Chapter Nineteen
Bellamy
“ W hat are you doing?” I asked as I leaned against the doorframe.
“Thinking. Planning.” Adbeel did not so much as look up at me as he continued to walk, his gaze down and mouth moving with silent words.
“It looks like pacing to me.”
“I am a king, I do not pace.”
“Ah, yes. Sorry. That planning looks more like walking quickly from one spot to another and then back.” Approaching him, I took a seat at the chair in front of his office desk. This was the first time I had been in the space since Adbeel and I argued last. Since I told him about Malcolm. Now, I noted that the traitorous prince’s portrait had been taken down. Erased from existence.
“I am not in the mood for your sarcasm, nor your presence.” Ouch.
“I take it you are still mad.” There was no denying it. Just as it was true beyond a doubt that I deserved the wrath Adbeel held for me, waiting to be set free.
“Of course I am mad! You had no right to hide her from me!” he yelled, finally looking at me. His billowing blue top moved with every lift of his hands, his silver trousers catching the light of the fading day through the windows in the office. My eyes caught sight of the waves as they barreled towards The Royal City.
“You are right,” I admitted. Salt water sprayed up the side of the cliff that held the castle. What a beautiful place for such a horrible conversation. I breathed in the air that reminded me of my youth. The adolescence that Asher should have had.
“She is my blood, my granddaughter.” He did not so much as acknowledge my words as he pointed my way with his entire hand. His dark eyes blazed with fury. Eyes that Asher did not have, somehow. The first of his line to not possess the nearly black shade of iris.
“She is,” I agreed.
“I thought the youngling had died with my son and daughter. Now I come to find out that not only is my son still alive, but so is his—”
“Adbeel, I know I fucked up.” My words silenced him for a moment. I took the chance to plead my case, however poor it was. “At first, it was completely selfish. I found out who she was, and I panicked. Pino had shown me so many moments of our lives together. He had given me something I first thought was a gift, but later realized was a curse. For months I watched her, had her followed, and dreamt of her. But I did not know how to tell you when Pino was so insistent that she had to find out with you.”
At that, he sighed, sitting down in his bleached driftwood chair. He waved his hand, urging me to continue on. Nodding, I sat straighter and attempted to convey what had gone through my mind the last two years.
“When I finally had her with me, I wanted just a bit of that time he had shown me. To love her and know peace with her before I told you both the truth and faced the possibility of losing her. Then, when I took her to the Royal City, you were gone. Haven was attacked the next day, and she became obsessed with earning her right at happiness. It was as if she could not pause for even a moment. I think she feared speaking to you and discovering what I was keeping from her would somehow be self-serving. That if she thought of herself for once then she would no longer deserve whatever joy might come of it.”
Adbeel seemed to straighten up at that. As if the sound of who Asher truly was to her core intrigued him. Perhaps it did. She was what a queen ought to be.
“Still, you deserved more than that. I should have pushed her. I should have, for once, chosen something other than my own wants. I should have done better. There is no way to take it back, but I will bring her home to us. That I can promise.” My words were determined, fierce even. Yet, Adbeel did not seem settled by them. Did he not believe me? Did he not think me good enough for his blood? He knew who I was. What a monster I could become.
“No, Bellamy. I will be getting my granddaughter. The Capital shall burn. If that bitch queen does not surrender her, then she will watch her entire realm turn to dust. It is as simple as that. They want a war, I will give them one.” He stood then, moving to grab the sword that hung on his wall. A trophy of past battles. A memory of another life.
I thought of the note I had received from Henry earlier. Of how important it was to not make hasty moves, no matter how much it pained me. But I would not ignore another Oracle’s orders.
“We have a plan. An Oracle lives once more. She grew up with Asher, and she has implored us not to move just yet. Asher’s safety and the future of our world hang in the balance.” So ominous was my tone that Adbeel whipped around, staring at me with wide eyes that seemed to water as I spoke. “She says we are to wait a few weeks.”
“Are you truly asking me to once again leave my granddaughter in the hands of sycophants? Tyrants?” I merely stared at him, trying to plead with my eyes. Not only for his agreement, but for his undeserved forgiveness as well. “You have one month. After that I will get my granddaughter, the future be damned.”
***
Stassi sat on my bed, her toes wiggling as she painted them black. I ignored her in favor of bending down and lifting one of my floorboards. Privacy was the last thing on my mind as I took out the small blood-red box. Opening it up, I paused momentarily to touch Asher’s amethyst necklace, the cold gem making my heart ache. Then I grabbed her anklet, which I had found on her side table when I first came back to this room in Pike. Gods, it had looked perfect on her.
