18. Carlisle
18
Carlisle
B en drives through the streets of Austin while I watch the car’s navigation screen. As the minutes to our estimated arrival time decrease, my nervousness increases dramatically.
I’m going home with a guy who I’ve only known for a few weeks.
It feels absolutely insane and reckless, but it also feels right. More right than anything else in my life currently. But my life is kind of a shitshow, so that’s not saying much.
Since his invitation, Ben hasn’t clued me in on his family problems, though he has alluded to them on several occasions. Given my own complicated family relations, I’m not one to judge, but I am curious as to what I'm about to step into.
Ben pulls the rented SUV into the driveway of a large, older suburban home in a nice neighborhood in northwest Austin. Built before the days of cookie-cutter housing developments, the homes in this area are older but kept up nicely. They’re set back far from the roads and situated on large, tree-filled lots granting the homeowners privacy and space. Ben’s parents’ house is a two-story, lime-washed brick colonial with charcoal shutters, charming window boxes full of greenery, and a dark red front door. It has an inviting, homey feeling to it .
Turning off the ignition, Ben remains seated in the car. He blows out a slow breath and then shoots me a pained smile. “I haven’t been upfront as to why I don’t visit Austin much. I should have told you sooner, but I was afraid you’d back out if you knew the full story. Truthfully, it’s a topic of conversation that I avoid because it's painful.”
I grab his hand and thread my fingers through his. “Ben, you know my family is a mess. It’s okay.” He raises my hand to his lips and kisses my fingers.
Movement outside catches my eye, pulling my attention away from Ben. An attractive older woman wearing an apron over her clothes is standing on the large front porch with the front door ajar behind her. She’s watching us intently but doesn’t move toward our car, as if she recognizes that Ben needs a moment.
I nod my head to the front of the house. “Looks like the full story will have to wait. I think your mom is waiting for us.”
Turning his head, Ben waves to her while muttering, “Shit.” Facing me again, the words quickly tumble out of his mouth. “I’ll tell you everything as soon as we’re alone. Whatever happens… just go with it for now. And brace yourself, it’ll be awkward AF.”
“Do people actually say awkward AF? I thought that was just something you use in text. Shouldn’t you just say it’ll be awkward as fuck?” I joke, wanting to lessen the tension.
One side of Ben’s mouth tilts up. “Have you been talking to Jo? She always tells me that I say things that I’m not supposed to. But fine. It will be awkward as fuck. Better?”
“Much,” I wink.
“You’ve been warned. ”
Ben takes another deep breath, and with the enthusiasm of a soldier going into battle, he trudges toward his mother. I follow slightly behind him, granting him and his mom a private moment.
While Ben may not be excited to be home, the same cannot be said for his mother. He drops our carry-on suitcases onto the front porch, and she launches herself into his arms for a bear hug. Size-wise, they are opposites. She is as petite as he is large.
“It’s so good to see you, Ben. I've missed you.” Stepping from the embrace, Mrs. Sutton holds out both her hands to me.
Gracelessly, I grab them, unsure of what she wants from me, but she quickly pulls me in for a hug as well. Despite being strangers, I happily sink into her embrace, after having been starved of motherly affection for years.
“You must be Carlisle. Thank you for coming.” She links her arm through mine and pulls me inside the house leaving Ben to trail behind us with our bags. “Ben didn’t tell me much about you, so you’ll have to fill me in. You live in LA too, right? How long have you two been dating? How did y’all meet?”
“Christ, the Spanish have nothing on you, Mom. Stop with the inquisition." His teasing, mischievous tone removes the weight from his words, but his next words shoot an arrow through my heart. "Carlisle and I are just friends.”
Just friends?
Remembering Ben’s earlier request to roll with it, I slap a smile on my face and glance at Ben. The banal expression on his face gives nothing away.
I guess being an actor comes in handy in these types of situations.
Walking into the house, the interior is an extension of the cheerful exterior. Just inside the front door is the living room, decorated in shades of blue and white. Dark wood antiques are scattered throughout the space, in pleasant contrast to the pale upholstered furniture and the ornately patterned rug.
“Just friends, huh?”
A feminine, sultry voice coming from my left startles me, and I spin towards it. An exotic woman stands at the foot of the stairs, her eyes trained on Ben, as if they are the only two people in the room. She’s tall and willowy, and while she’s very striking, there is something unpleasantly sharp about her features.
I don’t know who she is or why she’s standing in his parents’ home like she owns the place, but my hackles rise immediately. Without any reason other than intuition, I instinctively don’t like her.
“Oh, there you are, Kelsey. I didn’t realize that y’all had arrived already. Come meet Ben’s friend, Carlisle.” Ben’s mother motions for Kelsey to join us.
