Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cash
What I remember most about that afternoon is the sun. In all my memories, it’s still blindingly bright, scorching half the infield, while the other half sits in shadow. If I shut my eyes, I’m still at third base, when the crack of the bat rings out sharp and clear across the stadium. The crowd roars, and I sprint toward the foul line, spikes grinding against the dirt. All instinct. No thought.
The ball hangs in the air, a taunting white beacon against blue sky.
I know it’s going to land just shy of the stands. Reachable, but only if I push myself to the brink. So I leap with everything I’ve got, stretching out, flying toward the catch. My glove brushes the ball as my chest slams into the top of the unpadded wall.
And my spine snaps.
Pain explodes throughout my body—sharp and electric—radiating along my back as I fall. The world tilts, a jarring kaleidoscope of white clouds, green grass, and blurry faces. My breath comes in short, panicked gasps, but nothing else moves. Not my arms. Not my legs .
The noise of the crowd is muffled, like I’ve been plunged underwater. The sun keeps blazing, hot against my skin, as I lie there, trapped in the sudden, terrifying silence of my own frozen body.
Four years later, as I steel myself to tell all this to Nori, I find myself fighting the flood of emotions with everything I have.
“I used to play baseball,” I say out loud, my voice weighed down by stones. “Correction. I always played. I’m pretty sure my dad shoved a glove on my hand before I could walk. I was on the roster of the top club teams. Had the best private coaches. My parents even built a batting cage in our backyard. Our family ate, slept, and breathed baseball. I played in college, got drafted to the minors. All my father ever wanted was for me to be a third baseman for the Cambridge Black-Caps.”
“ All he ever wanted?” Nori’s brow lifts. “That sounds like a pretty tall order.”
“Yeah.” I hitch my shoulders. “He never made it past the minor leagues himself. Neither did my brother. So I was their last hope. I think the best moment of my dad’s life was the day I got called up. And all our blood, sweat, and tears were suddenly worthwhile, you know? That was the dream. Our dream.”
“So what happened?” Nori asks, her eyes searching my face. They’re so open and vulnerable. She’s showed me hers. I owe her mine.
“I got hurt,” I say. “Bad. Bad enough that the docs weren’t sure they could put me back together again.”
Nori tips her chin. “But they did?”
I press out a small laugh. “They had to bring in all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, but I’m good now. And I ended up selling the stuff that’s in my spine to the kind of doctors who fixed me. So that’s even better.” I take a beat. “ My only problem now is I can’t ride a mountain bike. But that ended up working out for you, didn’t it? So.” I cock my head. “Bright side.”
I wait for Nori to smile or blink or something but her eyes stay steady on mine. She’s witnessing more of me than I usually let anyone else see. Like she pointed out.
We’re a whole hand now.
“That must have been really hard,” she says at last.
“It’s still hard.” I shrug. “You don’t lose your entire identity and your fiancée without some fallout.”
“Fiancée?” Nori’s eyes pop wide.
Aww, man.
I got so caught up in the moment, feeling connected to Nori, I forgot she knows almost nothing about the rest of my past. “Yeah, I was engaged for a while,” I say, grimacing. “But the marriage didn’t take. She dropped the ring on my nightstand a few weeks before the wedding and left for greener pastures.” I squint across the couch, a little squeamish. “It was a long time ago.”
And the truth is, it’s partly my fault, I think.
I never stopped to question Daphne’s motives. Never doubted her sincerity when she started pursuing me. She was beautiful and sweet. She said all the right stuff. I wanted to believe I was her hero. Her everything. So yeah, I fell hard and fast. Put a diamond on her finger even faster. I was after the kind of fairytale love story my parents had kept alive for thirty years.
As it turned out, all Daphne cared about was hooking her star to a pro athlete.
Once the doctors told me I’d never play again, my commitment wasn’t enough. She wasn’t just after the money. She wanted something I couldn’t offer her. Fortune and fame. Her last name on a jersey. A seat among the wives and girlfriends. Millions of followers on her IG account .
Apparently, a medical sales representative for Powell MedTech couldn’t give her that.
“It still bothers you,” Nori says. Her gaze is soft with sympathy.
“A little.” I rub at my chin. “But honestly, I don’t dwell on the losses anymore. As soon as I could walk again, I left all that in the rearview and moved on to where I am now.”
“You built a wall,” she says.
“A big old wall,” I chuckle. “But I don’t talk about it. Ever. So consider this a one-time deal … because you talked first.”
Nori adjusts her position on the couch, nudging her leg farther under her body. “You sound a lot like my brother,” she says. “East is an expert at compartmentalizing and making the best of a horrible situation.”
“I like the guy already.” I hike up a corner of my mouth to show just how totally over the past I am. “Sure, things sucked for a while, but then they got better. And I ended up here. No regrets.”
She falls quiet for a moment, then she says, “There is one difference between you and East.”
