Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Thiago
Irritation washes over me as I chuck the phone onto Nico’s empty bed.
I don’t know why it bothered me so much that Zayden is ignoring me.
But it does, and like a wound, it festers, gnawing at me every second of the day.
I drag my hand down my face, my eyes glued on the window, before finally dragging my ass out of bed and showering.
It’s not a long one, just enough to get me going and ready for my meeting today.
As always, I dress to impress, wearing a bone white turtleneck and black dress pants and shoes.
Keeping up with the latest fashion and using the one thing that sets me apart from my father—my looks.
Another set of knocks, this time harsher and harder to ignore.
I turn slowly, my movements sluggish and without any real purpose.
I work on the smile I’ll plaster on. My lips stretch until I settle for a small grin, putting the mask in place.
It’s easier to pretend that this life doesn't affect you.
That you don't wear your heart on your sleeve for everyone to see. Exposing yourself.
And as selfish as I can be, I couldn’t do that with Zayden, even if I wanted to.
So I'll pretend until I become the very thing I learn to hate. The knocking becomes infuriating and persistent, which makes me move closer, my body instantly relaxing when I realize I can guess who’s outside the door.
The only person bold enough to do that. My hand hovers over the handle as I draw in a deep breath, bracing myself for the cold and for her.
“Shiloh,” I mutter at the blonde who looks at me like she might just kill me, those icy blues shooting daggers at me when I open the door.
Hand resting on her hips as Shiloh continues to glare, her nostrils flaring with each deep inhale.
With a scowl on her face, she moves, and I step out of her way, allowing her to storm past me.
Once she’s inside, I close the door behind us, making sure to lock it so that no one can interrupt us. I turn to face her; how did I not notice, how red the tip of her nose is and how puffy and swollen her eyes are, a clear indication she’s been crying. And I already know the reason why.
“He’s not here.”
She blinks away the tears shimmering in her eyes.
“I know he’s not.” Shiloh points an accusatory finger at me.
Tears finally fall, but she’s shaking with rage.
Her chest moves in small, uneven breaths.
“What the fuck is going on? Peter won’t say anything to me, and I refuse to talk to my parents,” she seethes, her eyes narrowing before expanding into wide saucers of pain. “So, you talk. Tell me, Thiago!”
I groan.
“Shi…” I breathe out, unsure of what to say.
It’s not like I was aware.
My heart beats furiously inside my chest as I exhale through my nose.
I shrug, and my mouth opens to speak, but I can’t think of the right way to articulate my thoughts.
To remind her of the life that was chosen for us.
It just is what it is, and as simple as breathing, the words tumble out.
“What do you want me to say, Shi? You know how life is for us, there’s not much I can do even if I did know something. ”
I step in closer, the look of defeat on the face of the girl I’ve grown up beside has my heart splintering into pieces.
I’ve never seen her like this; she’s always been so sure of things, so aware of her role in this place.
And now she’s so lost. It’s funny to think back when we were younger.
We used to think we would be the ones to get married, and eventually we fell into each other's beds, until Nico came around and breathed life back into her cold little heart. I won’t lie, seeing her so defeated does something to me.
Something twists painfully inside; it’s strange to console her, this isn’t like her at all.
Shiloh has always been a cold bitch with big emotions, but right now she’s crumbling under the weight of everything.
The worst part is knowing I’ll become part of the pain.
“Please, let me see him.”
I shake my head, not because I don’t want them together, but because Peter's message was loud and clear. He will kill Nico if they come into contact. I don’t know how Shiloh or Nico continue to dance by the flames, knowing they will get burned.
Fuck, even I couldn’t fix this train ride from hell.
It seems like all we can do is ride it out and see what happens.
Especially now that my loyalty is being tested and I can’t fail.
Not when I have my own goals too. My own person to protect.
“Shiloh, if you care for him.” I cup her warm cheek. “You have to stay away, at least for now. Give it time, maybe Peter will get bored. But don’t test him.”
She pushes me away with so much force that the back of my knee hits a metal chair behind me.
The utter look of disgust written on her face is enough to make me grimace.
This emotion feels so foreign coming from the girl I grew up with.
Memories flood my brain, dragging me back to the last time I was inside her.
The look resembles the one she wears now, disgust, and it’s all directed at me—instead of her.
We were nothing serious, fucking me was her way of getting under Nico's skin while he paraded around with June. For me, an easy escape from Zayden and all the complicated feelings that rise every time I think of him. We’re all products of our environment.
No matter how much I tried to separate myself from my father’s depraved reflection, it was all a bitter lie.
The moment Zayden's lips engulfed me, the way his body trembled under mine—it all shattered that illusion. It’s confusing.
I don’t know if what I feel is real or just simply born from the trauma that binds us.
I guess I’ll never know. Zayden will never allow me close enough to explore it.
Even if he feels the same, I’m sure he’d fight it—even if his body betrays him, spilling secrets that he tries to keep buried.
But I know his truth. I just wish his mouth would speak what his body portrays.
“Earth to Thiago,” Shiloh snaps as she plops on Nico’s bed, her hand running down his dark blue pillow before bringing it to her chest and inhaling his scent into her lungs. “I can’t lose him, not after everything.”
“What can you do?”
Her gaze snaps to mine, and those icy orbs hold me in place. “Help me bring them down.”
With a chuckle, I ask. “Bring who down?”
She tilts her head, not out of confusion but more like ‘you’re fucking with me, right?
’ I mean, I am. Shiloh has no idea what really happens in Velarium.
Well, I guess to some extent she does. Memories of a crying Shiloh slither their way into my mind.
Finding her drugged and seconds from being raped set off a chain of commands I didn’t even know I had.
The heaviness that settled deep in my chest, hearing her whimpers as E and I drove her back to her dorm after finding her blindfolded and slipping out of consciousness, is something I won’t soon forget.
Hearing her fight, before accepting it’s no use, and knowing what could have happened has me fisting my hand and tugging at my hair.
The thing is, we were raised for this. We’re nothing but legacy. She’s nothing but a body to fill and breed. Yet, it pains me—breaks me—to know this is the life of those I love.
My life.
The memory comes in hot, slamming into the forefront of my mind.
I look back as she curls into my jacket in the backseat, calling out for Nico, making me wonder how long the abuse has been going on for her.
Was it happening to June, too? So many questions.
But one thing is for certain: she got a glimpse of the depravity.
How cold it is in a place that has seen so much blood.
I look down at my hands and still see the filth on them.
I blink away the memory, letting it disappear like smoke.
“Shi,” I begin to say before she stands, her eyes determined as she shakes her head in defiance.
“No, I love him. Whether you help or not, I will not let him go.”
“Then you will bury him just like you did June.”
The moment the words slip past my lips, a searing pain has my face turning the other way.
The shock of the sting feels like being hit with cold water.
Only then did I realize she slapped the living shit out of me before storming out in a full rage.
The door slammed shut behind her. It’s getting tiring having to play so many sides; it’s tearing me up inside.
It’s like they are completely oblivious to my role, to my own emotions.
I mean, it’s not like this isn’t hurting me, too. Is it unfair? Fuck yes.
Unfortunately, there’s a hierarchy in place in our world.
I can understand Nico and Zayden not really grasping their reality, but her?
I huff out a breath before turning off my spiraling thoughts and pulling myself out of the darkness of my mind.
There’s no time for that. After finishing up with some cologne, I head out to the club.
“Brother,” Ezra says with a warm smile as he hands me a cup of coffee—bitter with only cream. Just how I like it. “Did you get in touch with them?”