Chapter 23
Penny dragged the dense ciabatta bread around her plate, soaking up every delicious drop of sauce. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
“It’s hard to reach this age and not know how to cook at least one date-worthy meal,” Bash said, topping off her wine.
“Is that what this is? A date?” Penny hoped she sounded cool as she reached for her glass. She wanted this to be a date, or at least a fresh start for them. She liked Bash a lot, maybe even loved him, and for the first time, she wanted to see where a relationship went. Bash Vander Vetter was more interesting than a book.
“Do you want it to be?” he asked.
“Yes, I think I do.”
“Good, because I didn’t buy the flowers for my roommates, and I didn’t slave over a hot stove, making mea culpa pasta sauce for them.” The corner of his mouth quirked up, and Penny laughed.
“I’d think they’d dine on that daily, what with living with you.”
“They’re no saints, either,” he grumbled.
“Saints are overrated,” Penny said, leaning forward. Bash’s eyes widened and Penny was pleased she hadn’t changed when George had pointed out the deep V-neck of her sweater, while muttering something about chastity belts needing to make a comeback.
She fiddled with her wineglass, savoring the moment. No man had ever cooked for her. He’d draped a white tablecloth and scattered votive candles and several short vases filled with roses over the sturdy kitchen table. The dim lights masked the dirty dishes in the sink behind him. It wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t care. Bash fiddled with his napkin and his leg bouncing under the table.
“Say it,” she said as he set his wine aside and took a hearty drink of his ice water.
“What?”
“Whatever you’ve been trying to say for the last few minutes. You’re fidgeting and you keep opening and closing your mouth like there’s something you want to say, but the words won’t come.”
“Are you ready for dessert?” he asked, and disappointment knocked her back. Two steps forward, one step back. He’d pulled out all the stops for a romantic dinner, surprising her at every turn and lulling her into a fantasy.
“I don’t think I could eat another bite.”
“Not even tiramisu from Allegra’s?” Of course, he had her favorite dessert from the famous Italian restaurant in New York City. He’d thought of everything. Except telling me to save room for dessert.
“Did you even make the sauce, or did you order that from them, too?” she teased, needing to break the mood. He was acting like the old-Bash, tense and reserved.
“I learned the sauce from a chef we had, but since Allegra was shipping the tiramisu, I added the pasta. Even frozen, fresh is better than dried,” he said, gathering their dishes and carrying them to the sink. Penny drained her wine.
Are you sure he’s worth the challenge?she asked herself for the umpteenth time. They were from different worlds. He knew fresh pasta from boxed. He’d grown up with nannies and chefs on the upper west side. She’d grown up eating boxed pasta and jarred sauce thrown together by either her mom or dad until Maggie took over. Penny had never met a stranger, but Bash was reserved. Am I kidding myself? We have nothing in common. Panic seized her as reality hit her over the head. He’s breaking up with me.
Her stomach dropped as she watched him limp to the sink. The Tetons had won their two away games, the last in overtime, but it had cost them. My beaten warrior, she thought sadly, because after tonight he wouldn’t be hers. Penny wished she had Maggie’s skill with soft tissue. She knew her sister could ease his pain, but the thought of Maggie laying her hands on Bash had Penny seeing red, even if he was breaking up with her.
“Let me help,” Penny said, shifting him to the side. She should leave now, but she didn’t want to leave him with this mess. It looked like he’d dirtied every pot and pan. “I’ll rinse while you load, and after I wash the pans, I’ll go.” Tears pricked her eyes.
Bash turned off the water. “Why?”
“Because this won’t work. There’s something bothering you and if you’re not comfortable telling me, then we’re wasting our time.” She sniffled and Bash swore.
“You’re what’s bothering me.”
“I rest my case.” Penny threw the dish sponge in the sink and the white suds hit his face.
“I’m trying to be cool and sophisticated, but I’ve never cooked dinner for a woman before, and I’m trying to eat without drooling all over myself, because while you always look beautiful, tonight you look, I don’t know… I can’t even find the words, and I’m trying to find the courage to ask you to stay, but I don’t know what I’ll do if you say no.” He sagged against the counter, as if his outburst had drained him, and wiped the bubbles from his face with a nearby towel.
“Oh,” Penny said, realizing this wasn’t a break-up dinner and wishing she could come up with something more eloquent than oh. He wants me to stay?
“I had a flowery speech prepared to give you over dessert, but I panicked.”
“You’ve never cooked for a woman?”
“I haven’t been in a relationship since college, and since then, well, it’s always been temporary, with clear boundaries and expectations.” Penny understood those. Her life was littered with them. Until now.
“We’re in a relationship?” Her voice cracked.
“Aren’t we?” he asked, snagging his fingers in the top of her jeans and tugging her closer. Penny went willingly.
