CHAPTER ELEVEN #2
The revelry of the moment was interrupted by Trevor’s cell phone buzzing. He yanked the device from his pocket, face immediately splitting in two. “I’m guessing that’s Whitney?” Jessie teased, collecting the last of their napkins and dishes.
Javi sighed. “You two are disgusting, but I’m happy for you.”
Trevor typed away for a moment before tucking his phone away. “I should head out so I can see her before it’s too late.”
Jessie nudged her brother in the side. “Javi’s right on both counts. I’m glad I finally got to meet her. Whitney is a doll.”
“I can’t disagree,” Trevor said to his sister.
He glanced around the room, a flush creeping up his neck.
“I think she might be the one.” The group was silent, and Malcolm couldn’t decide if he should cheer or cry.
He understood that certainly, that glint in Trevor’s eye that hadn’t disappeared since Whitney came to Pinegrove.
Their captain was smitten, and it was obvious the feeling was mutual.
Snorting, Jessie shook her head. “Oh please, big brother. You’ve only been dating a few weeks.”
“Yeah, but they’ve been good weeks.” Trevor got the goofiest grin on his face, and Malcolm’s heart ached. He was so happy for his friend, but he was simultaneously jealous the man was in love and able to parade around Pinegrove with his girl on his arm.
Malcolm was currently five inches away from the woman he loved, and he had no idea where they stood.
That kiss last night had been the stuff of dreams. Hell, his lips still tingled from kissing her cheek this afternoon.
Yet JJ had fled the house so fast this morning, he was surprised there weren’t skid marks in his driveway.
And then to have her return looking like a vision in this dress that hugged her hips and rode up her thighs when she sat.
He was about to crawl out of his own skin.
Trevor strode ahead, clapping Malcolm on the shoulder. “It’s good to see you looking like yourself, man.”
Javi also rose, gathering their empty bottles and helping Jessie with the trash. They shared a fist bump and promised to see each other soon. “Think about my calendar idea!” he barked before the door slammed shut behind him.
Jessie flipped the deadbolt, turning off some of the lights, and rejoined Malcolm on the couch.
His eyelids drooped, but all he wanted to do was spend more time with Jessie.
Falling asleep on the couch was not how he wanted to spend their limited time.
Every minute with JJ needed to be treasured, held close and relished.
Sensing his fading energy, Jessie tucked a curl behind his ear, letting her hand slide down his neck, checking one of the bandages. “These are still looking good. Have you had any new aches or pains today?”
Malcolm snorted. “You mean other than Mom babying me to death? No, I’ve got no complaints.” He let out a slow exhale, feeling his muscles relax. “I’m good, JJ. Today was a good day.”
Lips turning up in the corners, Jessie nodded. “It was.”
Jessie stretched, the hem of her dress riding up her legs, exposing a fresh trail of freckles he’d forgotten about. Suddenly they were teenagers and Malcolm’s pants were too tight. “I’m beat, too. It was a nice day, but a long one. I don’t think I’ve done this much socializing in ages.”
She held out her hands, assisting Malcolm as he clambered to his feet. They faced each other, hands still joined, and Malcolm couldn’t stop himself. He leaned in, brushing his lips along Jessie’s. She tasted faintly of chocolate and hops, and he could drink her up.
Jessie inhaled, but didn’t pull back. Tentatively, he nipped at her bottom lip, earning a low moan he felt through his bandages. His tongue darted out, soothing over the bite, producing another NSFW sound.
“Malcolm,” she warned, eyes unfocused, voice raspy.
“JJ,” he said, dying to pull her close and devour her faster than a slice of Buster’s pizza. “What’s the big deal,” he breathed against her parted lips. “This is hardly our first kiss.”
Jessie shivered but didn’t say anything right away. She traced the curve of his jaw until she ran her fingers through his hair. He purred like a cat, and she tugged him closer. “This is a very bad idea,” she said before closing the distance and kissing him like her life depended on it.