“What’s that?”
“He had Becca.” Nori looks away, sipping what appears to be the last of her cocoa based on the tilt of her mug.
“You’re right. I didn’t end up with a wife.”
Nori brings her gaze back to mine. “Has there been anyone since then?”
“No one serious after Daphne.” I wrinkle my nose, pretending my insides aren’t starting to ache. “I can’t do my job and do justice to a big-hearted woman. And I’d never be interested in a woman with a small heart, so that sort of leaves me at a standstill.”
She nods. Slowly. “Bad news for womankind, but good for the future spine patients who’ll benefit from your dedication? ”
My mouth goes crooked. “You said it. Not me.”
“So what’s the new goal, then?” She tips her chin. “If it’s not the big leagues, or a fairytale romance, are you just after being the best sales rep Central Massachusetts has ever seen?”
“Bigger,” I say, shifting on the couch, wondering how much to share. “I’ve got my sights on a territory in LA, actually. The hospitals there have some of the best spine surgeons in the world.”
“We don’t have great doctors here?”
“Of course, but I’m targeting a few who specialize in scoliosis.”
“That’s mostly treating kids, right?”
“Yep. I want to work with the best of the best, to do the best I can for kids.”
“Wow.” Nori exhales. “That’s a lot of bests.” She crosses her arms, pretty much burying herself in my sweatshirt. And that’s when my phone pings with an incoming text. “You’d better get that,” she says. “It might be work.”
“You might be right.”
Dr. Hahn
Cash. Got a burst fracture for you. Guy fell off a ladder. Needs both lateral and posterior approaches. Do you have your pedicle screw system here?
My chest constricts. I’ve worked with Dr. Hahn before, but I’ve been courting his pedicle screw system for months. Trouble is, this kind of surgery is unpredictable at best and almost always complicated. The procedure could take hours, and he works at Mercy General. In Worcester.
That’s thirty minutes away.
I glance at Nori, huddled on my couch, her dark hair still damp. I’ve never turned down a case before. Not once. But I can’t leave her alone right now. She thinks she’s okay, but trauma response can creep up when you least expect it. I know this from past experience. And the stuff you resist can be the hardest to manage. Nori’s clearly a resister. What if the reality of what could’ve happened to her tonight suddenly hits, and there’s no one around to comfort her?
I push away the thought and dash off a response to Dr. Hahn before I second-guess myself.
Me
I always keep my sets there, but I’m in Serendipity Springs. Alex Linton could get to you faster than I could. And Vortex has a great system too.
Dr. Hahn
Thanks, Cash. I’ll get in touch with him.
Me
Next time, I’m your guy.
I set my phone facedown on the coffee table, even as my stomach clamps like a vise. For better or worse, Dr. Hahn has already worked with Alex, so I’m not leaving him hanging with an inexperienced rep. The patient will almost certainly have a positive outcome. But I’m not just turning down a case for the first time. I’m actually throwing business at my competitor.
I must be out of my mind.
“It’s getting late.” Nori makes a move to stand.
“You don’t have to go,” I rush to say. “We haven’t even figured out a plan yet.” I just turned down a case to stay with her. I’m not ready for her to leave.
But this has to be her choice.
“There’s not much to figure out.” She sinks back down onto the couch. “Hayden’s out of town, and I left a message for Keeley, but I haven’t heard back from her.” Nori fumbles for her phone. “Do you know Keeley? She lives downstairs. She’s great. Really great.”
“The brunette. With the nose ring?”
“That’s the one.”
“I’ve seen her around”— I’ve seen her with you —“but I don’t think we’ve met yet.”
“She’s probably out with her boyfriend, Andrew. He lives on this floor too, actually. I can just wait for her in the library. The chairs there are pretty comfortable. I won’t be alone long.” She shrugs, and my too-big sweatshirt slips off her shoulder.
“Stay here tonight.” The request slips out gruffer than I intended.
“With you?” She gulps.
“Yes.” My eyes lock with hers. “Your body just went through significant trauma. You could still be in shock. And … please.” I pause for a breath, my heart hammering in my chest. “I’d feel better knowing you’re safe. Besides. You’ll sleep better here than in a chair in the library. Or propped against your friend’s door waiting for her to get home.”
“But—”
“I want you to stay.” The truth slips out before I can reel it back in. Nori’s gaze roams my face, so vulnerable. So trusting. My hand flexes with the urge to reach out and pull my sweatshirt back up over her bare shoulder. Man. All my protective instincts have kicked into overdrive. I’m wading into dangerous territory.
“Consider it a favor to me,” I plead. “For my peace of mind.”
Nori presses her lips together, and I can’t stop staring at every little move of her mouth. “I guess I do owe you one,” she says. “So the least I could do is sleep on your couch.”
“Then it’s settled,” I say. “With one exception. I’ll take the couch. You get my bed.”