28. Chapter 28
28
Esta had the prettiest neck I’d ever seen.
The long, smooth column haunted my dreams. It wasn’t enough to go to sleep tucked against the pale length. I nuzzled it now, enjoying the way Esta sighed with pleasure in her sleep. Both Oliver and I should have felt cramped in the bed, tucked under the quilted blanket. It didn’t quite reach over the three of us, but I didn’t care about my cold behind, not with Esta fit between us, soft and toasty. The perfect buffer.
Oliver’s hands roamed over our omega, sleepy brushes he managed with his eyes closed. I ran my nose down Esta’s neck again, nudging my cheek against her scent gland and ingraining my scent on her. A sigh fluttered out. I was waking her up. But I couldn’t help myself. Her back curved against my front, and I reached around to cup her breasts. I hadn’t managed to convince her to sleep naked yet. But Esta didn’t realize the thin night shift did little to dissuade me. The deterrent only riled my desire because stripping it off her while she squirmed and panted was always what happened. Her nipples hardened against the material, and I rubbed them between my forefinger and thumb until she arched against me.
“Good morning, darlin’. How did you sleep?” I whispered in her ear, pinching her flesh until she moaned.
“Ruck,” she protested, but it was a futile whimper. My fingers still carried the scent of her from last night, and I intended to sully every other part of her body before we got out of bed. It had been weeks since Esta asked us to keep her warm at night. I used to be an early riser, up while the stars still twinkled in the sky. Now, I never wanted to leave the covers. Not when I could burrow under them with my pretty omega.
“It kills me to remind you we promised to go visit the Baylark pack today.”
Esta rose out of bed with a gasp, her hair a nest from our playing last night. She whipped wide eyes at me in anger. Her mouth dropped open with gorgeous surprise.
“You didn’t forget. You just wanted to keep me abed.”
I exchanged a cheeky grin with Oliver as he rolled off the cozy mattress. I planted Esta on her back and straddled her. Her long neck arched as she refused to look away or submit to her alpha.
The primal part of me shook with the desire to make her.
“Why would I do a thing like that?” I gripped Esta’s wrists and pressed them into the mattress. Her soft lips parted, and I couldn’t help but steal a taste. I didn’t have to hide the lust that surged through me at her perfect, delicious flavor. Peaches, velvet sunshine. I ground my hardness into her belly, and for a moment her tongue tangled with mine. My head spun as she gasped and bucked, wrenching her sweetness away from me.
“You’d keep me here all day, wouldn’t you?” She grumbled, and I let her slide out from underneath me, following her to my feet. Oliver finished dressing, and he held out a brush.
“May I?”
Esta collapsed into the chair, and I laughed at her swollen, half-dazed expression. The door cracked open, and Hale poked in his head. Esta stiffened for a moment, and her arm rose to cover her breasts. The movement only drew his quick eye, and they both colored at the tantalizing sliver of hard, rosy nipples Esta attempted to hide.
Forbidden fruit.
Hale cleared his throat and tore his gaze away. A twinge of pity clenched my gut. These slow, cold weeks of winter were the warmest in my memory. But while Esta sought mine and Oliver’s warmth, Hale endured a bone-deep chill. Regret was a shroud he took with him everywhere. He’d taken to growing out his scraggly beard but shaved it off today. It hadn’t escaped Esta’s notice. I had to admit, even with the weight he’d lost, he looked handsome. Hale had always been the most sought-after alpha in Misery Creek, and part of that was his stately good looks. Esta seemed mesmerized by the sharp line of his jaw and the red scar that marred it.
“Baylark pack will expect us. It’s closer to midday.” His knuckles turned white on the doorframe.
I wonder if it was killing him, not being welcomed in her room, in her arms, or if it was the sight of his brothers in the place that should have been his, as her husband. His nostrils flared slightly, and his eyes jammed closed for a long moment. When he opened them, there was so much agony. I bit my tongue, intending to say…what? It wasn’t my place to offer forgiveness.
