Chapter 6 #2
My sweaty hair falls across my face. I know I must seem manic, but Lorcan is calm and collected.
“You can’t scare me. I’m from Hell. There’s nothing you can do to beat me.” With one finger, he pokes my chest, and I’m back in my seat, my hands freed from his throat. “Don’t test me again.”
Kentucky’s voice cuts through. “Yeah, don’t let his fun demeanor fool you. He’s very powerful.”
“No, shit.” I rub at the spot on my chest that he poked.
Ow.
“He’s in a good place, Oklahoma. He is at peace. He was worried about you when the truck finally stopped tumbling. He didn’t want to leave your side until he knew you were okay.”
I blink away the tears; emotions I’ve tried to keep under lock and key try to spill free. “So he saw me get turned? I thought he was dead. Alaska said—”
“—Alaska was right. He was dead. Your brother’s soul was next to me, watching everything unfold. He loved you very much. Do you think he would want this for you?”
“I don’t know if I can wait around for the day a tornado kills my mate. I can’t live through that again.”
Kentucky weighs in. “When she dies, you’d die. It’s not like you’d have to live without her. You’re going to miss out on something beautiful because of fear? Think about it, Oklahoma. I have to go.” A child’s cry pierces through the phone. “Keep me updated.”
The line goes dead, and the call ends. I slide my phone away, not wanting to talk to anyone anymore.
“I understand your hesitance. Usually, vampires have around a week before they die without their fated mates, but with you, I can’t be sure. Since your gift is feeling everyone’s emotions—”
“—I wouldn’t call it a gift,” I snarl.
“Grumpy.” He boops my nose, and if he were human, I’d kill him.
“Anyway, you and her could die in less than a week with how emotions are working against you right now, or maybe you’d have longer than a week.
I don’t have an answer. You will need to make that decision on your own, but if you choose to kill her, I am taking you to the worst part of Purgatory.
I can promise you that. Tootles. Souls don’t wait. ”
The Void blows us a fucking kiss before cackling like a madman and snapping his fingers, leaving nothing but my annoyance for him behind.
The rush of my own blood is too loud, and I cup my hands over my ears, thinking it will help.
“Oakley, what’s going on? Talk to me.” Westin takes the seat next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, his concern for me warm and comforting.
It eases the pain, and I’m able to suck in a much-needed deep breath.
“Everything is so loud. I can hear my blood rushing through my body. The volume of every sound is turned up by a million. It will pass. I’ll be fine.” My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, my throat dry as dust. “Westin, can you get me a glass of water, please?”
“On it.” He is up and out of his seat and placing a glass in front of me filled to the rim with water and ice.
The cool condensation hits my palm as I wrap my hand around the glass. Clinks of the ice hitting the sides have me wincing and the water spills onto the table. I don’t care. Everything can stay messy for the rest of my life if it means I feel like this all the time.
Testing one sip, I moan as the river of relief coats the pain in my throat. I drink the entire glass down, gulping so fast that the water spills from the sides of my lips and onto my shirt.
“Woah, woah, woah, Oakley. Don’t drink it so fast. You might get sick again.”
I slam the empty glass down so hard that it shatters in my hand. “I don’t care.” I pluck a few shards out of my palm and drop them onto the table, watching the small wounds heal before my eyes.
“At least you’re still healing,” Westin tries to offer positive news. “It means not all hope is lost, right?”
I give him a tight, forced smile. “Right,” I reply, knowing I need to make a decision that isn’t selfish.
I would die if it meant Nariko could be free of me.
I wish that were an option, but it’s not.
Selflessly, having her die because of me is out of the question.
Being with me means living for all eternity.
She’d outlive her brother, her friends, her parents, and that’s not a decision anyone can make in a fucking week.
I rub my temples, needing this agony to go away. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. At least with grief, it comes in waves, but this? It’s like my bones are riddled with splinters, and they are trying to pierce my skin.
“Everything is clean.” Jazz plops a trash bag filled with dirty rags and paper towels on the table. “Both of you need to toss your clothes. I don’t know if we will be able to get the blood out.”
“Fuck, Westin. I’m sorry. I’ll buy you some new pants.”
“Don’t even worry about it, Oakley. I don’t care. I’m going to go to my cabin and wash up. Jazz, do you have him?”
