22. Twenty-Two
Twenty-Two
Tyler
My thumb hovers over the on-screen keyboard of my phone. I don’t know what to type to Maddy. She hasn’t said anything about seeing me with Seth, and I don’t know how to start the conversation. I wasn’t planning on having this discussion any time soon. I shove my phone in my pocket, putting off the whole thing. I need to focus on tonight. I’ve gone right past worrying about the game to thinking about the aftergame party. Since the subject already came up, I’m really hoping I can convince Seth to fuck me. Over the past week, I’ve been experimenting with lube and my fingers to prepare. I’m amped and nervous all at the same time.
I take a deep breath and try to shake off the thought. I don’t need to walk into the locker room with a boner. The soccer shorts don’t hide anything, and I don’t need that kind of teasing from the guys. I’ve already been pushing it with Seth. It’s only a matter of time before someone on the team sees us together. Assuming no one has already. We aren’t exactly being careful in public. It’s a wonder Maddy didn’t see us together sooner. Maybe it’s for the best that I just bite the bullet and come out already. At least then I won’t have to worry about sneaking around anymore.
The locker room is packed with the rest of my teammates in various states of undress. I ignore it for the most part as my eyes search out Seth. It doesn’t look like he’s here yet, but that’s not a huge deal. I shrug off my bag, opening my locker and pulling out what I need for tonight’s game. I’m dressed and ready before Seth even shows up. Part of me is starting to worry, then he rushes in the room at the last moment. His eyes meet mine across the crowded room before he heads to his locker.
A few of the guys that are ready are already huddled by the door, getting pumped for the game. I join them and try to take my mind off Seth. Now isn’t the time to think about what we’ll be doing later tonight. We’ve got a game to play.
Walsh slaps me on the back as I join the group. He’s already strategizing, and I let his voice wash over me as I take it in. When Seth joins us, he still doesn’t look my way. I’m trying not to let it bug me, but it’s clear when the game starts that Seth’s head is somewhere else. The other team gets possession of the ball heading right for our goal, and Seth fumbles. Luckily, Koch blocks the shot, passing the ball to one of the other guys on defense. It’s the semi-finals of the regionals and we can’t afford to slack off. The other team wants the win as badly as we do. By the end of the first half, the score is tied at zero, no thanks to Seth. He’s been distracted all game, and it’s throwing me off. I don’t even bother to care what the other guys think as I approach him during the intermission.
“Whatever’s going on, you need to snap out of it. We’ve got a game to win.” I shove his shoulder, hoping to lighten the mood, but Seth grabs my wrist, pulling me closer.
“You think I don’t know that?” he snaps at me. Seth sighs, dropping my wrist. “Sorry.”
“What’s going on? Did something happen?”
Seth’s eyes meet mine and he leans closer. For a moment I almost think he’s going to kiss me then his jaw tightens. “You’re right. This isn’t the time. We need to get back on the field.”
I feel crappier than before as we resume our positions. Focusing on the ball is more than I can manage. When it comes my way, I quickly pass to Walsh. It’s a good thing there are more players on the field than Seth and me. Walsh moves down the pitch, avoiding the other team as he goes. His eyes are on the goal when he kicks the ball, and the goalie runs to meet it. The ball hits the net, and we score.
The game ends with a score of 1-0 in our favor, but it doesn’t feel like a win. I’m caught up on Seth’s foul attitude and wondering what the hell is going on. He doesn’t look at me as we walk into the locker room. Some of the guys cheer and high five, pounding each other on the back in celebration, but Seth ignores it, going right for his locker. I follow suit, skipping the shower and changing out of my jersey. I don’t want to risk the chance of Seth leaving without me. Like me, he doesn’t bother with a shower; he doesn’t even strip off his uniform, opting to shove his things in his bag instead. We fall into step with each other as we leave the room.
“You gonna tell me what’s going on now?” I ask when we’re outside.
“Maybe it’s better if we call this whole thing off,” he says, not waiting for an answer as he walks off.
I stop walking, sure that I heard him wrong. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean it was fun, but I think you got your answer. You’re bi or whatever, and you can go find a real boyfriend instead of screwing around with me.” Seth’s voice catches as he talks, fumbling at the words.
“Is this about my sister finding out? I don’t care if she knows.”
“It’s not about Maddy. Dammit, Ty. This was always supposed to just be us fooling around. We went into this knowing that. You should save sex for someone you like.” Seth is walking again, heading for Greek Row and I do my best to keep up with him.
“This is about sex?” My eyebrows raise.
“I’ve never been someone’s first, and if this is just to scratch an itch, I don’t think we should.”
“Did you have feelings for the first guy you were with?” I turn the tables, already sure of the answer. Seth’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything. “Can we take this conversation back to my room? Please, let’s just talk.” I don’t get it. I don’t understand what’s changed.
“What about the party?” he asks.
“Screw the party. We both know we were going to sneak off to your room anyway. We’re just skipping a few steps.” I hold out my hand to him, but Seth doesn’t take it. We’re nearly at his frat, and the music is loud enough to hear from here. He glances at his house before looking back at me. “Come on, please, just come back to my room and talk to me.”
Seth shakes his head slowly before he lets out a sigh. “Fine.”
A few of my brothers look at us with raised eyebrows as we enter the house, but we ignore them, heading straight for my room. Seth opens his mouth to say something, but I don’t give him a chance. My mouth slams into his. I grab his shoulders, pushing him toward my bed, and when Seth’s knees hit it, he falls back. I climb onto the mattress, moving to straddle his body with mine. “It’s my choice who I have sex with. You don’t get to give me some speech about saving myself for someone else. As if this whole thing didn’t start with us having a threesome.”
Seth laughs, shaking his head at me before he kisses me again, taking the time to draw it out. “I’m not saying I don’t want to. Ty, I want more, okay? I don’t want to just be the guy you hook up with in secret. I don’t want you to introduce me as your teammate. I want to be able to kiss you and not care who sees us.”
“You want to date me?” I ask, my heart beating faster in my chest. “You want to be my boyfriend?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to have sex with no strings attached. I like you and want to be your boyfriend. If you’re interested in that.”
I answer him with another kiss. “Yes, I want that too.” Our lips and tongues clash, until I feel something hard pressing into my thigh. “Does that mean you’ll fuck me?”
“Yes,” Seth answers with a chuckle.