Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Ethan
Fuck. I don’t know why I did that.
No, that’s a lie—I know exactly why I did it.
I gave in to the urge that’s been bubbling inside me since I saw the fear in his eyes on the plane.
It made me feel like a prized asshole because I forgot what it was like to fly for the first time—the nerves, the anxiety at every strange sound—and when you add that first turbulence experience, it’s no wonder he was nervous.
Flying is so common in my life, with traveling for away games and visiting Mom, that it didn’t occur to me how Jacob would take it.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how his hand felt in mine, holding on tight, even while he was asleep. Like I was his anchor in a storm, and he was afraid to let go.
So, seeing him lying there, so peacefully, so relaxed, did something crazy to the stupid organ in my chest. But kissing him was a foolish move on my part.
Rubbing my face with my hands, I head to my room and distract myself by unpacking my suitcase before taking a quick shower to get rid of the plane stench.
Knowing my mom, she’ll be here any minute.
She normally gives me an hour to sort myself out before she rushes over, and thankfully, she’s stocked up the fridge and pantry, so I put a record on and start preparing lunch.
No more than five minutes later, I hear the telltale sound of the front door opening and closing and my mom’s voice filtering down the hall.
“There he is!” She practically skips across the kitchen, reaching up on tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too, Mom.” I return her hug, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
Her face lights up. “You’ve got a boyfriend?”
I roll my eyes, snorting a laugh. “Well, not exactly.”
She gasps. Her hands fly to her face, and her eyes fill with joy.
“Before you get any ideas, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s a good friend of mine who agreed to play the part of my boyfriend for the wedding.”
She frowns, dropping her hands to her sides. “What do you mean, play the part ?”
I don’t answer her right away. I busy myself by making her a cup of coffee and carrying it over to where she’s taken a seat at the kitchen island. I can feel her glare burning the back of my head the entire time.
“I met Jacob at the start of the year. His brother, Alex, is dating Blaine. You’ll see for yourself when you meet him, but there’s something about Jacob that just…draws me in. He’s fun and charismatic, but when we first met, it was like his light was dimmed by debt.”
A look of understanding and sympathy washes over her.
“He owns a bakery. It’s quite successful now—it was the one where we filmed with the team earlier this year—but you know how it is with start-up businesses. He was barely keeping his head above water, so I offered to help.”
I don’t need to say any more, because Mom knows. She leans over, patting my hand, an appreciative smile on her lips.
“You’ve always been a caregiver, Ethan. Look at the times you took on any job you could, even with school and hockey, just to help me out. I don’t want you to ever change, but…are you being careful about this?”
I don’t know how I managed it when I was a teen, but I found a way because I hated seeing Mom work all the time. Being the paper boy or mowing the neighbors’ lawn was the least I could do.
“We have a contract,” I clarify. “He was adamant that we did it officially, so we’re both protected. All his debt has been paid off, and he pays me a certain amount each month—not that I need it back, but just seeing him smile has been…” I trail off, shaking my head.
“Oh, Ethan. That’s such a lovely thing to do.”
I glance out the window, trying to ignore the swelling in my chest under my mom’s praise.
“So, how did the fake boyfriend thing come about?” she asks, taking a sip of her coffee.
A groan escapes me. “A few of the boys turned up at my apartment because I kinda went into hiding after the season ended. They demanded to come inside—you know what they’re like—and I ended up mentioning how I didn’t really want to come to the wedding.”
“It was Blaine’s idea, wasn’t it?” She grins.
She never met the guys. I don’t really know why I’ve kept my two worlds separate, and it hits me that she only knows about them from what I’ve told her.
She’s been the only constant in my life since I was a kid.
The only one who hasn’t given up on me, who supported me through every up and down.
It’s like I don’t want to share her with anyone else in case she’s taken away from me too.
But for some reason, I didn’t get that feeling in my gut with Jacob.
The need for him to be here with me was so much greater than my fears, and that’s terrifying in and of itself.
“You bet it was.” I laugh. “He thought it would be good for both of us, but more so for Jacob, because he deserves a break. Up until Christmas, he was often working sixteen-hour days, seven days a week. As soon as I found out, I wanted to?—”
“Do everything you can to help.” Mom smiles, but it’s hinted with sadness. She barely made ends meet up until I was drafted, when I gave her everything I got from signing with the Thunder. She can relate to Jacob’s struggles more than anyone.
I nod.
Mom takes another sip of her coffee, eyeing me over the top of her cup, her curious eyes never leaving me. “I’ve gotta say, I think this is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done. ”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I frown.
“You don’t exactly trust easily, darling.
You keep everyone at arm’s length because, that way, you’re the one in control.
They’re close enough to feel like they’re part of your life, but never close enough to hurt you.
So, Jacob must be quite special for you to bring him over.
You haven’t even brought your own teammates to visit before. ”
Needing to avoid my mom’s quizzical gaze, I get up and continue dicing the vegetables I was preparing before she got here.