With a deep breath, I set them both down and picked up one of the rolled pieces of paper. A chuckle slipped past my lips as I read the back and forth between us.
I miss the sound of your laugh and feel of your hand in mine more than ever today.
You are so sappy. How is it anyone fears you when all you spout is poetic nonsense?
P.S. I miss you too. So much.
Do not lie, I know you love it when I praise you, my beautiful creature.
Oh please, you are so full of yourself, demon.
When you touch yourself tonight as you think of me, make sure to write back with that dirty little hand after.
For you, my darling idiot, anything.
“If you’re going to cry, will you do it in your bathroom? I’m starting to feel a hangover coming on and I don’t care for your sad little sniffles to make my headache worse,” Stassi said. I looked up to find her now blowing on the polish, still wiggling her toes like an annoying little youngling. The high demon said she was tens of thousands of years old. I wished she would act like it.
“You know, Stassi, I have a remedy for headaches.” The pink-haired fiend looked over to me, a single brow rising in interest. My smile widened, my old self surfacing for a moment. “Death. I can help you out, if you would like.”
She promptly threw one of my pillows at me, which I swatted away. Ignoring her and rolling my eyes, I returned the note to the box. Then I grabbed the new note from Henry and reread the final line.
We are going to bring her home, Bell.
It was hard to think of such a bright future. Or, it had been. But now that I was free of her magic, I could finally see the light at the end of this tunnel. Breathing deeply to stop myself from actually crying in front of the vermin on my bed, I rolled the note back up and tossed it inside.
“I cannot go with you when you search for Stella,” I said as I picked the box up.
Stassi huffed, drawing my attention. “You have no choice.”
“Helping you is not the problem. It is the fact that I have been absent from my army for far too much of the last year. I need to focus as war nears.”
“A much worse war will come if we don’t find Stella,” she insisted. I watched as she stood, curious about what she would do. Instead of hostility, she merely stopped in front of me, peering down with a face that looked simultaneously furious and panicked. Stassi was scared . “This is more important than anything else, Bellamy. The high demon of Sun and Moon is our only shot at beating Padon— at surviving .” Sincerity coated her words, the sweetness of such a thing unable to mask the bitterness of the imminent future.
Limited options made all desperate, and I was beginning to realize that even gods—no, high demons —were not above hopelessness.
Once more, I chose to ignore her completely. I stood, bringing the box with me to my small wooden desk. I set it down, pulling out a fresh piece of paper from the top drawer that she had carelessly disheveled earlier. Her silence seemed to grow hostile, charging the air, but I did not care. My fingers grazed a pencil, the graphite cold against my heated fingers. Hunching forward, I began yet another letter.
Asher,
I hate what you have done to me. To us. You took my choice away, something you have always been so adamantly against. Yet here I sit, unable to come after you. Well, sort of. A long story that I can summarize in four sentences.
I would give anything and everything to fight with you right now. To breathe the air that you do. To hold you again and feel at home in your nearness. Of all the things in this world, you are and will always be the most precious.
Soon, we will be able to argue again, beautiful creature.
Love, Bellamy
“What is it with this princess that has all of you oafs on your knees for her?” Stassi asked from over my shoulder, reading as I wrote. I snatched up the paper, rolling it quickly and tossing it into the box.
“Your insufferable personality and your inability to mind your fucking business probably pushes males towards other females often,” I muttered, snatching the box and moving to return it to its home. She followed, a growl emanating from her chest.
“You need to take this seriously. Do you think I don’t have someone I wish I could run and get? That I don’t want more than being a lackey desperate for a new master? Our desires don’t matter right now, prince .”
Gods if she did not know exactly where to strike me. Even worse, she was right.
Sighing, I stood straight once more, facing off with the tiny beast.
I was selfish. It was a simple fact. And perhaps it was because she did not know me, but choosing to stay at Pike instead of going to Asher was the least selfish thing I had possibly ever done. The hurt of what felt like choosing being a general over saving my soulmate ran deep enough that every second had to be a conscious choice to listen to Nicola’s orders.
Now, as I stared down the barely five-foot tall high demon, I wondered if it were possible to ever be anything but self-serving. If, in the end, no matter what I did, it would always come down to me. To what was best for me and those I loved.
