34. Chapter Thirty-Four #3
“My alpha father, Keyes Parkenson, is well known. He’s the tax minister in Warburton Province.”
Calder inhaled. “They can’t touch you. Even if they find you. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’ve realized these past few months that I’m not scared of them anymore.
That’s why I stopped dying my hair. I’ll always be angry, and I’ll never forgive them, but I’m not afraid.
In fact, I’ve been thinking that I may need to go back and confront them.
I don’t want to. But I might not have a choice. ”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re the only lead I have on finding my son. Them and Asher and Antoni. I hired a private investigator to try to find something, but he came up empty.”
“Whatever you decide to do, I’m there for you.”
“I know. And that’s why I came here tonight, because you deserved this information. You should understand that, as much as I will love and cherish our son, I’ll never stop searching for my firstborn child. I need to know he’s okay.”
“I’ll help you.”
Zinn shook his head. “It’s not just that. I also need answers about Valentin. To find out if I truly put my faith in the wrong man.”
“You said you still love him?”
“A part of me does,” Zinn admitted. “It’s complicated. He was the first person to really understand me. See me.”
Calder digested Zinn’s words placidly. “Did you ask the PI to look for him?”
“No.” Zinn barked a laugh. “Priorities. Investigators are expensive.”
“Hmm. Well, if you wanted to find him, he’d probably be easier to locate than a baby whose name you don’t know.”
“I’ll think about it.” Zinn pressed his face against Calder’s pec.
“But I want to give myself a little while to enjoy this miracle before I resume searching for anyone.” He linked their fingers together to rest on his belly.
“And I want to give us a chance…you and me. I might mess it up, but I want to try.”
Zinn didn’t say out loud that he was already half in love with Calder. And not just because of the pregnancy.
“You really want to?”
“Yes.”
Calder’s heart beat rapidly beneath Zinn’s cheek. “We can take this as slowly as you need to.”
“But you understand? Until I find my son, there’s going to be this question mark, this enormous piece of me that’s missing. And part of my heart will probably always belong to Valentin.”
“My omega, I hope someday you will love me. But that doesn’t mean you need to love only me.
” He scraped his fingers through Zinn’s hair.
“You’ve been so busy surviving and hiding these past two years, maybe it never sank in that you’ve built a whole life here.
You have a career, friends, and an alpha who loves you.
And now that I know our baby has a brother out there somewhere, I promise I will do everything I can to get those answers for you.
But in the meantime, he also has two brothers right here.
Jordie and Ked will be thrilled about this pregnancy. ”
“You think?”
“They adore you, sunshine. Just like I do.”
“I adore them too.”
“And that is one of many reasons your past is not an issue for me. If anything, knowing the truth makes me love you more. You have a baby with Valentin somewhere in the world, and in nine months we’ll have our baby. They are brothers. Your past and future are always going to be connected.”
Zinn looked at him. “You’re a big part of my future, alpha. No matter what else, I’m sure of it.”
Calder dropped his head until their foreheads touched. “Can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
Zinn expected him to lean down, but Calder stood, lifting Zinn under his butt until they were eye to eye. Hungrily, he fused their mouths together.
Without the urgency of heat, Zinn savored the sweet intensity of Calder’s lips.
When the alpha’s tongue delved into his mouth to explore, he welcomed the intrusion, matching his ferocity.
Calder’s arms tightened until it felt as though their bodies were melting into one.
Breaking the kiss, he moved down Zinn’s jaw to his neck, burying his face against his scent gland.
“This sugar maple of yours is going to kill me,” he groaned.
Zinn nosed Calder in return, inhaling the pine and clove.
Slowly, Calder lowered Zinn to his feet and stepped back. “We don’t need to have all the answers tonight. This was more than I dared hope for.”
Zinn nodded. “I meant what I said about this all happening so fast. My head feels like it’s spinning, but…I’m good.”
He shocked himself with the admission, mostly because he realized it was true. He’d been on edge for years, yet somehow, all the changes with Calder over the past few weeks had brought the opposite of chaos. They’d given him peace.
“I love you,” Calder said. “I know you’re not ready to say it back. But you deserve to hear it as often as possible. If that’s okay?”
“It’s okay.” Zinn gave him another swift kiss. “Do you mind driving me to my apartment?”
“Of course.”
“Great. Because I need to get up early for work tomorrow. Those cakes aren’t going to decorate themselves.”
“Perfect. And I have a fun one for you. A child’s birthday.”