Chapter 4
ROWAN
“Rowan, how would you describe the feeling of playing on a new team after a career dedicated to Texas?” The beat reporter held her iPhone out to record his response. Rowan always preferred post-practice media to post-game media, because the stakes were lower.
“It’s been good.” His response was brief, but he didn’t know what else to say about it.
“You’re playing with Theo Lane again. In preseason games and practice, your line seems to be working. I swear I saw a play you two used to make in junior out there.”
“Theo has always been a great playmaker. He knows how to get the puck to me, makes it easy to score. That’s more Theo than me.”
A different reporter spoke up. “Victor Czeskowski has been direct about how focused the Serpents are this year on winning the Cup. Do you think you have a chance?”
“If I didn’t think we had a chance, I wouldn’t be here, point-blank.”
“Have you been keeping tabs on Felix Becker out in New Jersey? You two were close in Texas.”
“Felix is my best friend. We talk every day.” In Rowan’s mind, he could hear echoes of interviews he did at the beginning of his rookie year. Theo is my best friend. We talk every day.
What would his life be like if they hadn’t stopped talking?
“Thanks for your time, Rowan. We’re excited to have you out here with us.”
The swarm of reporters moved on to talk to Coach Peters, and Rowan sat back down in his stall.
To his right was Drew Vang, who scored the most goals as a defenseman last year.
On his other side was Samuel Rasker, the young, promising goalie who Rowan hadn’t heard speak yet.
When they were next to Rowan, they were both quiet.
By now, Rowan knew that if he got up to shower, Drew and Sammy would be talking and laughing in seconds.
Rowan wasn’t sure how to insert himself into that kind of easy camaraderie.
He knew the younger guys were intimidated by him, but they didn’t know Rowan felt the same about them.
“Foley, hit the shower, we’re leaving soon,” Vic called across the room. They had carpooled, the three of them, Theo pouting in the back seat of Vic’s SUV where he was relegated since Rowan was the new guy and got front-seat privileges. At least today.
Rowan hustled to finish up his post-practice routine and followed Vic and Theo out of the locker room like a puppy. He wondered when he was going to stop feeling like it was the first day of school and he didn’t know where to sit at lunch.
“I called in a take-out order already, so we’re stopping to grab that on the way home,” Vic told him. Theo went straight to the back seat again.
They grabbed food from a fancy sandwich and smoothie place, and when they got back to Vic’s house, Theo grabbed his food and headed straight upstairs.
Rowan had to admit that he didn’t know Theo the way he had when they were kids anymore, but he wasn’t used to watching Theo choose solitude for himself.
Theo was extroverted. Theo loved the boys.
While Rowan was the shy one who had the reputation for being a little stuck up and closed off, Theo was the easy, confident center of attention.
“I’m sorry he’s...being like this,” Vic said, taking his own food into the living room. Rowan followed, watching Vic pull up a basketball game from the night before. “I talked to him about it. He promised to be nice.”
“If I’m a problem—”
“Theo is being the problem. You have nothing to apologize for. And while I’m not going to hold you captive here, I want you to be here. Hotel rooms are no good. You need a real bed, a real kitchen.”
“Real kitchen is nice.”
“I know you’re used to being in charge of your team, and I wanted to make sure you know that letter on your jersey or not, you’re honorary leadership, alright?
I’ve seen that the kids are a little afraid of you.
We’ll work on that. But it’s because they respect you.
No matter what tantrum Theo is throwing, you belong here, alright? ”
“You’ve noticed that the younger guys won’t talk to me?”
“They’re starstruck. They’ll get over it.”
“I’m not really known for being the most fun guy in the room.”
“I think we’re all familiar with your in-room personality.”
“Oh, fuck you,” Rowan said, feeling the first bit of levity since he got there.
“I’ll make you fun if it kills me, alright?”
Rowan was grateful for Vic’s welcome speech.
They ate their sandwiches, and Vic told him the basics of the Bay Area sports teams he’d need to know. Fans always appreciated when you supported their hometown teams, so Rowan knew he needed to brush up on at least the football and basketball teams that played during the hockey season.
After a couple of hours, Theo came back downstairs, and Rowan slipped into his guest room to be out of Theo’s hair a little. He still didn’t understand why Theo was being like this to him, but he was in Theo’s house, and he could give him some space if he needed it.
The house was big and echoey, and he could hear Theo and Vic laughing in the living room from his guest room. He and Felix had been trading texts over the last few days, and Rowan was lonely and wanted to hear his voice.
“Hey, babe,” Felix said, his voice bright in his greeting. Rowan’s heart ached for him.
“Hey.”
“Oh no, not Sad Rowan.”
“I’m not sad.”
“You know you can’t lie to me,” Felix said, his voice gentle but firm. Felix was right. Rowan never could lie to him. It’s part of the reason they were in this mess now.
“Theo hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“You’re not here.”
“I know, but, Ro, no one could hate you.”
Rowan knew for a fact that wasn’t true. “I still don’t get it.”
“I know I wasn’t there with you in junior, but the way you’ve talked about him…I think you broke his heart.”
“My heart was broken, too.”
“You were going through different things, babe.”
Rowan took his jeans off and slipped under his covers.
He wanted Felix there with him. Neither of them had any business using pet names for each other.
Neither of them had any business treating the other the way they did—like they were more than ex-teammates.
Felix was straight, and they had never done anything that went past being just friends.
Except the pet names. And calling each other before going to bed. And the cuddling.
Rowan could have fallen in love with Felix so easily.
Instead, they just became codependent best friends.
The two of them against the league. Rowan knew that he’d chosen his friendship with Felix over romantic opportunities in Texas, and it was worth it.
It meant that Felix knew Rowan better than anyone, and was unequivocally on his side, no matter what.
“I guess,” Rowan finally agreed. The NHL was hard his first few years.
Sometimes on nights when the Victory lost horribly, he had wished he was back on the Jaguars with Theo.
He would have preferred the success Theo was having in the O to the failure he was having in the show, even if he knew Theo would have traded with him in a heartbeat.
“Give him some time. He’ll come around. You two are absolute fire out there on the ice, though. I’m jealous.”
“I’d rather be playing with you.”
“We talked about this,” Felix reminded him. They had. He still hated it.
“Do you think we made a mistake?”
“No. I don’t. I hate being this far away from you, but we both needed to get out of there, and you know it.”
Rowan sighed. Felix was right, and Rowan hated him for it.
“Good luck tonight,” Rowan said. Felix’s Ruby Reds had their home opener. “I’ll be watching.”
“Take a nap, grumpy boy. I expect lots of flattering text messages after the game, alright?”
“Deal,” Rowan said, hitting End Call. Felix was right. He needed a nap.