10. Chapter 10
10
My hands ached from kneading the dough, and I massaged them. Bram gusted out a lengthy sigh, and his fingers knotted behind his back. He perched in the doorway, likely scared I would ask him to do one more task.
“Charlie looked so sad when I poked my head in earlier. He wants me to stay and play with him,” he wheedled.
I sprinkled the board with flour and worked the dough again. Sweat trickled down my back in a slow, lazy line. I’d asked Bram to hang out some sheets on the clothesline for me and collect some corn from the garden for dinner, but he wanted to play with Charlie. The cute calf was much larger now, plump with steady meals.
“When you do these jobs for me, you can play with Charlie. That’s not too much to ask.”
Bram and I leveled out a fine-balanced friendship since the pie incident. He still liked to prank me by jumping out from corners and trying to give me a fright. But there were no more tantrums or glares when I was at the dinner table. I could see today would not be one of those days. The heat burrowed into each of us and its prickling, unrelenting grip sharpened our tongues.
“It’s not fair. First, I didn’t get to go to town, and now I can’t play with Charlie.” His bottom lip jutted out.
I wiped the back of my hand against my forehead. “Enough. I’d like to play with Charlie too, but I have to make your dinner, wash your clothes, and sweep up the dust you tracked into the house just now. Sometimes we must do things we don’t like and that’s life.”
Bram grumbled under his breath and stomped out of the kitchen. His dusty boot prints on the floor, a pointed reminder of his unsaid words. The front door slammed, and I deflated, fingers sinking into the dough. It was more than heat fraying my threadbare nerves.
I only had enough tea leaves for one last cup. After that, my scent would return to my own and I didn’t know if Hale would ever forgive me. He’d held my hand the entire ride home from town yesterday, but that wasn’t all he’d done.
Hale kissed me.
Again.
“Esta. I need to tell you something.” He met me by my bedroom door in two strides of his long, powerful legs. I sucked in an unconscious breath.
“About today, in town.” He cleared his throat.
My hand flattened on his chest. I didn’t want to hear about Claudia, about his past, or what happened. I knew in my heart he wasn’t a dangerous man, and Claudia showed no fear of him at all. If anything, she seemed put out that he didn’t pay her any attention.
“Don’t, please,” I whispered, and Hale peered down at my hand. So small against the hard expanse of his chest. His hand fell to my hip, and his head lowered until it was inches from mine.
“I want to kiss you, wife.” His tone was low, gritty sawdust, and the rough expanse of it tunneled through my heated veins. The hazel of his eyes darkened, like the mossy nook of a forest inhabited by a beast. His lips brushed against mine, featherlight and warm. I’d looked at his lips so many times, not knowing why, but now I understood.
It was me who pressed up on my toes and flattened my body against his.
It was me who moaned wordless pleas, whose fingers scrambled against his shirt. Burrowed against the seams in search of more.
More what?
I didn’t know, only that it lay on the stamp of his body. His scent was smoke, heady and thick in my lungs, choking all logic. Hunger replaced all thoughts, a raw, intense surge I never experienced before. Daniel’s forced kisses felt like wet slugs against my skin.
It was nothing like this.
Hale clamped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. His moans vibrated through me like a lightning bolt. I sank my nails into the thick column of his neck, wanting to mark him. His hand landed on my breast, and he squeezed. The nipple hardened underneath my dress, and I gasped in surprise. My drawers were wet and hot, and I rubbed my thighs together to contain the slick. The tea had the added effect of reducing the substance, but now it was coming back. His tongue painted a path of fire along my lower lip. Only then did I jerk my head back.
My slick.
Hale recognized the mood change, placing my feet on the ground.
I didn’t give him a chance to speak, letting out a shocked squeak and fleeing.
He’d been gone all day, and I knew it was because of how I reacted. Embarrassment flared through me in another mortifying wave.
“Esta? I need your help,” Bram called from outside, and I set the dough aside with a sigh. I could wait until tonight to explain myself to Hale. The overwhelming desire frightened me. The hunger for him wrenched up through my stomach. Demanding satisfaction. But what did that mean? Even now, my body was hot with churning, pulsing desire. The slick between my legs was sticky, another reminder of what I was and the tenuous grip I had on my lies. Bram was holding a hessian sack over one hand and his cheeks were ruddy and dirt-streaked.
“I hope you didn’t hang the clean washing with those hands.”
“See for yourself.” Bram flicked up an eyebrow, and I looked around the house to see the white linen, free of marks. Something made me pause on the step of the porch.