That was in Esta’s power alone.
“We’ll be ready,” Oliver replied, gruff as he brushed Esta’s silky locks with gentle care.
Hale lingered as he no doubt caught the remnants of our nighttime activities. I spread my legs, expecting a flare of temper or frustration, but Hale’s shoulders only slumped forward. Each day I spent with Esta, I felt myself growing taller and stronger. It was having the inverse action on Hale. Without her sweet love, he faded. It was his own fault, but my chest still ached for him. I could never imagine having Esta and losing her.
“I’ve organized Bram and packed some of the cake you put aside.” Hale peeled his fingers off the doorway with a rough exhale. My brother purged his envy with frantic, productive action this morning.
Bram hadn’t noticed the change in dynamics between us at all. Or it didn’t bother him enough to make note of it. I suspected it was the latter. He was protective and careful of Esta, like a sister. Especially when Esta started reading aloud after dinner in the sitting room. She would run her finger along the lines for Oliver’s benefit as she did. Bram stared at her like we all did as if she was the anchor and salvation. We kept ourselves as quiet as we could when touching each other, but it was a challenge. I looked forward to the winter easing further when Bram would return to school, and I could make Esta scream my name until the rafters rattled.
“You shaved.” Esta addressed Hale directly, and he let out a strangled noise.
Her fingers drifted to her jaw as if she were tracing the line of his scar. His eyes fluttered closed like he was feeling it.
“It was past time.” Hale’s answer was hoarse, and he let the door close before she could reply.
I smothered a smile. Esta didn’t realize the significance of Hale shaving off his beard, but I did. It meant the feathers he’d been collecting weren’t enough. The small increments of forgiveness he’d earned were too little.
Hale never needed to try hard for attention from women. A firstborn son, set to inherit the ranch. His looks breached any nerves women might have about him. His reputation did the rest. The most sought-after bachelor in Misery Creek. Even with the blemish of public enragement, he was desired. The streak of darkness titillating women more than they’d like to admit.
Oliver’s family history was too spotty that no self-respecting woman considered him. More fool them. I was too wild. No woman ever made me want to put down roots like Esta. Hale encompassed the best of the Hartlocks, and he was the responsible, rich husband women dreamed of. Until Claudia grew too impatient for his proposal, which made Hale into something he’d always feared. Uncontrollable. He’d hidden it under his beard. The scar marked him as a beast. Hale was realizing what it felt like to be a gentleman.
Not enough.
Hale would have to tear down his world like a beast to win Esta’s heart again.
Let her see all the broken, scarred insides and hope she found something worth forgiving in them. I wanted it for him. I wanted it for us all.
“Is that from…” Esta asked, blinking with curiosity that wouldn’t abate.
I would help my brother this once. Oliver’s brow furrowed as he continued to brush through Esta’s hair.
“Ask him the story, Esta. You know some of it, but not all.”
I could tell my admission weighed on her mind throughout the cart ride to the Baylark Farm. Snow melted in chunks and frigid earth peaked through. The wind was bitterly cold still and journeying out was a fool’s errand. We should have stayed home. Where our fingers didn’t cramp, nor our noses bled liquid like a tap. But Esta wanted to visit her friend and their dog was due to have pups which Bram was excited to see.
Emory and Garcell kept their pretty beta from coming outside, rushing Esta into her waiting, noisy hug before we could even disembark.
“Come in, come in.” She waved our chilled group inside the kitchen and pressed a hot drink into Esta’s hands. “You must be freezing cold.”
Esta took a tentative sip. The scent of apple and cinnamon wafted over to me. Bram bounced on his toes in the doorway.
“The pups are in the first bedroom. Be gentle with them. Daisy is an overprotective mom.” Garcell recognized the reason for his pent-up excitement.
