Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
Calder was proud of their compassion and maturity. Although Jordie was quiet and studious while Ked was loud and brash, they had their empathetic hearts in common. He hoped that somewhere in the stars, Denni could see them.
“It’s not so bad being an alpha or an omega,” Calder assured his sons. “I really enjoyed sharing heats with your daddy.”
“Ew!” Ked gagged dramatically. “We don’t need to know that.”
“I wasn’t going to give details. I’m just saying.”
“We get it,” Jordie deftly shut down the topic, punching his brother lightly on the shoulder. “What Ked meant by being lucky was how so much of this is driven by instinct for you. To us betas, that lack of control is hard to imagine.”
Calder could see that perspective. “You really are a thoughtful kid.”
“No he’s not,” Ked said sassily. “Being with an alpha like Kino just makes him think about all this gender stuff.”
Calder frowned. After the late pickup incident, Ked talked to Jordie about his boyfriend. Jordie hadn’t realized that Ked had been feeling neglected. Since then, he’d made more of an effort to spend time with his brother. He’d even switched shifts at work to go to Ked’s game yesterday.
“I thought you liked Jordie’s boyfriend,” Calder said.
Jordie grabbed Ked and attempted to put him in a headlock. “He likes him just fine. He just doesn’t like that he’s a school nerd like me. Ked wants me to date somebody who’ll play soccer with him.”
Calder chuckled, relieved at the lack of true animosity between them.
“Yeah, Kino’s cool,” Ked said. “And, duh, you should date someone who’s into what you’re into. It’s just weird how everyone knows about his family.”
Calder hummed. The same thought had entered his mind when Jordie started seeing Kino McGinn three months ago.
Calder had been concerned not only because Kino was an alpha but also because his parents were the McGinns, a well-known polycule of five men including the famous omega rights lawyer Teal McGinn.
But Calder found Kino to be unfailingly humble and polite. Most importantly, he treated Jordie well. Ked was likely correct that Jordie’s exposure to Kino was what had him thinking about instincts and biology. The McGinns had literally gotten famous by pushing social norms.
Since meeting Kino and learning about his family firsthand, Calder had thought about what it might mean to love more than one man.
Polyamory wasn’t common in society, more tolerated than endorsed, but he’d never seen the problem with it as long as everyone consented.
Hearing about the McGinns’ chaotically happy household, with its five fathers and ten children, made the concept even less abstract.
Truthfully, he was curious. He and Denni had married so young, he’d never had the chance to explore anything other than the typical alpha/omega dynamic and monogamy.
When Denni died, Calder had assumed that was it for him and love. But being near Zinn, feeling his heart opening again, had him re-thinking the views he’d always held. Sometimes love surprised you. It was impossible to predict.
“I like Kino’s twin brother, Garin,” Ked said. “He plays on the varsity soccer team. And his brother Zane just started coming to drama club.”
“All Kino’s brothers are different, same as us,” Jordie said. “But they’re close, just like we are.” He yanked Ked’s head into his lap and gave him a noogie.
Calder smiled. He’d raised some good kids. Kids who were almost grown.
Was he really hoping to start all over again?
The possibility of impregnating Zinn was the one thing he hadn’t discussed with his boys. And luckily, they hadn’t asked. He wasn’t sure how they’d react to it, so he figured he didn’t need to introduce the conversation unless it happened.
Watching his sons playfight, he imagined another child, one with Zinn’s cheek mole and Calder’s jawline. He thought about Zinn’s dyed hair. Sometimes the roots peeked out. He pictured those chestnut-gold strands on the little boy.
For a long time, Calder had felt like a huge part of him died alongside his husband. The possibility of rebuilding a full life had seemed remote when all his energy went into simply getting from one day to the next, keeping the bakery afloat and raising two kids.
But Zinn had brought light back into his existence. The chance for healing. Calder wasn’t even forty. He could have a new act.
While he’d mostly framed this experience as him doing Zinn a favor, Zinn was helping him just as much by accepting his offer. He still had a lot of life left to live. And he loved being a father.
Just as he’d loved being a husband.
And a lover.
If he did this right, Calder could prove to Zinn that it was okay to let his guard down. He couldn’t force Zinn to change his mind, but he could try to demonstrate that he was worth taking a chance on.
He raised his eyes to the ceiling and said some silent words to Denni.
I’ve grieved you for a long time, my love. But I believe you’d want me to be happy. Maybe it was you who sent that frightened, fierce omega into Felton’s so long ago. Maybe you knew what he needed. What I needed.
“Papa, does Zinn know when his heat will come?” Ked asked.
“He thinks in the next few days.”
“Has he been here?”
“No. I told him he could move in early and get situated, but he wanted to stay at home as long as possible.”
“Why didn’t Zinn want you to come to his apartment to do this?” Jordie asked. “One of Kino’s omega dads, Sorcha, still has heats. Kino said he stays home for them.”
“This house is neutral,” Calder answered with his best guess. “Since he was originally going to contract with a service and use a heat hotel, I think Zinn’s more comfortable keeping it separate from the rest of his life.”
Jordie lifted his shoulder. “Whatever makes it easier. Like I said, I’m just glad you’re doing this for him. And even though we don’t want to hear about the specifics—”
“Absolutely no specifics.” Ked made an X with his forearms.
Jordie tittered. “We don’t need details, but I get why you wanted us to see this place, and why you thought this whole thing might be weird for us. But it’s not weird that you want to help Zinn. He deserves better than some rando.”
“Yeah,” Ked said. “He deserves the best.”