“Can you pull this bag off my hand? It’s tangled around my wrist.” Bram came to me when it was obvious I would not go to him. My fingers sunk into the scratchy material, and I pulled it off without a thought. Only to find a snake flying toward me. Brown as the dirt painted on Bram’s face, the small reptile uttered a furious hiss as it hurtled toward me. I let out a piercing scream, darted to the side and smacked my head on the pillar of the porch. The knock clacked my teeth together. My tongue caught between them. Pain burst from the side of my head, and my voluminous skirts tangled like ropes around my legs. I waved my hands in terror as I smashed into the stairs, tumbling down the small set in a flurry of sharp-edged cries and thumps. Iron and dust coated my mouth.
“Esta? I’m so sorry. It was only a grass snake. It won’t hurt you.”
Bram crouched beside me, his small face white and eyes wide with terror. My head was muzzy with radiating pain, pressing in on my vision and making me wince. I lifted my hand to the side of my skull, prodding gingerly at the wound there. My fingers came away warm, wet, and…red.
“I don’t feel good.” I slumped back in the dirt, my lungs ached with hot breath. Everything throbbed, including the thunder inside my skull.
“Esta? What happened?” It wasn’t a storm, it was Ruck.
He must have heard my high-pitched scream. His shadow loomed over me, and I closed my eyes. He was so like Hale. In my muzzle-headed state, I was struck speechless. Their hazel eyes were almost identical.
Where Hale was rough-hewn stone and sharp lines, Ruck was wild grace.
His jaw was clean-cut, but his hair tangled long at the base of his neck. His fingers squeezed my shoulder, and I whimpered at the firm touch. Not from the pain but the warmth that pooled deep in my belly.
“It was only a prank. I caught a grass snake, and I thought I’d scare Esta. Like you’ve done to me before,” Bram wrung his hands.
“You little fool. You don’t throw snakes at ladies. Saddle a horse and fetch Oliver and Hale. They’re at the bottom field today. Go.”
Bram’s feet slapped against the dust as he ran toward the barn. I groaned as Ruck palpated my limbs again.
“Checking for broken bones. Do you think you can stand, Esta?” Ruck’s voice was so tender I thought I might weep. A hot, throbbing pain shackled my thoughts, and I shook my head, though it protested at the movement. Ruck crouched, quiet with a stricken panic. The tendon in his neck flexed as he weighed his options.
“I can’t leave you out here in the dirt. I’m going to have to lift you.” His fingers crept around my form, soft with apologies.
A sharp pain radiated out from my hip, stuttering my breath in a harsh pant. “My hip, I fell on it.”
Everything was a blur as Ruck swept me into his arms. The shelter of his expansive chest settled the jerky tremors that coursed through me. His leather and hay scent gave me strange comfort as I winced and whimpered through his considered steps.
“Almost there. You’re doing so well.”
Ruck laid me on the couch and bundled a cushion to prop under my head. I protested, trying to push it away. “I’ll get blood on it.”
“Damn the blood. I want you comfortable. Hale would want you comfortable.” He corrected himself and squeezed the back of his neck. “I’ll get a cloth to clean the wound and see how deep the gash is.”
I relented, too weak to truly fight his orders. My entire skull was one giant pulse of pain, and I couldn’t meet the bright light streaming through the curtains for long. When I’d hit the ground, all the bravado and cheek drained out of Bram, leaving him pale and wobbly. I hoped Hale wasn’t too firm with him. He was only a boy, after all. I wasn’t raised on a ranch where snakes were common, and fear desensitized. Ruck returned with a bowl of clean water and a cloth, dabbing it over my face first.
“You’ve scraped your little nose.” He sounded offended on my behalf, but his tone drew a soft laugh.
“My entire body is a bruise, if I’m honest, but my pride most of all. Was it truly only a grass snake?”
Ruck cupped the back of my head, hissing under his breath as he parted my blood-matted hair. I gripped his wrist, feeling his pulse leap. But his touch was exceedingly gentle, and he paused each time I tensed, letting me breathe and relax into the probing clean.
“It was, but that isn’t the point. He should know better than to act that way toward you. I thought after the pie he realized you weren’t a threat to him, but it seems he needs a reminder.”
I stroked Ruck’s wrist, and he inhaled like a whistle.
“Please don’t. It was the heat of the day. I snapped at him earlier and he retaliated how he knows best. If anything, I’d say he’s accepted me.”
Ruck shook his head, wringing out the cloth. The diluted red swirled, hypnotic. The pulse in my head drifted behind my eyes now, and it was hard to keep them open. I let them flutter closed, slumping into the gentle hold of Ruck as he ministered to me.
“He needs to learn,” Ruck murmured, his dabs soft, “you’re not like us. You’re so much softer and breakable. You need to be cherished, cared for with tenderness.”
“Thank you for your kindness, Ruck.”
