54
Valentina
My phone lights up in the middle of class with a text message. I glance at the professor, then slip it into my hand and try to hide it under the table as I read the message from Huxley.
Huxley: Sorry, Love, I’ll be late to pick you up. We have to get all these presentations done today, and this damn professor won’t let any of us leave until that happens.
We’ve been okay since our mini-fight in the classroom a few days ago. Plus, I’ve been telling myself that the deal doesn’t exist. It’s not smart, but I’m becoming numb to it now.
I glance up at my professor again, who is talking more to the whiteboard than to us.
Valentina: That’s alright. I’ll see you when you get here. My lips will just have to be lonely for a little while longer.
I bite the inside of my cheek to try to tamp down my smile.
Only a second passes before a reply comes through.
Huxley: Fuck Valentine, don’t say that. Now I want you even more.
Valentina: Patience, baby.
I put my phone back on my desk and try to listen to my professor talk about some war that happened however many years ago.
I really don’t know how Ava, of all people, can sit through this and have it as her major.
That girl has the attention span of a toddler and the memory of a goldfish, but somehow passes all of her classes with flying colors. Truly a mystery that one.
My phone lights up again, and with the professor passionately talking to her notes, I don’t bother to hide it this time.
Huxley: The first time you call me baby is over text? I fully expect you to call me that in person now. And that’s not a want, it’s a need.
My smile pushes through as I type.
Valentina: Okay, baby. I can do that.
Huxley: Your lips will never be lonely again once I finally get to you, Love. Be prepared.
Valentina: I’m already ready, baby.
I start to put my phone down when one more message comes through.
Huxley: Fuck.
I set my phone down and look up at the clock. 20 more minutes left, and who knows how long it will take Huxley to get here with his class. Despite all that, I feel myself looking up at the clock every two seconds, hoping more time has gone by.
When our professor excuses us, I’m practically running out of there. It isn’t until I’m outside that I remember that Huxley will be late. So I find a partial wall that I’ve seen Huxley sit on before when he waits for me, and I pull myself up.
My eyes constantly scan my phone, waiting for a message from Huxley that he’s coming. When it finally rings, my smile pulls to the point of aching when I see the name that pops up.
“Will Jenson,” I say to my brother.
“What’s up, Tina?”
Overwhelming waves of calm move through me at hearing his voice. Throughout our lives, we’ve always had to rely on each other the most. When Will left for New York, I thought we were going to lose what we always had. Thankfully, that never happened.
“It feels like forever since we’ve talked,” I say to him.
“We talked before the semester started, right? So not too long ago.”
I shrug. “I guess you’re right.”
“So, how’s Senior year?”
“It’s…” The past few months pass through my mind—the parties, the deal, the stress. I stare down at my feet and kick them out a little. “It’s different.”
Understatement of the century right there.
“How so?”
I try to think of something more specific to tell him, but I come up blank. “I don’t know. I think I’m just different now. Happy maybe.”
I look up from my feet, and my eyes instantly fall on Huxley as he walks across campus. My smile comes easily when I see him, and as soon as he sees me, he smiles as well.
“You’re actually admitting that you’re happy?” Will’s surprised voice comes through the phone. “That’s amazing.”
Huxley comes up and rests his hands on either side of me. I bring my hand up and gently trace his jaw. “I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.”
“Hang up,” Huxley whispers.
I move my phone away from my mouth and whisper back, “Brother.”
He groans, and I try not to laugh at him being dramatic.
“Well, I’m glad you’re getting to a better place,” Will says. “A few years ago was—”
“I know,” I cut him off softly. Huxley frowns at the sadness in my voice. My hand on his face falls to his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Well, I actually have a reason for calling you,” Will tells me.
“I thought the reason was that you love your big sister?” I tease. Huxley smiles, but it’s weak. I squeeze his hand again, and a more genuine smile forms, but I can’t pretend I didn’t see the pain in his eyes over what I said.
I can tell he wants to fix his relationship with his family, but I also know he doesn’t know how. If I knew, I’d tell him. But my own family is a bit too broken for me to start giving advice.