Our younger brother flashed a grateful, white-toothed grin and left the adults to defrost. Emory sidled around the kitchen, draping an unneeded shawl across his cousin’s wife’s shoulders. The soft look of thanks she gave him intrigued me. Perhaps familial, certainly friendly, possibly more. My curiosity built like a hunger. It would be good to know if there were others or at least know how they could stand it. Garcell slid a waxed bottle of amber liquid across the table.
“I figured it’s early and cold enough for a tipple. The ladies have apple cider, though only one for you, Lucinda.”
She flushed bright red, her freckles jumping out of her face. I didn’t miss the way her hand strayed to her stomach, covered by heavy woolen skirts and an apron.
“It’s delicious and very needed. I’ve never felt such a greedy cold before. Like it wants to take the flesh off my bones.” Esta admitted, taking another deep sip of her cider.
There was one seat beside her, and I strained toward it. Knowing it wasn’t my place. Hale dragged his heels as he sat beside his wife while Oliver and I squeezed on the opposite side. We would have to get used to pretending if we wanted to live this life. No matter what we’d chosen, packs were against the Hierarchy Laws. But I ached to be the one beside Esta, to rest my arm against hers like Hale was doing now.
“Did it not get cold where you grew up?” Lucinda asked, accepting a mug of cider from her husband with a sigh. The heat from their oven made me shrug off my heavy jacket and loosen my collar. The first sip of spirits burned on the way down my throat, and the second tasted like heated molasses. Esta pressed her warm mug to her cold, flushed cheeks. She was a vision.
“I didn’t leave the house much if I’m honest. It was soon churned brown with muck from carriages and boots. I much prefer the wildlands, even though it doesn’t seem fit to welcome me without a test.”
The cider warmed my omega, and we fell into an easy conversation about the winter. Our stores were barely touched. Hale ordered more in addition to our pre-ordered supplies, terrified of Esta being uncomfortable.
“Any livestock lost?” Emory asked, his gaze distracted by the bright laugh of Lucinda.
His expression softened, and I wondered how I’d never seen it before. He loved her just as deeply as I did Esta. Garcell fussed over his beta enough that she waved him off with a scowl. It only made Emory more pleased. I shared a hopeful look with Oliver. Knowing this was what we were striving for. Hale, on the other hand, looked out of place next to Esta. He watched her as if she were spun crystal, delicate enough to shatter if he leaned too close.
“Nothing, although I’m sure those wolves will be back come spring,” Oliver said.
“Speaking of, are you excited about the Spring Dance? I could use your help to get it organized.” Lucinda turned to Esta. “Misery Creek doesn’t have much in the way of society.”
“I thought Claudia was in charge of that?” Hale tapped his glass, and I could have hit him.
Why would he bring up that omega, knowing her memory exacerbated the wedge between Esta and him? Esta looked down at her drink as if the insides of it were more interesting than a dance. She worked hard to smooth the bothered furrow in her brow.
“Claudia expects to be with child by the end of winter, or so she told me before the snow set in. She’s decided I’m to have the honor of organizing this year.”
“Well, if being with child excludes, you should find someone else to do it.” Garcell pursed his lips, not realizing what he admitted until Lucinda let out a soft laugh. Esta abandoned her drink on the table and snatched up Lucinda’s hands. Her dislike of Claudia forgotten in the excitement.
“Is it true? You’re going to be a mother?” Lucinda nodded, and a glistening tear jerked off her lower lash. She quickly dashed it away, but not before Emory let out a soft growl. He cut it off when I looked at him, swallowing as his cheeks colored.
“We’re so pleased, so excited. It feels like a lifetime to get to this moment.” Lucinda gushed and Esta wrapped the beta in a clutching hug.
“Congratulations.” We all nodded to Garcell, and again, my stomach twisted. Deep down, I knew it could be Emory’s child as easily as Garcell’s. We’d banished the cold from outside, but a new kind creeped through my veins. The icy chill of reality. Unaware of the luxury of our wintery bubble, able to touch and hold each other with no repercussions. In front of others, I would have to pretend Esta didn’t own every inch of my heart. My throat tightened, and I struggled to breathe for a moment. One day, she might have my child, and I wouldn’t be able to say a gods-damned thing. Lucinda squeezed Esta and hit her with a moving, wide-eyed plea.