Malcolm knew his certainly did.
That was the thing about him and JJ—they had the chemistry—hell, they were combustible.
Finding the spark was never their problem. Oh no, their problem was timing. Whenever he was ready for more, Jessie was the first to pull back and disappear. Very rarely had she been the one chasing him.
Malcolm tried not to let it bother him, but it was useless pretending he wasn’t hurt.
He had loved this woman all of his adult life, yet he sustained himself on the scraps she gave him.
But she was here now, in his arms, their lips tangling in a kiss that brought him back to life faster than modern medicine ever could.
He wasn’t a fool; they needed to communicate and get on the same page before someone got hurt.
Correction, before he got hurt.
Jessie broke their kiss first, her lips red and swollen. “We should get you in bed.”
“No arguments here,” he whispered, keeping his hands on her hips, fingers digging into the fabric of her new dress.
Her blue gaze met his, and she sighed. “You know what I mean, Romeo. This is a bad idea.”
“When hasn’t it been?” he asked, trying not to start a fight that would ruin the moment.
“Malcolm, we can’t do this now. You’re recovering, and I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Finally, Malcolm stepped back. The moment was over, and he wasn’t going to push it. “We could talk about it, you know. Like we used to.”
Jessie’s lips quirked. “You want me to get my car and drive us out to Hog Hollow? Lay in the meadow and count the stars?”
“We had some really great talks out there,” he said, snaking her hand as she tried to walk away. “It doesn’t have to be the farm, but maybe we can go outside, sit on the deck?”
Jessie nodded, holding up a finger. “Only if you have your helper.” Despite his grumblings, she grabbed his walker. Malcolm shuffled toward the sliding glass door, needing her assistance to get him over the threshold. She waited patiently as he got settled on one of the loungers.
Malcolm’s place was hardly fancy, but he’d bought two loungers when he moved in. He’d never admit this to Jessie, but he’d bought them with her in mind. Most of what he did was with Jessie in mind...
Once they were situated, they both lay on their backs staring up at the sky.
It was July, and the heat of summer wasn’t going anywhere.
Malcolm’s place was in the suburbs, so light pollution limited some of their viewing, but neither seemed to mind.
The fireflies were out in force, peppering the sky with green sparkles.
Malcolm linked his fingers and rested them on his belly, content with the silence, knowing his girl would speak when she was good and ready.
His eyes were gritty from a long day, but sleep wouldn’t come when they were outside. His body was finely tuned to Jessie, and he could tell she wasn’t anywhere near rest. She was pensive, holding on to something.
“I feel like I’m losing a race,” she finally admitted.
Malcolm wasn’t sure what he expected her to say, but that wasn’t it. “What do you mean, JJ?” He turned his head to see her profile, his muscles protesting at the odd angle.
Jessie sighed, not quite meeting his eye, and he wasn’t about to push. After a few heartbeats, she found her words. “I mean, look at everyone. You’ve got this lovely condo and a career. Trevor’s practically engaged again, and even Momma is moving on with someone new.”
“I thought you weren’t upset with Chief and Daisy dating?”
Jessie flapped a hand in the air. “I’m not, truly. It’s more that everyone has a life.”
“You have a life.” More words tripped on his tongue, words he feared would upset her, but he couldn’t hold back. “It’s a life I thought you wanted.”
Malcolm held his breath, hopeful that maybe, just maybe, being back in Pinegrove and seeing everyone would show her what she was missing. Show her she was missing him.
“I know I do, and I love the Peace Corps.” She shimmied on her lounge chair, unable to get comfortable. “I’m in my late twenties, and I guess I feel like I’m behind.” She snorted at her realization, but Malcolm didn’t see the joke. “That’s it, isn’t it?” she asked, blinking up at the sky.
“What’s it?” Being with Jessie always felt like drinking truth serum. When they were alone and talking, it felt like anything was possible—which could be a good or bad thing.
