Chapter Forty-Five
Asher
“ N o, our only option is to lure the fae out. We need to be the ones to dictate when and where this happens,” I demanded. All around me, the members of the war council looked to be in various phases of shock.
“We also need to consider that Mia Mounbetton will be as strategic as we will, not to mention that she has a demon on her side,” Bellamy added, letting his fingers trail scandalous images on my leather-clad thigh beneath the table. I swatted his hand away, but he just chuckled and put it back.
“We might be better off simply burning Betovere to the ground,” Adbeel huffed, staring daggers at the five islands to the East of Eoforhild. “We have seen what they will do to not only our innocents, but the mortals as well.”
Across from me, Shah seethed. The Queen of Behman had come this morning, her body healed and her rage at an all-time high. She was ready for this war. Eager even. Genevieve was at her side, finally back from Maliha.
Sterling had been forced to leave with her, much to Stassi’s complaints and death threats. The only thing that had soothed her was what had to have been one of the most scandalous kisses I had ever witnessed. Sterling was a poor fighter, but he was clearly great at other things. Enough so that, when he whispered into Stassi’s ear, she had crossed her arms and nodded curtly before storming away.
Now, only Genevieve was at the table, Sterling likely off keeping promises.
“Speaking of that, I think we have more than one traitor working against us,” Bellamy added, not addressing the fact that Adbeel wanted to slaughter innocents in retribution for other innocents being killed.
“I agree. The attack on Behman and every attack before then felt too perfectly strategic. Someone was feeding information to the fae. I can look into it.” Noe often spoke up in these meetings, but this was one of the first times I felt the war council members agree with her. “Speaking of which, I found these in Betovere this morning.”
With that, she unceremoniously slapped down a stack of thick parchments upon the model of Alemthian. They scattered about the table, some falling into laps. I caught one and turned it over, gasping at what was there.
A depiction of…me.
Above the—rather flattering, honestly—outline of myself was the word “wanted” and below was a single, damning line. “For the murder of King Xavier Mounbetton.”
“Well?” Noe asked, her hazel eyes on mine. Nicola was silent where she sat on my right, Bellamy’s gaze burning a hole into me from my left.
“At least I look pretty.”
At that, Trint and Mordicai burst into laughter, the two allies always banding together. Today, only Lian, Damon, and Henry were here, Bellamy’s other six captains having been stationed in a separate territory with small forces each. Elrial, Nrista, and Onyx had all been relieved of their position as war council members by Adbeel when they had declared themselves vehemently against my being in these meetings. And when they spewed hate at me, Bellamy relieved them of their lives and threatened to do the same to anyone else.
It was a dramatic and bloody start to the meeting. Nyla, the queen of the mortal kingdom Yrassa, had yelled at Bellamy for two straight minutes for ruining her white dress. Marjorie, the last surviving member of the war council, had simply rolled her eyes and sent a burst of shadows at the prince. Bellamy’s head flung back slightly from the hit, like someone being bopped upside the head.
But at least we had moved onto more pressing matters. Like how stunning I looked on these wanted posters. My hand darted out, grabbing onto one that had Bellamy’s face instead. His said the same thing, and he had also been depicted fairly well.
Fine, he looked perfect.
“They are painting you two as murderers,” Lian said, her tone morose.
“They are murderers. The prince just killed three of his council members in cold blood,” Trint said in disbelief, gesturing towards Bellamy. I dared to look at my fiancé, finding a wicked smile upon his face and a devious glimmer in his eyes.
“Propaganda,” I chimed in. “It will work to reduce the rebel hold. Beings want something to fight for. More than that, they want someone to fight against. We are now their villains, and that will do wonders for Mia’s agenda.”
“That is not all. Malcolm has come out of hiding,” Noe reluctantly spoke. Her gaze flicked to Adbeel at the head of the table, his face flinching in pain. “The fae queen claims he is a reformed demon ready to end the blight of his kind. She has spread the epic story of him saving her life in the Fire Lands far and wide. Even worse, she is telling them all that you, Asher, are the reason they have no memories beyond the last three centuries. The fae want you dead.”
I meant to respond, but once again I heard my name. The same deep rasp calling out to me. It sounded like…like someone. I knew that voice.
“I think this meeting is over. We are all on edge and nothing will get done right now. Everyone take time to rest and breathe, we will reconvene in three days’ time.” Adbeel’s words were a booming demand. I jumped, my focus once more returning to the meeting.
