Chapter 14
Ellen called me the next morning. “Three things, very quick. One, I am going to call Jill from The New Yorker and pitch a profile, but I need your permission.”
“Okay,” I said.
“She won’t know about it. It will not be an issue.”
“Okay,” I said again. It’s amazing how people always refer to it as it.
They look at me, and I know they’re thinking about it, which makes me think about it, and then the room is supersaturated with it, and it is the only noun in the room.
Why did he let it happen? Why didn’t he tell anyone about it?
How long did it go on? Who else knew about it?
What did it involve exactly? I heard it was even happening at school.
It overwhelmed me. In a way, it made me the it.
She told me that I was naturally good with the press, and that The New Yorker almost never profiled new actors. She said we could maybe even be at the beginning of an awards push, and that Jill was perfect for the job, provided I liked her. “Yeah, she seemed fine,” I said.
“Jill’s great. Such a writer. I’ll send you her profile of Michelle Obama. I’ll get working on that. I just don’t want you to worry, okay, Kai? This is literally why I’m here. Second thing, when are you reading for Andromeda?”
“Tomorrow, I think. I don’t know; Bob hasn’t called me.”
“Great. Third thing, are you planning on going home? You’re here today obviously, and tomorrow, and then I don’t think I need you for the next eight days, so you would be welcome to go home. That is also my subtle way of saying that your stay here ends on Friday.”
“And it’s currently Wednesday?”
“It’s currently Wednesday.”
“Yeah, okay, I guess I’ll go home.”
“Great. I’ll book you a flight for Friday morning…to…?”
“New York, I guess. Or Indianapolis. I’ll get back with you on that.”
“Great. It’ll be commercial, sorry to say. First class though. I have to go now to attend an Andy Warhol Never Gets Old marketing meeting. It’s all you all the time, Kai. You can call into the meeting if you want, by the way. God knows Juniper will.”
“I’m gonna pass.”
“I love it. Beautiful. Speak soon.”
_____
I finally called my dad that morning, sitting in what I had come to think of as my tiny pool. It was really just an oversized bathtub, but it was mine, for two more days anyway. My dad picked up on the first ring. “Kai, where are you right now?”
“I’m in a hotel in California.”
“I’m fishing on the goddamned White River with Mike Curless. You remember Mike?”
“Sure, of course,” I said. “Tell Mike I said hi.”
“My son the famous actor says hi, Mike. How’s Hollywood?”
“I saw the movie, and I think it’s good.”
“Can’t wait to watch it. We’ve got our tickets to New York booked and everything, me and your mom and Emma and your brother. Your brother’s here, too. You want to say hello?”
“Yeah,” I said, although I didn’t, really. “Hey, Alex.”
“How’s Hollywood?”
“Good, I guess.”
“I can’t believe I get updates on your love life from my google alerts.”
“You do?”
“Just this morning. You’re dating that girl from the movie. June?”
I sighed. “Don’t believe everything you read.”
“She’s a cutie.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“I’d hit it,” he said.
“Good to know,” I answered.
“Christ, you don’t have to get defensive. I thought she wasn’t your girlfriend.”
“She’s not,” I said. “How’s Emma?” His wife.
“Great. We’re excited for the premiere. Emma got an outfit and everything. Hot as hell.”
“Cool, yeah, I hope you like the movie.”
“Honestly, Kai, a night out with no kids at this point and I don’t give a shit how terrible the movie is.”
“Thanks, I guess,” I said, and then he must have handed the phone back to my dad, who asked me about the weather and if I was staying at the same hotel as him in New York. “I might come home for a few days this weekend if that’s okay,” I told him.
“Home like here?”
“Home like there.”
“Well, you’re always welcome.”
I texted Ellen that I wanted to fly to Indianapolis, and then sat in my room for a while scrolling through Instagram.
Juniper texted and asked if I wanted to go to lunch.
I asked if we could just order room service, because I didn’t feel like being photographed.
She wrote back, My place or yours? with one of those ambiguous smiling emojis I couldn’t quite translate.
