Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jacob
“Am I doing this right?” Ethan asks, holding his flour-dusted hands up.
I peer around him to look at the dough he’s been mixing to make Elliot’s favorite cookies ahead of Blaine and Elliot’s birthday get-together tonight.
We decided to close the bakery today so Alex could focus on getting everything ready and so I could use the kitchen with no interruptions to make the selection of cakes I will be bringing with me.
As Ethan got Elliot and a sweet dish in the random generator Alex created, he spent all of yesterday in a slightly stressed state over what to do, until I suggested making his favorite cookies.
He looked at me, completely perplexed, but I reassured him I would help him. It took some convincing, as he didn’t want to rely on me to help him when I had to make the cakes, but I promised it wouldn’t be a bother.
“Yeah, that looks fine. Just make sure the chocolate pieces are spread evenly throughout.”
He grunts, pouring more crushed-up M&M’s into the mixing bowl.
I shake my head, grinning.
Over the past two weeks, we’ve settled into a relaxed routine.
On the nights I’m working late, he lets himself into my house and gets dinner ready for when I get home, and when I have days off, I stay at his downtown apartment.
We’ve gone on double dates with Alex and Blaine and slowly weaved our lives together.
Ethan’s been gradually lowering his guard every day. I can still sense it’s difficult for him at times, especially when he’s spent the majority of his life being a vault, but his actions tell me how he feels.
He’s so kind and attentive, that he doesn’t need to tell me with words how he feels.
As I place the sponge cakes on a cooling rack, I get to work mixing up the cupcake batter when I hear a knock on the door.
I lift my head, looking over to Ethan. “Did you hear that?”
He looks over his shoulder and takes a step toward the door. His brows lift in surprise.
“It's Zach,” he announces.
Wait…What? He’s supposed to be in Denver for at least another month. Worry prickles in my stomach.
“Go let him in.”
Ethan disappears. I hear the jingle of the bell above the door and the muffled sound of voices. Zach appears, looking a little worse for wear. Dark circles emphasize his tired-looking eyes. Tendrils of long, dark hair have escaped his bun.
“Hey, Jacob,” Zach says, smiling weakly.
“Hey!” I round the counter, wiping my hands on a cloth, before giving him a hug. “I’m surprised to see you back so soon. I thought you were spending the summer in Denver.”
His shoulders drop as his entire demeanor shifts. “Yeah, I…uh…I had to come back earlier.”
Ethan’s back stiffens. “Did something happen with you and Carter?”
I slide one of the stools across the floor and motion for him to sit down. Ethan crosses his arms over his chest, his jaw ticking as annoyance flares in his eyes as he leans back against the counter opposite.
Zach lets out a heavy sigh. I notice the skin around his nails is red, like he’s been biting them anxiously.
“Me and Carter…Well, you know we’ve been best friends and inseparable since I was six.
I guess you could say we’re kinda…codependent.
I know it’s bad. I don’t really know how to live without him in my life, but…
” He takes in a deep, shuddery breath, and when he looks up, his eyes are filled with so much heartbreak that I feel the ache in my own chest. “I’m in love with him, and I’ve made my peace with it.
I’ve always known he didn’t feel the same and that he won’t.
I told myself it would be fine, that as long as I could still have him in my life, I would get over it.
But I haven’t. I don’t think I can, and I don’t think I can sit by and watch as he meets other people anymore. ”
“Oh, Zach.” I wrap my arms around him. His head falls onto my shoulder, and I’m engulfed in one of his lovely big hugs.
I stroke my hand in soothing circles on his back. I catch Ethan’s eye over the top of his head, a mix of anger and sympathy written on his face.
“Have you thought about telling him?” I whisper.
I feel him shake his head, his words mumbled against the fabric of my t-shirt. “No. I can’t. If I tell him and he gets mad, I could lose him completely.”
I squeeze him a little tighter.
“I don’t think you would lose him, Zach. You two have been thick as thieves for so long. What if you told him and he feels the same?” Ethan suggests.
Zach looks up, but remains silent.
“I nearly lost this guy because I was too afraid to put my heart on the line.” Ethan places a hand on my shoulder. “It’s fucking terrifying, but it worked out. I think you should talk to him. He can’t do anything about it if he doesn’t know.”
A smile spreads across my lips as Zach eases out of my hold. His light blue eyes dart between us before landing back on Ethan. “You did it then?”
“Did what?” Ethan asks.
“You finally pulled your head out of your ass and admitted you have feelings for Jacob.”