Everyone startled at his outburst, but soon we were all dispersing, none of us quite sure what we should do as the end neared. Adbeel came to Bellamy and I, tugging us close. “We must move up the wedding. Time is running low.”
“But—”
“No buts, Asher. Two weeks,” Adbeel demanded.
“Excellent,” Bellamy enthused.
“Of course you would think so,” I grumbled.
“Do not worry, Adbeel, two weeks is easily accomplishable.”
“Ugh, I am leaving to go find Nicola before she gets too far, you two can enjoy the wedding planning on your own.” My feet moved quickly, desperate to put some space between myself and the Ayad males.
“Do not forget to speak to Noe about the flowers you want to choose!” Bellamy shouted.
“Already did, now leave me alone you beastly groom!” Chuckling at my insult, Bellamy shooed me away. Adbeel smiled at his side, waving as I turned the corner.
Darting through the corridors, I eagerly looked for Nicola’s silky brown curls amongst the dispersing crowd. But soon, I found myself alone, not even the sound of footsteps nearby. Where had she gone so fast? As I made the next turn, I got my answer.
“Looking for me?” Nicola asked from where she leaned against the wall. I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief to hide the fact that she had scared the Underworld out of me.
“I do not recall you being such a showoff,” I teased as my racing heart slowed, causing her to beam at me in pride.
“Well get used to it.” The two of us giggled as we joined our arms and began walking. It felt like second nature to be at her side, just as I had been for two centuries.
It was unfortunate that I would have to ruin the peace.
“So,” I said, trying to feign casualness. “Should we talk about the rebellion?”
Her sigh was paired with her shoulders slumping, as if she had been waiting for me to ask but was still sad that I did. We both knew it was an important conversation that needed to be had. Her rebels had attempted to kill me on multiple occasions, and I had slaughtered them in return. Not exactly preferred best friend activities.
“They were not meant to attack you.”
“I know.”
Our holds on each other simultaneously tightened, our sides becoming flush as we continued forward. Very few beings walked the halls, everyone either enjoying the last of the warm days or training for the horror we would soon endure. I was glad for that. This was something we needed to discuss alone.
“I killed a lot of your rebels, Nic,” I whispered.
“You did,” was all she said.
“I have killed a lot of fae in general,” I admitted.
This time, Nicola said nothing.
An explanation was necessary, but how did one elucidate why they committed graphic and horrific murder? We both knew it was not entirely self-defense. Even before Bellamy rescued me, I had done awful things. I was a murderer through and through. The wanted posters were correct in labeling me as such.
“All my life, I have been a killer. I took my first life almost immediately after I came into my magic. You have watched me become more and more corrupt, and all the while you have loved me despite my wickedness. But I think it is important that you know just how dark I have become.” Taking a deep breath, I resisted the urge to look at her and pushed on. “In the last year, I have rather brutally murdered more than I can count, your rebels included. Once, I would have wallowed in regret because of what I had done, but I do not feel that way anymore. I am what I am, and I understand if I am no longer someone you can call your best friend. But I needed you to know that. To know me as I am now. Because that is the real reason your rebels wanted me dead. They see me for what I am—a monster.”
Nicola’s free hand suddenly pressed into my chest, pushing me back and forcing me to stop. She was in front of me in a flash, her deep green dress swishing around my legs.
“First of all, you are not the only one with blood staining your hands. Yes, you have done heinous things, but you are not unique in that respect.” I stared at her with wide eyes, her face fierce as she scolded me. “In all my life, I have never been loved by someone as you have loved me. Not even Kafele. Without fail, you have been at my side for every mishap, tear, laugh, disappointment, and accomplishment for almost my entire life. Doing the same for you was not a favor or a hassle.”
A male wearing the colors of Behman came towards us, momentarily silencing Nicola. But all the while, her big brown eyes glared my way. When he had finally passed, she shoved me toward the wall, forcing my back to smack into the rock.
“Second, the rebels had been active long before I took over. Those who wish to harm you are a part of the group that need to be weeded out, many of which do not want to follow me at all.” I nodded, hoping that she saw how seriously I was taking her—how intently I was listening. “Everyone sees my potential and the benefit of having an Oracle at the helm. Still, I am not surprised that they went behind my back and defied my orders to get to you. Some of it I even foresaw, but I watched you handle it yourself. What you did was not helpful for the cause, but I have worked hard to make sure they are all ready to fight on your side. Because it is you who will change the Fae Realm for the better. Only you can unite the mortals, demons, and fae. You are our savior in so many ways. I need you to see that.”
