Chapter 45
Forty-Five
“Wyatt, you sit by Grandpa,” I say, ushering my nephew to where Dad is perched in his recliner chair. Wyatt takes a seat on the floor next to him. Mom and Lindy are on the couch.
“Okay,” I say through a puff of air, my nerves racing.
“Okay, sweetheart, you’ve gathered us all. Now what?” Mom crosses her arms, peering up at me from her seat.
I pace once in front of the couch.
Lindy mimics Mom’s folded arms. “Yeah, what’s going on?”
“I need advice. I need some help. I—” I blow a raspberry through my lips. “I can’t referee Lucca’s team anymore.” My head bobbles in a shake. “There’s a reason it’s against the rules.” I pull in a sharp breath. “That Red Tail game a couple nights ago—I was biased.”
“Biased?” Dad says. “You carded him for a perfectly—” He shuts up with a smack to his arm from Mom.
“It was a fine call,” Mom says. “You knew this job came with complaints and hard calls. You’re doing great.”
“No, Mom. It was an awful call. One Lucca had every right to complain about. And yet—this time, he didn’t. I’m biased because it’s him, and he’s having softer reactions than he normally would because it’s me.”
“You carded him,” Dad says. “You did nothing to favor him, sweetheart.”
“No,” Lindy says, watching me. “She overcorrected because she was cheering for him.”
I point to my sister. “Bingo.”
“Oh,” my parents say in unison.
“Wait,” Wyatt says, sitting up straighter. “Aunt Maggie! Are you saying that you cheated to hurt Lucca? Because I am not okay with that.”
“I didn’t cheat, buddy.” I wink at him, when really I just want to pull him into my arms and let him hug me better. “We aren’t cheaters.”
“Whew.” A dramatic hand wipes over his forehead.
“But when I told him how I was feeling, I was pretty upset. I’ve never reacted biased in a game before.” I still can’t believe it. “I’m always professional. I always try to judge accurately, no matter how it might change the game.”
“You do, Maggie,” Dad says. He sits on the edge of his rocker and reaches for my hand. “You’re good at what you do, sweetheart.”
“I wasn’t unbiased two days ago.” I lick my lips. “The worst part is, after I talked to Lucca about it, he decided that he needed to make a big life change.”
“Does he want to play forward more? Because I think he might get to score if he did that,” Wyatt says. “And he really should be eating more avocados.”
“No, bud, not a change with his game, but changing what he does for a living.”
Lindy gasps.
“Oh my,” Mom says, darting a glance at Dad.
My father’s eyes go wide. “That’s a big change.”
“I can’t let him do it. I can’t.”
“Does that mean he is going to eat avocados? Because that would be very good for staying alive." Wyatt’s little nose is wrinkled along with his brow. My boy is thinking hard.
“That means he might change his job.” Mom wraps one arm around Wyatt’s shoulders.
Wyatt claps a hand over his mouth and gasps.
Lindy leans forward, her elbows on her knees. “Maggie, you don’t get to decide what he does. You can’t make him do or not do anything.”
I glare at her, pulling my hand from Dad’s and cramming it in a tight fold. “He will not quit soccer for me.”
“No,” Wyatt says, almost weepy.
“Because you’re the only one who gets to be a hero?” Lindy stares at me, unwilling to back down. She’s not deferring to the big sister today.
My arms fall from their fold and flop at my sides. “I’m not a hero.” My voice shakes, and I peer down at Wyatt. “I just did what had to be done. This is a completely different situation.”
Lindy stands, meeting me eye to eye. She doesn’t back down, and her tone doesn’t waver. “It sounds like the exact same situation. You quit because you loved me and Wyatt. He wants to quit because he loves you.”
The room goes deathly quiet. I cannot believe my sister just said that—that she would even consider that notion.
“Aunt Maggie quit soccer because she loves me?” Wyatt says, his sweet face tipping up to me.
“No, baby,” I say. “I quit because it was time for me to quit.”
“Yes, Wyatt,” Lindy says, her tone strong. “She did.” I want to slap my hand over her mouth. Don’t put this on him. Don’t make him feel guilty for my choices. “Your aunt loves you and me so very much, and she puts us first. Just like she always does.”
He grins. “I love you, too, Aunt Maggie. And I’d pick you over banana cream pie. Almost every time.”
My chest heaves, and I cry out a breathless laugh. “Thanks, bud.” He looks proud. He looks happy. He doesn’t look guilt-ridden.
He simply looks as if he feels loved.
Because that’s what he is. I love Wyatt more than anyone in the world.
And I’d never take back the decision I made then.
It came with sorrow and heartache and a small identity crisis.
But he was worth every bit of trouble and grief.
He is our greatest gift, given in the hardest of times, and I’d never give that back.
“I think you need to let Lucca do whatever he wants to do,” Lindy says.
“Me, too!” Wyatt chimes, rolling onto his side. “We can still play soccer in the backyard together.”
“Me, too, my sweet girl.” A tear streaks Mom’s cheek.
Dad nods. “You’re worth it.”
I shut my eyes. This conversation did not go as planned. They were supposed to help me know what to do. Their solution is to do nothing? To just let Lucca give up all he’s worked for.
I grind my teeth and say nothing as my family disperses back to their summer day. It doesn’t take long, and in the end, I am left with my sister.
“I can’t let him, Lindy.” I stare at the ground, my heart thumping, my throat aching.
“There is another option.” She tips her head to meet me eye to eye. “You know that, right?”
I peer back at her pretty face. I don’t know that. What other option?
“Lucca wouldn’t have to make a change if you did first.”
My brow narrows. “That’s true.”
“Do you care for him enough to do that?”
I think I do. It’s a scary thought. Scary and wonderful all at once.
“Yes.” And yet, when I lost playing with my team, when I lost my identity as a soccer player, I lost myself for a time.
It was hard and painful. Would I be doing that all over again if I lost officiating?
“I’m not trying to be completely selfish here—but I love my job.
I love still being a part of the game and…
” I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can lose myself again, Lindy. Does that make me terrible?”
“Loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself.” She smiles at me. “And last I checked, you had turned down a promotion to ref in the major league.”
I nibble on my lip, my brows pulling together. “I turned that down to make sure I had more time with Wyatt.”
“You did, you angel sister. But Wyatt has me, and Mom, and Dad, and I’m pretty sure Wyatt even has Lucca now. So, maybe it’s time to step up your game.”
My heart thunders in my ears. “I’d be busier.”
“Yes, you would,” she says, smiling at me.
My breath hitches. The majors and Lucca? That sounds a little like a fairytale.
Too good to be true.