Ethan groans. “Fuck you and Jackson for saying the same thing.” He gives him the double bird. “Yes, I did pull my head out of my ass, thank you very much.”
I let go of Zach and wrap my arms around Ethan’s waist, resting my chin on his pec as I peer up at him. “He’s alright. I might keep him.”
Zach snorts a laugh, and Ethan shakes his head, tsking under his breath, but his lips quiver as he tries to hide his smile.
I turn back to face Zach. “Seriously though, Zach, talk to him.”
“I will.” He nods solemnly. “But not today. Will you help me make something for the twins?”
“Of course.” I give Ethan a quick kiss, then turn back to Zach. “How about donuts?”
“Better make some extra for me, I’ve missed your donuts so much.”
“What the fuck is this?” Blaine points to the expansive cheeseboard in Adam Kendrick’s hands.
He’s been quizzing every person as soon as they walk through the door as to why they brought the food they did and the meaning behind it, but Kendrick’s might be the best one yet.
The wooden board is filled with blocks of various cheeses, along with chopped apples and red grapes, and a selection of crackers.
“A cheeseboard,” Kendrick says with a roll of his eyes. “Duh!”
“I gathered that, Einstein,” Blaine drawls sarcastically. “But why a cheeseboard?”
Kendrick snorts. “Because, my dude, you’re the cheesiest fucking sap I’ve ever met. You’re cheesier than The Cheesecake Factory.”
“They don’t technically sell cheese there,” I point out, chuckling, as I take the wooden board from him .
“Semantics.” Kendrick waves me off before slapping Blaine’s shoulder.
“The point is, Blaine, my bro, you are a major simp for Alex. You’ve turned into a walking gouda, so it’s only appropriate to bring the dish that resembles you best.” He moves to stand beside me and does jazz hands at the cheeseboard. “Ta-da! Cheese!”
Blaine rolls his eyes, irritated, and flips his teammate off, but his mouth betrays him, the corners of his lips kicking up in a small smile.
Kendrick puts Blaine in a headlock, and the two of them begin to wrestle like children, so I quickly sidestep before they can knock the board out of my hands and place it on the kitchen counter next to the other dishes.
“He was so pleased with himself for this.” Kendrick’s wife, Maria, laughs, pinching a grape from one of the containers.
“I think it might be the best one yet,” I admit.
She grins, then holds out her hand. “I’m Maria, that idiot’s wife.” She jerks her head in Kendrick’s direction. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you from Alex, but I’ve never seen you at a game. We’ll have to change that.”
I shake her hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, too, and thank you for everything you’ve done for Alex. I know it means the world to him.”
At the start of the year, Alex received a high number of unpleasant messages from “fans” who weren’t happy that Blaine was off the market.
Thankfully, Maria understood exactly what he was going through, having experienced it firsthand, and became a beacon of support for him.
They’ve since become good friends, and I’ve been looking forward to meeting her thanks to all the great things Alex has said about her.
“You haven’t seen me at a game because I’m not that much of a hockey fan, to be honest. I doubt you ever will.” I laugh, shaking my head.
Although I would go if Ethan asked me to.
“What?” she gasps, holding her chest mockingly. “I’m kidding. It’s fairly common for significant others not to attend games.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I search for Ethan, and his eyes are already locked on me in a possessive stare as he listens to Peyton. My heart races at the sight of him.
My big, grumpy, gorgeous man.
Maria takes a step forward, placing her hand on my arm.
“I’ve never seen Ethan look at someone the way he’s looking at you. The only time I’ve seen a look remotely similar was when they won the Cup. But that face?” She juts her chin in his direction and lowers her voice, winking at me. “That’s the face of a man in love.”
Is he in love with me?
We haven’t said those three little words yet, but I can’t deny that I’m stupidly, head over heels in love with him. I think I’ve been in love with him since he talked to the two robins in his backyard in England.
Talking to them as if they were my parents. Helping me find comfort and being there for me while I pushed through it.
“Have you met everyone?” she asks.
Giving Maria my full attention again, I shake my head. “I’ve met some previously, but not all of them. I’ve been a little busy so far making sure Alex doesn’t have anything to worry about.”
“Let’s change that.”
She takes my hand and leads me through the group of people. She introduces me to a few of Ethan’s teammates and their wives and girlfriends and Blaine’s agent, Hayden. Then she points at Jonathan Peyton, who gives a goofy grin and wiggles his fingers in a wave.
Ethan rolls his eyes and shoves him.