CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Three Years Ago
Certain memories stick with you, no matter how much time had passed.
Jessie could dissect every minuscule detail from the day she learned of her father’s passing.
She was stationed deep in the jungles of Ecuador, settled into the middle of her six-month stay.
She was on a hike with some of the locals, staking out options for the best water stations for the village.
Insects flitted around her face, her hair plastered to the nape of her neck.
It was mid-summer, and the temperatures flirted with the hundreds, the humidity saturating the air.
One of her teammates, Jolene, was back at headquarters .
.. a.k.a. a collection of semi-permanent tents clustered together.
There was a satellite phone and a shaky Wi-Fi connection they all shared to communicate with their supervisors, but also with family.
After returning for the day, she saw a very worried Jolene pacing in front of their shared tent.
“Mays, thank the Lord,” she exhaled, body deflating. Clutched in her hand was the phone, her knuckles white. “You need to call home,” she said, voice tinged with concern.
Jessie didn’t understand how she knew it was something horrible, but her stomach bottomed out, all sounds around her turning to white noise. “Who called?” Her question evaporated on a whisper. Jolene chewed on her cheek, expression pinched. “Jolene,” she barked. “Who called?”
Jolene closed the distance, thrusting the phone into Jessie’s sweaty palm.
“Your brother.” Without knowing anything more, Jessie collapsed onto the ground, knees sinking into the dirt.
It had to be one of her parents, she mused as Jolene shook her shoulders and struggled to get Jessie back on her feet.
“Mays, Mays!” She kept repeating Jessie’s name until they finally made eye contact.
“Go to our tent, give him a call. Please, it could be nothing.”
But it wasn’t nothing; it was the worst news imaginable.
On shaking legs, Jessie stumbled and collapsed onto her cot. Without thinking, she dialed her brother’s cell phone, simultaneously eager to hear his voice and utterly petrified.
After three rings, Trevor answered with a somber “Jessie?”
The tears already fell, her throat clogged as she choked out, “Trev?” Silence was all she heard for a moment, and she feared they’d already been disconnected. Jessie pulled the phone back, squinting at the tiny display to confirm he was still on the line. “Trevor?”
“It’s Daddy,” he finally croaked out.
Now, Jessie had seen and heard her brother be emotional before.
As the little sister, it had been her job to taunt and harass him endlessly over the years.
Yet they also shared a tight bond and often went to each other with their problems. This was new though.
This level of tension and grief could only mean one thing.
“Was there a fire?” she asked, both hands pressing the phone to her ear.
Trevor cleared his throat and said, “No, Jessie. Daddy had a heart attack.”
“A heart attack?” she repeated, inching forward on her cot. Heart attacks weren’t bad, right? Millions of people had them and went on to live long, healthy lives ... she bet. “Is he in the hospital?”
It could have been a split second or an eternity until Trevor finally spilled the news that cracked her world wide open. “No, Jessie. Daddy died.” Then the only thing she heard was a sob as Trevor pulled the phone back and lost it again.
Jessie rocked herself back and forth, willing the words to be a lie, a cruel joke, anything but the painful truth it was. “No,” she muttered. “Daddy’s healthy as a horse. He can’t have a heart attack.”
Trevor sniffled. “I was there, Jessie.”
“Oh my God!” She gasped, a fresh wave of pain washing over her at the news.
Her brother, her strong, selfless brother had to witness the tragedy.
“Are you okay?” For a moment, there was only silence.
She heard muffled voices and Gus woofing in the background.
Trevor was home, with poor Momma, and suddenly she couldn’t stand the distance a moment longer.
“I’m coming home, on the first flight out of Quito. ”
More snuffles filled her ear until Trevor said, “Good, that’s good. I’ll tell Momma. If Malcolm is up for it, he’ll pick you up.”
Jessie swiped at her cheeks, the thought of seeing Malcolm again a comfort she hadn’t realized she needed. “Up for it?” she asked, dabbing at her eyes with the hem of her T-shirt.
“He was with me, Jessie. When it ... ” but that’s all Trevor could get out before he started crying again.
“Oh no.” She sighed, heart shattering at the fact that not only did her brother have to witness the event but also sweet-hearted Malcolm.
Malcolm, who gleefully followed her daddy and brother into service at the station. Malcolm, who still attended family dinners while she was gone, just because he loved her family as much as she did. Malcolm, who selflessly put himself in the way of danger.
