Chapter Forty-Five
Zinn
“Zeller?”
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
Zinn was supposed to get acclimated to having Ryde in his life. He was supposed to get to know Assa and Wes. He was supposed to navigate the ins and outs of becoming a family with Calder and his sons.
After that, when he was prepared, he would seek out Valentin and get answers to the questions that remained from his past. On his own terms. In the future.
Except now, Valentin stood in front of him. Very much in the present.
And Zinn hated that his first instinct was to call him alpha.
“Not Zeller,” he stuttered out. “It’s Zinn.”
Valentin breathed out, “Zinn.” He looked at Wes. Then Assa.
The couple was unmistakably connecting the dots in real time.
“Stars,” Assa murmured, clutching Wes.
Wes pulled him against his shoulder. “It’s alright, sweetheart. It’ll be okay.”
Zinn sucked in a harsh breath, willing himself to stand tall. He was stronger than before. Different.
Valentin had changed too. At least physically—body thicker, jaw more defined, hair darker.
But his eyes, and the way he looked at Zinn—that had not changed.
Who was he, really? Was he the man who’d held Zeller and sworn he would fight for their love? Or was he the man who’d left without a word?
Despite those questions, Zinn’s heart leapt at the sight of him. He hadn’t lied when he’d told Calder he would always love Valentin. There was anger there too, and confusion, but more than anything, Zinn ached to touch him. To feel the warmth of his skin, to make his presence even more real.
Gentle fingers squeezed his shoulder. Calder. The man who had given him another chance at life, at fatherhood. And although his body vibrated at Valentin’s nearness, his inner omega never wavered in understanding. Calder was his alpha too.
The air filled with the smell of pine and clove…and smoky sage. Zinn closed his eyes, breathing in the scent he hadn’t imbibed in eight years. Beneath his arm, Ryde tensed.
“What’s going on?” the boy asked as the silence lingered. “Who is the man?”
Valentin’s eyes were trained on Ryde, full of wonder and longing.
“Um,” Zinn faltered. “I think we are all just a little surprised that we ran into this…old friend of mine.”
Behind him, a light pat grazed his upper back. The calming energy of the omega bond traveled through him. It was the nurse who tended to Ryde earlier. Zinn had been terrified that his son’s injury was serious, and the omega had offered his support. Just as he offered it now.
The kinship omegas felt when they shared physical touch was something Zinn had rarely experienced. He’d had so few omegas in his life, so little opportunity to make those connections, especially since his omega father was not one for affection.
“I have a few more questions for Ryde, if that’s okay,” the nurse said kindly, rubbing circles over Zinn’s back. “Hey, Ryde, how about you come with me to the desk, and we can talk for a few minutes?”
Zinn turned to him. “Thank you.”
“Perhaps your group would prefer to move to the private waiting area,” the omega said, gesturing to a nearby door. “I can keep the patient busy.”
At the nurse’s concerned expression, Zinn became aware of the other people in the room. Everyone was staring at their awkward standoff.
“We’d appreciate the opportunity for privacy,” Calder said. “Thank you for watching out for Ryde.”
Calder ushered them all into the small room. It barely accommodated five bodies, so they remained standing. Calder gave reassuring biceps taps to Wes and Assa as they passed, and Zinn felt a rush of gratitude when he offered a genuine smile to Valentin.
Had he expected Calder to be aggressive, for him and Valentin to growl at one another?
No. They were alphas, not animals. But a certain wariness would be fair.
And probably it was there, beneath the surface, but he appreciated that Calder remained his usual steady self.
Valentin returned his smile, hesitant but honest.
Calder shut the door.
Valentin gave tender looks to Wes and Assa, who stayed quiet but nodded encouragingly. Zinn realized Valentin was the alpha they were dating. The thought made his stomach swoop. They’d been within arm’s reach for months.
“Can I hug you?” Valentin asked him.
Zinn dipped his chin, and a second later, Valentin’s arms surrounded him, pressing their bodies tightly together.
Despite the physical differences Zinn noticed earlier, the clinch felt familiar.
Perfect. He recalled their first forbidden embrace in his bedroom.
Holding Valentin now felt like getting back something he’d lost.