“I always feel behind, from my school days to now. The trouble is, I don’t know what I should do.”
“What do you like most about the Peace Corps?” Malcolm asked, genuinely curious at the answer.
Over the years, Jessie had described a myriad of her favorite things, from the travel to the people to the challenge of helping folks from different cultures.
The thing of it was, Malcolm thought all of those skills would translate nicely to Pinegrove.
“I’m really enjoying our current assignment,” she admitted.
Malcolm carefully adjusted his position so as not to tweak one of his injuries.
He’d noticed that it was harder in the evening, as if his body was too tired not to hurt.
“That’s the farming in the fire-ravaged areas?
” he asked, although he knew the answer.
Not only did he and Jessie send emails and letters to each other, but he soaked up every update Trevor or Ms. Daisy would give him.
“Yeah. There were fires there a couple years ago, and some of the farmers haven’t been able to replant and start over. We’re building irrigation systems and looking at options for crop rotation that should help.”
Malcolm hummed. “Sounds like you’re learning a lot out there .
.. and enjoying the challenge.” He waited, hoping she’d acknowledge his observation.
After a moment, he heard her sigh, so he soldiered on, “Don’t sell yourself short, JJ.
Not everyone’s life looks the same.” And even though he didn’t want to draw more attention to her potential promotion, he added, “And it looks like all your hard work is going to pay off soon.”
She reached out in the dark, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. As she loosened her grip, Malcolm held firm. Her voice barely audible over the chirping of crickets, she asked, “Why does talking to you always help?”
“Because we’re best friends.” He waggled their joined hands, earning a small giggle from his girl. “You feeling any better?”
That question earned Malcolm a real laugh.
“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?
” She released his hand and swung her legs over her chair.
Even in the dim light, Malcolm didn’t miss how her skirt rode up.
He thought about baseball while he pulled himself together.
Getting all hot and bothered wouldn’t help either of them right now, at least not in the big picture.
“You want to start the nighttime routine?” she suggested, standing over him with her hands outstretched.
“Yeah, another shower might be nice.” His voice was low, filled with need. Before she could pull away, he placed a soft kiss on her lips.
“We won’t be repeating last night,” she warned but didn’t pull away. This time, she closed what little distance remained, the urgency of their kiss smothering any unsaid words.
Bracing her against him with his good arm, Malcolm nipped at her bottom lip before trailing his tongue up to her earlobe. He nuzzled the tender skin of her neck, then drew his lips back for more.
“What are we doing, Malcolm?” The question was a breath across his skin. “And don’t be cute or funny, I’m serious.” She took a tentative step back, eyes wild and mouth swollen.
“You want a real answer?” he asked, waiting until she nodded. “I haven’t got a freaking clue, JJ. You’re my best friend, my ex, and the girl I’m still in love with. I want to be everything for you, so the ball is in your court.”
Malcolm had no clue what answer she expected, but for once, his girl was speechless. Finally, she opened her mouth to reply, but her cell phone blared in her pocket. It wasn’t her usual ringtone, and she frantically pawed around the pockets of her dress until she retrieved it.
“It’s Noel,” she said, hands gripping the infernal device.
Deflated, Malcolm stepped back so she could take the call. “Go, I’m fine.” He didn’t watch her walk away, mostly because it was a sight he was used to. She closed the sliding door behind her, leaving Malcolm outside and alone.
They couldn’t keep doing this, whatever it was. The back and forth was chipping away at Malcolm more than he’d realized. They’d become experts at this emotional chess game, their feelings never quite synching over the years.
Glaring at his reflection in the glass door, Malcolm saw the changes since his accident.
There were fine lines around his eyes, his cheekbones were more prominent, and a certain edge bracketed his stare.
Granted, he wasn’t as stoic as his father, but he looked older, wiser—too smart to play this game again.
Regardless of what her boss wanted, Malcolm was finally coming to his own realization.
Jessie might not be his girl anymore.