Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Cody had started to grow used to the many contrasts between small town life in Montana and big city life in Minnesota, but one thing that remained the same was the weather. November in Minneapolis meant the first real snow that stuck, and since he was currently peeking out at an all-white landscape, that was one aspect the two locations had in common.
He’d liked winter all his life, and now was no exception, even if it did make farming more challenging. By challenging, it meant that anything that wasn’t tucked away in a greenhouse became dormant. It gave him more time to pack away the seeds he’d collected for the next season and to tend to the far lesser number of plants he kept inside. But otherwise, his time farming outside became limited.
Yet ranch work didn’t go dormant, so Cody had been pitching in with other work to remain productive. Even though this wasn’t in his job description, he couldn’t just stand by and watch the farmhands bust their rearends while he sat back and did nothing. So, he volunteered to help with the animals and some of the other necessities of running a massive ranch in frigid temps.
A fantastic benefit of having employers who put family first was that they did extra work ahead of Thanksgiving so that the majority of their employees could be off to enjoy their holiday. Most of the time Boone had to skate in an NHL game on those Thursdays, but for once, his team wasn’t playing. Cody had taken a trip to the Billings airport to pick him up, so appreciative that his little brother would be around.
He loved having Boone visit anytime, but lately, he’d been down in the dumps. He didn’t usually feel this way, but ever since Erika’s rejection, he couldn’t seem to bounce back. But the last thing he wanted to think about right now was Erika Cantrell, the woman he craved but couldn’t have.
Since Gabe met a young woman while there at the university and wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her family in Southern California, Cody would’ve ended up alone had it not been for his brother. While Cody felt happy for his son and wasn’t about to infringe on Gabe’s opening act with someone who might become important to him, Boone’s timing couldn’t be better.
“Man, it’s good to see you, even if I’m way better looking,” Cody snarked at his brother, wearing a wide smile on his face.
“As if. I’m the one who has to beat the puck bunnies off with a stick.”
True and always had been. Pro hockey players, just like all other pro athletes, had plenty of opportunities to meet with a contingency of fans chomping at the bit to date them. Which made Boone’s next announcement a serious shocker.
“So, I’m considering not renewing this contract for another year.”
“What? Really?” Maybe this shouldn’t come as such a big surprise since his little brother was one of the oldest players out there at forty years of age. Hockey tended to be a rough sport on the body, and what might be nothing at twenty became debilitating over the years. But still.
“Yeah, you know moving around in free agency has been tough.” Free agency in professional sports could be a gold mine for younger players who ended up in bidding wars. For older players it was usually a race to the bottom just to continue playing the game you loved.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’m thinking it might be time to hang up my skates. I love it. You know I love it. But…” Boone trailed off, scratching at the back of his neck.
“Didn’t get injured again, did you?” Cody asked as he and his brother held a completely thawed turkey over a deep fryer.
Deep fried turkey was delicious, but using a frozen one would result in an explosion of fiery grease. Definitely not the best way to spend a holiday. And while his brother might be accustomed to taking risks while on the ice, taking that one would be stupid.
“No, man. I uh… met a woman.”
Together they lowered the turkey, being careful not to do it too quickly or splash any of the already boiling oil. With that situated, Cody aimed his feet toward his kitchen and the bag of coleslaw waiting in his fridge. He also threw his store-bought pumpkin pie in the oven.
“She got a name?”
“Kelsey. Been dating her for about seven months now, but it’s serious. If this is my last year, then next summer we can settle down together.”
Stunned, Cody plopped into a seat at the table. His baby brother had never been the settling down and planting his roots deep type. Unlike him.
“She makes me want to be there for her, to not be away from home,” his brother continued. “We’re looking at engagement rings.”
“You weren’t kidding about the serious part, then.”
“Nope. Not kidding at all.” Cody’s mind immediately flew to Erika, and the unlikeliness of his chances with her. “What’s that look all about?” Boone demanded of him, his features twisted in curiosity.
Cody blew out a breath, glanced over at his brother, then blew out another longer one. How to begin?
“I’ve been dating someone, too. Well, trying to, anyway. She’s not always onboard with it.”
