Chapter Nineteen
Zinn
EIGHT YEARS LATER
Zinn’s face pinched as he stared at the folder.
He’d been so hopeful when he arrived, and now it felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on him.
The documents contained a pitiful amount of information.
Mostly just an accounting of what the private investigator had tried to do. Tried and failed.
The hospital where he could not find any records of babies born that day.
The household staff who stonewalled him, saying they’d never seen the pregnant omega.
The agencies claiming they hadn’t facilitated the adoption of Zeller Parkenson’s baby.
Dawson, the beta PI, sat across from him, his face grim. Zinn got the sense he wasn’t used to coming up empty.
“I’m very sorry, Mr. Parker,” Dawson said, folding his hands over his slim belly. “As you know, Zeller has controlling parents with friends in high places. Whatever they did to make all the evidence go away, they did a thorough job of it.”
“Had.”
“Huh?”
“Had,” Zinn repeated. “Zeller had controlling parents. Since he disappeared and cut off all contact with them.”
Dawson nodded. “Of course.”
Zinn released an upward breath, tousling the wispy curls on his forehead. The dark mahogany color was fading. He’d need to dye it again soon. “I appreciate you trying. It was always a longshot. I’m grateful you agreed to look into the matter, that you believed me about the baby.”
“Unfortunately, I do far too much business with omegas wanting to track down children they were forced to give up. Thank stars there are decrees now, to prevent it from happening.”
“Yes,” Zinn said flatly. “The law has improved these past five years. It’s just too bad those decrees weren’t in place to protect Zeller.”
Zinn tried not to let his disappointment overwhelm him. He’d been elated when Dawson took his case. He’d scrimped and saved for months to hire the investigator, who had a reputation as one of the best in the state. But it had all come to nothing. Another dead end.
Zinn reached into his backpack and pulled out an envelope, sliding it across the table. “Your fee.”
Dawson pushed it back at him. “No. I don’t feel right taking the money, considering I wasn’t able to get the information you were after.”
“But your time?”
“It’s okay. I have other cases, so I can afford to be generous with hardworking omegas who are doing their best to stand on their own two feet. I admire your tenacity.”
Zinn put the envelope back in his bag. He made a decent wage at the bakery, but not enough that he could protest the investigator’s kindness.
“Again, I’m grateful for your efforts,” he said. “If by some miracle you turn something up, please don’t hesitate to contact me.”
“Your dedication is commendable.” Dawson steepled his fingers together. “But if I may…”
“Of course.”
“My husband and I adopted our son through an agency. His birth parents were very young and had no intention of being a couple. It’s an open situation, so our boy still communicates with his alpha and omega fathers, as well as his half-siblings. It’s been a win-win for everyone, frankly.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“You’re sure Zeller’s fathers adopted his son out through an agency?”
“Yes, like I said when I hired you, there are three things I’m sure of. Zeller Parkenson had a baby. The baby was born around April 30, nearly eight years ago. And he was adopted out through an agency in Warburton Province, where Zeller’s family lives.”
“Well, this might be cold comfort, but chances are, the boy is in good hands. Agencies are well-regulated and conduct rigorous assessments of their clients. Even if they took a bribe to destroy the records, it’s unlikely they handed the child off to someone unvetted.”
Zinn closed his eyes. Dawson was right. Zeller’s parents had done something monstrous when they gave his baby away, but he doubted they had allowed the child to end up in any sort of disreputable situation.
Keyes and Deveron had believed Zeller would come to accept their decision, that he’d eventually forget about his son.
But they’d underestimated Zeller’s bond with his child, the baby he’d made with an alpha he loved with all his heart. At least for the short time they’d been together.
“I hope you’re right,” Zinn said. “I hope the boy is happy and healthy and living his best life somewhere amazing. But until I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I’ll never be able to rest.”
“It’s one of my policies to never ask clients what they’re going to do with the information I gather. I don’t want to know if I find evidence that leads to a divorce or someone blackmailing their neighbors. That’s why I’ve hesitated to ask if you planned to potentially disrupt a happy family.”
Slowly, Zinn shook his head. “No. But I need to know for sure that the boy is okay. I want to see what he looks like. What he likes to do. If he likes sports. Or has a pet. Does he enjoy school?” I want to see if he has his alpha father’s eyes.
“Zeller deserves those answers. He can’t really live without them. ”
“I’m terribly sorry I couldn’t help,” Dawson said. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
***
Zinn arrived at Felton’s Bakery ten minutes before his shift, slipping into the staff restroom without alerting anyone to his presence.
Standing at the sink, he examined his reflection in the mirror. He’d cried for half an hour after leaving Dawson’s office. His continued inability to find information about his son was a bitter pill.
No. Not his son. Zeller’s son, he reminded himself. As strange as it was to think of himself in the third person, he wasn’t that man anymore. Zeller didn’t exist. The only part of him Zinn still carried was his pain.
After splashing cold water on his face and replacing the flesh-colored patch covering the prominent mole on the apple of his left cheek, he ran his fingers through his hair. Honey-brown roots peeked back at him. He definitely needed to touch it up this weekend.
