but otherwise remained silent.
I had visited other realms, seen another world. I had conquered and could do so again.
“My flower, are you well?” Mia bent down beside the tub, a tear falling down her cheek. She could star in plays with that talent.
“You have been poisoning me for two centuries, I do not think I will ever be well again. I am surprised my body even functioned without it for as long as it did.” Curling further into myself, I thought of ways I might escape. But if I did, then what would that mean for the world? Mia would simply come after me again. There was no stopping her. Killing her was the only option now.
“Honestly, you know we would never do such a thing. Getting out of your chambers might help. How about I send up Maybel and Tish, then you and I can take a walk through the gardens?” The queen did not wait for my answer before she pressed a kiss to the top of my head and grabbed Xavier by the arm, dragging him. So fast I nearly missed it, she yanked on the golden pulley that would ring in Maybel’s chambers and left.
I did not want to see her, but better the handmaiden than the royals. Whatever they aimed to get out of this farce would do little for them. I would not break.
I knew what was real.
Maybel showed up only minutes later, a thin gold gown draped over her arm. Gods, end me now. If only I had remembered what Sterling said their names were.
Sterling!
Despite my desire not to wear the wretched color, I ripped the dress from Maybel’s hands. I needed to see Sterling, to check on him and possibly free him. But I would not have long before Mia came back.
“Your Highness, you cannot just snatch the clothes from my hands like that!” Maybel shouted, chiding me. Did she know the truth? Was she lying to me as well? Could it have been her who had done the poisoning for the royals over the last two centuries? Even if she were not aiding them in their plans, she had still forced me to dress for my wedding. Had helped prepare me for my slaughter.
Solely for my affection for her as a youngling, I chose not to snap her neck then and there. Instead, I willed my magic into her mind and forced her to sleep. The act was like swimming in sludge, my whole body growing fatigued with the small show of magic. Whatever doses they were giving me now must have been larger than before.
How had they done it? When I was asleep? I knew it was probably in the food and water, but if they dosed me as I slept then I would need to be vigilant. No matter, sleep and food and water had been kept from me before.
Hastily, I dressed, cringing as I donned the gilded undergarments and slid the golden fabric up my body. But Sterling was more important than my feelings—than my comfort. So I sucked in heaving breaths, wiped the tears from my eyes, stepped into slippers, and walked out of my chambers.
Soft clicks echoed off the barren gold walls as I made my way to where I knew the dungeons awaited. How strange, the hollowness of this place. Never had I thought too deeply on why they had left everything bare, but now, as I rushed through the halls and tried to ignore the way my skin crawled, I did. Why had they not adorned the walls with art or any sort of decoration? What was it that made them wish for the palace to be so horribly empty?
Like their hearts.
Attempting to understand them was futile. They were not worth the energy. That was what I said to myself as I pressed on, ducking around corners when staff or counsel members walked past. The palace was bustling with fae, as if something important was about to occur.
But I was not as careful as I should have been.
A particularly lively group of staff came teeming around a corner far quicker than others had. With one floor left, I was determined to not be spotted, so I dove for the nearest door, opening it and locking myself in.
Pressing my ear to the golden wood, I listened for any sign that they passed, but it was what was behind me that quickly drew my focus.
“Asher?” A small gasp slipped from between my lips at the sound of Raven’s voice. The daughter of the Royal Single had not changed since the last time I had seen her. She was about sixty years my junior, but far more fierce than I had been at her age and a notorious gossip.
Ultimately, I was fucked.
“Hey, Raven. Sorry, I did not realize you were in here,” I admitted, reaching for the handle. The small sitting room was lit with candles. Raven sat on a sofa as she read a book, even the spine of which was gold. She wore a stunning blue gown, the soft tones of a vibrant sky highlighting her dark hair and eyes well. Her look of astonishment had my hackles rising. “Really, it is my fault. I will just go find something else to do.”
“You sound odd.” Raven stood then, tossing the book onto the sofa as she assessed me.
“What do you mean?”
“You are talking strangely,” she added.
