23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
W hy was it Tate never slept this good when North wasn’t around? He stretched and rolled over, a lazy smile on his lips that faded when he saw the other side of the bed was empty. Rubbing his eyes, he felt for his phone on the nightstand and groaned when he saw the time. Almost four o’clock.
He’d slept a little too good.
And missed lunch, which explained why North was gone. He’d probably come back with some food soon and Tate would find a really nice way to thank him because he was fucking starving.
His phone buzzed in his hand and he lost his appetite. Jumping out of bed, he quickly checked the bathroom and the sitting area to make sure North really was gone.
Then he answered. “Hey, Ray.”
“Again, sounding absolutely thrilled to hear from me.” Ray sighed. “And I did something nice for you too. Did your band get the gifts I sent? I noticed you have a couple days to relax, so I figured I’d help you boys enjoy your downtime a bit more. Wasn’t that generous of me?”
“Gifts…?” Tate’s mouth went dry. “What kind of gifts? What the fuck did you do?”
“Is that any way to talk to me, Tate?”
Wincing, Tate shook his head, heading to the door to pull on his shoes. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just worried people will get suspicious. You know security is really high, right?”
“Which is why I addressed it to you. From your grandmother.” Ray sounded amused. “You really think I’m that stupid?”
Yes. Not that Tate would dare saying that out loud. He let out a weak laugh. “Oh…shouldn’t be a problem then. I’ll go pick it up now.”
“Good boy. Call me when you get it? I want to see your reaction.”
“Sure. I won’t be long.”
Still dressed in only the black jogging pants and white tank top he’d pulled on sometime that morning, Tate shoved his phone and key card into his pocket and ran down the hall. When one of the band’s security tried to stop him, he waved them off.
“Just going to the front desk. I’ll be right back.”
The man didn’t look happy when Tate snagged an elevator before he could reach him, but that couldn’t be helped.
Thankfully, the lady at the front desk was really helpful and recognized him right away, so him forgetting his ID wasn’t an issue. Within minutes he’d signed for the package and was on his way back up.
“See? Still in one piece.” Tate grinned when the security guard—whose name he really needed to get if he was gonna charm the guy into not ratting him out to Jesse or Ballz—rolled his eyes. “I’ll stay in my room like a good boy now, I promise.”
The guard jerked his chin at the package. “Should I be worried about that?”
“Nope. Just a treat from my grandma.”
“All right, but please let me know next time you need to leave your room. Vanessa’s in a meeting with Balthazar and asked me to extend my shift.” His stern, big-tough-guy expression faded as he looked up and down the hall. “I really need this job. Don’t fuck it up for me.”
Feeling kinda bad about stressing the guy out, Tate tucked the box under one arm and held out his hand. “You probably know already, but I’m Tate. And I’ll tell Jesse we should take you on fulltime, okay?”
That seemed to relax the man a bit. He nodded and smiled as he shook Tate’s hand. “Marvin—but please call me Locke.”
“You got it, Locke.”
Back in his room, Tate put the box on the table, called Ray, and set up the phone so Ray could watch him open it. He tore away the tape, biting his bottom lip as he pulled out three containers. One held brownies, one held cookies, and the last held red gummy bears.
He forced a smile to his lips. “This is great, Ray. Thank you.”
Walking down a familiar street, Ray brought a cigarette to his lips, breathing the smoke out as he smirked. “Try one of the cookies. I made them myself and they turned out perfect. I know how much you like them.”
Eating anything Ray made wasn’t smart, but he knew damn well Ray wouldn’t leave him alone until he had a cookie. Grabbing one, he took a big bite. Still nice and soft—probably from overnight shipping—with the familiar earthy taste of cannabis, though he doubted that was all Ray had baked into the things.
He spoke around his next mouthful. “Fucking delicious.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying them.” Ray took another drag on his cigarette. “But make sure you share. Last few pictures I saw, you guys look kinda tense. No need for that, right?”
“Nope.” Tate finished the cookie, going still when he heard the door click. “Someone’s here. I gotta go.”
“Call me back soon. I miss you, Tate. And I’m always closer than you think.”
The call ended and Tate had to fight not to throw up as North came into the room. He didn’t seem to have heard Ray’s last words, but…there was something off about him. As the door shut he took a few wobbly steps and gave Tate a smile that showed he was very drunk.
Shaking his head, Tate hurried over to grab North’s arm and lead him to the table, pulling out a chair and making him sit. “What the fuck, North? I thought you were getting lunch.”
Slumping on the table, North shook his head. “Had other stuff to do. You know me, I do stupid shit. Like drink. And let you go.”
This was bad. This was very bad. “North, we have the whole tour together. And I’m right here. Don’t think about what’ll happen later.”
“Too late.”
“Obviously.” Tate went to the mini-fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “Drink this and then I’m getting you back to bed. You’re gonna—”
He froze when he saw North had stuffed a handful of gummy bears into his mouth.
“No!” He stumbled to the table, dropping the water bottle and sweeping all the containers onto the floor. “Spit them out, North.” He groaned when North blinked at him, having already chewed and swallowed them all. “Those weren’t…damn it!”