With no mole and darker hair, he no longer looked like the scared omega who’d caught a train out of Warburton on his twenty-fifth birthday.
Gone were the skinny calves and soft physique.
He’d never been overly fragile, but months of kneading dough and carrying fifty-pound bags of flour had given him new bulk and definition.
When Zinn stepped onto the platform in Bellwether Province two years ago, he’d sworn never to go back.
But he was stronger now, and more focused.
With Dawson’s failure to produce information, perhaps the only solution was to return and face his parents.
Maybe the years had softened them, given them a chance to reconsider.
He scoffed. Unlikely.
But what other option did he have?
As if in answer, his stomach twinged with a mild cramp. It began there before radiating to his back. A wave of nausea followed. Zinn breathed through the unpleasant sensations. Even if he wanted to confront his parents, it would need to wait a few months.
Until after his heat.
He’d taken his last suppressant the week before.
Dr. Shey had warned him he couldn’t take any more.
It wasn’t safe. The alpha doctor had stern words about his suppressant usage, along with other things.
Zinn couldn’t even think about it today.
He forced himself to drink some water before tying a short apron around his waist. In the main kitchen, he plastered on a smile.
His boss, Calder, waved at him. “Hey, Zinn. Are you okay hanging in the back today? The two wedding cakes need detail work.”
Usually, Zinn didn’t mind covering the front and chatting with customers. But he welcomed the reprieve today, along with the reminder that he had a useful skill. Calder had taught him the basics of cake decorating a year ago, and within months, Zinn had surpassed the alpha’s skill.
Zinn was lucky to have found a good job at the bakery, and now that he was able to use his artistic skills as Felton’s primary cake decorator, he’d discovered his calling as well.
Creating beautiful designs that made people smile gave him joy and purpose.
And helping the bakery develop its reputation for producing unique cakes allowed him to do something meaningful for Calder, who had taken a chance by hiring a single omega who’d never held a job.
“I’m happy to finish up those cakes,” Zinn replied. “It’s been kind of a rough morning, so it’ll be good to have a task that gets me out of my head.”
Calder paused taking inventory, studying him with concern. “You okay, sunshine?”
“All good, cap.” Zinn’s insides warmed as they exchanged the familiar nicknames. “Working will help.”
Calder put his clipboard down, placing a reassuring hand on Zinn’s shoulder. The alpha’s pine and clove scent invaded his senses, heating his omega blood more than it usually did. He bit the inside of his cheek. Stupid impending heat.
The cold metal of the main workstation pressed against Zinn’s back as he peered up at his boss.
“I’m here if you want to talk,” Calder said seriously, his tone low enough to be dangerously close to an alpha voice. “I’m here if you need…anything.”
Zinn nodded, mesmerized by the severe set of the other man’s jaw and the flecks of gold in his bright green eyes. It wasn’t as though he’d never noticed how attractive Calder was. Of course he had, along with most of the customers.
He’d just never been so overwhelmed by it before.
Usually, he liked their playful banter and enjoyed the low-level pull between them.
It felt safe, because he knew it wouldn’t go anywhere.
Calder Rosen was eleven years older than him, a widower with two teenage sons.
He had a thriving business and was a respected member of the community.
He was only friendly because he was a kind man, which was good because Zinn had nothing to give him.
He didn’t even have a past.
Still, Calder’s hand comforted him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d craved someone’s touch. Without thought, he angled his head and nosed the alpha’s knuckles.
Calder sucked in a breath. The pulse in his neck ticked visibly as his fingertips pressed down. The beginning of a rumble emanated from his throat.
“Oh, hey guys, I was just looking for the jar of chocolate chi—”
Lolo, the bakery’s longest-tenured staff member, entered the kitchen, stopping short at the sight of Calder’s hand on Zinn.
Zinn jerked back.
“Uh…sorry…I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Lolo stammered.
“You didn’t.” Zinn slapped his palms over his apron. “Calder was just letting me know I’m on wedding cake duty.”
The alpha said nothing but continued to stare. Zinn widened his eyes, silently pleading with him to stop looking so severe.
Finally, Calder softened his stance. He reached behind Zinn to grab the chocolate chips off the shelf, holding the jar out to Lolo. The beta grabbed it quickly and scurried into the main room.
“Sure you don’t need my help with anything, sunshine?” Calder asked, his rough voice competing with the hum of the refrigerators.
Zinn raked his gaze across the alpha’s broad chest and powerful forearms. The heat hormones taking root in his body wouldn’t allow him to do anything other than imagine touching all those bumps and ridges, sinking into their embrace and allowing himself to be taken care of for a while.
He banished the thought. Flirting was one thing, but he couldn’t involve himself with an alpha. Especially not his boss. No matter how kind he was.
Or how good he smelled.
Zinn had barely survived having his heart broken and shredded the one time he’d fallen in love. He would never give anyone that power again.
“Thanks for the offer,” he said. “But I’m fine.”