Thirteen
13
Salem
Present Day
Doing my best to smile and pretend as if I wasn’t exhausted, I sat in our morning staff meeting and listened to Marlana’s ideas for summer exhibitions.
When I had finally gotten to sleep last night, it had been after two in the morning. Replaying Rome’s words, the looks he’d given me, and crying over…what I couldn’t put my finger on exactly. There were too many different emotions warring for first place. But perhaps the top spot was the hollowness that had come with the knowledge that Rome no longer cared if he hurt me.
Deep down, I’d carried his memories with me—what we’d had, how he had made me feel wanted all those years. I had felt guilty for needing that as a source of comfort when Eamon should have been my only place to seek that. I dealt with the weight of it when I let it surface by telling myself that Rome was my first love. That it was normal. If it could have stayed that way. My belief that the devastation Rome had caused me eighteen years ago was due to his pain over losing his mom no longer held any rank. He continued to make it clear just how little he felt for me.
“Okay, wait,” Banner said with his cup of coffee halfway to his mouth. “Did you just say, We love with our hearts and not with our parts ?”
I glanced from him to Marlana, who was grinning and nodding her head.
“It’s brilliant, isn’t it?”
For the first time since last night, I felt like laughing. Not because I didn’t agree with her, but because it was funny.
“We are putting that on shirts,” Banner said, then pointed at me. “Write that down. That’s going on shirts. We are going to be famous.”
“It is rather catchy,” Kendrix agreed.
I began to type it out as a giggle bubbled out of me. God, I had needed her quirkiness this morning.
“I’m glad we are all in agreement,” Marlana replied, then closed her MacBook with a flourish. “Now, who wants to talk about what we are going to eat for lunch?”
Banner glanced at his watch. “I have an eighth-grade class coming in twenty minutes for a tour. I need to get to my office and prepare.”
“By prepare, you mean pop an Adderall?” Marlana quipped.
He cocked his eyebrow. “Don’t judge.”
“Oh, I’m not. But if you care to share, you know where to find me.”
Those two were an excellent distraction.
“How was last night? Even if it is girl’s night I wish I’d been there instead. The kids have been giving my ex hell lately. She sent them to me for the week to deal with them,” Kendrix said with a sigh. “And I thought twins were hard as babies. Having a seventeen-year-old boy and girl makes me miss the days I was up all night, feeding or changing one of them.”
I’d seen photos of his twins. They were gorgeous kids. Hearing anyone talk about their kids in general always sent a wave of sorrow through me because I’d never have that. No late-night feedings, no diapers, no toddler tantrums, nothing. Only Eamon had known how badly I wanted a baby. But after losing my third one, I stopped trying. It had done a number on me emotionally, and I didn’t want to keep going through it.
Collecting my laptop and purse, I stood up. “No worries. Kids come first. Besides, we left early. I had work to do.”
Lie. We had left early because my first love had walked in and was an asshole.
Kendrix fell into step beside me as I made my way to the door. When I had interviewed with Marlana, she’d said he wouldn’t be around regularly, yet there hadn’t been a day that I was here and he didn’t show up. When he had strode into the meeting this morning, I could tell by the look on Marlana’s and Banner’s faces that they were surprised. I had taken that as it being abnormal. I didn’t want to assume this was because of me, but I was slightly worried about his interest in me. I hoped it was professional only.
“No need to be alarmed, but there is a biker dude outside the entrance,” Banner whispered as he stepped in front of us. “Tattoos, leather vest, smoking a cigarette. The whole nine yards. There are even rings on his fingers,” he added. Then he looked back over his shoulder. “And I’ll be completely honest—he is hot.”
Kendrix took a drink from his cup, then started to step around Banner. “I’ll handle it.”
“No, wait,” I said before he could go any further.
My heart was already picking up its pace. I knew who it was. The only person it could be. But why was he here?
Kendrix looked back at me, frowning.
“I…it’s, uh…he’s here to see me,” I replied reluctantly.
I didn’t want to share my past with my coworkers. Marlana had learned enough last night. She’d been full of questions when we left the bar, but I had been as vague as I could be.
