Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Nori
I’ve never seen that look on Cash’s face before. His jaw was clenched, his eyes hollowed out. The crease on his forehead could’ve been the Grand Canyon. He’d asked if the situation was bad, and then he took off. So it must be bad. Right?
All he told me before he left was, “It’s a kid.”
Now my insides are churning. Not only for Cash and the kid and the kid’s parents, but also for the doctors and scrub tech and nurses and everyone involved in whatever’s going on. Mostly, though, I feel terrible about the emotion that first popped into my head when Cash took the call.
Jealousy.
I saw the name lighting up his screen, and I immediately tensed, heat surging through me in a series of waves. Cash and I had been about to get pizza and spend some time together. Instead he’s off doing important work with Sandra Fulsome now.
And I hate it. I know. I’m a horrible, shallow person. But I don’t want to be.
So I wait a few hours—a rough estimation of timing for the surgery—then I head to Aria before they close. I order a pepperoni and olive pizza just like Cash and I had planned to do. I grab a six-pack of Dr. Pepper from Spring Foods and collect plates and napkins from my place. Then I post up outside Cash’s apartment watching New Moon on my phone and waiting to feed him when he finally gets home.
This is not about me being territorial or possessive. It’s simply a nice, neighborly thing to do for a man who’s been helping me out so much.
As the night drags on, though, and the movie ends, I find myself getting sleepy, so I lean my head back against his door. I decide to hang out fifteen more minutes before I give up and go back to my place. After all, Cash has done plenty of waiting around for me these past few weeks. If he’s not back soon, I’ll just leave the pizza and Dr. Pepper here on his doorstep. It’s the thought that counts, right?
I close my eyes, just for a moment.
Next thing I know, someone’s gently nudging my shoulder. “Nori? Hey.” I pry my eyes open to find Cash crouched in front of me. He’s in his scrubs, concern pinching his forehead. “What are you doing here?” The question comes out rusty. He sounds exhausted. I rub at my half-mast lids, then drag my hands down the rest of my face. Good. At least I’m not drooling and I don’t think there’s crust around my eyes.
“I got us some pizza,” I mumble.
“So I see.”
“And I waited for you.”
“Also noted. That was very nice, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“What time is it?” I choke out.
“Just past midnight.” He reaches for me. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed. We can eat this tomorrow.”
He rises first, then he helps me to stand, his touch sending twin zings up my arms. When my legs start tingling too, I stomp them to get the blood flowing again .
“My legs fell asleep,” I say.
“ You fell asleep.”
I bite back a yawn. “I guess I did.” I pull my hands away and offer him a sheepish glance. The circles under his eyes are even worse than they were earlier. His face looks almost haunted. “Everything go okay with the case?”
“Eventually.” He draws in a deep breath then exhales slowly. “We were almost to the point of sepsis by the time the doc got in there.”
“Oh, no.” I wrinkle my nose. “Sepsis is bad.”
“Yeah. Sepsis is bad.” He averts his eyes. “But he’s gonna be all right.”
“Are you all right?”
He shifts his weight, slowly bringing his gaze back to mine. “I am.” He gulps, and his Adam’s apple traverses his throat. “It’s just … hard. When it’s a kid …” I wait for him to finish his sentence, but he just stands there, eyes locked on mine.
“That’s what you want to do someday, though, isn’t it?” I blink. “You want a territory that focuses on kids?”
He tips his chin. “I thought so. Yes.” We both fall quiet, silently regarding each other for a moment. Then he sucks in a great gust of air. “But now …”
I inhale too, holding my breath until I feel like my lungs might burst. When I can’t wait any longer, I ask, “But now … what?”
A low moan sounds in the back of his throat. “This isn’t what I expected.” His voice sounds refracted, like it’s being filtered through another substance. Water, maybe. Or glass. “None of this is what I expected. Or what I wanted.”
The desire to comfort this good, kind man threads its way through my insides, drawing me closer to him. Connecting us even more tightly. “So what do you want now?” The question slips out of me even as tendrils of longing weave a web around my ribcage.
“Nori …”
I hear him say my name with my ears and my heart, and the rest of the world disappears. In this moment, all I want is for Cash to want me. To be the one who gives him everything. “Tell me what you need.”
A tremor racks his body. “I need to kiss you,” he rasps. The words are gravel-ragged, but all the worry and hope and fear I’ve been carrying is suddenly hijacked by total certainty.
I’ve never craved anything more.