“True,” Will says. “But I love my big sister so much that I sort of got her a ticket to see me over Thanksgiving break.”
“Are you serious?!” I jump down quickly, startling Huxley with my movements. I gently place my hand on his chest and listen to Will continue.
“You will be spending this next week with me and JJ in our gorgeous New York apartment.”
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” I bounce on my toes. “Yes. Oh my god. I can’t wait.”
“And we live in front of a Macy’s,” Will adds. “You know what that means.”
“Oh fuck yes. We haven’t done that in so long.”
“You’re never here during Thanksgiving.”
I shake my head, still not believing I’ll be seeing him soon. “I can’t wait,” I tell him. “I seriously can’t wait. I want to leave now.”
Huxley grabs my hand, pulling my attention back to him. There’s a hint of fear in his eyes that I don’t understand. I step closer to him and run my hand down his arm to hopefully calm those feelings. He relaxes enough to make me feel better, so I give my attention back to Will.
“Well, I’ve sent you all the information, so you should be set,” Will says with some of the excitement I’m feeling. “I can’t wait to see you, Tina.”
I smile. “I can’t wait to see you, too.”
“All right, you should go pack. Bye, Tina.”
“Bye, Will.” I hang up and look at Huxley, some of my excitement leaving me when I see his eyes.
“You’re leaving?” he asks softly, his fear edging into his words.
I slightly nod, more excitement leaving me. “My brother got me a ticket to New York for Thanksgiving break.”
He nods once, his eyes falling from mine.
“Hey.” I reach up and brush my fingers through his hair. “Are you okay?”
He nods again with a weak smile attached. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I sound so down about this.” Neither do I. “This is great. You get to see your brother.”
I bounce on my toes with renewed excitement. “I know.”
A soft, more genuine smile spreads on Huxley’s face. “You really love him, don’t you?”
“Probably more than anyone,” I admit.
Huxley wraps his arms around me and gives me a look that sends shivers down my spine and turns my excitement into butterflies in my chest.
“When do you leave?” he asks with a deeper voice.
I pull in a shaky breath. “I don’t know, actually. He said he sent me all the details, so I’ll have to check.”
“Well, hopefully, it’s not too soon.” He leans down and whispers in my ear, “Because you still owe me.”
“Kiss me then, baby,” I breathe out.
Huxley shoots back up. “No. You have to say that while I’m looking at you to count.”
I grab his shirt and pull him close. “Kiss me, baby.”
“Fucking hell.”
I giggle as he leans down to kiss me. His hands grip my waist, pulling me in closer, and I let my arms rest easily over his shoulders, relaxing into the kiss, never wanting it to end. Before the kiss can get too deep, Huxley moves his attention to my jaw, leaving soft kisses there.
“Huxley,” I warn breathlessly.
He continues his actions, not even pulling away as he says, “I don’t care if people are watching.”
I shake my head, but he keeps his lips on me. “No, I have to pack.”
“You said you don’t know when you leave.” He bites my neck, my fingers gripping his hair tightly in response.
“I still have to figure a lot of things out.” I pull in a deep breath, but his lips on my neck make it shudder again. “My flight. The weather. Clothes.”
He leans back and stares down at me. “Give me an hour of your time.”
I lift my finger between us. “One hour.”
He kisses my finger. “Maybe two.”
“Huxley,” I warn, more sternly this time.
“An hour and a half?” he tries.
I roll my eyes. “Fine.”
The worst part of getting used to Huxley being around me is not being able to pull away when I need to do something.
Like pack. Which I was supposed to start two and a half hours ago.
I sigh and sit up in bed, pulling my computer into my lap and opening up Will's message to check my flight information. Huxley sits up behind me, his hand tracing over my shoulders before he pulls my hair over to one side, his lips finding the other.
I lean into his touch. “If you keep that up, I’ll be packing shorts for 30-degree weather,” I breathe out as his lips continue to trace over my skin.
“Just stay inside,” he mumbles against me. He pulls my shirt to the side to kiss my shoulder, and I’m ready to shove my computer away and just let him keep exploring me. But I have to pack.
I pull in a shaky breath as he slides his fingers softly up my arm to tangle them through my hair, pulling back slightly to expose my neck to him more.
