7. Chapter Seven
Chapter Seven
E very single one of Winter’s Wrath’s roadies had a joint or cigarette lit. North inhaled slowly as he approached the small group, sitting around the back of their band’s bus, clearly trying to settle their nerves. He didn’t blame them one bit, the drug test was nerve-racking—even though he’d been pretty sure he’d pass.
‘Pretty sure’ wasn’t good enough.
But the worst was over.
Ha! Not fucking likely. He swallowed hard as the young drum tech glanced up at him, his eyes filling with sympathy.
“Heard you guys took your first test.” The roadie, Derrick, held up his joint. “It gets easier, but still kinda sucks. We’re lucky we’re still allowed this.”
North nodded, taking the joint, but not bringing the fat, tightly rolled blunt to his lips right away. He rarely smoked anything because it made his throat all raw and messed with his voice. Doing it right before recording would be fucking stupid.
But he’d given up all the pills he’d normally use to keep calm in situations like this. Situations where he had to see the man he…the man he’d started caring about. A lot . More than he should have.
Getting worked up enough to need to take the edge off didn’t happen often, thank bloody hell. He’d been calculating his last slip in his head, hoping enough time had passed. He hadn’t failed the test, so he was good, but he still wouldn’t take any chances—even though more pills were only a phone call away.
A few tokes won’t hurt .
He brought the joint to his lips, drawing in long and deep, holding the smoke and… Bent over with a ragged cough, he shoved the joint back at Derrick and scowled as the roadies around them chuckled.
Tossing his long, messy-styled blond hair away from his face, Derrick took the joint and stood to pat North’s back. “Dude, not so much if you’re not used to it.” His lips curved slightly as North straightened. “If you’re looking to take the edge off, without hacking up a lung, I could help you out.”
“Yeah?” North arched a brow at the lust in Derrick’s eyes. The young drum tech hadn’t been on the last tour with Winter’s Wrath—he was a skilled drummer in his own right, but for some reason things ‘hadn’t worked out’ with the small indie band he’d gone on a trial run with.
If he’d picked up the habit of shameless flirting from…from Tate , that might explain his inability to secure the position. Winter’s Wrath might encourage him to explore his sexuality, but very few bands would.
The drum tech was cute enough. Taller than Tate, with a broader build and—and why the fuck was North comparing him to Tate? Bad enough he’d see Tate in the studio. He could use a distraction now.
“Walk with me?” Derrick’s gaze was full of eagerness and need, a bit glazed from the joint, but he clearly knew exactly what he wanted. “Won’t take long.”
Lifting his shoulders, North motioned for Derrick to lead the way. He sensed someone watching and glanced back toward XVI Hours’ tour bus, not all that surprised to see Vanessa. For a second it looked like she would come over, remind him to stay in sight. But when Derrick brought him to the far side of the warehouse, which was cut off from the street by a tall fence bordered by bushes and trees, she simply leaned against the front of the bus and folded her arms over her chest.
There was a small space between the building and the fence, enough to avoid being seen from the lot, so North didn’t resist when Derrick backed him against the brick wall. He held the other man’s gaze as Derrick drew hard on the joint, lips parting as Derrick’s covered his. Breathing in the thick smoke slowly, North relaxed as Derrick’s hand slid down his chest.
“Do you want more?”
Do I? North wished the high would hit him, give him the distance he needed to accept what Derrick was offering. The touch felt good, but still… off .
“Give me another hit.” North leaned in this time, inhaling, closing his eyes as the exchange of smoke morphed into a hungry kiss. The weed was nice, not rank like some he’d had years ago when he was just starting out in the business. Now that he focused on it a bit more, he realized the smoke had an earthy, yet citrusy scent and taste.
As the buzz slowly dulled the wrongness of the kiss and the touch, North rested his head back against the bricks, taking the joint from Derrick as the other man dropped to his knees. He took a tentative puff of the joint, fighting the urge to cough and pressing his eyes shut as Derrick freed his dick.
“Derrick, Tate needs you to come change the snare!” Jesse’s voice cut across the lot and his sharp footsteps echoed, coming toward them.
Groaning, Derrick quickly stood, retrieving the joint as North fixed his jeans.
“Later, okay?” Derrick shot North a hopeful look before ducking out of their little hiding spot.
Right. Later. North banged his head against the wall as a chill crawled up his spine. Going through the motions with any warm body had been so easy once. Had been how he’d survived . But even with the high, even with Derrick being so perfectly uncomplicated, a voice in the back of North’s mind screamed at him that he wasn’t Tate. That Tate was close. That the temporary pleasure he’d get from Derrick wouldn’t be enough to erase what he’d lost.
“Not smart, North.”
Grinding his teeth, North looked over to meet Jesse’s hard gaze. He let out a bitter laugh. “What? Fucking roadies? You really want to go there?”
Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “Careful.”
“No, I don’t think I will be. You’ve got all these rules now that you had your fun? You fucked Brave, then moved on to his brother.” North stepped up to Jesse, tossing caution over a damn cliff. “Maybe you’re not the only one who wants to fuck their way to the top.”
