33. Marcus
33
Marcus
Marcus, for hell’s sake. Do it. You don’t have much time.
Puffing out a breath, I decide I’d rather chew glass. That’s probably less painful. It certainly won’t hurt anyone but me.
It’s been three days since I decided I won’t make it work with Harper. There will be no reconciliation. We won’t date, get married, or start a family. My ex is still the shady girl she has always been, and that will never change. If I can’t trust her, there’s no sense with even trying.
I’m quite sure of my conviction, yet I can’t find it within me to tell Dad. I convinced myself I’m only delaying until his next round of chemo is behind us. Or, I try to. Deep down, I know my feet are dragging because of my fear of breaking his heart.
He wants assurance that his bloodline will continue, and God knows how much I want to give that to him, but I can’t marry Harper. I certainly can’t start a family with her.
What about Lauren? If you ever consider settling down, she would be perfect, wouldn’t she?
Scoffing at the sudden thought, I put the 50-pound dumbbell down. As if I have a death wish or a desire to get my balls chopped off. I’m exaggerating, but Gabriel’s response to me asking for his sister’s hand in marriage would have the same effect. Losing his friendship would be akin to dying, trust me. Within a year or two, the Cains and Noah will be the only family I have left.
I can’t afford to fuck that up.
Sweat runs down my face, burning my eyes. Dropping my butt on the workout bench, I reach for the towel. I swipe it over my face then dab my neck and shoulders. As I drag it over my biceps, I see a brown-skinned girl sitting across the room, staring right at me. Raven, a new member of the gym. I’d noticed her eyes on me ever since she joined two weeks ago.
A month or two ago, I would’ve already swooped in, adding another notch to my bedpost. If the sex was good, I’d go back for a couple more rounds until I got bored. Then, I’d move on. She’d get frustrated and join another gym when she realized I was done with her.
Something drops hard and heavy in my gut, and I grimace. I’m not liking myself right now.
Shifting my gaze from Raven, I drop the towel back on the bench. In fact, I haven’t been liking myself very much these days. Lauren called me a coward once, and I’m inclined to believe her. It’s the only reason I’ve been ignoring her calls all week. I’d rather keep my distance than face what I feel. What I desperately want.
Raven lingers in the lobby, pretending to type something on her phone. I know she’s pretending, because from where I am, the screen isn’t even lit. She’s waiting for me. Turning down a woman is like having a limb removed, and it’s going to take some time getting used to.
Her head shoots up as I approach her. The smile on her face quickly fades, although I give her one in passing. Raven, Raven. You dodged a bullet and you don’t even realize .
I glance at my watch. A quick frap run will still give me enough time to head home and setup for the MMA finals later. Gabriel wanted to watch the game in his man cave, but I won him over by pointing out that my apartment is a woman-free zone. Noah will be joining us too.
After dropping my gym bag in the car, I head down to the café, glad for once that it’s not jampacked. Then again, I’m not surprised. It’s a Sunday morning, and half of the crowd is usually gone by ten.
Her musical laughter hits me right as I step through the door. My heart pauses. Hell . I should’ve known I couldn’t escape her for long, especially since we’re living in the same neighborhood. I feel like shit for not helping her move last weekend, although Gabriel had it covered. I didn’t trust he wouldn’t notice something weird between us. It was best that I stayed away.
Taking a deep breath while deciding on a decent explanation for avoiding her, I turn in Lauren’s direction.
And my heart pauses again.
She’s sitting cross-legged around a table by the window, one elbow resting on the surface, hand tucked under her chin, the other hand busy stirring something in a cup. She does this thing with her foot whenever she’s comfortable, bouncing it slowly. Even from where I stand, I see the sparkle in her eyes. Her entire focus is latched on an asshole who seems totally fascinated with her.
Who the fuck is this dick?
The frap forgotten, I march over. Lauren’s head swivels toward me then back to him. I’m almost at the table when she does a double-take and shoots to her feet.
“Marcus.”
