51. Marcus
51
Marcus
Noah pats my shoulder. “Chin up, dude. Gabriel might be mad right now, but he doesn’t hold a grudge. You know that.”
First time for everything . I shift my focus from Lauren’s room door down to where I’m anxiously twisting my middle finger. Gabriel not inviting me inside with them was a sure sign we won’t recover from this. Since we were kids, I’ve been involved with everything concerning Lauren.
Until tonight.
“We’ll see,” I reply.
Noah pats my shoulder again and rises from the bench. My eyes follow him toward Ana standing outside another patient’s door. They’ve been broken up for years, but he never stopped loving her. Yet, he doesn’t even try to win her back. Being involved with Lauren has finally made me understand his reservation. He doesn’t deserve her love.
I don’t deserve Lauren’s, either.
The door suddenly opens again, and I quickly stand as Gabriel emerges. He doesn’t appear as furious as before, though. In fact, he looks disturbed. Tentatively, I walk up to him. “I might be pushing it, but I need to see her, even if it’s for a minute.”
Gabriel pushes up to his full height, his arms crossed on his chest. “Give me one good reason I should let you in there.”
“I risked my life to save her tonight, didn’t I?”
His brows furrow with a deep frown, but he finally shifts to let me pass. “Valid—”
“And I love her.”
The words fly from my mouth unrestrained, and Gabriel’s head jerks back.
“She’s way too good for me, but I love her.”
I brace for him to take a swing, but Gabriel rubs his temples instead. “Of course you love her,” he murmurs. “Nothing else makes fucking sense.”
A breath whooshes out of me as Gabriel sweeps his hand toward the door. “Lauren says she’s a grown ass woman ,” he mimics her voice. “So whatever happens next is on her.”
“Thanks dude. Seriously.”
“Oh, don’t thank me. I’m still going to kick your ass,” he threatens, pointing at me.
I can’t hold back the grin, although it fades as I enter Lauren’s room. She drops the TV remote, gasping then gaping at me like a fish.
“Hey.”
Her throat works as she swallows. “Hey.”
“How’s your leg?” I ask, coming to stand at the side of the bed.
“It’s fine. Ana gave me painkillers.”
“Good.” I tuck my hands in the front pocket of my pants. It’s weird, this awkwardness. I’ve never been lost for words around her. I don’t know where to start.
“Gabriel told me about Harper,” she mentions.
I guess we should start from there .
“What did he say?”
“That your dad wanted to arrange your marriage and that you’d tell me the rest.”
I pull out the nearest chair and sit down. She listens, transfixed, as I tell her the entire story, from Dad making that wish to my conversation with Harper earlier tonight. When I’m done, she stares at me incredulously.
“Why wouldn’t you just tell me?”
“It wasn’t that easy, Lauren. I was still on the fence when we first had sex. By the time Dad explained why I had to marry Harper, you and I were already too involved. I didn’t know how to break the news without causing bad blood between us. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be with Harper.”
I reach for her hand, glad when she doesn’t pull away.
“Lauren, I want to be with you. Only you .”
She releases a shuddering sigh.
“I still do.”
“Why me, Marcus?” she whispers. “Why not Harper?”
The answer comes quick and sure. “Because I love you. I’m in love with you. No one sets me on fire like you do, and no one ever will. I’m sure of that.”
Lauren gasps sharply. Her free hand clasps her chest. “Marcus, you’d be the cruelest person in the world if you don’t mean that—”
“I mean every word,” I reply fiercely, squeezing her hand. “Give me a chance to prove myself. Please.”
Silence. The tension grows thicker with every passing moment. Lauren finally rests her hand on mine, sighing again. “I don’t know if I want you to. Marcus, I’m scared. Seeing you with Harper tonight almost wrecked me, and we weren’t in that deep. I can’t imagine how I’d handle it if you went back to your old ways. ”
I stare at her glumly, a painful sensation twisting my stomach as her words sink in.
Leaning down, I kiss her hand then slowly detangle us. I can’t deny it. She just made a valid point. An old dog can’t learn new tricks, isn’t that what they say? Am I capable of change?
A tear rolls down her cheek, and I swipe it with my thumb before I kiss her forehead. She grips my wrist, pressing her forehead against mine, silently crying, breaking my heart.
“Get some rest, okay?” I mutter, turning to go before she sees my own tears.