Chapter Nine
Thiago
My chin rests on the palm of my hand. I try to tune into the lecture, but it’s meaningless.
I grow more restless by the second; my knee bounces vigorously.
Sitting here at this desk, glaring holes in the back of Shiloh’s perfect shades of platinum blonde.
There are so many conflicting emotions fighting for dominance in my head.
My left hand grips the edge of the desk.
Internally, I’m screaming, taking mental notes of everything I need to do, and yet, there’s only one thing that I’d rather do.
I find my gaze drifting towards him, as always, biting the corner of his nail, and with his left hand, taking notes.
Who would have thought a man like Zayden gave a fuck about grades, yet here we are.
The corner of my lip slightly tilts at the thought.
There’s so much I know and still so many parts he keeps tucked away, never allowing me to see.
The sound of my phone buzzing across the smooth surface drags my attention away from Z and towards the illuminated screen.
Peter:
Club at 6
My veins turn ice cold, tension builds between my shoulders, as life once again puts me in my place.
There’s no such thing as dreams in a place built on nightmares.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I wait for the chime that alerts us that class is over.
When it finally rings, students scatter to grab their things, chatting amongst themselves while I sink into my chair, trying my hardest to make myself smaller.
Make myself blend in the background, while my peers talk about pointless shit.
I lift my gaze and find Shiloh looking down at her phone, tucking strands of hair behind her ear, biting into her lip.
At that moment, it occurs to me that this is new to me.
Watching the Ice Queen melt into a screen, blush creeping up her cheeks.
There’s no doubt she’s in love. Only love can make someone look so utterly stupid, yet so captivated.
My heart sinks into my stomach, but before it can settle there, butterflies erupt at the smell of Zayden’s body spray filling my lungs, and my body jolts into action as he storms past me.
Fuck!
I almost missed him…
Grabbing my school materials, which consist of only a MacBook that I never open and my empty leather messenger bag that I use to carry it around, I move to follow him.
It’s not like my grades matter, so I never make the effort.
My last name guarantees passing with honors and a job lined up before I walk out the door of Villalargos, all just pointless steps to a certain doom.
I move between desks, rushing to the door, and still, by the time I make it outside, Zayden is long gone—lost in the sea of students that walk around campus.
A smirk tugs at my lips, the idea that I have Orozco always trying to avoid me amuses me.
It’s a high I love to chase. I take a deep breath in, allowing the cold to bite my lungs, my gaze still sweeping over the area, when I catch sight of Nico looking suspicious, his head darting from one side to another before slipping between the school buildings.
Stopping right behind a tree, I watch as Shiloh wastes no time following the same path.
I stay behind for a moment, my mind and heart battling inside me…
In the end, I chose the one that also allows me to play the part I need to, even if I might be hated for it.
I prefer my friends alive and well. And this is one way of guaranteeing that.
A shaky breath escapes my lips, my hand curling into the leather strap across my chest as my feet drag me towards the art wing.
My shoulders square with each step, the mask slipping into place, as I lean into the door frame before pulling out the phone in my pocket and snapping a picture of Nico and Shiloh kissing.
Amateurs didn’t even bother to close the door.
They are so lost in each other that they don’t even notice me here… . Holding up a phone and recording.
I clear my throat, causing Shiloh to startle, jumping into Nico’s arms. Their lips were swollen after the passionate kiss. Something in my chest pangs before twisting into something green—thick with envy.
His eyes narrow, giving me a death stare, one I can only answer with a slow shrug and a very flat, “You both are starting to really inconvenience me.”
Nico tucks Shiloh behind him, his brows furrow together, and the look on his face is something between disgust and distrust. The look feels foreign, and I hate it.
My friend looks at me like a stranger, and I guess, in a way, I am.
It’s not his friend who stands in front of him, but the future of Velarium, his handler, Thiago Safra.
I hate the title and the responsibility that comes with it… It’s like a dagger that remains lodged between my ribs, steady and cold. Each movement is more painful than the last. I drag my tongue over my teeth, biting back the emotion.
