21. Killian
Killian
T he past couple of weeks have been a dream I never want to wake up from.
Maddox is officially my boyfriend.
I asked him point-blank the other day, and he gave me a look that said he obviously was. I should have known, really. He’s never getting rid of me now with how we’ve been seeing each other almost every day, making out, and making each other come.
Maddox and I spend almost all our free time together. He even lets me hang out in his room on most days when he’s studying—I mean, yeah, I’m not allowed to speak to him, but he seems to like my presence, and I’ll take that as a win.
I’ve lucked out because he makes everything else easier. It’s been a rough month with back-to-back games at the end of our season. We unfortunately didn’t make it to our conference’s championships, but our year’s been good enough that we were invited to regionals anyway.
Fucking regionals. It’d be the best way to end my college career. I’m excited as hell, though the pressure of it is getting to me—and that’s without Dad hounding me the entire time.
Dad called me once while I was in Maddox’s room. In his usual fashion, Dad went on and on about how I have to do my best in regionals, and that if I messed up, that’d be the end of my hockey career—and since I have little going for me, I should make the best of it.
Yup. He said that. It got on my nerves because it’s the first time the team’s headed to regionals in years, and instead of being more supportive, he’s pressuring me. Or maybe this is his way of being supportive? By pushing me? I’ve given up trying to understand his intentions.
I zoned out and started humming a song in my head until Maddox caught on that I was having another unpleasant conversation with Dad. Right after I hung up, he went on a rant about how he’d probably go off on Dad if he had a chance, because that’s apparently no way to talk to your own kid.
My pint-sized boyfriend has guts, and I love it.
He makes me feel as if I’m on top of the world.
I think I’m an improved version of myself because of him.
For example, I was so determined to pass my last statistics exam because he promised to suck me off if I got a good grade.
When Professor Wheeler gave us back our exams and I saw I aced it, I almost jumped up and yanked Maddox out of the lecture hall—though, well, I held back. Because, manners.
I can’t stop gushing about him. I think my teammates would put a gag order on me if they could.
“Hey, Schultz,” Walters says from the other side of the locker room. “You coming to the party tonight?”
“Nope!” I yell back. “I’ve got a date with Maddox.”
Well, not really. He’s got a paper to finish and said I could hang out in his room if I wanted to while he worked on it.
“Ugh,” Caleb mumbles from beside me where he’s taking his gear off. I give him an impish grin.
“You said you were okay with us dating,” I remind him.
“Doesn’t mean I want to hear about it.”
Despite his animosity, I’m confident he’s accepted that Maddox and I are together. I mean, he only checked me into the boards harder than necessary two times today. A part of me thought he’d give me a much harder time, especially now that I know exactly why Maddox is wary of jocks.
Speaking of…
“Walters!” I call out. “Stop letting Ulrich into your parties. He’s bad news.”
Caleb gnashes his teeth and his head snaps up. I spot Rhys and Nick turning their attention to us as well.
Eyebrows crunching together, Walters cocks his head. “Viktor Ulrich from Hartley? Why?”
“Because he’s an asshole,” I say simply.
“Schultz,” Rhys grunts, scrubbing a hand over his face.
I ignore Rhys. More heads turn to me, and I ignore them as well.
After a beat of silence, the frown on Walters deepens. “He’s dating our president’s sister. I can’t just tell him not to come to our parties.”
“I don’t fucking care who he’s dating! I swear to god I’ll beat him to a pulp if I see him at your place again.”
Walters grimaces. “What’s going on?”
“He—”
Caleb knocks his elbow against mine, interrupting me. He’s shaking his knee so strongly that the bench is vibrating. Caleb says, voice low, “Don’t. Maddox won’t be happy if everyone on the team finds out the shit he’s been through.”
Oh.
Oops.
He’s right, and I should have known that.
Sheepishly, I rub the back of my neck and let out an awkward laugh. Nodding, I murmur, “Sorry, got carried away.” I look back at Walters and raise my voice again. “He… was an ass to a friend at your party last weekend. Loud and drunk, and talking shit. It’s not a good idea to have him around.”
Walters chews on his cheek, eyes darting around the room. “Okay,” he says. “Yeah… I know what you mean. He can be kind of difficult, sometimes. I’ll ask around and see what I can do, though… man, Schultz, you’re really putting me in a difficult place right now. ”
Good enough for me. I grin at Walters. “Appreciate you, buddy.”
