Officious Interference (Pride and Prejudice Variation)
Chapter 1 The Colonel’s Indiscretion
THE COLONEL’S INDISCRETION
“What he told me was merely this,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam to his increasingly irate companion, “that he congratulated himself on having lately saved a friend from the inconveniences of a most imprudent marriage, but without mentioning names or any other particulars; and I only suspected it to be Bingley from believing him the kind of young man to get into a scrape of that sort, and from knowing them to have been together the whole of last summer.”
“Did Mr Darcy give you his reasons for this interference?”
“I understood that there were some very strong objections against the lady.”
“And what arts did he use to separate them?”
“He did not talk to me of his own arts,” said the colonel, smiling. “He only told me what I have now told you.”
Elizabeth made no answer, and walked on, her heart swelling with indignation. After watching her a little, Colonel Fitzwilliam asked her why she was so thoughtful.
“I am thinking of what you have been telling me,” said she. “Your cousin’s conduct does not suit my feelings. Why was he to be the judge?”
“You are rather disposed to call his interference officious?”
“I do not see what right Mr Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend’s inclination, or why, upon his own judgment alone, he was to determine and direct in what manner that friend was to be happy.
” Elizabeth breathed deeply and looked to the side, imposing upon herself a futile wish to restrain her anger…
which at last would be restrained no more.
“So, yes, I beg your pardon, but I must say, I would call his interference exceedingly officious.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam appeared surprised by the vehemence of her reply but made no utterance about it. The pair were silent for a time as they continued to walk.
At length, Elizabeth, looking at the ground, said, “Colonel Fitzwilliam, I pray you would forgive me for so forgetting myself. You see, the lady of whom you speak happens to be my own dear sister.”
“Your sister!” exclaimed Colonel Fitzwilliam.
“Miss Bennet, I am mortified. Never would I have imagined that! I should not have spoken in such a way; it is nothing but idle gossip. Darcy gave me no names; the whole matter is very likely a concern of other persons besides your sister and Mr Bingley.”
“No, I am certain your initial suspicion is correct.” Elizabeth took a deep breath, still working to regain her composure.
“As it happens, Mr Bingley abandoned her very precipitously, decamped his estate giving leave to no one—and after showing her such overt favour! But to hear it confirmed is still very upsetting.”
“I implore you to forgive my indiscretion.”
“Really, sir, you need not trouble yourself. My distress comes more from the fact that my poor sweet sister, who is also my dearest friend, remains greatly affected by Mr Bingley’s actions.
She removed to London for the winter to gain some distance from the situation, as the gossips of Hertfordshire along with my mother were quite insensible of the effect their remarks had on her spirits.
Then, while in London, she called upon Mr Bingley’s sisters.
Miss Bingley returned the call several weeks later, only to cut her.
It has been a particularly cruel trial for one who has never thought ill of a soul in this world, and whose only sin was to fall in love with an amiable man.
“I know I am likely biased,” Elizabeth continued, “but truly you must believe me when I say there could be no lady as wonderful and sweet as is my dear Jane. She is beautiful, and her temperament is all that is lovely and kind. She lacks artifice and cunning, and trusts fully in the goodness of all those she meets. It is unimaginable to me that anyone could object to such a wonderful girl.”
“If she is in any way comparable to you in beauty and grace, I assure you, I fully believe both my cousin and Bingley are raving mad,” said the colonel kindly.
“She is far, far better than I, Colonel, not only in beauty but also in sweetness of temper. I do believe she and Mr Bingley could have been quite happy with one another. In any case, it is not to be. Jane will one day meet another, as will Mr Bingley, and it will all be forgotten, but for now, I must endeavour to console my heartbroken sister as best I can.”
The colonel murmured something that sounded sympathetic and they continued to walk, both lapsed into thought.
It was a path they had trod together before, and some part of Elizabeth’s mind noted the greater profusion of flowers amid the shrubs that came with the warmer weather and longer days.
Another time it should have delighted her, but she was too much distressed to appreciate them now.
At length, another source of dismay occurred to her—a comment that the colonel had made to her previously regarding the marriage habits of younger sons of earls. ‘Younger sons cannot marry where they like,’ he had said. ‘Our habits of expense make us too dependent.’
Had it been for her? Did the colonel imagine, even now, that she would be left lovelorn by him? She would not wish to part company with him thinking that, like Jane had for Bingley, she might pine over him for months.
“Sir?”
The colonel turned and looked at her expectantly.
“I cannot help but consider our previous discussion in light of this conversation about my sister.”
“Our previous discussion?”
“Regarding the marriage habits of younger sons of earls.”
“Oh, yes.” He looked a little awkward.
“Forgive me for speaking frankly but…it occurs to me that you might have thought you needed to warn me off.” She smiled up at him to assure him she spoke lightly.