Kelsey glides across the floor with the grace of a prima ballerina dancing a solo, knowing that all the attention is on her and loving every second of it. An insincere smile is affixed to her face as she stops in front of me.
“Carlisle, is it? I’m Kelsey, Cole’s wife.”
Ben never mentioned his brother having a wife, but I have the impression that there’s a heck of a lot that Ben has omitted. Per usual.
The air is thick with unspoken conflict and tension. I don’t understand the dynamics at play, but I sense how complicated they are.
“It’s nice to meet you, Kelsey,” I reply, surprising myself at how even and friendly my voice sounds.
“Is it? I wish I could say the same,” she sneers, lifting her eyebrows. She purses her lips in a slight pout and directs her next words towards Ben. “I’m guessing you haven’t told her about our history then. Maybe you really are just friends. ”
Behind me, I hear Ben breathing slowly and deeply, like he’s trying to maintain control over his emotions. When I sneak a peek, his face is cold and expressionless.
Kelsey openly scans me up and down. The downturn of her mouth makes it apparent that she finds me lacking. Waving her hand through the air in my general direction, she wrinkles her nose in distaste. “She doesn’t really look like your type, Ben. You can do better.”
Ben’s mother apologizes to me and admonishes Kelsey to mind her manners.
I stand frozen, dumbfounded at Kelsey’s blatantly hostile, dismissive attitude towards me. I might not be as affected as I am if her words didn’t pierce my armor, but like a psychic, Kelsey has voiced my own fears aloud.
I’m not glamorous or uniquely beautiful. I'm not the type of woman you'd expect a movie star to date. It would be easy for Ben to find someone far prettier and more sophisticated than me.
Ben looks as if he’s about to say something, but he closes his mouth and stays quiet.
I hate how quickly Kelsey has me questioning my worthiness and Ben’s attraction to me.
And I hate it even more that Ben does nothing to defend me.
Unperturbed, Kelsey saunters to Ben’s side and brushes a quick kiss on his cheek before seductively drawing her fingers lightly down his face to his neck.
“Don’t start this shit now, Kelsey,” Ben replies tersely in a tone I’ve never heard him use before, batting her hand down. “Where’s your husband? Shouldn’t he be keeping you on a leash?”
SOS, I repeat, SOS. We need to escape this situation that seems quickly headed towards unmitigated disaster .
Interjecting quickly, I exclaim, “Mrs. Sutton, where should I put my things? I’d love a moment to unpack. Thank you again for having me.” I lean in to give Ben’s mom another quick hug before turning to Ben. “Ben, help me with my bag please?” Without waiting for his response, I grab his arm and tug him along behind me.
Once in the guest room upstairs, I quietly close the door behind Ben.
“What nuclear bomb is about to blow up between you and your awful sister-in-law?” I hiss, trying to keep my voice down. “Why was she flirting with you? What history was she talking about? And why was she such a bitch to me?”
Taking me by surprise, Ben laughs before rubbing his face with his hands. “Thank you.”
“For what exactly? Though I now have a better understanding of why you needed me as a buffer. Was your brother’s wife really flirting with you or is she like that with everyone? What history?” I repeat, needing answers to my questions.
Ben sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me down beside him. He plays with his watchband for a couple of seconds, biding his time and gathering his words.
“How did you know she’s an awful person?” He looks over at me, his face open and curious.
I shoot him a disbelieving look. “Uh, she didn’t exactly try to hide it, Ben.”
“Well, we dated for a year before I figured it out.” Stunned at his statement, I sit still as Ben lies back on the bed and puts his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling fan slowly revolving rather than making eye contact with me.
“Hold up! You and Kelsey dated? "
This is information that absolutely should have been disclosed ahead of time.
“Yep.”
"But now she’s… married to your brother?” I can’t keep the incredulity out of my voice.
“Unfortunately,” he affirms. “Before she became Cole’s wife, she was my girlfriend.”
“Oh. My. God.” I lie down on the bed next to him as I digest that nugget of ghastly information. “Talk about toxic,” I mutter with a frown.
“Yeah, it was toxic. We started as a one-night stand that just never ended. She treated our whole relationship like a yo-yo, pulling me in and then pushing me away. It was a never-ending cycle of highs and lows. The lows sucked, but the highs were so powerful that I put up with a lot of shit that I shouldn't have. I got stuck in this addictive cycle with her. I swore we were done so many times, but she’d always manage to reel me back in.”
“Okay, so she’s the absolute worst, but can you fast forward to the part where she marries your brother?” I scoff, “Your brother!”
“Patience is a virtue, Carlisle.” Ben grins briefly at my exasperation. “One night, Kelsey accused me of flirting with an actress while we were at a party. As usual, we argued, she got mad, and then she stormed out. I didn’t hear from her for over a week.