“I’ve never been to New York during this time of year,” I rasp. “I want to see the city in the fall.”
His lips move back up my neck and toward my ear at a slow and teasing pace. “You know what I want to see fall?” he whispers.
“What?”
“You back onto this bed.” He pulls me on my back, grinning as he crawls over me. I laugh as he leans down, tracing his lips over my neck again. A whimper escapes my throat, making Huxley curse under his breath before he bites my skin gently, earning a deeper moan from me.
“I am so tempted to record you and use that sound as my ringtone.”
I shove him back, my eyes widening. “You will not.” He pouts, and even though that pulls at something deep inside of me, I shake my head. “No.”
He groans. “Fine. I guess hearing it during this is enough. For now.”
He lightly kisses my lips, but I grab hold of his shirt and pull him down closer to me, keeping our lips moving against each other.
I let myself fall into his presence and the calmness he grants me until I feel his hand on my hip. I’m getting better with his touch on my body, but right now, my mind starts kicking up fears of the later part that comes after this ‘For now.’
I pull back just enough to whisper, “Can I ask you a question?”
He nods, his nose gently brushing over mine. “Sure, Love.”
My fingers tighten in his hair as I realize what I’m about to ask him. “It’s a bit awkward.”
Huxley lifts himself to look down at me with concern. “You okay?”
“No, yeah, I’m fine,” I rush. “It’s just. I don’t know how you feel about certain things.”
Confusion inches in with his concern as he sits up next to me, pulling me with him. “What’s going on?”
I stare down at my hands, wishing I didn’t have to ask something like this. But Ava once told me that this was important. And since we’re getting closer, I need to know before I embarrass myself.
“I’m letting you see more of me. And at some point, things will move further than this.”
“Okay?”
I swallow roughly on the words I’m choosing to ask him. “And I was just wondering what you prefer.”
“Prefer?” I look up to see even more confusion on Huxley’s face. “Prefer for what?”
“How I look.” God, how do I explain this without having to say it? Why is it a big deal, though? And surely he doesn’t mind either way. But I’d rather conform to what he wants and let him enjoy himself too than ruin the moment by looking one way or the other.
“What are you asking?”
“What do you prefer?”
He sighs. “Baby, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I close my eyes and rip off the band-aid. “Do you want me to shave down there or not?”
Silence.
Minutes feel like they pass, and still, silence. I slowly open my eyes to see Huxley watching me with a soft expression.
“Valentina, listen to me.” He reaches forward and takes my hands in his. “Your body is your decision. Whatever you do is not up for me to decide.”
“But what do you prefer?” I ask again in a quiet voice. Just tell me, and I’ll change for you.
He frowns. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I had a preference, you shouldn’t change yourself because of that. You are allowed to do whatever you want to your body.”
I look down at our hands, feeling like a fool for this entire conversation. “But do you have some kind of expectation of me?”
Of course, he does. Why else would he be holding out for so long if he didn’t expect you to be perfect?
Huxley tips my chin back, bringing my eyes back to his. “The only expectation I have of you is you sounding as good as you do now.”
A small smile pulls at my lips while relief touches my chest. I don’t know why I was worried about what he thought of me. He’s been too understanding of everything else I’ve told him for him to want something like this to be specific.
Huxley smiles, keeping my focus on his face as his hand slides up my thigh. “It doesn’t matter what you look like, Love.” He grabs my thigh and pulls me closer, making me gasp as I brace myself against him. “As long as I’m the first man who sees you.”
His fingers just barely graze between my legs as he pulls his hand away. A soft moan leaves my lips from his touch, but he doesn’t push it. He brings his hand up to my face and pulls me into a kiss, pushing me back onto the bed as we fall back into the rhythm we were in before I asked my question.
His leg moves between mine, inching higher, spreading my legs wider, and I let him.
I let his hand fall to my chest while he kisses my neck.
I let him pull my shirt off my shoulders and kiss the exposed skin.
I even let him slip his hand under my shirt to hold my bare waist while his tongue dances with mine.
I let him take complete control of me.
And I never end up packing.