Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
DAMON
I t’s been seven days, five hours, and thirty-two minutes, since I last saw Dottie and held her in my arms. I haven’t left my apartment since Arrie rocked up here and shattered my world further, ripping my heart from its damn cavity.
I’ve stopped calling Dottie, but I make certain to message her once a day so she knows how much I love her, and that I’m not giving up on her, or on us, but she still hasn’t replied, and it’s damn near killing me.
Grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the side table, I take a swig, grimacing when I hear the door unlock. It can only be one of three people, and I know it won’t be Dottie or Arrie.
“Get your sad sack of an ass up,” Johnny yells, causing me to groan and take another swig.
He rounds the corner with a bag in hand and stops short when he sees me.
“Fuck, you look like shit, and when was the last time you showered? You stink, wankstain.”
I flip him the bird and take another sip, causing him to heave out a deep sigh.
“Damon, this isn’t what Dottie would want.”
Anger surfaces once more, and I point the bottle at him, and it swishes around before spilling from the top. “Don’t you tell me what Dorothy would want, when she hasn’t had the decency to explain!”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Damon! We know exactly what happened.
That ex of yours threatened to have you charged with statutory rape, by lodging a false claim to her boyfriend, who is a fucking cop.
Whether Shane would have believed her or not, is not the real issue we have here is it?
Dottie left to save your ass, and to protect you and Arrie from Kerry-Anne’s vengeful wrath. ”
“She didn’t give me a choice,” I slur. “I would have given up everything for her because I fucking love her!”
Johnny sighs, pushes his hand through his messy blonde bun and levels me with a stare, his tattooed muscles flexing with the motion and I can’t help noticing how put together he looks, compared to how I currently feel.
“And that’s exactly why she made the choice she did.
You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and although Arrie is pissed at you now, she will come around because she loves you, too.
I’m not sure of the reasoning Dottie has for staying away, given Kerry seems to have taken a step back whether for Arrie or not, it doesn’t matter.
All I know is I think that girl needs some space, and you have to give it to her if you plan on getting her back. ”
Swallowing, heat prickles my eyes and a tear falls free.
“I love her so fucking much, Johnny, it physically hurts,” I declare, banging my chest where my heart is.
“I know, believe me I know, but let me help you like you’ve helped me so many times before.”
His voice catches at the end, and I know he’s reliving a piece of his dark past. With one eye closed, I look at my best friend of over thirty years, and see three of him, but I can’t help noting the genuineness in his tone, detecting how much he wants to be here for me, to save me from my fucking self, like I’ve done for him countless times before.
I’m lucky he’s still standing here and not six feet under, but I refuse to focus on that right now. He’s here and that’s all that matters.
“I don’t want to live a life without Dottie and Arrie, Johnny.” I say, deflecting.
“I know, but you have to know that you won’t.”
My ears prick up at that.
“What do you mean?”
“Well first, we are going to work on cleaning your sorry ass up, starting with a shave and a fucking shower, because you look like you should be in the morgue, and then we will discuss how we are going to get your girl back and your daughter. So, move your ass.”
Johnny helps me toward the bathroom. We stumble a few times, laughing, but Johnny catches us and keeps us moving forward.
When we finally make it there, my best-friend sits me on the toilet and steps back. “Stay.”
“Fuck you, asshole,” I growl, wobbling on the toilet and flipping him off.
The room starts to spin, so I close my eyes, but it only makes the space spin faster. Grumbling, I stagger off the toilet, lift the lid and empty the entire contents of my stomach into the bowl, hearing Johnny’s laughter from my room.
“Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Bow to that porcelain god, oh fallen one.”
“Fuck. You!” I managed between heaves and gags.
It only makes him laugh louder, the fucker.
After what feels like days, I’m finally able to move my sorry ass from hugging the toilet bowl on the floor. It takes a couple of attempts, but once I’m upright, I feel a little more myself.
Flushing the toilet, I stumble toward the basin and bend down, splashing cold water on my face. When I stand upright, I groan at what I see. I am a fucking hot mess, and not the good type either.
“You done, precious?”
“I hate you!”
Johnny chuckles.
Silently flipping him off, I drag myself to the shower to try and wash away this hangover and the longing for Dottie and the relationship I spent years building with Arrie, but as the water hits my back, I know it’s fruitless.