"What I didn’t know was that she’d called Cole to pick her up from the party and she cried on his shoulder. His answer was to take her to a bar so that she could drown her sorrows. Together, they got drunk and ended up having sex. Of course, the following week, Kelsey and I got back together again, like we always did, but she and Cole kept seeing each other on the side .
“It was a huge power trip for her to be playing us both, pitting us against each other. She and Cole had always been friendly. He had a way of calming her down and keeping her crazy at bay. At the time, I appreciated that my brother and my girlfriend got along so well.” Ben barks out a sarcastic laugh. “But it all came tumbling down when I found out she was pregnant.”
“Holy shit, I did not see that coming.” My eyebrows shoot upwards at Ben’s latest revelation. I feel like I’m listening to an episode of a daytime soap opera.
“Yeah, me either,” Ben agrees with a snort. Running his hand through his hair, he continues. “She told me the baby was mine. She cut ties with Cole at that point, figuring it would be better to have a rising Hollywood actor as her baby daddy than a construction contractor. But Kelsey and I had broken up enough times that I had a nagging suspicion that the baby may not be mine, so I told her that my lawyers were requiring a DNA test before setting up a trust account for her and the baby. She balked at first, but access to my money was enough incentive to consent to the DNA test.” Shaking his head at the obviously painful and traumatic memories, he closes his eyes briefly as he regains his composure. “When the geneticist called and informed me that I wasn’t the father, I wasn’t shocked. I’d prepared myself mentally for that possibility… but when the geneticist further explained that I was very closely related to the father, I felt like the floor fell out from underneath me. I sure as shit had not prepared myself for the possibility that my brother fathered my girlfriend’s baby.”
Forget my earlier soap opera analogy. This shit is straight up Jerry Springer .
“I’m so sorry that they both put you through that, Ben. You didn’t deserve to be betrayed like that. By either of them.” I reach for his hand and hold it tightly. His trust issues make sense to me now. “Wow. So, they got married? And they have a kid? I mean, I know it’s just a child, but is it… the spawn of Satan?” I quickly add, “No offense.”
Smiling, Ben shakes his head. “None taken. I don’t really know Duke, my nephew. Since Cole and Kelsey got married, I’ve only visited Austin once, shortly after Duke was born. According to my parents, he’s a great kid. He’s the reason Cole and Kelsey got married and the reason why my parents put up with Kelsey. They love Duke and don’t want to do anything to jeopardize their relationship with him.”
“Kelsey’s a total shrew. How did you date her for so long? You are such a kind, decent person. I don’t get it.” I seriously cannot reconcile the Ben I know with a guy who would willingly date that vile woman.
“I spent a lot of time in therapy discussing that same question.” Ben pauses. “She's manipulative and adept at hiding who she really is. Admittedly, I fell for the pretty face, and I didn’t really dig deep enough to see past the facade that she presented."
I put some pieces of the puzzle together. "Which explains why you wanted to get to know my personality over the phone. And why you were leery of telling me who you were at first."
Ben nods. "She and Cole did a number on my ability to trust. But my relationship with Kelsey did teach me one thing. I know what qualities I’m looking for in someone, what qualities are important in a partner.” Twisting on the bed, he turns his body towards mine and lifts our still linked hands to his chest, just above his heart. “Seeing you in the same room with her… God, it put everything in perspective. It became so crystal clear that I want to be with you, not someone like Kelsey.”
“Then why did you tell your mom that we were only friends?” My voice is barely louder than a whisper. "Why didn't you stand up for me?"
“I’m sorry about that. ”
“If you told them we were more than friends, Kelsey may back off and not flirt with you.”
“Believe me, she’d flirt even more, and she’d be even ruder to you. If I give her any clue that there’s something romantic between us, she’ll feel threatened and lash out. I know it sucks, but it’s safer to keep up the pretense that we’re friends while we’re around my family. The less knowledge Kelsey has regarding my private life, the less power she has over us. I know it didn't seem like I was standing up for you, but I really was trying to protect you.”
“I really hate that bitch,” I mutter through gritted teeth, earning me another chuckle from Ben.
“You know, we’ve never really discussed past relationships before.” Ben’s eyes hold mine, his vulnerability close to the surface after sharing his pain with me. “Tell me about yours.”
“My past is pretty typical." I shrug. "I had a few high school boyfriends, only one of them was serious. We broke up when we went to different colleges. Then at Ole Miss, I met Matt the first week of my freshman year, and we dated for two years. We were in love, and everything was great between us while life was smooth sailing. But we were young and immature. It was hard on our relationship when I had to deal with my mom’s illness and death and then when I caught my dad cheating—"
Ben interrupts me, his brow furrowing. “Wait, you caught your dad cheating?”