“What the fuck has gotten into you?” he snaps through gritted teeth, his jaw muscles tight; there’s so much anger behind his words, even if he’s holding back. I wish I could respond honestly, there’s so much I want to say… But I’m annoyed and lowkey hungry. And this isn’t the fucking time…
Using my index finger, I motion between them.
“It’s like you have a death wish,” I let out, stepping forward. “Me.” I point at my chest before turning that same finger to them. “What is it with you two? Is she worth what they are putting you through?”
Nico flinches at my words, and Shiloh’s eyes widen, tears welling as she catches the meaning behind my words.
He must have thought I didn’t know. How could I possibly know if he’s used on the days I’m away?
It’s not a secret. I know things haven’t changed for Nico; if anything, it’s been getting progressively worse.
Shiloh thinks she did her big one, demanding her daddy to stop abusing the man she loves, but all she did was put a bigger target on his back.
“Does love make you this stupid?” I press my finger to my temple.
“Does it make you so reckless that you completely disregard yourself for the sake of it? Should I show her the price of this?” I reference the picture.
The color drains from his face, his anger fading to complete repulsion, and for a second, I wince.
“I know the price,” I say quietly, allowing my lungs to deflate with the breath. “Is she worth it?”
His reply comes quick, a vicious kick to my fucking heart. “She’s worth everything and more.”
I wish he could understand, there’s no use.
Being alive is better than being dead. In the end, Shiloh will never be his.
He’ll die, and she will still belong to someone else.
At least alive he could let go and find love again.
Find another fish that doesn't come attached to a shark.
Nico steps forward, shoulders squared and jaw tight.
His stance screams for violence… and hell, mine is giving in to it.
“What about you?” he spits, nose flaring as he puffs out his chest. “Is the power worth everything you’re losing?”
My head drops forward, a chuckle working its way up my chest. Humor—the only armor I have left.
“Got me there, but I get to choose.” Through my lashes, I meet their gazes.
My voice is flat when my lips part to spew venom.
“I’m a prisoner in a golden cage. You.” The words catch, hesitation scraping my throat.
I swallow the poison anyway, hating myself for the blow I’m about to deliver.
He needs to see the seriousness of the situation.
See the wolf that hides beneath the sheep's clothing. Maybe then he would see the den of predators he’s walked into.
“You are disposable. Nothing.” Each word lands just as I intended it to. “Nothing but a body to use.”
“Thiago, what the fuck?” Shiloh shrieks before the palm of her hand connects with my cheek.
It's immediate, the reaction, and my hand wraps around her wrist. “Stop being such a spoiled bitch and playing with people’s lives. You get to pick, unlike him; you’re not disposable.
You love him, let him fucking go.” I sneer, just before Nico pushes me into the wall.
My back slams into the rows of clay masks mounted onto the wall. “Touch her again, Safra, and I’ll do more than push you around. Keep your nose out of my shit.”
Laughter bubbles up from somewhere deep, clawing its way through my throat until it rips free in a low and rumbling bark.
Slowly, I bring my hands together, clapping loudly at his words.
Tears prick the corner of my eyes, but I’m not sure if I’m crying from the guilt, for myself, or the complete stupidity behind his resolve.
A man so powerless thinks he can hurt me.
Hurt anybody in this place. My clapping grows louder, my patience long gone, and I let out all the frustration that has built inside me.
“Want me to stay out of it? Then leave her out of it. I’m your handler.
I control this. You are my business and the men that use you every Tuesday n—” My words are cut short by Nico’s fist connecting with my jaw.
The metallic tang of blood rushes into my mouth, and the urge to swing back has me grappling his shirt, pulling him into me.
Our noses collide, my lips curling into a sneer.
“You have no idea… No fucking idea,” is all I can manage to say before I push him towards her.
Shiloh looks at me but quickly turns away before our eyes meet again.
“If you truly loved him. You wouldn’t continue to put him in harm's way. It’s been enough, Shiloh,” I snap at her before storming out of the clay studio, kicking a discarded soda can into the nearest tree.
I want to scream; internally, I guess I am.