Grunting, Walters turns away, and the usual chatter of the locker room returns as everyone pulls their attention away from me. I cross my arms and lean back, frowning.
I didn’t think that through. All I know is that I never want to see Ulrich again.
A shadow passes by me as Nick approaches Caleb. He runs his fingers through Caleb’s sweaty blond hair, and Caleb closes his eyes and leans into it.
“Relax,” Nick says, and Caleb grunts. He lets out a breath, though, and stops shaking his knee. Smiling, Nick gives me a look. “Is Maddox coming to regionals, Schultz? If he needs a ride, Isaac and Archer are also going.”
“Good question. I haven’t asked him. Hey, Jennings. Does Maddox go to away games? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him at one.”
“Nope,” Caleb scoffs. “He hates them.”
“He would go for me,” I say with confidence. Then I pause. “Right?”
He lets out a wheeze. “Definitely not.”
My jaw drops.
“Caleb’s teasing.” Nick chuckles and runs his fingers through Caleb’s hair again.
With the smug way Caleb smirks at me, though, my confidence is shattered.
Damn this guy. I thought he had my back, but this simple conversation is enough to make me panic. I narrow my eyes at him, but that only makes Caleb laugh.
It’s cool, though.
If Maddox doesn’t usually go to away games, it’s probably only because nobody’s convinced him yet.
** *
I head to Maddox’s dorm right after practice, though he’s so engrossed in his work I don’t think it’d matter if I weren’t even in the room.
And that’s saying something, considering I’ve got my arms around him, legs caging him in, as he hunches over his laptop and focuses on his work. We’re on his bed, me leaning against the headboard with Maddox’s back to my chest. Watching him is what keeps me from being bored.
Maddox is so zoned in that when his phone lights up with a few texts from an unregistered number, he only frowns at it before flipping it over, the screen face-down.
He mumbles something under his breath about spammers, then goes back to his work.
I stifle a laugh, wondering if he’d react the same if it were my name.
I’m half-tempted to send him a text right now, even if I’m behind him.
He chews on his lower lip when he’s focused. It’s really cute. Sometimes, when he’s deep in thought, he leans back against my shoulder and taps his fingers against my thighs. I’m trying not to distract him too much, resisting the urge to nuzzle his neck and put my face in his hair.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve been quiet for the last fifteen minutes, and I know that’s earned me a reward.
I run my fingers through his hair. “Maddox?”
He says nothing, simply continues tapping into his laptop.
“Maddox?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to come to regionals?” I ask.
He continues typing, and I’m not even sure if he’s paying attention.
“It’s in Albany, and the first game’s on Thursday.
I need to take the team bus, but you can hitch a ride with Archer and Isaac.
Archer is Rhys’s older brother, and Isaac is Archer’s roommate.
He’s also the head coach of the bantam team I volunteer with.
You should have seen him a few times by now. ”
“Hmm.” He continues to type, but then after a long moment, he mumbles, “I don’t go to away games, especially not when they’re that far. I’d have to miss some classes. ”
“Yeah, but it’s a really important one, and I’d like it if you were there.”
“I’ll think about it.” He pats my cheek lightly and goes back to his work.
I peer over his shoulder—there are red marks all over his document where Professor Wheeler left comments, and he’s got about a dozen other tabs open in his browser.
He mumbles, “Now please be quiet for a bit. I’m almost done. ”
Nope. I’ll think about it is not good enough. I really, really want him to be at that away game. I need him to be there.
“Maddox.”
He ignores me.
Laughing, I slip a hand under his shirt and splay it flat against his stomach. His muscles contract under my hold, but otherwise he doesn’t react. “Maddox? Please go.”
Pain colors his voice. “Killian, please. I need to finish this by today.”
“Babe, please?”
He makes a strong attempt at pretending I’m not around, but since I’ve already forced him to take a break, I don’t want to wait again.
I say his name and run a hand across his stomach once more, the tips of my fingers sliding just below the waistband of his shorts—and it’s barely there, but I feel the way his shoulders stiffen.
Oh, despite his stubbornness, me touching him affects him. I’m going to have fun with that.
Maddox elbows me, but it’s weak and I barely feel it.
I laugh in his ear and that makes him chuckle, and I put my other hand under his shirt, too, exploring.
With one hand, I play with his waistband, fingers trailing along the spot right above his groin.
My other hand lightly grazes his pecs, nails scraping his skin, and he leans his head back against my shoulder once more.