Chapter 15
Malin
Iwas flying without wings. Doing what I could to stay above the waterline. Planning every next step by the seat of my pants. I’d deal with the fallout later. That was what I always did. My philosophy on life.
The truth was, I’d done something I’d never done before. Let emotion lead me. And hell was it tangled and convoluted and made no sense.
Getting Cassius out of that horrible slave prison—because it couldn’t really be called anything else—had been the right thing to do.
That was according to my feelings and Malinekan’s inner whispers.
The push to act on that feeling was as strong as Malinekan pushing to shift and take wing.
I had denied my feelings in the past. Buried them.
I never denied Malinekan when he finally began speaking again.
This…this was like that. Something I couldn’t deny. If Cassius stood before me needing something, I was compelled to give it.
Your alpha is finally waking up.
My alpha has always been awake, I threw back at my dragon.
You call being angry and shallow alpha behavior?
Malinekan rarely insulted me. Shallow I might cop to. Angry?
Most of the time, he replied. Anger is easier to deal with than grief.
Stop trying to sound like my therapist.
I moved through the mall toward the parking lot. Cassius lagged behind me. It had been a lot for him. A big day. A day of life-changes. The same could be said for me.
He looked good in his new clothes but he was still unsure about everything. So was I. Buying him whatever he needed killed some time. Soon, there would have to be some sort of conversation. A settlement between us.
After some silence, Cassius spoke. “I’m not sure what’s expected now. That makes me nervous.”
“Isn’t this better than where you were?”
“I don’t know that yet.”
“I’m not going to put you in solitary, drug you or rent you out or make you have a hundred babies until you’re fifty years old. How’s that for starters?”
“Uh, having a hundred would be impossible. But the rest is good. I guess.”
“You guess? Shouldn’t you be grateful?” I didn’t need him to sing my praises, but I thought I’d been clear. I had, after all, saved him.
Ah, that should make him trust you. Sweeping in as his savior.
Malinekan could be irritating when he was right.
“Okay. I get it. You’re facing something very new.
So am I. I don’t have expectations except for the fact that you have no means to leave.
I suppose that means you’re still a captive.
But anything has to be better than where you were.
You won’t have to see the ugly mugs of Jonah or Klonis again. That ought to be something.”
He sniffed, then let out a strange sound. Almost like a laugh. “The looks on their faces when you came up with the money…. I’ll never forget that.”
My cheeks tightened. My mouth shuddered into a smile. I didn’t do that a lot. Smile. It was like using muscles long left dormant.
“They looked like they’d just eaten shit. Both of them.”
“But now they have your money.”
“True. They shouldn’t have gotten a cent. It’s like rewarding bad behavior.”
Cassius looked at me. “You really believe that, right?”
“After looking up Brimstone yesterday, yes.”
“You really didn’t have an idea of what the ranch was?”
I winced. My ignorance was on purpose. “I had an idea.”
“But not experience.”
“Not the facts.”
“When I found out I was a set, I was ashamed. There were times I thought I deserved to be sold because I wasn’t good enough to be more than a brood slave.”
“And the rest of your pack was made up of people better than you?” I was disgusted he was taught this.
“I—I guess.”
This conversation made me squirm, yet I was compelled to know more. “Did they teach you this?”
He nodded.
“I wasn’t taught it, but my peers were taught that. Do you still believe it?” My question sounded too harsh once it was out of my mouth. But when did I ever care if I was harsh?
“No.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Hearing the crying at night. The pregnant ones cried the most.”
I drew in a sharp breath.
“No one deserves to feel that unless they’re very very bad,” he continued.
“No one,” I echoed.
I felt as if I should know these things already. As if the existence of Brimstone and other ranches should be splattered all over billboards and TV and streaming as the shit houses they were. Most alphas I knew weren’t into that. Which made it easier to play ignorant.
Bish’s party had surprised me. I hadn’t known Bish to be the type to rent sets from ranches. It had been pushed in front of my face. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for two days now.
“I should have known more. After Dad bought Kirion, I should have been more curious. But I was too mad at him.”
“And then you blamed Kirion,” Cassius whispered.
“I blamed both of them.”
“I think I’m starting to get it.”
“No. You’re not. I have been running away from problems my whole life. Avoiding anything uncomfortable or worse. I never looked at the ranches. I never thought about set omegas once I left Dad. Kirion was an interloper. I hated him. He seemed pathetic. I didn’t want to be anywhere near that.”
“That’s why you said you hate sets.”
“I didn’t think about it at all. I hated the idea that Dad had even bought him. I’ve spent my life traveling, escaping. I drink because reality sucks. Why would my father do such a thing?”
“But you didn’t really think that then. Not the morality of it.” Cassius spoke carefully, softly.
“No. Not for one minute.” And Malinekan didn’t speak about it, either. For years, he didn’t speak to me at all. The most I felt from him was a shiver of pleasure whenever I allowed a shift.
Cassius leaned back, his hands unclasping, resting against the seat now. “Thank you for telling me all that.”
“Why are you thanking me?”
“Because I feel better now.”
“Because I’m an asshole?”
“No. Because I think maybe I’m beginning to feel like I can trust you.”
I ran my hand through my hair, a nervous gesture I did only when I felt unsure, insecure. “The lesser of two assholes,” I said under my breath.
Cassius let out that strange laugh sound again. “Yep. Jonah and Klonis win for being the worser assholes.”
“Worser?”
“A lot worser.”
Something in my chest turned over at his words. As if I’d just received praise I’d been waiting for my whole life. To be called a lesser asshole? Now that was totally making my day.