“He’s here?” she asked, excitement in her tone, as she came up behind me.
I nodded. “Apparently.”
“Who?” Kendrix asked as Banner said, “You know the sexy, dangerous biker man?” I blew out a breath, then nodded, turning to Marlana. “Could you take my things to my office?” I asked her.
She reached for my laptop and purse. “Sure, but you have to tell me what he says.” Her interest had her wide-eyed.
I didn’t want to tell anyone what he had come here to say. Probably for me to stay the hell out of his favorite bar.
Both men were looking at me, and I knew I had to say something.
I glanced at Banner, then Kendrix. “He is my past. We knew each other a long time ago,” I replied. “I’ll see what he wants.”
I didn’t wait for either to respond before heading to the door.
He turned then, and our eyes met as he took a pull from the cigarette in his mouth.
What are you doing here, Rome? Was last night not enough for you?
His gaze traveled over my body as I approached the door. Why was it that Rome could make me question my clothing choices when I had felt confident in my outfit only moments ago? I stared at him silently before reaching up to unlock the dead bolt.
Get this over with, Salem , I told myself, then opened the door and stepped into the humid, warm late-winter day.
When the door clicked shut behind me, I met his stare. “What can I do for you, Rome?” I asked in a formal tone.
He smirked and took the cigarette from his mouth. “If that ain’t a fucking loaded question,” he drawled.
I didn’t have to look back inside to know that they were watching us.
“We open soon, and a biker on the front doorsteps when the eighth-grade tour group shows up might cause an issue.”
His deep chuckle sent an unwanted tingle through me. He cut his gaze toward the three inside, and a sardonic smile curled his lips. “Already got the men in there panting after you, I see,” he said, then shifted his attention back to me.
“One is my boss, and one thinks you’re hot. So, no. Now, why are you here?”
He took another pull from the cigarette as his eyes held mine. “I’m sorry about what I said. You didn’t tell me about”—he paused, and his jaw twitched—“your husband.”
Pepper must have told him. I was sure she had because she was angry about what he’d said, but I still didn’t like him knowing about Eamon. That was off-limits for him.
I nodded. “Fine. Is that all?”
His sigh sounded as jagged as he was. “Is that how it’s gonna be then?” he asked while he looked at me as if he was reading my thoughts instead of waiting for me to speak.
“How what is going to be, Rome? What is it you want from me?” I snapped, annoyed at how he could still stir things inside me that I did not want to feel.
The corner of his lips quirked. “You used to be sweet, Angel Face.”
I tensed. “I asked you not to call me that.”
He took a step toward me and slid his knuckles under my chin, tilting my head back. “I’ll call you what the fuck I want to.” His eyes drifted over my face, pausing at my lips.
“You already pointed out that I was old,” I reminded him. “I’ve done nothing to you to deserve you mocking me. And calling me Angel Face is just that.”
There was humor in his gaze that made me want to slap him.
“Are you needing a compliment? The mirror you look in every day ain’t enough for you? Come now, sweetheart. You’re not blind, and we both know your ego doesn’t need stroking by me.” He licked his bottom lip, and although it was quick, the silver bar in his tongue flashed at me.
I jerked my chin free of his hold and stepped back. “I don’t have an ego. I have feelings. Something you stopped caring about a long time ago.” The words came out bitter and gave entirely too much away.
His nostrils flared slightly, and he tensed. “Now, who is mocking who?”
I shook my head. “This is…” I threw up my hands in frustration. “This is ridiculous. That is what this is. We are adults. We have lived different lives. Loved other people. Can we just let the past go? Why are we acting like this? Is it our need for closure?”
He stood there silently while we looked at each other. Neither knowing the answer, it seemed.
“Not looking for closure. I don’t close a good book until the story ends,” he drawled, then put his cigarette back in his mouth. “Have a good day, Angel Face.” He said the last two words with a grin, then walked down the stairs while I stood there and watched him.
It wasn’t until he reached his Harley and threw his leg over it, then glanced back at me that I realized what I was doing. Spinning around, I opened the door and went inside.