Chapter 42 #2
The truth hit hard, stripping Liam bare. He was Jacob’s. No distance between them could sever the soul-deep certainty that he would always belong to him. That he would always be drawn back to the inexorable pull of his presence.
Jacob’s thumb brushed along his jaw, lingering there like he couldn’t quite let go. Then, with a final, shuddering breath, he stepped back and pressed the button, jolting the elevator back to life.
“I’ll let you go tonight,” Jacob said quietly, though the rough edge in his voice betrayed how much it cost him. “Not because I want to, but because I know you’ll hate yourself if I don’t. But this isn’t over.”
The elevator shuddered to a stop at their floor, the doors sliding open with a soft chime. Jacob walked out without looking back, leaving the scent of his cologne and the echo of his confession hanging in the air.
* * *
Back in his hotel room, Liam stood in the shower until the water turned cold, numbing his skin but not the turmoil underneath. He scrubbed his hands raw, desperate to erase the feel of Jacob, but some things couldn’t be washed away.
It had taken every ounce of restraint not to follow him to his room, crawl into his bed, and surrender completely. It wasn’t just Jacob’s body he yearned for, but the peace he brought to his restless mind. The sense of safety and belonging he’d never known with anyone else.
When he finally collapsed onto his mattress, the sheets felt foreign, chilled in a way that made the bed seem far too empty. He lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, his heart racing like he was still in the elevator.
The vibration on the nightstand startled him back to the real world. Emma had texted a photo of Nora asleep on her chest. The caption read: We’re doing okay. Hope press is going well.
He stared at the photo until his eyes burned and Emma and the baby blurred into something unrecognizable. He replied with a single red heart—a hollow gesture, cowardice dressed up as affection.
His phone buzzed again, but this time he didn’t look. He didn’t want to see Nora’s face right now. Not with Jacob still on his tongue.
He rolled onto his side, clutching the pillow tight, whispering into the dark as though it might guard his secret.
“I need him. I can’t breathe without him.”
The words scraped out of him—a truth that hollowed his chest and left only the ache behind. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt like this. He pressed his face into the pillow, but the next words rose anyway.
“I will always need him.”
He should’ve kept those thoughts to himself and buried them like he buried everything else. Instead, his hand reached for his phone.
Cassie picked up on the second ring, her voice groggy and suspicious. “If this isn’t about blood or fire, Liam, I swear to God—”
“I love him,” Liam said.
Silence.
His throat worked, the confession tearing free. “I’ve been sleeping with him. It’s not… it wasn’t just once.”
“Jesus, Liam.”
He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead, eyes stinging. “I kept telling myself it would pass. That it was just a phase. A mistake. But it’s not. It never passes. It’s still there and it only gets stronger.” He swallowed, his chest heaving. “Fuck, I can’t get over him.”
Cassie exhaled, not shocked, just resigned. “Yeah. I figured.”
His head snapped up. “You figured?”
“I’ve seen how you talk about him,” she said gently. “Even when you don’t mean to. You don’t talk like that about someone you don’t care about.”
He dropped his head into his hand, fingers gripping hard at his hair. “Do you hate me?” he whispered.
“No.” Her voice was steady. “I hate that you’ve been carrying this alone. I hate that you’ve been killing yourself with it instead of letting someone in.”
His throat closed. “It’s not something I can say out loud. Not to Emma. Not to anyone.”
“You just did.”
He laughed hoarsely. “Yeah. At two in the morning. When I couldn’t stand being in my own head anymore.”
“That’s when the truth comes out,” she said softly. “When it’s too heavy to hold by yourself.”
He didn’t answer.
“Liam,” Cassie said after a beat. “What do you want?”
The words gutted him, but he forced them out anyway. “I want him.”
“Then what are you still doing?”
A sound tore out of him, too close to a sob to be anything else. “Trying not to destroy the people I love.”
“You’re destroying yourself. That counts too.”
Cassie didn’t fill the silence with platitudes. She didn’t say he was noble or that he was doing the right thing. She let the sorrow hang there until it pressed down on him like truth.
She sighed quietly before she continued.
“I can’t tell you what to do. But I’ll tell you this—loving someone doesn’t go away just because you want it to.
You can run from it, you can bury it, you can hate yourself for it, but it’s still there when you wake up the next day.
So maybe stop asking how to kill it, and start asking how to live with it. ”
“I don’t know how,” he whispered.
“I know,” she said. “But you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’m here, no matter what happens next.”
For the first time since returning to his room, his chest eased, air slipping through the tightness. It wasn’t peace or clarity, but it was enough to keep him breathing.