“So, you must help me. I won’t be too far along, but still. Please say you’ll assist. You must have hosted many parties in Breton City, and I want this one to be the best Misery Creek has ever seen.”
Esta’s face lit up with eager excitement before it snuffed it out like an unlit candle.
“I would love to,” her hand dragged down her gorgeous neck. “But I-I’m unmarked, and the sheriff forbade me from coming into town until I was.” She stared into her cider again as an awkward tension descended on the room. Lucinda made a soft puff of surprise.
“So, what are you waiting for, Hale? Mark your omega before someone else does.” Garcell slapped Hale’s tight shoulder, his joke lost as Oliver surged to his feet.
“I need some air,” he muttered.
His face was pasty white as he fled the room, and for a moment, I considered joining him. I’d been so happy with Esta in my arms this morning as if I clasped the entire world in my grasp. How bitterly cold it could be to watch the woman you loved belong to someone else. Esta looked at me, and her bottom lip wobbled before she caught it between her teeth. But it was too late. Everything about our pretenses unraveled. How could it not?
Hearts can’t stay hidden. They refuse to.
My ribcage tightened around my foolish organ. As if that could stop the pain, the taste of iron coated my throat. Hale muddled through an excuse as silence dragged suspiciously long.
“We’re only newly married, and I won’t rush Esta into a bond.” His jaw clenched, and Esta’s shoulder hunched over. My arms ached to hold her.
“Oh, but you’ve been married for near on six months now. You won’t be able to keep her designation a secret come Spring Dance, even if you don’t attend. An unmarked omega in the wildlands is the ultimate test of civilized society. You ask too much.” Lucinda argued, her head whipped between Esta and Hale like she might get a satisfactory answer.
Garcell quietened his wife, and I felt a pang of jealousy to see the ring on his finger.
“Lucinda, leave it. It’s none of our business.”
A curl fell from behind her ear, and she felt the grip of tension that made Hale and I as hard and still as a frozen lake. Esta emptied her mug and slapped on an overly bright smile. A darkness whipped through me.
“May I see the puppies? I desperately wanted a pet when I was younger, but my father never allowed one.” She shook out her skirts and bustled around the table before Lucinda could protest.
The beta followed a disturbed expression sinking into her face. I reached for the bottle of spirits, needing the fortification to burn away the sick feeling in my gut. Garcell and Emory watched us closely. They waited for the women to leave before resuming the conversation in earnest.
“This isn’t idle talk. You must mark your omega. I heard a group of humans are traveling for the dance. If they see you brawling in defense of Esta, even to protect her, they’ll find you in contempt of the Hierarchy Laws.”
My canines ached. They ached and ached at the thought of Esta’s perfect neck. Unmarked. The wildlands seduced many Designated. Some who wanted adventure and the unknown. Some who liked to be as brutal as the humans accused us of being. I’d once thought to join them, and only my loyalty to Hale stopped me. Now, the urge to give in to animal instincts gripped me again. Damn society and the law.
“You don’t understand. It’s not so simple as you think.” Hale sighed. His sharp expression softened as Esta’s squeal of joy echoed through the small house.
“Did you promise the first mark to Oliver or perhaps your brother?” Emory cut to the heart of the problem, and I almost dropped the glass clutched in my hand. Hale spluttered out protests as Garcell stared at his cousin before spinning and pointing a shaky finger at me.
“Y-you? And Esta?”
I shook my head and tried to put the glass on the table, but my hand trembled so much that it overturned, and amber liquid spread like the disbelief on Garcell’s face.
“Shut your mouth about Esta, you understand?” I couldn’t smother the vehement snarl that escaped me.