Something he’d been searching for.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Valentin murmured in his ear, combing his fingers through Zinn’s hair. “I worried and wondered and thought about you every day. There were some days the missing you got so bad, I could barely stand it.”
Zinn’s body was stiff at first, but as the words poured from Valentin, he couldn’t help the relief that coursed through him at knowing the alpha was healthy and whole, and that he’d missed him.
Images flooded his mind, overwhelming him.
Long conversations in the library. Walks in the garden.
Watching the alpha from his window. Valentin, arriving aimless at the estate and finding direction in the vision of their future.
Zinn, discovering his full-throated voice after seeing his strength reflected in Valentin’s eyes.
The cat they’d shared. The secrets they’d shared.
The heat they’d shared.
Calder, Wes, and Assa hung back, allowing their reunion to play out unimpeded.
“I can’t believe I’m holding you,” Valentin continued, his grip remaining tight.
“I had to leave Bellwether, to stay safe, but I tried to find you. I never gave up hope. And I would have looked forever.” Finally, he pulled away and peered at Zinn’s face, keeping his arms around his waist. “I can’t believe you’re here. ”
“Same,” Zinn whispered.
Valentin touched their foreheads together before hitching his neck toward the lobby. “I can’t believe he’s here.”
“His name is Ryde,” Zinn said solemnly. “And he’s beautiful. I just met him last week.” He motioned to Wes and Assa. “You know his parents.”
“Yes.” Valentin seemed to shake the rust off his thoughts. “I know them… I just didn’t know that they are…who they are.”
Apprehension invaded Zinn’s chest because he knew what he had to say next. It was hard, but also not. Because he was sick of secrets. Tired of the unknown. “And that alpha—” he pointed “—is Calder…my partner.”
Valentin’s arms slackened, but he did not stammer when he turned his head and said, “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
“I feel dizzy,” Valentin said, releasing Zinn and stepping back. “And I have so many questions.”
“I have a few of my own.”
Valentin bit his lip. “Can you perhaps start by telling me why you changed your name?” He scratched his temple. “I guess that’s why no one could find you.”
“There’s a longer story, but basically, I needed something new to stay hidden from my parents. And the name I chose was… Well, you know why—”
“Zinn…for zinnias.”
“That’s right.”
“The tattoo,” Assa whispered, then clamped a hand over his mouth.
Valentin gave him an affectionate glance before turning back to Zinn. “You chose that name. So, in a way, you took a piece of me with you.”
At his awed tone, the last of Zinn’s anger faded. It was shocking how quickly it left his system, almost like a physical force. Considering he’d held onto it for so long. Only the sadness for what might have been remained.
Zinn seized Valentin’s hand and placed it over his own heart. “It wouldn’t have mattered if I changed my name. I always had a piece of you with me. Here.”
“Always.”
Zinn swallowed roughly. “Valentin?”
“Yes?”
“Why did you leave?”
“What?”
“Why did you go away when I needed you most? Were you really that afraid of my parents?”
“Oh, stars. Have you really spent all this time thinking I left you by choice?”
“I didn’t want to believe it.”
“Did you, though?” Valentin sounded distraught.
Zinn’s breath caught in his throat. Had he truly thought Valentin left of his own accord?
Not at first, but eventually, in his worst moments, yes.
His parents never wavered in their story.
Antoni had corroborated it. Asher insisted Valentin was a loser and a coward.
But deep in his soul, Zinn always believed something more had been at play.
Even when his hope for Valentin’s return evolved to fury at his absence.
In that instant, squeezed into a room with the four most important men in his life, he knew.
“No,” he whispered, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I said I did. I even thought I did sometimes. But no. I never truly believed that you took the money and ran away.”
Valentin cupped his jaw, brushing away the tear with his thumb. “They literally had to lock me up to keep me from you.”
“My parents?”
Valentin nodded. “They stole our happy ending.”
Of course Father and Daddy were to blame. He’d known without knowing.
Zinn laughed mirthlessly. “This is so wild. So perfectly fucked up!” He looked at Wes and Assa. Then back at Valentin. “And you’re dating Ryde’s fathers.”
“Until fifteen minutes ago, I was dating a couple with a son I hadn’t met yet. But yes. It appears so.”