“No one’s ever called me beautiful,” she said, twisting a button on his shirt.
“Beyond beautiful, and it’s further proof that the world is filled with idiots.” His voice was low and growly, and Penny struggled to breathe as her heart pounded against her chest. He kissed the freckled trail that ran over her cheeks and Penny felt beautiful. “And I’m their king.” He rested one hand on her hip and the other tilted her chin. “I’m sorry you were blindsided. I should have told you.” Bash didn’t clarify which mistake. It hung over them like a dense fog, and Penny knew the only sunlight to burn it off would be her forgiveness and acceptance.
“Yes, you should have.” Penny couldn’t to let him off the hook about not telling her about his parentage no matter how badly she wanted to get back to the kissing.
“I was wrong.” He looked uneasy and two blotches of red covered his cheeks.
“Yes, you were.” Bash paled and sagged against the counter, looking queasy, and Penny grabbed the front of his shirt. “Are you okay?”
He blew out a breath. “I’m a virgin apologizer.”
His admission didn’t surprise her, and she smirked. “How was it?” she asked, enjoying his playful side.
“Horrid, but was it good for you?” His hand flexed on her hip and his color returned. Crisis averted.
Penny smiled as her hand splayed across his chest, feeling the solid muscles beneath the crisp cotton. She shrugged, saying, “Eh, not bad for your first time.” They stared at each other, and amusement danced in his eyes. Bash was many things, but boring wasn’t one of them.
“Stay.”
“On the couch?” she asked, playing dumb.
“In my bed. Cal’s at the ranch, and if Lucas’s groveling goes well, he won’t be home tonight.”
“And if it doesn’t?” she asked, praying for Maggie’s sake it did.
“He’s discreet.” Bash had cooked dinner for her, ordered her favorite dessert, called her beautiful, and apologized. He’d planned and executed a seduction trap for her. What he lacked in words he more than made up for in action.
“I’m worried.” She bit her lower lip and felt him tense under her hand.
“About?”
“If apologizing isn’t the only V-card, you’ll lose tonight.” He laughed and pulled her against him as his hand slid under her blouse. His fingers were warm and calloused, and Penny wanted to feel them everywhere.
“Maybe you should find out?” he said, nuzzling her neck.
“Maybe I should.” Penny screeched as Bash threw her over his shoulder, complaining as he limped down the hallway and tossing her unceremoniously on the bed. For the rest of the night, Bash made sure that was her only complaint.
Bash stopped mid-whistle to yawn, but the exhaustion was worth breaking his rules. He had no problems breaking other people’s rules—they were usually stupid—but his were purposeful: only one alcoholic beverage a week when he was training, at least eight hours of sleep a night, lots of water, and no sex or dating during the season. At least I stayed hydrated, he thought, returning to his whistle as he carefully turned the bacon, wishing he’d thrown a shirt on for protection against the grease splatters. Penny had looked perfect sprawled across his bed, and he hadn’t wanted to wake her. He’d take a nap after she left, unless she called in sick, which he doubted. Penny was loyal and responsible, and exactly what he needed.
She kept him on his toes. Penny never held back from calling him on his BS, and he respected her for it. Penny made him a better man, and Bash felt like a sap for thinking it.
“Hey.” Bash turned mid-whistle, and the tune died on his lips. Penny wore a contented smile and one of his t-shirts, exposing lots of skin. “I could get used to a half-naked man cooking me breakfast,” she said, stealing a piece of crispy bacon from the plate next to him and nibbling on it. Bash remembered the way she’d nibbled on him last night, and heat shot to his groin.
“Really?” he asked, turning off the burner and pulling her closer. The last thing he needed was to set off the smoke detector. Penny melted into him, and he relaxed, like he always did. When she was near, his mind settled, and he could sort his thoughts.
“Really.” She kissed him, tasting of bacon and his toothpaste. He lifted her up, and Penny wrapped her legs around him as Bash turned and set her on the counter. It was bad enough he’d carried her to his bedroom last night. He didn’t need to further injure his leg by holding her up as they feasted on each other. She sighed when he kissed his way to her temple before resting his forehead on hers as he caught his breath.
“Marry me,” he said. Penny startled and leaned back. Bash was sure his expression matched hers. He’d thought about marriage. Eventually, if he found the right woman.
“Did you just propose?”
“I think so.”
“You think so?” Her voice raised to the annoyed agitated tone she used right before an argument. He didn’t want to argue with her.
“Sure. Yes. Marry me,” Bash said, pacing between the island and her. And she says I can’t think on my feet. “We can go to Vegas today.” He clasped her hands. “Marry me and we can start every morning like this.” He smiled, liking the idea of starting each day with her looking satisfied and rumpled.