I wanted to be different. Eternity knew how desperately I wished I could be more like Asher. Though, I also wished she would be more like me. Maybe that was why we were the perfect match. Balance. And maybe I could find balance now.
“Okay. I can compromise with you. Tell me how I can help without leaving this base. Give me tasks that do not require all of my attention. That I can do,” I conceded. She stepped back, as if surprised by how easily my mind could be changed. If only she knew how truly difficult it actually was.
“Well, for starters, you can help me access anything of Asta’s. If Stella has been living on this world like I think she has, then she’s been doing so in secret. She likely has been blending in with you all without you even realizing it. Which means she uses very little magic and often stays put. Give me Asta’s journals in particular and I will let you stay here.”
Interesting. The idea of Stella being on Alemthian for millennia without any of us knowing was both absurd and unexplainably exciting. More than that, this was a compromise I could easily make. Too easily. It was almost suspicious.
“Fine. I can send someone to the archives later today. Right now I have a meeting and then training.” Her only response was a scoff, which I took as a sign of agreement. “Look at us, compromising and being unselfish. A new world indeed.”
“You’re proving yourself to be egregiously stupid.”
“And you are proving yourself to be unceasingly exasperating.”
“Better than stupid.”
“Take it from someone who finds themself constantly surrounded by both, it is the irksome ones that make you go mad,” I quipped before stepping to the door. “Speaking of which, I have a few wonderful idiots to speak to.”
Closing the door, I had only made it a step before she yelled, “Dumbass!”
Fortunately for me, walking down the hall to my office offered much warmer greetings.
“Okay, asshole, what is it you wanted?” Noe asked from her spot in my desk chair. She was still angry at me for not letting her stay with the pirates. Though I did not blame her, I still found myself letting out an annoyed groan.
She was wearing training leathers and had her hair up in a twist, clearly prepared for the session starting soon. Damon was standing in the corner to her right, his silver hair glowing beneath the sun that streamed in from the window. He was also adorned in black training wear, though his exposed his arms. Ranbir had on his signature white outfit, prepared for another day in the infirmary. He had his hair in a plait today, the braid going down his back. His beard had been trimmed by Noe, but only barely. Cyprus seemed more alive than normal, a small smirk on his face and his leathers slightly muddy. Farai and Jasper had chosen to sit in the two chairs in front of my desk, their bodies also now adorning black leathers. Farai had his arm around Jasper as if shielding him.
“Well, I needed to update you on what Henry and Lian have learned. That, and I think it is important I tell you about something that has recently transpired.” They all stiffened, on edge for whatever it was I had to say.
Truly, I wished I did not have to. But if there was anything I learned from telling Adbeel about Asher, it was that the longer I kept a secret, the worse the reaction would be.
“Most of you know that Asher was abducted by what we thought was a god early this summer. Now, even then it was something that was hard to wrap our minds around. She had been targeted by something that many of us honestly thought was a figment of the imagination. But, today I have been shown just how real those beings are,” I admitted.
They all went slack-jawed, gaping at me like I had said the most insane and implausible thing in the world. In truth, I had. We all had been completely baffled when Asher told us, though we tried to act nonchalant when she was around. It had been a difficult thing to believe, and even more so that it could happen at any time. This was possibly even more unbelievable.
“A female portaled into my room early this morning. She said her name is Anastasia and that she is the high demon of Sin and Virtue.”
“What is a high demon and what does it have to do with the gods?” Noe asked, nearly cutting off my final word.
“There are no such thing as gods. They are all high demons.” I shrugged, causing each of them to stare at me in silent disbelief. “Listen, we do not have time to waste, so I am going to give you a shortened version. What we thought were gods are actually called high demons. They live on a world called Shamay, the same place that Asta and Stella were from. Anastasia—Stassi—wants our help finding Stella—”
“Is Stella not on Shamay?” Cyprus shouted in horror. The others began to murmur, but I lifted a hand to silence them.
“I thought she was, but Stassi believes that Stella came here with Asta. Apparently, Stella was banished from their world after she stuck up for Asta’s betrayal. She is hoping that we can locate some of Asta’s old journals for her to read over with the goal of locating Stella.” I was eager to be done with the explanation, my words a rushed jumble. But they each understood. I could tell by the way they nodded with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.
“I can get my hands on those,” Noe offered. I nodded her way, a sort of thanks for her help. And then, with a deep breath, I readied for the arguing.
“One more thing. Asher is Adbeel’s granddaughter.” Their shouts were even louder than I expected they would be.