Chapter 14
I expect to roll over the next morning to find a half dozen apologetic texts. Maybe even an I’m sorry selfie featuring his puppy-dog eyes. But there is one lone text from my mom, responding to the photo I sent her and my dad yesterday of the sunrise.
Bellissima! she’s written, followed by a string of nonsensical emojis.
I heart her message right as that sick-to-my-stomach feeling returns in a rush. I am not about to go down the spiral of wondering if Wes lost his phone or somehow doesn’t have service. I know better. He’d seen my messages. He’d left me on read.
Nico is waiting in the lobby, our tour guide and escort for the day, hair still damp from his morning shower.
I fall behind Mari and Anya and give him left-right cheek kisses before following the group out of the front entrance.
He frowns at me like he’s surprised by something, but I’m too glum to ask what.
I hang back as we walk the long path to the train station, not saying very much at all.
This time, navigating the station is a breeze. Nico guides us through buying tickets at the kiosks. We’re waiting on the platform when our train arrives.
“Is everything okay, Sora?” Mari asks once we settle into a foursome of seats.
“Just tired.” I recline my seat as far as it will go and lean my head against the cool window glass as the countryside blurs by. I wish I could appreciate the fields of wildflowers we pass, but I’m numb to it. I can’t believe I’m on this merry-go-round again. I had promised myself.
“It’s a beautiful day, though!” Mari says, overly bright, trying to catch my eye.
“It is,” I agree, with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.
“Cookie?” Mari extends a roll of Grisbì lemon crème cookies she picked up from the convenience store.
She’s been going to town on them like Cookie Monster unleashed, and little lemon crumbs are stuck in her red lipstick.
I try to come up with something funny to say about it, but draw a blank, which only makes me feel worse.
“No thanks.” I turn to look back out the window.
“But you love these! You’re the only person in the world who likes the lemon Girl Scout cookies best.” Mari looks like I’ve just told her Santa isn’t real. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“I’m not hungry, that’s all.” It isn’t a lie, either. My appetite has completely disappeared. “Maybe later?”
I intercept a shared look between Anya and Mari.
They know something is up. My emotions have always played out all over my face.
Even Nico is casting worried looks in my direction.
I throw my sweatshirt over my face and lean my head against the window so their view is blocked, and they will be forced to stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with me.
The train to Pompeii is close to forty minutes, which is long enough that it’s not reasonable to pretend to nap but short enough that I cannot be cornered into a full-on interrogation.
I hate that my heart leaps every time my phone screen lights up.
I hate it. Because it’s never him. And it only reminds me that I’m such a fool.
The train crawls to a stop at our destination.
I glance at my phone one last time when it vibrates, but of course it’s a spam text about some flash sale.
I fumble to turn my phone on airplane mode.
I will not let this be ruined because Wes is up to his old tricks.
I will not allow it. I’m taking control.
Of the situation, of the day, and my life.