My pulse hammered in my ears, and I tried to tamp down the aggression scorching my insides. I clawed my fingers into my thighs instead. Hale let out a hollow laugh, ducking his head to tear at his hair.
“You’re a fool to think you can pretend without your mark on her and lucky that you came here first.” Emory stood from the table and tossed a cloth over the seeping liquid. “I’m going to find Oliver. Clearly, he’s involved in this as well.”
“It’s not—” Hale tried, his words strangling as Garcell shook his head. The Baylark alpha stared down his nose with white-lipped shock.
“Don’t lie. Of course, it’s obvious. Packs are illegal. Don’t you know what a dangerous game you are playing?”
“The same one you are.” I shot at him, and Garcell slumped into his seat. He tossed the rest of his drink in his mouth and swallowed it with an audible gulp. The heat of the oven became unbearable as my veins bubbled with fury.
“And if we are? You have a young brother to think about. Who will care for him when the sheriff arrests you for flaunting the law? Just because you’re in the wildlands doesn’t mean you’re free.”
“But you’re having a child with Lucinda. Are you not courting the same danger as we are?” Hale dropped all pretenses, not above begging his best friend. I scooted forward in my seat, eager for answers now the truth spilled out.
“I’m an alpha. Emory and Lucinda are betas. Even with my mark on her, it’s hard. You are two—three alphas,” he amended, thinking of Oliver. “And Esta is an omega. There is no way you can pretend without the entire town knowing in a second. Think of her locked in a room with Chauncy Bertram and tell me you would be happy with it.”
Chauncy Bertram was a Designated who drifted through the small towns searching for work. He materialized a few months a year and attracted attention wherever he went. Dark hair, blue eyes, voice like an angel, and hands like the devil. He made women swoon. Hale and I were on our feet in seconds. A rattling snarl escaped me before I could stop myself. Hale scrubbed his hand down his face as I sank like a stone. Garcell eyed us both with more care.
“You’re a pack.” He wanted the truth, and it still felt too new to speak it out loud. The glow came off the euphoria I felt about Esta being mine. Replaced with a sickening jolt of terror. Hale managed a curt nod.
“Since the start?” Garcell’s brow furrowed, and I bit my tongue. I didn’t want him to know these things, but it was too late. He reached out a wavering hand. “I mean no harm to your omega. I only want to help you. Lucinda, Emory, and I have lived as a pack for some years now.”
“It’s complicated.” Hale and I shared a look of resolve. At Garcell’s urging, some of the rising aggression tapered off, and the story came out. I turned my ear and caught the tail end of a fit of giggles. Esta was still safe. Oliver filled the doorway, Emory followed, scuffing his boots on the slight wooden lip.
“That secret didn’t last long.” Oliver let out a gusting sigh.
“Congratulations! You’re about to live the way we were always intended to, the way Designated should.” Emory started, and Garcell waved him off with a wry smile. The beta stitched his mouth, but his eyes twinkled.
“They aren’t quite ready for one of your sermons, although he’s not wrong.” Garcell fixed each of us with a weighted look. “You’ll be happier, stronger, and more stable together. That’s why it’s imperative you mark Esta, each of you. Otherwise, you risk losing control of your instincts. I can’t imagine how heightened your dynamics are. Lucinda makes both of us even-tempered. But I’ve heard stories of other omegas. If we could live the way we were supposed to, it wouldn’t matter so much. But there is already a perception about you, Hale.” Garcell poured a finger of spirits into each of our glasses.
“Shall we toast to the gods?” Emory rummaged around the cupboard and pulled out three stone effigies. I knew what they were; Oliver had his own version, which he kept hidden.
The Sage, the Warrior, and the Oracle. The gods we were forced to give up.
“We’re all sinners. We may as well revel in it.” Emory winked.
Garcell held his drink up in a silent toast, and I gulped mine in desperation.
“You know others?” Oliver asked.
Garcell’s smile crept over his face.
“Welcome to a whole new world, gentleman. Let me tell you everything.”