Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Zoe
David and I are meeting at the office this morning, and then we’ll share a car to the airport.
Having to bring my luggage to work annoys the shit out of me, but not as much as the anticipation this trip has caused me and my body.
My stomach is in knots, my head is a mess about what I should do, and this damn app keeps reminding me that I have a message to respond to because I haven’t clicked anything yet.
I know I can click that I want more time, but then what do I say? I can’t continue like we were, knowing it’s him. No matter how much I wanted to keep going with this online relationship, I don’t know if I can now. We have too much history, filled with hatred. How would that ever change to love?
It can’t, and it won’t. I need to just forget about it and move on.
I turn the corner, and of course he’s walking my way. Why we always seem to meet each other at the front door of our building is beyond me. It’s like it’s the universe’s way of showing me no matter what I do, I’m not in charge of what really happens in my life.
He holds the door open for me, which is a bit of a surprise, considering he was at least four steps ahead of me, but I guess slamming the door in my face isn’t a great way to start a trip together.
“Zoe.” He nods.
“David,” I respond, equally as businesslike.
We walk to the elevator and join the rest of the people waiting to start their day.
Once we reach our floor, he again allows me to go first, and we make our way to our office door, where he reaches around me to get the door as well.
These are all things he’s never done for me before, and it’s absolutely pissing me off. I should not see this side of him, knowing who he really is now. I kept him in this little box of hatred, and things were easier that way. Realizing he does have a soul is not okay.
“Our car will be here in an hour,” is all he says as he walks by my desk on the way to his.
I don’t respond. There’s no reason to. My mind is already a jumbled mess, and I’m afraid my words will come out the same way.
“You ready?” Jana asks with too much pep in her voice, so I stick my tongue out at her, which only makes her laugh. “Come on. This will be fun. I do expect play-by-play details though—you know that, right?”
“There will be nothing to tell you. We will barely talk to each other, we will stay as far away from one another as we can when traveling together, and our relationship of hatred will stay perfectly intact.”
“So, you’re really not going to tell him and just pretend like the last week of back-and-forth messages that lasted until two a.m. didn’t exist?”
“Yep. Sure am!” I pull out my chair and get started on my work before our car arrives.
I just got a notification that the driver is fifteen minutes out. Are you ready?
David emails me instead of walking over to my desk.
I don’t look his way, which would honestly just consist of me lifting my head. Instead, I reply to his email with a simple, Yes, then finish what I’m working on. I close everything down before packing my laptop in my bag.
“Good luck,” Jana singsongs while she types away on her computer.
I flip her off playfully while I gather my things then head to the door, figuring I’ll just wait for him downstairs.
Before I enter the elevator, he’s by my side.
“Is this how this entire trip is going to be? You ignoring me?” he asks, and my heart sinks.
I can’t say anything because my eyes well with tears I didn’t know I had in me, so I shrug as my response.
“Zoe, you have to get over what I did. I’ve apologized, and don’t forget that I saved the client. You’re still here, going on this trip, to help with the project because she liked your work. The work that I made sure she knew was yours …”
“Yes, I know,” is all I can get out as I slide my sunglasses on to hide my true feelings on this entire situation.
I knew this trip was going to be awkward, but I didn’t realize it was going to be this hard, and we haven’t even left the building.
When we get to the street, the car is there, waiting for us. The driver takes our bags to load into the trunk, and David, again, reaches over to open the door for me, making me want to swat his hand away.
He cannot be this nice to me!
I climb in the car, and he follows. Sitting this close to him causes my heart to pound, so I scoot over as far as possible to the other door. His chuckle shows my attempt to get away from him did not go unnoticed.
We drive in silence to the JFK Airport with the soft hum of the radio filling the space around us.
I stare out the window, wondering if I should just fake being sick to get out of this trip altogether.
If I can’t make it to the airport without feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack, how am I going to make it for three days?
We pull into the airport drop-off and exit the vehicle. David hands me my bag, then takes out his wallet to tip the driver before grabbing his own bag from him.