I pause to draw a breath and nod slowly. “Yeah. I walked in on him and Monica having sex one day while my mom was at chemo. Instead of accompanying my mom to the hospital, my dad invited his mistress over so he could fuck her on my mom’s living room couch. And then after I saw them, my dad coerced me into keeping his affair a secret from my mom. ”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I wish. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to lie to my mom, but it would have crushed her if she’d found out." I glance up at Ben timidly, fearful that he may judge me, like I judge myself, for not being honest with my mom. I still feel an exorbitant amount of guilt about it. But when my gaze flicks to his, I see only compassion reflected in them. "It was wrong to conceal the truth, but I did it for the right reasons. I didn’t do it to protect my dad, I did it to protect my mom. She died just a few months later. I hate myself for keeping his secret, but what good would have come from me telling my mom?”
“You were put in an impossible situation, Carlisle.” The kindness and concern in his words brings tears to my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. “God, you were just a kid. What kind of father does that to his child?”
“A shitty one,” I murmur. “Anyway, Matt supported me and loved me through all that, but I was pretty much a mess, especially when I found out that my dad was marrying his mistress because she was pregnant. It was too much for Matt to handle and by the beginning of our junior year, we’d drifted apart. When I discovered that he was seeing someone else, I wasn’t shocked, but I was disheartened that he opted to cheat on me rather than just breaking up.” I shrug to downplay the feelings of loss and betrayal that these memories still bring up. “After that, I’ve dated here and there, but nothing serious.”
“I’m sorry, babe.” Ben scoots closer to me on the bed, pulling me into his chest. “You went through so much in such a short period of time.”
"You did too, by the sounds of it."
"Another thing we have in common. "
Before he can continue, there’s a knock on the guest room door and Ben releases me and springs up from the bed. Hastily, I sit up too, grateful for the reprieve from the emotional conversation.
The door swings open and a tall, strapping man walks through it. I can see exactly where Ben gets his good looks. While his mom is fair and tiny, his dad is tall and muscular with the same olive complexion as Ben. The family resemblance is undeniable between father and son.
“Dad, hey.” Ben embraces his dad in the typical man hug—a hard embrace followed by a single clap on the back before quickly releasing their holds on one another.
“You’ve made your mom happier than a tick on a hemorrhoid by coming home. I know the shit hit the fan between you and Cole, but you can’t stay away like that again.” Switching his focus to me, he holds out his large hand to shake mine. “You must be Carlisle. I hear that I have you to thank for getting my son back to Texas.”
I smile politely. “I think you’re overstating the power I have over your son, sir.”
“Regardless, we’re mighty glad you’re both here.” He huffs out a short sigh. “Sorry about the She-Devil. Heard you already had a run-in with her.”
Ben’s dad’s gruff, upfront demeanor is endearing, and I have a very difficult time suppressing the urge to laugh at his frank, open dislike for his daughter-in-law. Especially since I share his opinion. Instead, I smash my lips together and merely nod. Ben catches my eye and cracks a lopsided grin.
“You’re right, Dad. And I’m sorry that I don’t visit often. I thought I was doing everyone a favor by staying gone, but being back, I already realize how much I missed y’all.” Ben hesitates a few seconds before clarifying, “Or at least you and Mom. ”
“Damn straight, son. Now get cleaned up and go downstairs. Your mom’s expecting you to help her prepare the food for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow now that you know how to cook. What was that awful movie you made called again?”
Rolling his eyes, Ben mutters, “ The Family Kitchen .”
Snapping his fingers and pointing at Ben, his dad continues, “That’s the one. Terrible movie, son, but at least you learned how to cook.”
I can’t hold in my laughter anymore. It just rolls out of me. “It really wasn’t Ben’s best work, was it, Mr. Sutton?”
Ben narrows his eyes at me. “Seriously, how much time have you been spending with Jo?” He throws up his hands. “Shut it both of you. It wasn’t that bad.”
“You know I don’t pussyfoot around, son. You’re a few beans short of a bean burrito if you don’t believe it was a shit movie. Now get downstairs and help your mother.”
With that, Ben’s dad turns and leaves us alone again. As soon as the door shuts behind him, I whirl towards Ben with a big smile on my face. “Umm, is it weird if I tell you that I really like your dad? He’s hilarious.” I pause, chuckling, “I mean, happier than a tick on a hemorrhoid. A few beans short of a bean burrito. Who says those things?”
Knocking my shoulder with his, Ben teases, “Just so long as you don’t like him more than you like me, it’s fine. As you now know, I have issues with family members stealing my girl.”