“I’m fine,” I mumble, not liking that I’m being fussed over. “But”—I lift my eyes, wiping the sweat off my brows—“I need to feed the animals. A few of the horses need to be checked since they are pregnant and due any day now. I was supposed to go pick up a few new rescues and—”
“—Don’t worry about it, man. We got it.” Jazz snags a new water glass and fills it for me.
“Thank you.”
“You haven’t thrown it up, so maybe you can eat human food and water still. That’s good news.” Westin places his hat on his head, his eyes darting from me to Jazz. “I’ll be right back.” And he blurs out the front door to his cabin, which is a few acres away.
“Take your time. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, you look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.”
I roll my eyes at Jazz, the only gesture I can muster right now.
Lorcan is right. I can’t miss the opportunity to be with my fated mate. I’ll need to work through my issues and be honest with her about why I’m so hesitant. Losing my brother nearly destroyed me. I’m still picking up the pieces twenty years later.
An ironic, sad chuckle randomly leaves me.
“What?” Jazz kneels, snagging a fresh towel, then grabs my foot.
I yank my leg away. “What the fuck are you doing?”
A wave of anger sets his jaw as he grabs my leg again, this time using his vampire strength. I don’t move. I don’t have the energy to fight him.
“I’m wiping the fucking blood off you the best I can so I can get you to the shower.”
“I can get myself—”
“Will you shut the fuck up!” he roars at me, his eyes narrowing into sharp slits.
He releases his built-up rage, and it hits my chest like a fucking brick wall, slamming me against the back of my chair.
“You don’t have to be alone anymore, Oakley.
Stop forcing yourself to be alone because you’re afraid of getting close to people.
I’m here. You’re like my family. I’m not going to leave you here to struggle, so be quiet, or I swear to god, I will stitch your lips shut with silver. ”
His face is flushed, and his shoulders rise and fall, his breath and heart rate quicker than they usually are.
“Respectfully,” he adds, disheveled.
I can’t help it. I laugh, throwing a hand on my stomach.
He does too, wiping away the blood on my feet. “I’m not sorry.”
I wipe the tear under my eye away. “I know you aren’t, and you’re right. Everything you said was right. It’s my biggest issue.”
“You’re your biggest issue. You’d rather die alone than let anyone close to you, so you don’t have to feel the pain of their absence.”
I frown, his words a sword to my heart.
He’s right.
Jazz rolls up the ends of the blood-soaked jeans, so they don’t drag on the floor. “Okay. That ought to do it.” He stands, wrapping an arm around my waist to help me up.
“Fuck,” I hiss when my body protests.
“This is what is going to happen. I’m going to help you to your shower, and I’m going to stay within earshot in case you need me, but you’ll still have your privacy. I’m not going anywhere, so don’t even try to rush me out the door. I’m here. Fucking deal with it.”
I lean my weight on him, grip his side, and nod. “Maybe you can help me get my mate back, then.”
“Back? What the hell are you talking about, Oakley?” Using his vampiric speed and strength, we’re in my bathroom. He unwraps his arm from around me, and I grip the edge of the sink, my head dizzy from how fast he moved.
I knew he was fast, but I’m never riding with him again on an empty stomach.
“You know when I got her number to ask her out?”
Jazz twists the handle of the faucet to turn the shower on. “Yes. I remember. I had secondhand awkwardness. It was terrible. Her brother really hates you.”
“I don’t blame him. I was a real dick when they came on the property.”
He lifts a shoulder. “Yeah, but you can’t blame yourself. Sometimes, we still act human when we aren’t prepared for something the universe likes to throw at us.”
“And we were texting, and everything was going fucking great. A little flirting and I fucking backed out. I was a coward,” I admit to him, unbuttoning my ruined jeans.
“I cancelled and she—” I chuckle at the memory of her telling me off.
“She told me she isn’t wasting her time with someone who doesn’t know what they want—in a nutshell. I’m paraphrasing.”
Jazz leans against the door, crosses his arms, and snorts. “I’m glad she has a backbone. I don’t blame her. So what are you going to do to win her over?”
“I…” I lift my head and stare at myself in the mirror, then drag my sights to Jazz, meeting his gaze. “I don’t know. Seeing that I look like fucking road kill, I’m not sure I stand a damn chance now.”
“Ah, you just need to get cleaned up a little. Make sure you scrub your face really well.” He points to his chin. “You got some—”
I tilt my head and pinch my lips together. “No shit.” Blood stains the skin around my mouth. My face has lost its color, and dark circles are more like blue bruises under my eyes.