“Whoa…you okay?” North seemed to sober a bit as Tate leaned over the table, elbows braced on it with his hands covering his face. “Just got a little drunk, Tate. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is because I don’t know what you just took.”
“The gummy bears from your grandmother?” North picked up the box and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “This is her, right? You told me about her. She was sweet to send this…” Tugging his bottom lip with his teeth, North suddenly looked guilty. “I should’ve asked if you minded sharing.”
Tears blinded Tate as he turned to North and framed his face with his hands. “Those weren’t from my grandmother. Ray sent them.”
“Ray…” North paled and latched on to Tate’s wrist. “Did you eat any?”
Pressing his eyes shut, not caring about the tears that spilled, Tate nodded. “One cookie. But I’ve had this stuff before. And I wasn’t drinking.”
With a curt nod, North rose shakily and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He didn’t make much noise, but Tate could tell he was making himself puke. His throat tightened as the silence lengthened.
Then North came out, his skin sweaty and colorless, walking more steadily, but as if all his strength had been drained. Rather than return to the table, he went to the bedroom and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. He whispered “thanks,” when Tate brought him his water.
For a long time he didn’t say anything else.
The silence was killing Tate. He’d thought he had everything under control. They’d enjoy the tour and he’d find someone else to fool around with them. Someone who could be there for North when he was gone. It was a good plan. He wouldn’t have to wonder if he’d left the man he loved completely miserable again. North wouldn’t be alone.
But seeing North take the laced gummy bears Ray had sent made one thing very clear. North being around him at all wasn’t safe. The band wasn’t safe.
He’d been fooling himself to think he could get away from Ray, even for a little bit. There was no escaping him. No point in even trying.
That was probably what Ray had meant by ‘I’m always closer than you think.’
Maybe he hadn’t sent the package on overnight shipping. Maybe he’d brought them himself. Which meant Tate had to go to him. Convince him that neither of them needed to be here.
He put his hand on North’s shoulder and pressed his lips to his hair. “I’m gonna go see if Vanessa can come check on you. You’re gonna be all right, North.”
As he crossed the room, North finally spoke up, stopping him in his tracks.
“I told her.” He lifted his head, his eyes red, cheeks glistening with tears. “Before you leave me again, you should know I told her. And Oakley.”
The whole world seemed to slow to a complete stop, leaving Tate standing there, as if he’d just stepped off a spinning ride and the ground wasn’t quite solid. Everything he’d done for months to protect Connor and North was pointless now. Ray would find out and leak the video. Their lives would be destroyed.
He wanted to be mad at North, but…he wasn’t. No matter how many different ways he tried to rationalize things in his head, one thing he didn’t question was how much North loved him. Even though Tate had ditched him in the cruelest way, even though he hadn’t contacted him for so long, the way North looked at him never changed.
And the second Tate let him in again he’d been patient and caring, everything Tate needed. He’d been ready to be a friend if nothing else. No real friend would stand by and let someone they cared about sacrifice their entire life. Tate wouldn’t if the situations were reversed.
He swallowed hard, returning to North and sitting on the bed by his side. Took his hand and laced their fingers together. “Connor could go to jail for this. So could you.”
“Again, I don’t care. Neither will he.”
“But I care. Your band will care. Annette and Ballz were terrified of what might happen to Connor the last time he was locked up.” He tipped his head back, forcing away the images of Connor losing control in jail and having his sentence lengthened, again and again. Of him being beaten by other convicts because he couldn’t help say the wrong thing. Of him dying behind bars. “He might not survive going back.”
“He did once. And I’ll be with him.” North shrugged, still staring at the gray carpeted floor. “We’ll look out for each other and pay for the choices we made. And you’ll be free.”
North spending the rest of his life in prison too wasn’t a better option. “You really expect me to trade your freedom for mine?”
Another shrug. “I don’t expect you have a choice. I told you, Ray can’t have you back. You’re mine, Tate. Not in the possessive, sick way he thinks you’re his. You’re mine in me loving you and standing by you and taking care of you, even if it pisses you off.”
“You planning to do that from prison?”
“Didn’t think that far ahead.” North’s lips quirked as he glanced over. “If it helps, Vanessa has a plan.”
The woman was smart, so maybe she’d considered ways to handle Ray that Tate hadn’t thought of? He almost got excited about the possibility.
Until he remembered North had come back drunk.
Smoothing his hand over North’s damp hair, Tate sighed. “That plan was so good, you decided to celebrate?”
North leaned into his touch, his breaths a little raspy. “No, I knew that you’d hate me. That you wouldn’t trust me anymore.” He brought his hand up to cover his mouth as he coughed. “That you’d leave me again.”
“Can’t visit you in jail if I dump you. Maybe we should get married. I’ve always wondered what conjugal visits were li— North?” The coughing had turned to wheezing. Tate’s stomach dropped as North clutched his throat, struggling to get in air. “Hold on, North. I’m gonna call someone. Breathe slow. Please, just breath…”
Snatching his phone from his pocket, he called Balthazar.
North’s whole body started shaking. Tate dropped the phone as he tried to help North lie down, crying out as North’s back arched and he made a gagging sound.
“Balthazar, I need help!” He choked back a sob, turning North on his side, hoping he was doing the right thing. “Somebody help!”