Was that a tear rolling down my cheek? Yes, it was.
What did I say to that? Thank you for being the best possible friend I could ever ask for in all my life? That did not sound like enough.
“Third—”
“There is more?” I asked, my voice cracking. She slapped my arm, a laugh slipping past her lips before she hushed it with a stern expression.
“ Third, we have plans in place to make sure that the rebel movement does not die out, which includes striving for unity throughout the entire realm. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure that those who are willing to sacrifice innocents are taken care of. You have every right to hate that. And, before you say or think it, that does not make you a hypocrite.” Gods, she really did think of everything. See everything, was more like it. It must have been so exhausting, knowing so much. Feeling the mass of the future upon your shoulders was something that I could relate to, and I hated seeing it weigh her down. “I am sorry that I did not tell you what was going on. It is hard juggling what I have seen with what still needs to happen. I just…struggle. We can further discuss it all soon, and I am still in contact with my second who is eager to speak with you. This is all going to work out. Alemthian will see brighter days, I know it. We can do this.”
Nodding, I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into me, hugging her so fiercely it probably hurt. “Thanks, Nic. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Always, Ash,” she whispered, letting go of me with a sniffle. We stared at one another, basking in the friendship and sisterhood we had cultivated, the rare perfection of such a thing worth reveling in. A smile slowly lifted her cheeks as she took a few steps away from me. “Onto less morose things.”
Something hard smashed into me then, knocking the air out of my lungs and making me fall to the ground in a heap.
“Ash baby!” Farai screamed, pulling me into a hug. “Nic says we are going for a picnic!”
“Eternity above, Fair, you are going to flatten her,” Jasper scolded between quite unserious cackles.
“Nah, she lives. I have seen it,” Nicola stated matter-of-factly.
I opened my eyes, seeing the three of them all smiling down at me, and groaned in pain.
“You three are crazy.”
***
“Do you ever wonder how we went from kissing each other by the lake and having no responsibility—other than not getting into too much trouble—to suddenly being in the midst of a war?” Nicola asked. I snorted, turning my head so our noses touched.
We were all four laying on a thick quilt we had spread out on the rocky ground at the base of one of the mountains. Half-eaten food surrounded us, bottles of wine being passed back and forth as we talked.
“You were a bad kisser, so I was forced to find better,” I teased, nudging her nose with mine. Her fingers stung where they suddenly came up and flicked me, my forehead momentarily aching. Farai burst into laughter at my other side, Jasper trying and failing to simmer him down.
“I was doing you a favor since you were a lonely little menace that no one wanted to make out with.” Did Nicola know about Sipho? Had she realized I had, in fact, been kissed by someone other than her before then?
I had never told her, but I wondered if she knew anyways with that power of hers.
“The only way to know for sure is if you kiss again,” Farai declared, lifting his pointer finger towards the sky. “Or maybe you should both kiss me.”
“Absolutely not!” Jasper shouted, sitting up so fast that he knocked over our last bottle of wine. At that, we all burst into laughter, the four of us howling and rolling across the ground like wild animals.
“Remember that one time in Academy when you laughed so hard that milk came out of your nose and went into Jasper’s eyes?” I gasped out between giggles, Nicola laughing even harder at the memory.
“He cried!” she shouted, snorting. My hands went to my cramping stomach, clutching onto it for dear life as we all continued to laugh.
“Or when Asher drank an entire bottle of rum she bought off a merchant at the market and fell down the huge flight of stairs at the palace?” Jasper asked, snorting so loudly it practically echoed off the sky above us.
“My shoes were slippery!” I shouted, reaching over Farai to punch Jasper in the arm. He grunted in pain, Farai laughing even harder.
The four of us continued to shout out random memories or stories, the instances growing sparser as we began recalling times closer to the present. It was those conversations that made us realize how matters such as fraternization truly did rip us apart. Perhaps that was what they were meant to do above all else.
From what they said, the factions were not fans of one another. They found themselves in constant competition, each thinking themselves better than the others. Even the sub-factions argued and battled, the segregation so deep that they saw only their differences. And how perfect was that for a line of royalty that sought to dominate?
Mia and Xavier had successfully tore apart the fae, preventing them from uniting and fighting back. Betovere was weaker, not stronger. The breeding meant little when the complacency meant everything.
