20. Xavier
TWENTY
XAVIER
S weat soaked my back and rolled down my forehead, my eyes glued to the artificial grass. I couldn’t decipher what was being said around me. I was trapped in a bubble so quiet it made goosebumps rise on my skin in awareness. When I finally looked around me, the first thing I noticed was Vane’s defeated stare, and the way his fingers dug into his scalp as he paced nervously in front of me.
This couldn’t be our reality. No. We had been two points ahead. We’d had the win in our hands, but it’d slipped through our fingers. We had celebrated too soon, and all we’d gotten was our win stolen from us.
We’d lost.
We’d fucking lost.
My jaw ticked, and my hearing seemed to return as a combination of cheers and boos surrounded me. While the boos were directed at the celebrating team by our fans, it felt like it was all for us.
I couldn’t look into the tribunes. I didn’t want to face everyone’s defeated expressions, let alone our coach.
We had lost, and there was nothing we could do.
“We’ll win next time,” Micah said to himself, but Vane reacted immediately.
Next time— a couple of our teammates had played in the Euro for the last time in their careers. So even if Micah had wanted to encourage the team, it hadn’t worked.
“ Next time, I won’t be here, you asshole,” Vane said. “This was my last chance to prove to my parents that this isn’t just a silly dream, it’s a career.” He crouched, threading a hand through his hair. “And now, I’ll be forced into the family business.”
I don’t know what had gotten into me, but the next thing I knew, I had stepped in front of him. “Get the fuck up.”
Vane glanced at me, unsure of what I was going to do, but he did listen to me, and stood tall.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and do whatever the fuck you want. You earn enough not to care about your family, or their business, for that matter.”
He shook his head. “You know it’s more than that.”
And I did. I knew that when he told his parents about his future plans, they made him sign a goddamn contract. He’d agreed that if his team wasn’t going to win this year’s championship, he was going to be part of their family business.
But I also knew if he wanted to get out of that contract, there would be a way to. There are good lawyers out there, and the son of a bitch could afford them.
“Good match, everyone,” I said, almost breaking teeth as I clenched my jaw.
They had played wonderfully—we all had. The synchrony was insane, and we had communicated better than ever. We would’ve held that trophy if I hadn’t let them get excited so early. There had only been ten minutes left, and we had been two points ahead. So, when I saw them playing with huge grins on their faces, instead of forcing them to wipe them off, I had joined them. I had taken the win when it hadn’t even been ours yet.
Even Isaac had been more level-headed than me. He’d assisted half of our goals, and while that made me proud, it also made me realize that maybe I wasn’t meant to be the captain of any team.
As I made my way off the field, a hand on my shoulder stopped me. When I looked back, Isaac was standing there, unsure what to do with the hand he had just removed from my body.
“Don’t blame yourself for it,” he said.
I squinted, wondering how the hell he’d read my mind. But I guessed it was all written on my face. I nodded, lingering on the spot for a moment before walking away.
We’d lost. I couldn’t believe we had actually lost.
As I turned back toward the changing rooms, I came eye to eye with her . I stopped in my tracks, blinking to make sure I’d gotten it right. With how defeated I felt, I could’ve imagined anything to make myself feel better.
Still, she remained there. She didn’t look sad, nor disappointed. Arianna was simply there, ready to offer me comfort if I needed it.
“Arianna?” My voice came out so small as my steps carried me over to her. When I got closer and rounded the mass of people coming in and out, my eyes zeroed in on Giulia.
I didn’t know what to do or say, especially when I took in their outfits. Arianna wore my T-shirt, and Giulia had a blue bow in her red hair, which was spilling over a smaller version of Arianna’s shirt. They both wore my name and the number nine on their backs, and I just wanted to squeeze them to my chest.
They were here. Both of them had come to watch me play.
I grabbed Arianna’s hand. “You said you had another game in Munchen,” I said, then moved my attention to Giulia. “And you, did you come to watch me play?”
“Yup,” Giulia nodded, popping the last letter.
Arianna smiled. “Tell Xavier what you told me.”
The little one looked at her mother, who nodded at her, and then glanced back at me. “You sweat a lot.” She scrunched her nose, and we both started laughing.
“Giuli,” Arianna said after she was done laughing. “Tell Xavier you’re sorry.”
Giulia didn’t waste another second, and obeyed her mother. “I’m sorry you sweat a lot.”
I couldn’t help the genuine burst of laughter falling from my lips. Everyone turned their heads in our direction, but I couldn’t care less. I guessed it was weird to see a player who had just lost an important game laugh like that.
When the laughter died down, I got to my knees and faced Giulia. “Would it be better if I came back after I showered?”
She nodded. “Yeah. It’s gross, and it stinks.”
“Got it.” I smiled, then bumped fists with her.
I wanted to kiss the shit out of her mother for raising such an adorable kid. When I got back to my feet, I met Arianna’s eyes.
“How come you’re here?”
She bit her lip. “I quit my job, Xavier. I want to spend more time with Giulia, and it was time to give my knees a break.”
The confession took me by surprise. I knew she had been at war with herself over her job and her daughter, but she had never mentioned the idea of not doing anything related to football. I knew how much she loved it.
I blinked, not really knowing if I should congratulate her or not, but she didn’t give me a chance to say anything.
“We’re proud of you,” she told me, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “That’s what Giulia said after they blew the final whistle.”
And right then, even with dozens of disappointed people walking past us, and the memory of what had happened today, I felt like the luckiest man alive.