7. Chapter 7
NATALIE
My lips cracked into a smile. This morning would be different, maybe a little awkward. But suddenly, Alex was hovering over me, his phones brightness hitting my eyes. He still looked handsome, even with his face twisted in disbelief.
What is this? His voice was cold and distant.
I squinted at the phone. Emilys words hit me, and my heart dropped. How did that get to him?
Did you paint this?
I jolted up quickly, took a deep breath, and began to explain. Alex, this was after that first night.
You painted me nude without my knowledge?
You were asleep when I took the picture.
Obviously." His eyes narrowed. What were you planning to do with it? Blackmail me into getting money? Because that is clearly what Carla has done ahead of you.
I shook my head, waiting for the right words to calm him. Its not like that, Alex. My voice was barely a whisper because my throat was dry. After that night, I was confused. I didnt know what to do. I thought you would use it against me.
Use what against you, Natalie? He scoffed. Did I come off that bad for you to do this?
His eyes flickered with confusion. Reaching out to hold his hand was a bad idea because he shook it off like I was a leper.
Alex, that was my first time. Tears began to stream down from my eyes as I spoke, but there was barely liquid in my parched throat. It was not the right time to grab the glass of water from the bed stand.
I lost my virginity to you, and I didnt know how to deal with the feelings I had. His gaze on me softened, but he didnt try to wipe my tears.
I thought you would throw it all in my face or dispose of me like it didnt matter. And that was my only way to sort and control my turmoil.
For a while, he was silent. The moment was as tense as the lines on his forehead from frowning.
A naked portrait was never the way. Its not control. Its a weapon.
I cringed and swallowed hard, but he was not done. Please leave. I need space. I was wrong. All you women are the same.
Alex, Im sorry. I wiped my tears, convinced that now was no time to settle. I would let him process his feelings. I didnt mean to hurt you.
I shut the door behind me, the sound pushing me to realize I may have just lost the most stable thing in my life.
Two hours later, I was curled under my duvet, a phone in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. I cried my eyes out, explaining what had happened to Emily.
Girl, I told you this would blow up. Why dont you come by the house?
I sniffed. "Is Richard going to be there?
No, Nat. Hes not even in town. How about a girls night?
Thanks, Em. I dont know what I would do without you.
You survive.
The night out was a great distraction, an escape from the chaos. We met at her place and played dress-up, with Emily picking a form-fitting dress and me opting for a casual top with dark jeans. Then, we took a cab downtown to the buzzing area of nightlife and neon lights.
We picked a cozy bar near the roadside where we could easily hail a cab if we got drunk. And we certainly did. For every colorful cocktail, we each shared a crazy memory of us.
Our conversation became more candid as the drinks flowed and our speech slurred. Emily did not forget to tease me; I tried to deflect with humor each time.
So, of you two, who will call first? Her voice was gentle but loud enough for me to hear above the music.
Doesnt seem like he will anytime soon. I sighed and sipped my cocktail. I ruined everything.
No, you did not. You were just scared.
I should have listened to you.
Yeah, youre right on that one. She chuckled. But its not as bad as I predicted. So, something can be done.
He doesnt believe me. My eyes teared up, so I gulped my drink to hold it in. It didnt work. The floodgate was open.
No, no, no. There are no tears over here. You are better than this, Nat.
No, Im not, I disagreed. I was new to matters of the heart, but I did not have to crumble this soon.
For starters, that family dinner, dont back out of that. Go there and show him you still care.
My insides churned as the alcohol hit my empty stomach, laid bare on account of my grief. "Im not sure I can face him, Em. I feel horrible.
Exactly why you will face him. Tell him that.
Emily was rightshe always was. After she texted someone, her head dropped lazily on the table, and I laughed. You are drunk.
We needed to get home, but I could barely feel my legs. So, I grabbed my phone and texted the one person who could appear as a knight in armor before falling on the table next to Emily.
Fifteen minutes later, a man scooped me up from the chair. I smiled in recognition. "You came?
Yes, I did. His voice sounded clipped, unlike what I was used to. I waved it off as an alcohol effect. I was in a rom-com and wanted to enjoy every bit of it.
I reached for his neck with both arms and inhaled his cologne. Emily?
Shes in the car.
Thanks, love. I didnt think youd come.
As we reached the door, we bumped into a figure. I knew this man from somewhere but was too drunk in another mans arms for pleasantries. So, I let my knight continue: I know you are mad at me, and I understand. It wont happen again, love.
Being drunk had numerous downsides, one of which was the inability to recognize people. The figure at the door rushed back to us and forcefully drew my knight back.
Hey man, thats my girl.
Who would claim to me that possessively? I laughed and retorted, Hes my man, you jerk! Lets go, Alex.
Natalie? he called out, and the familiar voice snapped me out of drunk delusion.
Alex? So, who was carrying me? By now, Id made it into the cars back seat. I looked out the window and saw Richard. How did he get here?
Our car zoomed off before I could fix the pieces in my head, leaving a dumbfounded Alex.
Richard? Why did you not stop me? Thats Alex.
Youre drunk, Natalie. Lets get you home. You can speak to Alex tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is falling onto Emilys guest room bed. Everything faded out.
The day of the dinner finally arrived. As usual, I was at Emilys, but this time, I picked a dress for myself, reaching for a simple black silk dress with shaky hands.
But it didnt feel right; the air around me was thick and heavy, and the room blurred.
Somehow, I suddenly teleported to a hallway. Alex stood at the end, his face cold and distant. My throat tightened in fear of what would come.
The nude portrait flashed in my eyes as he began to speak, his voice accusing. But his lips never parted. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but I couldnt talk.
Suddenly, I began to fall into an abyss. I jolted awake to the sound of Emilys voice from the next room. I grabbed my phone to check the date and time.
It was just a dream, but the bold text message on my screen told me I had woken up to reality.