Grabbing the front of North’s shirt, Jesse slammed him against the wall. “Watch your fucking mou—”
Before North could brace for the hit he knew was coming, Jesse was suddenly off him, stumbling back onto the lot. Vanessa stepped in front of the Winter’s Wrath’s tour manager, shoulders squared, though her stance was relaxed.
“I’d thank you to keep your hands off my client.” Vanessa put her hands on her hips. “Not that I should have to.”
“No. You’re right.” Jesse straightened his thin leather jacket and shook his head. “I was completely out of line. I apologize.”
“Sorry enough to let me play with who I want?” North didn’t need Vanessa protecting him. She was here for Annette. And Jesse punching him would replace the distraction he’d lost. He moved to step around her, sneering at the other man. “Alder’s been looking pretty bored lately.”
Jesse’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t take the bait. Meeting Vanessa’s eyes for a moment, he inclined his head. Then turned and walked away.
Avoiding slamming into Oakley with a swift sidestep.
Great. Just great. North really didn’t want to deal with his newbie tour manager. Or Vanessa. Or anyone. He was starting to wonder why he’d even agreed to the damn tour.
“North, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Oakley inhaled sharply, pulling off the sunglasses that he’d put on at some point after leaving the bus. “If you’re stressed and lashing out because of something I’ve done, I’m sorry.”
“This has nothing to do with you. I…” North shook his head. “Just forget it.”
“I’m here to make things easier for you.” Oakley’s brow creased, as though he was trying to figure out what to say next. He glanced at Vanessa, then back at North. “If you have an issue with the crew of Winter’s Wrath, I’ll keep them away from you.”
“You gonna keep the whole band away from me?” North’s lips thinned. “Kinda hard when we’re touring together.”
“Not necessarily. Yes, today you have to work together for the recording, but there’s little need to interact on the road. I’ll work on the schedule, the set-up, to make sure you’re off the stage well before they’re ready to go on. We can make different stops.” Oakley tucked the sunglasses in the pocket of his grey vest and folded his arms over his chest, mirroring Vanessa’s stance. “The priority is making this tour as successful as possible for you and the rest of XVI Hours. To accomplish that, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
The guy seemed nice. And he was trying. Acting like an asshole to him because being anywhere near Tate fucked with North’s head would be stupid. The man probably thought North was a diva already. Like everyone did.
His actions gave them good reason. Was he really gonna fuck things up for his whole band because he was hurting? Could he be that selfish?
Probably. But they deserved better.
“I don’t need you changing things for me. The rest of the band gets along with Winter’s Wrath just fine.” North rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly freakin’ exhausted. “I’m a mess and I started shit for nothing. I’m the one who should apologize.” He made a face. “To Jesse too.”
Oakley nodded slowly. “I’m sure this is all overwhelming. We’ll adjust as needed. But maybe give it some time before you speak to Jesse again?”
“And you won’t be doing it alone.” For the first time since Oakley had arrived, Vanessa spoke up, her tone even, but hard. “Despite what you said, his response was inappropriate.”
“Naw, I knew what buttons to push.” North’s lips curved slightly as both Oakley and Vanessa stared at him. “I wanted him to hit me.”
“That’s…” Oakley blinked, rubbing his hand over his lips. “Unwise.”
“Well, no one’s ever called me wise.” North shrugged, starting across the lot, weirded out by how Oakley and Vanessa kept to either side of him, almost like he had two bodyguards. “I do stupid shit. You sure you’re getting paid enough to put up with that?”
“Absolutely not.” Oakley let out a nervous laugh at Vanessa’s glare, holding his hands up. “But it’s my job to make sure you have what you need. Perhaps find a way to tone down those urges. Would it help if I looked into… I mean if we found a… There are services that will—”
North barked out a laugh. “Are you offering to find me a hooker that’ll beat on me, Oakley?”
The tour manager went red, from the top of his ears, all the way to his neck. “Is that part of my job?”
“I should say yes, just to see you try to pull it off.” Twisted and hurt and messed up as he was, North couldn’t help like the guy. He’d decided not to because of that look before the drug test, but he could tell Oakley was sooo fucking out of his element. And making the job harder on him was cruel. “You’re not a bad guy, Oakley. And this was a good distraction. Probably better than getting my face busted in.”
“That’s…good?” Oakley looked confused. “Is there any other way I can help?”
Because making the guy blush was kinda fun, North gave him a slow smile. “Well, I was about to get my dick sucked before Jesse showed up, so—”
“ North .” Vanessa’s warning tone cut playtime short. She stepped in front of him as they slowed near the bus, standing close to Oakley, as though he was the one she was here to protect. “That’s enough.”
“You’re right. I’ll behave.” North grinned at Vanessa’s doubtful look. “Thank you. Both of you. I’m good now.”
“You sure?” Oakley followed North’s gaze as the front door of Winter’s Wrath’s bus opened and the band came out. He turned to North, understanding in his eyes as North’s jaw clenched. “This was never about Jesse. Or the roadie.”
Throat tight, North retreated so his own bus blocked his view of Winter’s Wrath. Gave himself a moment to try to remember how to breathe. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“North, are you okay?”
“No.” North pressed his eyes shut and tipped his head back, craving the cold detachment he’d held on to for so long. The walls he’d built around himself that he should have never let anyone past. He couldn’t build them up again fast enough. “But I’m gonna have to be."