“Why?” She looked wary, but she sounded interested.
“Because we suit.”
“We suit?”
“Are you planning to parrot me all morning? Because if you are, I’ll toss in dirty words and sexy promises to make it more interesting.”
“No, I’m hoping by hearing it in my voice it might make sense,” she said.
“And does it?” Her hands felt like ice in his and he hoped next time he’d remember to turn up the furnace. Their three-large-men heat setting didn’t work for a barely dressed woman.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“It does,” he argued. “We have common interests and goals, and we enjoy each other’s company. Marriage makes perfect sense.” Penny hopped off the counter and stood behind one of the kitchen chairs. Bash didn’t know why she needed the space, but if it helped her think, he’d give it to her.
“What about love?”
“What’s love got to do with it?”
Her eyebrows hit her hairline. “What’s love got to do with a marriage proposal?” Her voice screeched. “Only everything.”
Bash snorted. “Don’t be na?ve. How many weddings have you been to where the couple is still together? I’m at less than half, so I’d argue love has little to do with a successful marriage.”
“Then they chose wrong. A marriage needs the things you listed, but it also needs love and trust and honesty, and we’re not there.”
“I thought you were past that,” Bash said, realizing he’d have to work for this win.
“I am, but it’s a fresh wound, and it’s still healing. I’m trying.”
“Try harder. I did.” He was sure once Penny was aware of her betrayal, she’d heal quicker. It was a twisted tit-for-tat strategy.
“What’s that mean?” Penny’s knuckles were white against the chair’s dark wood. Don’t push her. Penny was apt to say no just to spite him.
“You forgot to mention you’re a witch.” Penny opened her mouth, but he held up his hand. “Don’t deny it. I saw you float a mug and a book across the room. I’d have stayed there all night watching you, but that damn cat busted me. Can you read minds? Is that why you’re so good at your job?” Now that she knew he knew, he could finally ask all the questions that had percolated in his brain since that night. In his saner moments, he questioned the wisdom of being involved with a witch, but he didn’t want to lose Penny because of it. If she could put up with his Bash-ness, he could deal with herbs and spells and whatever else her witchiness entailed.
“Moods. I read moods and feelings, and I can sense what people want.” She slumped in the chair as her legs and voice gave out.
“Then you know I want you and I’m sincere about this proposal.” Penny laid her head on the table. She hadn’t left the room, and Bash took it as encouragement. “Do you know when we kiss, sparks fly around us?”
“It’s just physical,” she said, not raising her head.
“Bull. We have something solid.” Bash grabbed a Tetons sweatshirt from the couch. From the stain on the front, he guessed it was Cal’s, but the room was suddenly cold, and he didn’t want to leave to get a clean one. Bash yanked the blanket off the couch and draped it around Penny. She didn’t move or say thank you. He couldn’t believe it was taking her this long to say yes. “Fine, if you’re not ready for marriage, at least come back to New York with me.”
She lifted her head and looked at him like he was another species. “I just can’t come back to New York with you. I have responsibilities. A business. My family is here.” She sounded slightly unhinged.
“Elspeth is just as good at sales as you are and you can do your management work remotely. Your family can visit, and we’ll be back in July for training camp.” He sat next to her, and she wrapped the blanket around her. “Penny, you belong in New York with me. We can use what you’ve done at Get Lost and roll it out to other bookstores. What you’ve done there is incredible, but you were meant for bigger things. You’re like a cardinal wearing sparrow feathers, so you blend with the flock, but you’re too bright to hide.”
She pulled the blanket tighter around her. “I’m sure you meant that as a compliment. I thought you liked it here.”
“I do. It’s great, but it’s not New York. Everything you could ever want is there. You’d be happy.”
“I’m happy here,” she said, sounding lost.
“But it isn’t what you want, either. I can give you that. We’re a perfect team.”
“I’m not ready to settle.” A tear trickled down her cheek and his stomach clenched. He couldn’t argue with tears. “You’re right, though. We do have a lot in common, but if I marry someone, it will na?vely be for love.” Her voice cracked at the end. She stood and gave him a tight smile as she swiped at her cascading tears. “It sounds like you’re looking for a business partner, but you can hire someone for that. Don’t insult me with an impromptu marriage proposal.”
“Then how about a long visit? A week or two? We can take it day by day and see how it goes.” It wasn’t when he wanted, but he’d compromise if this was what she needed to get comfortable with his plan. Bash was sure once she was in New York, all her reservations and concerns would melt. “Please. Come visit.”
“My life is here.” She stood and kissed him softly. Bash tasted her tears and felt the dampness on her cheek. Her sweet kiss pierced hot and jagged through his hopes and dreams. “I’m sorry, Bash.” He watched her walk away, wishing he could dump his sorry ass, too.