My name comes out in a breathy gasp. Guilt covers her entire face, and that expression fuels the emotion inside me, one that feels suspiciously like jealousy, which is ridiculous. I have no business being jealous over my best friend’s sister.
Yet, I am.
The urge to grab her date from around the table is just as violent as the desire to beat the shit out of him just for looking at Lauren like that, like he’d take her to bed in a heartbeat if she said yes.
Or maybe she already did.
Unease fills my stomach, making me sick. Seeing red, I gesture to her. “Get your stuff. We’re going.”
“What?” She scoffs. “No.”
Blind rage nudges me forward. I close the distance between us. Our bodies almost touch. Lauren’s nostrils flare as she tilts her chin to meet my gaze defiantly. “You’re not the boss of me.”
There’s a part of me that knows I’m not thinking or acting rationally, but I don’t care. “You can either walk out willingly, or I’ll throw you over my shoulder. You choose.”
Again, she scoffs. “I don’t understand why you’re acting like this. Who died and made you my bodyguard?” She swings her finger to a man clad in full black watching us from behind dark glasses. “See? I already have one.”
“Andrew wouldn’t dare stop me from dragging you, kicking and screaming, out of here. Choose, Lauren.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“ Choose .”
Lauren gives me a long, fierce stare, then her shoulders slump. She looks over to her companion, who I’m surprised hasn’t made a move to defend her. Maybe he knows better. Good for him. He dodged a bullet. In his case, a massive beat down. I’m still pissed enough to give him one, though. The fucking nerve of him .
“Colin, I’m so sorry about this. I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” she says wearily.
So they work together. I wonder how long this has been going on.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself.” She stomps through the door as I open it, Andrew behind us. “About a dozen people witnessed you being an ass.”
“I don’t give a shit about them. I care about you.”
She snorts. “You have such a poor way of showing it. Care less, will you?”
“Don’t be cheeky.”
“I’m not cheeky.” She whips around suddenly, forcing me stop short. “I’m pissed. Why the fuck would you pull a stunt like that, especially after shutting me out for so long? You didn’t even help me move in.”
“Where did you park?”
Lauren widens her stance and folds her arms. “Answer me.”
Knowing how stubborn she can be, I look to Andrew. “Walked from the jogging trail,” he supplies.
“I’m parked down the street,” I tell him. “You’d get back to the apartment faster.”
He shrugs. “Fine by me.”
“Well, it’s not fine by me,” Lauren snaps. “I’d rather walk than have you take me home.”
“Doesn’t matter what you’d rather. It’s what’s safer. You shouldn’t be gallivanting in the open like this, not with the trial coming up.”
“They’re all in prison, genius. There’s nothing they can do, and I’m sick of you telling me what to do.” She jabs her finger at me, her expression flaring. “You don’t get to decide when it’s convenient to smother me, Marcus!”
Without a response, I walk off. Lauren growls with frustration, the angry sound following me. She soon catches up, shooting me a glare that screams how much she wants to murder me. “I’m sick of you trying to control me.”
“Then stop doing irresponsible shit,” I throw back .
“I stopped for coffee. Andrew was with me. How was that irresponsible?”
Throwing open the back passenger door of my SUV, I gesture inside. “Get in.”
“How is that irresponsible?” she repeats, not moving a muscle.
“There could be other gang members out there, Lauren. How do we know the Feds got them all?”
“Because they said so. Duh .”
I narrow my eyes at her. “You keep asking me not to treat you like a child, yet you’re acting like one.”
“Are we going or what?” Andrew asks, moving around to the front.
“Get in,” I say firmly to Lauren. She flips her middle finger at me then climbs in.
As I close her door, I glance down the street. Her date is still standing in front of the café, watching us. He gives me a cautious smile, and I turn away. I still want to kick his ass.
If I’m being honest, I’m pissed at him for being able to do something I could only dream of. Being cozy with Lauren in public. Stare deeply in her eyes. Take her hand and express how much I wish I’d been a good guy, that I’d give anything to be the type Gabriel would want her to marry.
The thought of marriage isn’t scary when I think of Lauren walking down the aisle to meet me.