“Oh! No, no. I mean, of course—”
“I would not wish that any awkwardness remain between us, as I suspect there might be if you thought you left me with disappointed hopes. I must assure you, sir, that I had nor will have any such inclinations towards you.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam’s laughter rang out through the verdure. “You find me undesirable, then? I believe my own sensibilities have been wounded!”
“I do believe you seek a compliment!” she teased him. “I shall not give you one. I imagine you are well aware of your popularity with ladies, else you would not have felt the need to warn me off as you did.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam once again laughed heartily.
“Right to the heart of the matter! Still, I must beg you to reconsider my need for a compliment, for I have been in the company of Darcy for some time now, and there are few ladies foolish enough to so much as glance at a poor soldier when I am in his presence.”
“I had the pleasure of watching Miss Bingley’s designs on him while he was at Netherfield. In cases such as those, you must count yourself fortunate.”
“Miss Bingley is by far not the worst of them, I assure you. My cousin will be an excellent catch for any lady, and not just because of his fortune.”
“Indeed?” The momentary pleasure Elizabeth had felt in the glad-hearted exchange was at once dispelled. Rancour was quick to prevail, though she made every effort to conceal it.
“Darcy is an honourable man, caring of his friends, intelligent, good willed—I cannot think of anyone I know who would be a better husband.”
Why is he saying this to me? Elizabeth only nodded in reply, unable to think of a thing to say that would not reveal her true feelings.
She was obliged to turn her head away only moments later—the colonel would insist on giving her several searching looks—and exclaim over some flowering shrubs that she had seen numerous times before.
The colonel was not distracted. “Forgive my impertinence, but I sense you are not inclined to think highly of my cousin?”
Elizabeth paused before she answered. “You may think he will make someone an excellent husband, but to me he is the last man on earth I should ever consider marrying.”
“Because of this matter of your sister and Bingley?”
“I have much to hold against Mr Darcy, but on my own, I might be able to forgive him. For hurting Jane, however, there can be no redress.”
“Oh ho! You have much to hold against him, do you? You have thoroughly roused my curiosity!”
Elizabeth gave him a quick glance and acquiesced.
“I shall tell you, then, but only because the remark Mr Darcy made that evening was heard not only by me, but also by those of my friends and neighbours sitting around me, so I can only suppose it was never intended to be confidential in the first place.”
She told the tale of Mr Darcy’s insult of her in quick sketches, making sure to smile throughout. As she had that evening, she did not wish anyone to know how the event had pained her.
The colonel gave a rueful chuckle and lightly slapped his palm to his forehead. “Not handsome enough to tempt him! That is prodigiously uncivil, even for him!”
“It was his honest opinion, and he is entitled to it; I only wish he had been less free in sharing it in the midst of my friends and relations. We have never got on together since; we spend most of our time disagreeing about things.”
“I can certainly see why you would be doubtful of his good character. I will assure you though, such behaviour is not customary. Darcy is of a quiet, sometimes sombre nature, but I have never known him to be so uncivil, and certainly not to a lady.”
Elizabeth acknowledged his opinion with a little nod, and they walked on. She had just resolved to turn back when Colonel Fitzwilliam spoke again.
“Miss Bennet, there is a question which has plagued me since the very day we met. It is not my business to ask you, but…” He gave her a charming smile.
“Oh dear! I can only imagine, but given our conversation so far this morning, it seems hardly the time to go missish.”
He laughed at her protest, then said, “My aunt indicated that she believed Collins might have offered for you?”
Elizabeth felt herself turn red and then laughed and looked down. It seemed enough of a confirmation to the colonel who laughingly exclaimed that he did not believe it.
“And he was exceedingly reluctant to accept a negative reply,” she said, stirring up the colonel’s mirth once more.
“I cannot imagine why…” The colonel stopped himself from further enquiry, but Elizabeth felt she might know what he meant to ask.
“My father’s estate is entailed away, and Mr Collins is the heir. I imagine he believed that any of my sisters would wish to marry him, if for no other reason than to secure our family’s future, in the event of my father’s death.”
“And yet you refused?”
“Very impractical of me, was it not?” Elizabeth remarked with a smile.
“Regardless of what gain there would be, I knew I could not respect or esteem him. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I am consoled in seeing him with my friend. They have managed to achieve marital felicity in a way I could never have done.”
It was not entirely true of course. Charlotte was decidedly altered from the young lady she had been in Hertfordshire, but perhaps it was only the natural progression from girl to wife.
Elizabeth and the colonel had arrived at the crooked little lane that led to the parsonage. “I believe, sir, that our paths must diverge, and unless you have any other urgent personal matters to question me on, I shall return to the parsonage.”
With a last laugh, the colonel bowed and left her.