5. Five
Five
Seth
I fucked up.
There’s no denying it as Ty’s eyes avoid mine at the next practice. I should’ve stopped it before we got to my bedroom. It was stupid to go along with it just for the chance to see Ty naked and hard. Joke’s on me. It was pure fucking torture not to drop to my knees right next to that random chick and suck him off.
Now he won’t even look at me. Probably serves me right, lusting after a straight guy. Of course, now I only want him more. I jerked off in the shower the morning after, thinking about what could have happened if it had only been the two of us.
Nothing.
Nothing would have happened, Seth. He’s straight. I remind myself for the thousandth time.
I’m so utterly screwed.
Somehow, I make it through practice without making a total fool of myself. As I’m grabbing my things, a message chimes on my cell phone. A glance at the screen tells me it’s from the tutoring center. I’m scheduled to meet up with a new client at the library in an hour. If I clicked the message, I’d see more information like a name, but I don’t bother. There’s enough to go by from the short bit that popped up on my notifications. It’ll give me enough time to drop off my things in my room and grab a quick bite to eat before meeting up with whoever it is.
My mind has mostly switched track, trying to recall what I need for the tutoring session. I’ve stopped thinking about Tyler and how I’m gonna fix all this. Maybe it’s because I’m distracted that I don’t even notice Ty until I almost walk right into him. He’s standing at the counter of the library talking to Bethany. “There he is now,” she says. “This is Seth Miller; he’ll be your tutor.”
Avery freezes, his eyes locking with mine as his face pales. His jaw tightens as he grits his teeth, and I can tell he’s a second away from calling off the whole thing. He’s either about to request a new tutor or decide he doesn’t need one after all. He turns away from the counter, but instead of heading for the exit, walks to one of the empty group study tables.
“Thanks, Bethany. I got it from here.” I turn my attention to Tyler, but he’s still sitting in the same spot. I pull out the chair across from him, figuring that’s a safer option than sitting next to him. “I can ask them to assign you another tutor if you want. It’s okay if you don’t want to work with me after—”
“Can we not talk about that here?” Ty cuts me off. It goes unsaid that he probably doesn’t want to talk about it at all. “It’s bad enough getting you as a tutor. You’re probably just going to rub it in that you know the material better.”
A sigh escapes my lips before I can help it. “No, I wouldn’t. It’s one thing to joke about your shitty pool skills, but I’m not gonna tease you about this. Besides, we’re teammates. If your grades drop, you can’t play. That hurts the entire team.”
Ty eyes me suspiciously, but then he settles from the edge of his chair to sit more comfortably. He grabs his book bag and pulls out a binder, opening it to show me his Biology homework. “We can give it a shot. I need a tutor either way. I guess I can always ask for a new one if you become an issue.”
“Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt,” I joke.
Ty rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t stop him from moving the paper so I can see it better. “This is the part I’m struggling with,” he says, getting right to the point. “There’s so much to remember about which parts of the cell are where and plant cells versus animal cells. I can’t keep track of it all.” He points to a diagram of a plant cell with lines to label all the various parts. Most of it is still blank and a couple of the answers he’s filled in aren’t even right.
“You know the same picture is in the textbook, right?” I pull out my tablet to open the e-textbook the professor uses for the course.
“Of course, I know that. Copying it from the textbook is great for homework and all, but it’s not going to make me remember it when we get to testing.”
“Hey, chill.” My hand moves to Ty’s shoulder instinctively, hoping to calm him, but he tenses under my touch. “Sorry,” I say, pulling my hand away again. “Look, copy the answers from the textbook for now, and we’ll work on strategies you can use to memorize it. Note cards and stuff like that, but in general the more you look at the information and practice the easier it gets.”
Ty mutters something under his breath, but he grabs a pencil from his bag, erasing one of the wrong answers on the sheet. “Okay. So how does this work? I mean aside from the obvious answer of read the textbook, what other wonderful advice do you have for me?” He arches an eyebrow at me as the corner of his mouth curls into a smirk.
It’s a hint of our typical banter, but instead of reassuring me, I just want to kiss him. That threesome was a mistake. It’s only made it harder to ignore my attraction to Ty. I do my best to turn that part of my brain off and focus on the subject at hand. The same way I would with any other tutoring session. In the back of my mind though, I can’t help thinking it might be better for both of us if Ty asks for a different tutor.
Sitting next to him, it takes most of my focus to stick to the subject at hand. Despite the rough start, we manage a few pages of the textbook, and I explain the finer details without letting my mind wander. It’s odd how it almost feels comfortable. Tyler lightens up and relaxes as the minutes tick by. The thought crosses my mind of inviting him to dinner, but it’d be pushing my luck.
In the end, it’s Tyler who decides when we’re done. He glances at his watch and sighs. “Um, I need to get going, but can I see you again?”
“Yeah,” I agree. I pull out my phone to open my calendar and we work out another time to meetup. I guess it wasn’t too terrible if he wants to work with me again. We pack up our things and head for the exit, but as we’re about to part ways, I have to stop myself from pulling him in for a hug. He gives an awkward wave and pulls out his phone, focusing on it as he walks away.
Real smooth, Seth . I run my hand over my face and let out a heavy sigh. I can do this. I have to do this. I can be around Tyler and keep my fantasies to myself. Even if I can’t stop thinking of him, he doesn’t need to know.