A realm divided was a realm prime for conquering, after all.
After some time of heavy silence, our laughter long gone upon the whispers of wind and wisteria, Nicola asked a tough question.
“Will you come back to the Fae Realm with us?”
Without hesitation or further thought, I shook my head and answered with an unsteady voice. “I belong here in Eoforhild. I still have so much to learn and hopefully beings to convince that I am worth following, but I also need to think about the fact that my birthright is that throne. My only living relative is the demon king and my fiancé is the heir to the throne. Not to mention that I have so much of my own history to learn here.”
They all three looked at me with resigned sorrow. But what could I do other than fight for my place in this world? I had been stripped of too much for too long. I no longer wished to sit upon a throne that I did not belong on. I was not meant to be surrounded by gold and leading fae. They had ostracized me because I truly was not meant to be there. I would never be one of them. Yes, I was half fae, but my soul sang in Eoforhild. I was meant to be here, just as they were meant to be in Betovere.
“I promise I will find someone perfect for that throne when the time comes,” I vowed.
Nicola looked at me with a sparkle in her eye that told me she knew more about that future than I possibly could. I both wished to know and to never find out. It was daunting, thinking about a future in which I survived to heal and move forward. How heavy that would be.
And how absolutely wonderful.
“Onto better questions. Nic…” Farai finally said, grabbing Jasper’s hand and laying his head onto my stomach to face Nicola. His two-toned cheeks began to darken and heat against my shirt. “Is there any chance you would want to carry our youngling if we all survive this mess?”
We celebrated for hours more as we dared to dream what their youngling would look like and Nicola decided what she would wear when her stomach grew round.
***
“Gods, I missed you,” Bellamy whispered as he fell into bed beside me. His arms instantly reached forward and pulled me into him. I listened as he breathed me in, sighing with relief when his hands settled tightly around me.
“I saw you earlier today,” I pointed out. Groans were all he initially offered in response before his lips pressed to the edge of my shoulder that had been left bare from my nightdress. I could not pretend that I had not been obsessively thinking of him as well. It had been hard to be apart for too long since they had rescued me from Isle Element. Parts of myself that I used to stifle now ran rampant within me, forcing me to acknowledge the fact that I was tempted to damn the world and just rest with my soulmate—my everything.
“Exactly, that was practically years ago.” A hint of his stubble scratched at my neck as he spoke, making me giggle. The tickle was paired with his tongue and lips as he whispered against my skin about hating everything but me and wishing he could live between my legs. When he started asking if he could bury his cock into my tight cunt and stay there forever I began to pant and squirm. So deliciously filthy was my fiancé that I barely noticed the tremors that were slowly ceasing within me from the last nightmare. Luckily, I had awoken from it alone, my violent screams met with only taunting darkness and haunting freedom.
Now, as he tugged off my clothes, Bellamy unwittingly soothed my fears—my memories of violent hands and cutting words. His soft lips traced lines down my stomach, stitching together the phantom slices. Nothing felt quite as perfect as the first lick of his tongue up my dripping center. Almost every time, he paired it with strong hands nearly bruising my thighs as he forced them apart and up. He knew me better than I knew myself, and every angle or position or motion only proved that further.
“You taste better and better every time,” he mumbled against my throbbing clit before shoving his tongue inside of me. I cried out, my hands gripping his hair for dear life. Silence was shattered again and again as I screamed with every delicious new step he took me up the staircase of my pleasure.
He teased and tormented me, sometimes shoving me down a few steps just for his own amusement as he delayed the inevitable. When I was a sweaty mess and he was gasping for air that he refused to take enough of, I finally caved and did what he loved best.
“Please, Bellamy. Please make me come.”
“You know I love it when you beg me, beautiful creature.”
In seconds I was arching my back and clawing at the sheets as he curved his long, thick fingers within me and shook his face against me. Bellamy carried me to the top of the stairs and then shoved me off the edge. My release was almost painful from how intense it was, my desperate screams loud and unencumbered before he suddenly shoved his fingers into my mouth and twisted until his rings grazed my lips and his nails touched the back of my throat. I gagged and sucked on them, tasting how much my body loved his.
“My good princess. So great at doing what you are told when it is me making the demands,” Bellamy rasped as he moved above me. I stared up at him with a mixture of lust and awe, his black tunic barely on and his hair a mess from my hands. He was ethereal. No, in this light with his shadows writhing and his veins pulsing, he was utterly demonic. If someone saw him now, they might think him the ruler of the Underworld. Just how I preferred him. My untamed and wicked beast. “Say it, Ash. Tell me you are only good for me.”