Boone wrinkled his brows. “What do you mean by that? How can someone you’re dating not be onboard with it?” He grinned as his eyes gleamed with wicked mischief, his mouth then configuring into a smirk. “You’re not stalking this poor girl, are you?”
“She’s not some young girl, she’s in her late thirties,” Cody snapped, as if that was the issue here. As if all his problems with Erika could be tied up in this neat bow that only had to do with maturity and age. His brother’s expression flattened into something more cautious at Cody’s strident tone. “Her name is Erika.”
He proceeded to inform Boone all about their trials and tribulations. About the spark Cody felt for her the instant he met her at Callie and Zeke’s wedding. At the sense of humor they shared. At her standoffishness that he’d originally believed to simply be a game of hard-to-get.
Then, he explained about their time at Sweet Everything when everything seemed to click. How being with her, talking to her, felt so natural and easy that it was as if they’d known each other for years. Maybe always known one another.
How she’d ghosted him for weeks before finally, finally agreeing to go out on a real legitimate date up in Billings. How everything had been well, magical almost, it’d gone so beautifully. That kiss on the dance floor that had assured him of their chemistry. He hadn’t doubted anything about their connection. That was why it going sour struck him as such a blow.
“But then at the end of that next-level date, she shut me down and broke things off.”
Boone’s frown was back, but this time it looked more confused than anything. “Did you do or say something that she reacted strangely to?”
“No, man. That’s what bothers me the most. The entire thing start to almost finish had been wonderful. But near the end of it, she brought up her late husband and told me she didn’t want to go out again. She cut off all communication, and we haven’t spoken since.”
“A late husband?”
“Yeah. One who’s been dead for sixteen years.”
“That’s a long time.”
“Right?” Cody threw up his hands. At least his brother understood. “I don’t usually have any problems reading a woman’s intent, but in this case, she’s so back and forth that I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I’ve made it obvious that I’m interested, but she keeps blocking me with this lost husband stuff like she’s a D-man on the rink.”
D-man in hockey terms meant a defensive player, and most of the time, whoever played this position was huge in size and tough as nails. Erika might not meet the first qualification, but she definitely lined up with the second. At least as far as Cody was concerned.
“And you don’t believe her?”
“No, I do. For whatever reason, all these years later, she’s still mourning him. But deep down, I’ve been wondering if that’s just an excuse. If Blake—that’s his name—is the barrier she keeps around herself so nothing else can reach her.”
Especially not him.
Boone contemplated the coleslaw in a bag that Cody had dumped in a bowl, saw that the dressing hadn’t been dispersed, grabbed a big wooden spoon and started to mix it up. Cody watched him.
He hadn’t even been aware that the coleslaw needed more effort to be a finished side dish. He’d been so tangled up in his thoughts about Erika that everything else, including Thanksgiving dinner, took a back burner in his mind.
“Let me ask you something,” his brother said as he continued to stir. “Do you have big feelings for this lady?”
“Big feelings?”
Boone tossed him a look but explained anyway.
“When I’m around Kelsey, she’s all I can focus on. And when she’s not around, she’s all I can think about. I have to really concentrate out on the ice so I won’t be distracted. I want her with me twenty-four seven. I was on this wild road trip that kept me away from home for eight days, and even though we talked on the phone every day, it wasn’t enough. I was going crazy missing her. That’s what I call ‘big feelings.’ Have any of those?”
Cody scowled in the general direction of the table as he swallowed. He didn’t meet his brother’s eye when he answered. “All of them.”
“Tell me this, then. Have you given it your best shot with her? Did you tackle all your opposition and line things up so you truly had the best shot on goal, even if that means you’ve gotta bleed a little? Or have you been acting like you’re stuck in the penalty box?”
That was a lot of hockey analogies, but Cody thought he understood. It was a brutal take in a lot of ways, the insinuation that he hadn’t tried his hardest. But if he was honest, he knew he couldn’t claim that he’d given it his all with Erika. Sure, her response to their date had completely thrown him off his game. Could competing with another man’s ghost, one she clearly loved, ever be a fair fight?
But what if he didn’t try to fight Blake? What if he simply fought for himself, for his right to let this woman know how he truly felt about her? Right now, she didn’t have any idea how strongly he felt or how deep his “big feelings” went. He should at least do that much. Give her all the facts so she could make an informed decision.
So, that was what he would do.