Valentin turned to the betas and quirked an eyebrow. “Our date is going well, don’t you think? Injury, drama, family secrets revealed. It’s going to be tough to top this one.”
Wes’s lips turned up. “Meh. We unknowingly hired our son’s omega father to bake his birthday cake.”
Assa smirked playfully. “I met Calder eight years ago when I arranged a phone call for a stranger with his dead husband’s parents.”
Zinn finally felt like smiling. “The universe certainly put us all on a collision course.”
“And with that—” Calder laughed lightly. “I think it’s time we got everything out in the open.”
Valentin explained to Zinn about being thrown in prison based on his parents’ false testimony. Zinn was disheartened to learn that Antoni knew about the plan, even if he didn’t help facilitate it.
“He could have told me after the fact,” Zinn grumbled. “It’s not like I could have done anything about it. But at least I would have known.”
“Asher mentioned you were pretty belligerent with your parents after the baby was born, especially since they kept gaslighting you,” Valentin said.
“It’s why he didn’t tell you who Ryde’s adoptive parents were, knowing you’d move mountains to find them.
He was worried Keyes might hurt you. Antoni probably thought keeping you in the dark about me made you safer. ”
“When did you talk to Asher?” Zinn asked.
Valentin shook his head ruefully. “Another insane coincidence. He rescued me from some guys who tried to jump me outside my club. We’ve met up a few times since then. He’s been looking for you.”
“Wes and Assa told me.”
Valentin eyed the couple. “You talked to Asher?”
“Mm-hmm,” Wes replied.
“But you didn’t tell him where Zeller—I mean Zinn—was?”
“When he first came to us, we didn’t know. After we met Zinn, he asked us not to.”
Valentin returned his attention to Zinn. “If it helps, Asher was clueless about me going to prison.”
“He wouldn’t tell us anything about Ryde’s alpha father,” Wes added. “Same as Zinn. That’s why we didn’t recognize your name.”
Valentin nodded. “And until Asher found me a month ago, I didn’t know about my son. When I got out of prison, Antoni strongly implied that the baby had never been born.”
“Motherfucker!” Zinn cried.
“I’m not excusing what he did,” Valentin said quietly, “but again, I doubt that he acted out of malice. I think he was trying to keep me safe, knowing you’d want that.”
“You’re probably right,” Zinn agreed. “If you had tried to find me or the baby, and gone to my parents, they would have done worse than locking you up.”
“Antoni did what he thought he had to. More than anyone, he’s afraid of your parents. I suppose we should be grateful that he found enough courage to go along with Asher’s plan to get the baby to the Pashuks.”
“Yes.” Zinn reached out and twined his fingers with Assa’s. “Thank stars for that.”
Valentin stared at the place where Zinn and Assa held hands. The visual must have sparked something in him because he looked at Wes and Assa and said, “Asher mentioned you were worried Ryde’s alpha father might try to mess things up for you… I will not.”
Assa engulfed Valentin in a quick hug. “Thank you.”
Zinn had been so focused on the shock of seeing his first love that it only slowly dawned on him how much affection there was between Wes, Assa, and Valentin. They had been on a date. Just as he’d been on a family outing with Ryde and Calder.
There was so much to unravel. Valentin had mentioned his club, but what did that mean? How tight were he and Asher? And Valentin knew nothing about Zinn’s life. About Felton’s and the cake decorating.
Valentin didn’t know that Zinn was pregnant with Calder’s baby.
The only thing Zinn was sure of was that the five of them were inextricably linked, along with Ryde, Calder’s sons, and the new baby. What that would look like in practice was still to be decided, but for the first time in eight years, it felt like all the holes in his soul had been patched.
“There is a lot to discuss,” Calder said sagely. “But we don’t have to solve it all tonight. Now that all of us have the same information, we can choose how we want to proceed.” He glanced at Zinn. “And you have a loud voice in all this, sunshine. No one will take your choices away ever again.”
“Thank you,” Zinn said, his love for both alphas melding in his heart. “We should probably rescue Ryde from the nurse. Poor kid’s probably wondering why they need to know his favorite subject in school to treat a strained wrist.” He laughed. “And I could still really go for some pizza.”