“I am only good for you,” I hummed, my words breathy and dripping with need. “And when you are naked before me, you are never to be good. I want you at your worst in here.”
Moaning, he bent down and captured my mouth with his, grinding his hips—and his hardened member—into me. Our tongues twisted around one another, Bellamy’s slowing as he began tearing off his clothes. When he was fully bare, my lips and my heart felt swollen from his attention, his light a heady thing.
“I will be anything you want, Asher. Anything, as long as I am yours above all else.” And then he was thrusting inside of me, and I was full in so many ways. His hips snapped forward again and again, his pace sending zaps of pleasure up my spine and making my lips go numb.
The next time my orgasm hit me, I found myself unable to scream. All I could do was clench around him as I moaned out, “Gods.”
“That is right, call to me. I am your god, and you are mine.”
As if to prove just how divine my pleasure could be with him in control, Bellamy brought my legs up against his chest, urging my ankles to cross behind his head with his hands before leaning forward again. The new angle brought me to the brink of madness, my mind toeing the edges of sanity. I had been there often, but this was freeing, whereas it once felt caging.
Bellamy devoured and demolished me, tearing me down and remaking me into something that was entirely his. Maybe we were even one in that moment.
When he had filled me up until I was dripping his release, I watched him pull out slowly and inspect his work. A grin stretched his face as he used his finger to attempt to force more of it inside of me. From where he knelt before me, the light of the candles and the moon outside his window cast eerie shadows upon him, reinforcing that image of him earlier. He was a fallen god, a shattered Eternity, the Underworld in living form.
I loved him so fucking much.
As always, his loving nature was impossible to deny. Soon he was sweeping me up and cleaning me in our tub. He ran his fingers through my hair, scrubbing my scalp and lathering soap within the strands. This one was not the vanilla that I preferred, but some sort of lovely combination of our scents. Vanilla and cinnamon, the barest hint of smoky undertones there in the depths.
He cleaned me, even offering me an entire tray of mint leaves to chew on as he went. Again and again, Bellamy made sure I was reminded that he knew me. There were no pieces of my shredded and blackened soul that he did not intimately understand. Not all of it came from his time learning me before we met. I often caught him watching me, even now, as if I were a puzzle that might suddenly have a single piece missing.
“You know me well,” I whispered, letting my fingers slide against his knee beneath the soapy water. Moments of serenity like that were so rare, but I thought then that we might get more if we could make it out of the war alive. If we were strong enough to survive what was to come from not only Mia, but Padon too. Bellamy and Stassi had a lot to say about him and what he would do to us all.
“As you know me. That is part of being soul bonded.” My back stiffened. Whipping around to face him, I took in his look of nerves. My mental gate shook against the onslaught of thoughts from within Pike, but it was Bellamy’s terror and love that rattled the golden lock and blood-red chains.
“What do you mean? You think we are soul bonded? Is that not a thing that the gods—I mean, high demons do?”
“We have always known it could happen to demons, but I never realized fae could experience it too. Stassi seemed to insinuate it was something that could happen to anyone. She said we were, and I am inclined to believe her. It feels…right.”
Oh it did. That incessant and infuriating tug towards him. The way it felt as if I were becoming whole the first time we had sex. How his mind and our love always tasted like home upon my tongue.
“It does not actually mean anything, Asher. We are not forced to be together. It just means our souls…they sing to one another. The idea behind it is that we are all born as half, and then we find our missing piece. Adbeel says it is not always romantic either. A friend or a youngling or a mentor can be a soul bond. Love, it is not limited in the way many think it. And you are not stripped of your free will, either. Yes, soul bonds are thought to be fate’s design, but destiny does not choose, we do. I choose you, Ash. No matter what, it is you. Do you choose me too?”
“Of course I do. You are everything, Bellamy.”
“The beginning, the end, and every moment in between?” he asked teasingly. I nodded with a chuckle, wrapping my arms around his neck. “We will have time to think more about it when this mess is over.”
“You know, I fear the moment when the war is over and life is that simple. There will come a point when no one, not even you, will need me. And I do not know what I will be then.” My whispers seem to strip Bellamy of his carefree smile, stealing his peace and replacing it with an air of seriousness.
“Free, Ash. You will be free.”