Chapter 2 #2
She could be the catalyst that ends up healing the damaged part of me.
That isn’t fair to her. She shouldn’t have to spend her time on a project. Her love is chasing, and if she settles for me, she’ll resent me for asking her to stop.
Her resentment would be the death of me.
Why bother with falling in love when it wouldn’t be good for us?
No, Nariko. I don’t want you to go. I want to bind you to me for all eternity. You’re mine.
But I can’t say that, can I?
“I think it’s what’s best. I’m not trying to be rude. Apologies that it came off that way. I have a lot of animals on this ranch, and if you follow another tornado through here, you could end up getting hurt.”
“It’s impossible not to come through here at times,” Nariko explains. “How much of the property is yours?”
“Nearly three hundred acres.”
“Come on,” she groans, throwing her hands on her hips. “There has to be an agreement we can come to. We can credit your ranch in the videos. We will pay for access. Please, there has to be something we can do.”
I look down at her from Van Gogh, her big brown eyes pleading with me. I can sense her desperation in her blood, the yearning to do what she loves. There’s no mistaking the other scent though, the longing for me and not understanding why.
She takes a step forward, and my gums tingle so much I have to turn away. My eyes shift, and my fangs drop. Curling my fingers around the reins, I squeeze.
“We will wait in the car,” Ruka announces, and a few moments later, the doors slam shut, leaving me alone with my mate.
I can’t look at her again. I’m not strong enough to not give in to her. I want to give her everything. She wants the world? I’ll find a way to give it to her, but she doesn’t want the world.
She wants tornadoes.
“Nariko—”
“—Nari,” she corrects. “That’s what my friends call me.”
“I’m not your friend.”
I hear her gasp at how cruel it sounds. She doesn’t understand why my rejection hurts so much. And it doesn’t just hurt her. I’m seconds away from losing control, damning her to a life with me, and running far away where no one will ever be able to find us.
“Stay far away from me, Nariko. It’s the best thing you’ll ever do.” Keeping my head turned away, the rejection nearly makes me fall off Van Gogh. I press my hand against my heart, the pain unbearable.
I feel more right now than I did twenty years ago when I nearly died.
I whistle, nudging Van Gogh’s sides with my boots. He bolts forward into an immediate gallop. His hooves are loud, thumping almost as heavy as my heart. Tears blur my vision, and the ache of missing her has catastrophe ripping through my soul.
Between being able to feel her emotions and my own, the grief should be enough to kill a man.
But I’m no man, am I?
I’m a monster, and it’s best Nariko knows that now. She needs to live the life she deserves.
Her pain is unbearable. Even from a distance, her sniffles, the wave of immense sadness that she doesn’t understand, slam against me like a truck.
I grip my chest, the pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
I double over, gasping for breath. My vision blurs, and I grip the saddle horn to keep myself upright.
Tires crunch across the ground, getting further and further away. The low grumble of the engines becomes quieter, fading into the distant thunder of the storm.
She’s gone.
“Oakley?” Westin shouts. “Oakley!” he yells with more urgency, running towards me.
I’m unable to move. Sweat breaks across my forehead, and the agony of missing her breaks my soul. I slide off Van Gogh, having no strength to stay upright, and smack against the wet ground. The force knocks the breath out of me, and Van Gogh neighs, bending his head down to nudge me with his nose.
“Oakley! What the hell is going on?” Westin slides on his knees, then checks me over for any injuries—like a dagger to the heart.
Westin is a vampire too. I didn’t feel comfortable having humans working on the ranch.
All of my employees are paranormal of some sort.
Most are vampires without a coven, and we even have a few shifters without a pack.
I don’t care what beast someone is; all I care about is knowing if they have good intentions or not.
Which I can feel. It’s how I test all of my new hires. I ask them a series of questions that reveal their true nature. I’m able to sense if they are lying or if they truly have good in their beings.
Westin is a good friend. I don’t think I could have made it all these years without him and Kentucky giving me support.
“Talk to me, man. You’re fucking scaring me. Are you…are you having a heart attack? Do I call 911?”
Sweat stings my eyes, and somehow, I manage to narrow my sights at Westin. “What the hell are they going to do for me?”
“I don’t know what to do, Oakley. Tell me. What happened? What’s wrong?”
“I’ll be fine,” I grunt, the ache easing when the distance between Nariko and me is enough for me to take a breath.
Flipping to my back, I stare up at the sky, lightning still booming through the clouds.
Westin pokes his face into my line of sight; his big green eyes filled with worry. “I don’t know, man. You don’t look too good. You’re kind of pale. And you’re sweating.” He sniffs the air. “Something about you smells bitter.”
My soul.
I just need to figure out how to live without the best part of it.