“Oh.” Clearing my throat, I straightened, rubbing my sweaty hands on the stifling dress. Breathe. Just breathe. “Well, I am feeling a bit sick. Plus, there is a lot going on and I have so much to do. In fact, I better get going before Mia—Queen Mia—finds me slacking off.”
Before I could so much as turn to face the door, Raven spoke again. “No, I mean you are speaking differently than you used to. Before you were attacked. You used to be so… proper. Even with those of us who knew you personally.” Her head tilted slightly to the side, and I nearly lost it.
An image of Bellamy sarcastically cocking his head as he teased me flashed across my mind, and I thought the world might cave in. Everything became blurry, the air around me too thick to choke down. Bellamy, my loving and wicked and perfect Bellamy.
“Asher, I really think you should sit down. You look like you might be sick. I will go get King Xavier or Queen Mia. They should know you are awake.” With that, she rushed past me and whipped open the door.
Maybe it was wrong, and perhaps the old me would have hesitated, but I was no longer the female I had been crafted into. I had repainted the canvas, remolded the statue. The new me—the one with far less pity in my heart and a desperate need to save the ones I loved—had no qualms with reaching into Raven’s mind and forcing her to sleep. She hit the ground with a loud thud, deep red seeping across the ground from a gash on her head.
That was fine. She would be fine. It was fine.
Heart pounding, I made a break for it, leaving her sprawled out in the doorway. Every step seemed to ring through the entire palace, letting all know where I was, but I somehow managed to reach the long stairwell to the dungeons with no interference.
Taking them two at a time, I flew down the paths, winding through the halls until I came upon the line of cells I had known as a sort of home for the last week. For the first time, no fire burned in the wall sconces, the space practically void of light.
Passing each set of bars until I reached the final one, I found myself face-to-face with…nothing.
The cell was empty.
No. No. No. No. No!
“My flower, what is it you are doing down here?” Mia asked quietly. I wanted to burst, to shed my skin and free the evil within me that might finally end the queen. Anything other than simply stare at the cell void of a snarky and brave mortal prince.
But that did not happen. Of course it did not happen.
“Have you killed him?”
“Killed who? Asher, I wish I could make sense of what you are thinking, but I fear I might never understand. In fact, I am beginning to worry that whatever dark magic they attacked you with might be meant to turn you against me. To fill your head with these atrocious lies and steal you away.”
Scoffing, I gripped the bars in front of me and leaned forward, letting my forehead press into the iron. Magic slithered within my chest like a chained dragon wishing to take flight. As a last-ditch effort, I freed that darkness within me, wishing beyond reason that it would strike Mia. There, in the silence of the dungeons, I sensed the way it barreled into her mind, striking a golden garden of pure energy. There was no sign of the blackness that had been a sort of barrier in Haven, but with poison in my veins, my magic did little more than ricochet off the flower petals.
Mia shouted, the sound of her heels smacking into the stone floors as she stumbled back making me smile despite the failure.
“Asher! What is wrong with you?” Her screeched words made my ears ring, and maybe it was that loss of depth that suddenly left me unable to hold back. Not wasting another moment, I turned and ran at her. Our bodies hit like two realms colliding. Using my momentum, I forced her to the ground, watching with glee as her head smashed into the stone beneath us. “Asher, stop! You are hurting me!”
“And you have hurt me my entire fucking life! You have done nothing but hurt me, Mia!” I wrapped my hands around her throat, squeezing with all my strength as I lifted her slightly and then once more forced her head to snap back. A crack resounded just before blood began flowing freely from beneath her tangerine hair. “This is my thanks for a lifetime of pain.”
Mia did not fight me as I tightened my grip, my eyes wide and mind racing with all the good her death would bring. Perhaps it might even give me the peace I had endlessly searched for. I was willing to be a monster for such a thing. Refusing to blink, I watched and watched as her eyes grew wider, her skin turning a violent red before fading to a blueish tint. There was no time to wonder at why she was letting me kill her, only enough seconds to remind myself that she had to die.
“Asher, no!” The ordered shout came just before a body barreled into mine, forcing me off Mia and sending me sprawling across the ground. Every newly healed bone in my body seemed to ache as I caught my breath, the male now holding me down as he shouted for help.
Through hazy and watering eyes, I looked up to find Sterling above me.