“Let me get you some cash to split the tip,” I say, reaching into my purse, but he waves me off.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure the tip was worked in through the app set up by Christina, but I just wanted to make sure. That’s on me,” he responds, then motions for me to go ahead of him toward the building.
I grab my bag and wheel it next to me as I make my way to the escalator since neither of us needs to check a bag and we can just carry on the small luggage we have.
At security, David pulls out a tray, handing it to me for me to put my stuff in. We both load our items and walk through security with no trouble.
“I’m going to get a coffee before we board the plane. Do you want anything?” David asks.
I shake my head, even though I’d actually love a cup of coffee, but I need a little space from him more than coffee.
“I’ll head toward the gate and meet you there,” I respond.
He nods in acknowledgment, and then we head our separate ways. I instantly take my phone from my purse and call Macy.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I say, panicked, as my hello.
Her sigh into the phone is all I need to hear to know she feels my pain. “I take it, it’s too late to fake being sick?”
I let out a sharp laugh. “Believe me, I was very tempted to do just that the entire way here. Why is this so hard?”
“Do you want my honest opinion?”
I sit down on one of the chairs at our gate and rub my eyes. “Depends on if I’ll like what you have to say …”
“I think you really like this guy, and that’s why this is so hard.”
“I like the guy I was talking to on the app. I don’t like Work David.”
She laughs, making me drop my head back. “You do realize that they are the same person, right?”
“No! In my head, they are not!” My voice cracks.
“I’m sorry to say it, but they really are. Give the guy a chance. You might see how they are the same person.”
“But what if I do and he still sees me as the person he hates?”
“I really don’t think that will be the issue.”
I look up and see he’s picking up his coffee from where the barista set it and heading my way.
“He’s coming toward me. I have to go.”
“Just do me a favor and stop freaking out. This trip is happening for a reason. Let the universe guide you.”
“You know I hate you, right?”
“Love you too! Call me once you land.”
I laugh under my breath as I hang up the phone and tuck it in my purse before David sits next to me.
“It’s a long flight. I got you a muffin, just in case you got hungry. Chips or those Biscoff cookies can only hold you over for so long.” He hands the paper bag to me.
I take it and force a smile, feeling like an asshole.
Have I really always missed how considerate he can be, or is this all an act?
“Thank you. I wasn’t even thinking about that,” I honestly say.
My mind was so stuck on having to be on the trip with him that I didn’t even think about food.
“I guess you’ve made this flight a time or two, huh?” I ask.
He looks at me quizzically. “I didn’t know you knew I was from there.”
I internally kick myself.
Of course, Work Me wouldn’t know this because we’ve never truly had a personal conversation, but Jenelle from the app knows all about his hometown.
I try to play it off with an absolute lie, hoping he buys it. “Christina said you’re on the account because of your background. When I asked her what that meant, she said you were from there.”
I let out a sigh of relief when he nods.
“Yeah, I’ve made the mistake of not bringing food on the plane before, and it’s not fun. When we land, we can grab dinner before we head to the hotel. It’s about an hour drive, and there will be more options in Bozeman than in the small town we’re going to.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” I say even though I want to scream, No, no, no!
I didn’t think I’d have to actually eat with him on this trip!
“The time change really screws with people, so even though it’ll only be two there, it’ll feel like four to us and you’re going to be hungry for dinner.”
“Yeah, I’ve never really had to deal with that, but it makes sense.”
“You’ve never flown to a different time zone?” he asks in surprise.
“I mean, why would I? I’ve been to places on the East Coast. I’ve never had a reason to go to the West Coast or Midwest.”
“Where did you grow up then?”
“Here, in New York City.”
“Really?” he asks.
I have to hold back my laugh, knowing this is exactly how he reacted the first time I told him.
“Like, in Manhattan or—”
“In Queens,” I say, then instantly regret it by the way he pauses, like that triggered him in some way.
He stares off into space for a brief moment, then shakes the thought away and reaches for his laptop, making it clear he doesn’t want to talk anymore. “That’s cool,” he says nonchalantly as he opens the computer.
Seeing his reaction breaks my heart. Knowing I’ve hurt him makes me wonder even more what would happen if I told him who I really am.