He said nothing more, but I was aware of him the entire time. My body prickled with his proximity, his scent like a blanket over my battered body. I meant what I said, though. The shock of the incident was wearing off, and now my teeth chattered. I felt the fool for letting a snake knock me off my feet in such an embarrassing fashion.
“I need to check you for other injuries.” I cracked an eye to see Ruck tensed before me. His hands clenched around the soaked cloth. “In case I need to ride into Misery Creek for the doctor.”
The thought of Dr. Goodman coming to the ranch made acid in my stomach rise, and I choked on the sting of it. The way he spoke about Hale concerned me, the vehemence in which he believed he was mistreating me. He would take one look at my injuries and make the same assumption.
I couldn’t take the chance.
“Please, no doctor. I don’t like him.” I flapped my hands to sway Ruck. From the moment I met him on the train, he reminded me of Daniel. Because he was human or from the unnatural interest in Designated? I didn’t know, but I trusted my gut.
Ruck rocked back on his heels and gave me an assessing look. “Is that why you didn’t wait for me yesterday like I asked you to?”
The fix of his evergreen-flecked eyes froze me. My stomach bubbled with heat, the sharp edge of pain blunted. The stare between us grew long.
“What happened between the omega in town, Claudia, and Hale? Dr. Goodman said he’d been arrested, that Hale should never have been let free.” I changed the subject.
Ruck’s cheeks reddened, and a dark flush swept up the thick column of his throat. He tossed the cloth, and it made a wet thwack in the bowl. Ruck inched closer, enough to notice the minute nose flare and the dig of his teeth into his lip.
He gathered himself before he answered. “Of course, nobody could mind their business. What happened to Hale was a travesty. He was the victim, not Claudia. But it’s not my story to tell, as much as I want to wipe away the doubt in your eyes right now. Hale would never knowingly hurt another person, despite what rumors you might hear in Misery Creek. There is a reason we don’t go into town much because, even years later, lies persist. Your husband is loyal, strong, and good-hearted. Please don’t let what the doctor told you change your mind about Hale. He’s been waiting for you a long time, though he doesn’t know it, and it would destroy him to go through another loss.”
“So, he cared for Claudia? He lost her because of what happened?”
Ruck reached out and brushed a damp tendril from my forehead. “No, he never cared for her. She’s an omega, remember? He’s never trusted their kind.”
I frowned, wincing as it sent a wave of pain through my skull. I thought Hale’s hatred of omegas stemmed from Claudia, that the dark-haired woman bewitched him with her petite beauty and broke his heart somehow. She’d burned him so badly he couldn’t forgive her for it. But if this bone-deep hatred wasn’t caused by her, then what? The small hope of Hale forgiving me when he found out my betrayal shriveled a little more.
“But why? What could cause him to hate omegas?”
Ruck grimaced, the answer tying his tongue. His jaw clenched on an elongated silence. It wasn’t his story to tell. I slumped on the couch. Ruck would not help me. What good would it do? My time had run out, and my peace. Because when Hale realized I was an omega, he wouldn’t forgive me. He might have kissed me like I was his salvation, but that was when he thought I was a beta.
I was a liar and a fraud.
The pain in my body multiplied, and I scrunched my eyes shut. I wasn’t ready for what was to come. I whimpered, and Ruck launched forward. His fingers feathered over my forehead.
“What can I do? I can’t stand to see you in pain.”
Tears filled my lash line, and I let them fall, let the miserable reality of my situation wash over me. Soon I was sobbing, and Ruck cursed before lifting me onto his lap. His powerful arms banded around me, and I leaned into the comfort he offered.
“It hurts.” I gasped against his dusty shirt. He smelled of Dalton, sun, and the wild. I couldn’t admit that it was my heart breaking that hurt, not my head. The injury ached fiercely, but it had nothing on the tearing underneath my ribs.
What would Hale do when he discovered I lied to him?
A smaller part of me wondered what Ruck would do, what Oliver would do. Would they hate me as well? The thought created another wave of desperate tears. My fingers clutched Ruck’s shirt as if he could solve my torment.
“It’s ok, you’re safe. Oh, darlin’, please don’t cry.”
I was lost in pure panic now, spiraling with the reality of my lies. Hale hated everything that made me, me. I knew he would see my actions as duplicity, and it made my heart clench. Ruck lowered his lips and pressed them against my forehead.
I froze.
“You’re breaking me, darlin’,” Ruck whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead again. Fire raced down my spine at the touch, and I pulled away, staring open-mouthed at him. Ruck shook his head as if dazed. Like he couldn’t believe he’d touched me in that way. I should have pushed him off. I should have done something.
But the door slammed.
Hale and Oliver had returned.