Emojis exist to clarify language, but the real problem is that no one actually wants to be clear.
_____
The first time I asked the social virologist if she wanted to stay over, she said, “Either way is fine, to be honest,” and I thought she meant that it was fine if we hooked up and fine if we didn’t, but what she meant was that it was fine if she stayed over after we had sex and fine if she didn’t stay over after we had sex.
And then I said, “Maybe we should wait,” and she said, “For what, marriage?” And I laughed it off, and we had sex, and she stayed over.
After she fell asleep, I got up and took a shower and barfed in the toilet for reasons that weren’t entirely clear to me.
It wasn’t like I was thinking about him so much as I knew that he was in the room, that indeed he was in every room.
And then when I finished showering and got back into bed, the social virologist rolled over and put one arm over me and said, “You smell nice.”
_____
I got up to crack the door open for Juniper and then went back to the bed, on top of the covers, pillows scrunched up behind me so I was mostly sitting.
I was scrolling through the absurdly expensive on-demand movies when she walked in without knocking and said, “Hiya.” Juniper was wearing faintly pink sweatpants and an Ariana Grande T-shirt.
“Say anything bad about Ariana Grande and I’ll fucking cut you,” she said as she leapt onto the bed and then sat down, legs crossed. She was barefoot. Her hair pulled back tight. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. “I feel very looked at,” she said.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. You can look at me. I’m looking at you.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept looking. “Can I tell you what I see?”
“Sure,” I said.
“I see my Gavinth.” I laughed and rolled my eyes. She launched forward into a hug that was also kind of a wrestling move, and I laughed and hugged her back. “We are going to have so much fun making war together.”
“Also the money,” I said.
“Also the money! So much money! Just to wear armor and pronounce place names correctly.”
“Altar of Har’koa,” I said.
“Dazar’alor,” she answered.
“Am I correct in guessing that you’ve not just read the book but also listened to all the fan podcasts and everything?”
“I have joined the official fan Discord. I was placed in a guild.”
“A guild?”
“Yes, a fan group within the fan group. It’s a lovely community. A bit overwhelming, though.”
“Awesome,” I said. “You can get me up to speed in the makeup trailer on the first day of the shoot.” Juniper smirked at me, and I thought about that emoji again.
She lay down on the bed, pulled me toward her, and raised up her phone. As she played with angles and facial expressions, I shrank away and said, “Must we?”
“It’s just for Instagram,” she said. “I mean, we are in bed together; what’s wrong with taking a picture of us in bed together?”
“Because we aren’t in bed together.” She raised her phone again, and I rolled away again.
“Can we just get the terrible part of the day over?”
I rolled back toward her and put my arm around Juniper, then smiled for the camera. Juniper took a few pictures, chose one, filtered it very subtly, then showed it to me for my approval.
“Caption?” I asked.
“I was thinking, ‘cud with my bud.’ All lowercase. ‘Cud’ as in cuddle, of course.”
“Of course,” I said.
“You think you are very special for dismissing the immense power of Instagram,” she said as she posted the picture.
“I do.”
“Let’s watch a movie.”
“Okay, but are you going to check to see how many likes the picture has every five minutes and then try to use that information to guess the approximate opening weekend numbers for Andy Warhol Never Gets Old and then tell me that I should be happy and/or sad about how well and/or poorly our movie is going to do?”
“Uggggg, Kai. First off, it’s not our movie. It’s my movie featuring you.”
“It’s Matthew’s movie featuring both of us,” I said, laughing.
“It’s Kathryn’s movie, starring Matthew, featuring me, and introducing you.
Secondly, yes, I am going to check how many likes my stupid picture got, and how many new follows it got you because I tagged you you’re welcome.
This is how I quantify my value to society, Kai. I am trying to help our movie.”
“Matthew’s movie,” I said.
“Matthew’s movie. What are we going to watch?”
“I’ve been wanting to see John Wick 2,” I said.
“People say it’s the Thinking Man’s John Wick 1,” she answered.