Trevor replied, “We can talk about it all later. Email me your flight once you book it, and we’ll see you soon. I love you, Jessie.”
“Love you, too, Trev. Give Momma a hug for me.”
Jessie ended the call, letting the satellite phone clatter to the ground.
A million images of the man flashed through her head, tears falling silently down her face.
Memories of her daddy during their most recent visit, the man had climbed the roof to fix a leak, hadn’t even asked Trevor to help.
Granted, he’d celebrated that task with a couple of hot dogs and a beer, but didn’t all men eat like that?
A heart attack didn’t seem real. Nick Mays’s heart was as big as all outdoors—holding the love of his family and the whole damned fire department—it couldn’t give out on him; it was too big and strong. Too important ...
The thought of her mother alone was the final straw.
Jessie barely made it out of the tent before she lost her breakfast all over an ant hill.
She retched until nothing came up, until her colleagues started to gather in the distance, dozens of insects skittering away at her feet.
Her eyes stung, nose running down her face as she lifted her shirt and dabbed away the mix of vomit and snot.
Her daddy was dead. Her family was in mourning, and she was currently drenched in bodily fluids in the middle of a South American jungle. She’d never hated her job as much as she did in that moment.
She wasn’t sure how she did it, but she managed to get with Jolene and Noel, to tell them the horrible news. They helped her book a flight, with a layover in Mexico City. She didn’t want to have to stop, but she understood time and her budget were factors.
While she boarded the first plane to take her back to Pinegrove, take her back to a reality she didn’t want to be a part of, Jessie thought of Malcolm.
Trevor had mentioned in their last hurried phone call that Malcolm would meet her at the airport, and she was so relieved.
For as much as she needed to see her mother, needed to hold Trevor tight, she also needed a moment with the person who understood her the most. She was also desperate to comfort Malcolm, to share the burden of losing her father.
Granted, her last visit home hadn’t gone as she’d hoped. It was a year ago, and Malcolm and his parents had joined her family at her parents’ anniversary party. All the talk of love and marriage had put him in a feisty mood, and he pleaded his case for her to stay—with him—for the umpteenth time.
Jessie had taken her star ring off, pressing it into his hand with a breaking heart. “Malcolm, I’m not ready,” she’d said, despite the pain in her chest. “I’ve got a new assignment, this one in Kenya. You know I’ve always wanted to go there.”
Malcolm had placed her ring on the table, stepping out of her hold. “JJ, I’m not going to wait anymore. Keep the ring or don’t, but the next time you see me, it’ll be as a family friend. My heart can’t take anymore.” And now neither could her daddy’s ...
She’d called out his name, but it was no use. Every time she went back home, a part of her both clicked into place and ached to leave. It always felt impossible to find herself when everyone assumed she was Trevor’s goofy sister, or Malcolm’s flighty girlfriend.
When she was out on a job, she had a purpose, a plan, people to help. No one knew anything about her, beyond what she’d shared over campfire conversations or out in the field. She could be a woman of mystery, whoever the hell she wanted to be.
Of course now, as she stood outside the gate in the Mexico City airport, all she wanted to be was Nick May’s daughter. She wrapped her arms around her middle, eager to get back to Georgia and see her family, to see Malcolm. Squeezing her eyes shut, she could almost hear him calling out for her.
“JJ! JJ, baby!”
Footfalls grew louder, and Jessie spun around, ponytail slapping her neck. She froze when she saw Malcolm, sprinting toward her. “Malcolm?” she asked, willing the sight to be more than a mirage.
Malcolm skittered to a halt in front of her, narrowly avoiding tripping over her duffle bag. “JJ,” he said her name in greeting, carefully placing his hands on her hips. “JJ?” he asked, dipping his head low to meet her gaze.
The moment their eyes locked, Jessie couldn’t hold her composure.
She crumpled into his arms, wailing into his chest, soaking his shirt in seconds.
“Malcolm.” She kept repeating his name as he cooed and rubbed circles on her back.
She was somewhat aware that people were watching, but she couldn’t give a rip.
“How are you here?” she asked when she’d caught her breath.
“I couldn’t stay away,” he admitted, holding her firm.
She inhaled his familiar citrus scent, the aroma instantly transporting her back home ... back to happier times. “How did you get here?”