I don’t really know what to say.
My teammates are the closest thing I have to family aside from my mom, and it’s not like I don’t want them here. Maybe I’m afraid of bringing them to the only place that’s truly been just mine, letting them see this side of my life, and facing their rejection.
Jacob is the first guest I’ve had, and I want to take care of him. I want him to want for nothing.
I turn toward the door at the sound of soft footsteps on the stairs.
Jacob appears looking fresh-faced. His dark blond hair is damp and slicked back from his face, and my gaze travels over his body.
His gray t-shirt hugs his slim torso while baby-blue pajama shorts showcase his smooth, hairless legs, and my eyes land on the ruby-red painted toenails that pop against his fair skin.
He’s so fucking beautiful, it hurts.
Immediately retrieving another cup from the cupboard, I set it under the coffee machine for him. “Hey. How did you sleep?”
“Amazingly, thank you! That bed is incredible. I think I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.” He beams, but his eyes go wide when he spots my mom. “Oh, hello! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He walks over to my mom and holds out his hand. “I’m Jacob; you must be Jennifer.”
My mom’s eyes light up, a wide smile taking over her face. She takes his hand, a bright smile on her lips. “Indeed, I am. Welcome, Jacob; I’m delighted to meet you.”
I slide Jacob’s cup of coffee across the island, where he sits next to my mom, talking animatedly about his first flight experience, while Mom keeps sneaking glances at me.
Leaning back against the counter, I listen to them talk and laugh. The sight of them getting along so well causes a pang in my heart. Is this what it could be like if I lower my defenses? Spending the off-season with my mom and a boyfriend?
Except when I think of the word boyfriend , all I see is Jacob.
Fuck.
I can’t think like this. I can’t let my heart distract me from what I need to focus on.
As if sensing my thoughts, Mom gives me a knowing wink.
A couple of hours later, after we’ve finished lunch, I wave goodbye to Mom with the promise to see her tomorrow and head back into the kitchen to finish loading the dishwasher.
Everything stops, though, when I find Jacob bent over, loading the plates into the tray.
His pajama shorts have risen up, exposing the soft curve of his ass.
My cock twitches at the sight of those two perky globes on display, and when I catch a glimpse of thin lace straps framing the bottom of his cheeks, I swallow a groan .
“Jacob, it’s okay, I can do that.” I manage to find my words, but my voice comes out like gravel.
He stands upright, an easygoing smile on his lips. “It’s no bother; you cooked lunch. It’s the least I can do.”
I open my mouth to argue, but he crouches down again, and those damn shorts go up his crease. Would it be irrational of me to ban shorts in this house? Or better yet, to demand he keep them off at all times so I can take a look without the fabric obstructing my view?
I need to distract myself before I do something stupid, like bend him over the counter and rip off those shorts.
“I’m gonna head to the gym,” I grumble and leave without waiting for an answer.
I change into a pair of gym shorts and forgo a t-shirt. British summers tend to be humid, and I need to sweat out the primal desire to claim Jacob like I’m some wild animal, so it’s best I wear as little as possible.
Sliding open the patio doors to let in some air, I put on a playlist and begin my warm-up routine. When it comes to the off-season, I don’t go as hard as I normally would, but it’s still important I keep up my level of fitness.
When I’m finished with my warm-up, I move to the pull-up bar, watching my form in the floor-to-ceiling mirror that spans the length of the wall. It’s only then that I allow my mind to drift.
I often wonder what it would be like to just be .
To act on my wants without fear of rejection.
To knock down my walls and live in the moment.
To act on the attraction that has been burning up inside me for months on end.
The rational part of my brain knows it’s ridiculous and I’m wasting time allowing the past to impact my here and now .
But the past…still hurts.
“Fuck,” I grunt, baring my teeth as my muscles cry from fatigue. My feet hit the floor after the final pull-up, and I quickly grab the towel to wipe my face.
When I look in the mirror, I see Jacob standing at the door, eyes wide. He doesn't realize I can see him as he takes me in, his teeth trailing over his bottom lip.
Taking advantage of the moment, I allow myself to gaze at his body again. When my eyes land on his shorts, the evidence of his arousal is clear as day. Sure enough, my own cock swells despite my exhaustion, leaving me slightly lightheaded as all my blood rushes south.
I run the towel across my bare chest in a slow, teasing move, wiping away the beads of sweat caught in the dark hairs, enjoying as he follows my movements and watching him stare at the bulge in my own shorts.
“Like what you see, Jacob?” I growl.
Jacob’s eyes lock with mine, and when he realizes he’s been caught, the apples of his cheeks flush a deep pink. I don’t miss the hitch in his breath. His mouth opens, then closes again. His throat works as he swallows, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip.
“I…uh…I…” he stammers.
I take a step forward, but before I can get close enough to touch him, he turns around and quickly disappears, and all I can do is watch his retreating ass in those fucking shorts.
I don’t know how I’m going to be able to control myself or my attraction for him—protective walls be damned.