After I’ve cleaned myself up, Johnny and I sit over coffee, making a plan of attack. Kerry-Anne won’t have a leg to stand on once the judge sees the prenup.
What scares me is what she said to the girls, but something tells me she’s hesitating for a reason.
Everyone knows she’s been dating the cop she cheated on me with, on and off for years, and he’s been here his entire life, so he knows the entire town and all their dark pasts, so why hasn’t she pulled the pin and sung like a canary?
Nursing a hangover like I am, and trying to work through the labyrinth of fuckery, is testing my limits that’s for sure. I don’t know what step to take first, my mind is clouded by Dottie.
“Earth to, wankstain. You going to call your daughter?”
Snapping out of my inner commentary, I look to Johnny to find him smirking.
“You thinking of her again?”
“When am I not?”
“You got it bad, huh?”
“Come on, dickwad. I had you set up a damn picnic in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, just so I could surprise her.”
Johnny chuckles.
“Yeah, you still owe me for that. Do you know what time I had to wake up to do that in time for your little romp? It’s not human to be awake at that time,” he says, shivering as if he’s remembering some bad memory.
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Stop deflecting.”
I sigh.
“I’ll call Arrie tomorrow.”
Johnny raises a blonde brow.
“What?”
“You’re being a pussy.”
I know he’s right, but I will never admit it aloud, especially to him. The shit I said to Arrie was horrible, and I’m disgusted I allowed my emotions to rule me like they had. I lost control. Again.
“Look at me, Johnny, I can’t look her in the eye like this and apologise. I feel and look like shit, not to mention, I’m not ready.”
“Ready for what?”
I hesitate for a moment but sigh in resignation.
“I said some shit I shouldn’t have. And dealing with my daughter while I have the hangover from hell, is not on my to-do- list today, alright?”
Johnny smothers a laugh with his fist.
“Have I told you to fuck off today?”
“Multiple times, but I am not going anywhere.”
The smile that comes is easy. He’s my best-friend, and we’ve always been there for each other, but right now I think I need to sleep this off so I can wake up tomorrow with some kind of purpose .
Because at this very moment, all I want to do is crawl up in a ball, cry myself to sleep, and then maybe never wake. Yeah, I’m being dramatic, but I’ve lost two of the three people I really care about, and I hate how out of control I’m feeling.
“I think I’m going to eat something and go to sleep.”
Johnny rears back like I’ve slapped him.
“What?”
“It’s only six pm!” he exclaims.
“And?”
“It’s. Six. PM. Damon.”
“Like I said… and? ”
“You are ridiculous. What happened to my best-friend?” he says with a smirk on his face and backing up. “That’s right, he got pussy whipped.”
I reach for the remote on the table and hurl it at him, but of course it misses him, hitting the doorframe, with his laughter echoing behind him.
“See you tomorrow, princess. We have a big day!”
The front door closes, and I sag in relief. Glancing down at the remote, I shake my head, but I can’t help the small smile that plays at the corner of my lips. He’s such a prick.
Pushing off the lounge, I collect the remote and batteries off the ground, fix them into place, and throw the remote onto the lounge. Yawning, I stretch and head to the kitchen to grab some water and ibuprofen. Swallowing the pills down, I drag myself to the room, sighing when I see my bed.
Peeling off my clothes, I flop on the bed and roll to the side. Dottie’s side . Releasing a heavy breath, I grab her pillow and bring it to my nose, inhaling. Her scent still lingers, but it’s not as strong and it makes me feel panicked.
I can’t live without her. I. Just. Can’t.
Rolling over, I grab my phone and move to our message thread. I flick through for a few minutes, tears collecting in my eyes, hating that Johnny was right. I am pussy whipped, but this isn’t a phase, this is my forever after.
Scrolling to the bottom, I start typing out a message. I delete it at least ten times before I finally settle on something simple. Swallowing, I look at it once more before pressing send.
I wait for the read signal to come up; but it doesn’t. Deflating, I exit out of the message, hating how vulnerable and helpless I feel. I reach again for her pillow, bring it to my chest, and cuddle it with my eyes fluttering closed.
Her pretty violet eyes form in my mind, followed by her killer smile and intoxicating laugh. It sends a warm balm over my body, and the last thing I remember before I allow sleep to take me is, I will get my woman back, if it is the last thing I fucking do.