“Do it,” I whisper. Light spills into every dark space, and an avalanche erupts inside me, jarring loose all the emotion I’ve been denying. “Kiss me.”
Cash slowly lifts his hand, sliding his palm around the nape of my neck and tugging me toward him. When our bodies are flush, he walks us backward until I’m pressed against the hallway mirror.
Lifting my face, I fill my lungs, preparing to dive underneath a layer of something bigger than I am. Bigger than both of us. If I’m not careful, Cash’s kiss will shatter the fantasy and become my new reality.
Maybe that’s exactly what I want.
He places his free hand along the base of my throat to cup my chin and cheek. As he tilts my head—gently, tenderly—his gaze dips to my lips. The heat in his eyes says he wants to devour me, and my body responds. I’m tingling and trembling.
Ready to be devoured.
I’m officially on fire for this man. The truth is, I have been ever since I saw him reaching for me in the mirror. This mirror. The one I’m pressed against now. As he lowers his mouth to mine, his eyes remain open. Mine do too. Two sets of lasers boring into the other. At the same time, I know that just behind us is another Nori and Cash. The reflected image of us.
He pauses just before our lips meet, and my insides quiver with anticipation, all five senses buzzing and humming. Our eyes are still locked, and I’m helpless against the pull of him. I could so easily go up on my toes and initiate the kiss, but I’m waiting for Cash to make the final move.
I want him to surrender to what I’m feeling too.
As he slowly dissolves the last bit of space between us, my lips part, dying to be captured. He grazes them softly at first. Then a low growl originates in the back of his throat, an admission of how much he wants me too. And this small loss of control drives me wild, flooding my body with desire.
When our mouths finally crash together, the heat is instantaneous. Not just from his lips, but from the internal connection. The severing of our separateness creates a wholeness in me. I am lost in his arms. But I’m found here too.
Never in my life have I felt such security and belonging. There’s always been a sliver of distance between my heart and everyone around me. Like something was missing. An emptiness no one else could fill.
Until Cash.
His hands slip down now, both arms wrapping around my waist, somehow gathering me even closer to him than I already was. I sigh into his strength, and he lifts me up off my toes. And in some kind of primal rush, he spins us around until he’s up against the mirror now, still holding me in his arms.
My body is weightless, but my need for him keeps us grounded.
His mouth blazes a path across my lips, then over to my cheek before feathering along my chin. He’s taking his time, the exploration slow—almost torturously so—like he’s savoring every inch of me. Finally he journeys down to my throat, igniting my neck and collarbone. I’m an uncharted roadmap he’s tracing. This is brand-new territory, a land I’ve never dared to explore.
He continues to kiss me, our lips entwined, as he lowers my body. When my feet return to the floor, I arch backward, and he bends over me, one arm at my waist, holding me upright. His embrace is the only thing keeping me from sliding into a puddle.
How long have we been like this? Two minutes?
An hour?
Eternity?
Finally, his lips detach from my skin just long enough for him to meet my gaze and gasp, “We shouldn’t be doing this.” The raw honesty in his eyes—his words, his breath—completely overtakes me. I can’t think about anything else. Anybody else.
“Why?”
“You signed a contract.” He shudders. “We’re risking the money Swipe Rite promised you. And I won’t be the reason you break your word to them.”
My focus slips to the glass directly behind him. For once, the image reflected there is actually happening. I’m with Cash Briggs for real, and he just kissed me. The best kiss of my life. The best kiss of anyone’s life. So what if this makes no sense, or if some magic mirror on the wall is what brought us together? For whatever reason, we’re here now. And I’m willing to throw caution to the wind. To let him in.
To take the risk.
“Wait for me,” I say, as warmth fills my entire heart. For the first time since I met Cash—or maybe in my entire life—I feel in charge of my future. “Just a couple more weeks and this campaign will be over. Being together at the wedding this weekend might be a challenge, but I think I can keep my hands to myself.” A shy smile drifts across my face. “Then afterward …”
Cash shakes his head. “It won’t work.”
I reach for his hand now. I felt his kiss. I tasted his lips. I can tell in my soul he feels the same way I do. “I know you think you don’t have time for relationships, but you’ve made plenty of time for me lately. So we can figure something out.” I swallow. “We just have to try. Either way”—my eyes sting with hopeful tears—“I don’t want to be with anybody else. Please.”
“Nori.” He blows out a long breath. “I’m moving to LA.” He gulps. “Next month.”
And that’s when the floor drops out from under me, and my heart plummets.
Like an elevator.