Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
MIA
I pace the small ready room given to artists at Sound House before going on stage. A local artist finished opening for us about twenty minutes ago, and while the others went to watch from backstage, I stayed here. They haven’t returned yet. Thankfully.
It’s been days since my last drink, but I’m staring down the provided mini bar with a racing pulse and a desperate need to calm my nerves.
Thousands of people are out there. They came to hear us play.
I thought I was ready. I still think I’m ready. But I can’t stop being anxious.
Sable might actually kill me if she found out. Wes, too. But neither are here even though they should be by now. Actually, Wes might be around Sound House somewhere, schmoozing with anyone worthy of networking with, but I haven’t seen him.
Regardless, I’m alone.
Alone with the mini bar, my nerves, and a show to play in less than twenty minutes as my first live gig with a band I joined less than a week ago featuring my favorite musician of all time, and every one of them is an alpha scent match.
Yeah, screw it.
I race over to the mini bar and pull a sample bottle of whisky from the selection. It only contains a shot or two, and I down it in one go. The tan liquid burns my throat but I immediately feel—or think I feel—it calming my frayed nerves. A second little bottle of whisky sits behind it. I drink that one, too, for good measure, and then toss both in the trash as the door to the ready-room opens. A flash of pink, short-cropped hair is all the warning I have.
Sable launches herself through when she sees me and wraps her arms around my neck. We stumble sideways but manage to stay upright. “Mia!”
I hold her close. “Hi! Thank you for coming out tonight to support us.”
Sable pulls back. “Duh, why wouldn’t I be here?” Her eyebrows fold in on themselves. My gut sinks. “Did you drink?”
There’s certainly no denying it when she’s close enough to smell it on my breath. “Just two of those small bottles. My anxiety right now is through the roof.”
Sable purses her lips and looks at me less like a disappointed parent and more like one who understands. “There are other ways to deal with it.”
“I know.” I gesture vaguely in the direction of the stage. “But this is the quickest. It’s just building and building right here.” I rub my closed fist against my chest. “What if we screw this up?”
Sable holds my shoulders. “How can you? You won’t. You have two performers who are used to this size venue and this type of gig. And your bassist’s performed before as well, too, right? And so have you.”
“Thousands of people, Sable,” I argue. “Not the hundreds that fit into Seth’s place.”
She raises her chin. “Seth’s here, too, speaking of. He’s excited to see you perform again.”
More like he’s excited to go anywhere Sable invites him. Turns out, Seth’s quite the golden retriever love interest.
“Hope he enjoys the show.” Hopefully it won’t be the wrong kind of show.
Sable glances around the ready-room. “Where are the guys?” She’s yet to meet them, but I know how badly she wants to shake Aiden’s hand and possibly profess a love going back many years into her teens.
“Backstage,” I answer. “I should join them. We’re due on shortly.”
Sable grabs my hand and pulls us toward the door. “Do lead the way, then! I want to meet these scent matches of yours.”
My stomach flip-flops again and I shoot a longing glance at the mini bar. “We’re not really focusing on that right now.” But my mind is replaying much less professional encounters with both Leo and Noah.
Sable knows. She knows everything since I tell her everything. She smirks. “Sure, but when it comes down to it, I still want to have met them. Because are you really going to keep them at arm’s length forever? They seem chill enough.”
“Chill enough and pack material are two different things.”
“Says a woman who’s never been with an alpha or a pack,” Sable counters. “Surely it’s worth a shot.”
I stop walking. Sable pauses too. “I just want to get through tonight, Sable. Wes surprised us with this yesterday, and even if we’re ‘ready,’ I don’t think we are.”
Sable holds my face in her hands for the briefest of moments. “You’re more ready than you’ll allow yourself to feel. So let’s get you up there to your band. I’ll be in the front row against the barricade cheering you on.”
Sable has been my rock since fourth grade. I have to believe her, even if I don’t believe in myself.
Especially when I don’t believe in myself.
I nod, and we walk together up to the backstage area where the rest of Exit Fate are getting ready. Aiden’s already strapped on his guitar and Noah’s doing the same as we enter. Leo’s jumping a bit with drumsticks in his hands. He’s wearing a black tank top, and the others are similarly dressed, plain colors, no real logos, and definitely no logos for other bands.
I decided on my signature black vest, black tank top, black jeans look as well. There wasn’t really time to put together something more momentous for the occasion. Maybe by next gig.
If there is a next gig.
No, there will be a next gig. This is simply just the start.
“There she is,” Noah exclaims with his trademark roguish grin.
I wave to my bandmates and go straight for my guitar. “Finally here, yes. Guys, this is my best friend, Sable. Sable, meet the guys.”
Her eyes go wide as they wave to her. She’s really disguising being starstruck well, I’ll give her that, if that’s her only tell. “Well, hello. Thank you for taking my best friend under your wing, or—is it into your pack?”
It’s my turn for my eyes to go wide. I shoot her an incredulous look.
Sable giggles. “Figured I’d get that out of the way quick. Yes, I know.”
Aiden takes a few steps toward her. “Any friend of Mia’s is welcome here with us. It’s nice to meet you.” He extends a hand for her to shake.
It’s the first and only time Sable hesitates. “Y-Yes, hi. Aiden.” She ducks over his shoulder. “Leo. Noah.”
“Oh yeah, she’s a fan, too,” Noah says as he elbows Leo.
Leo chuckles. “Considering Mia’s eyes when she first met us, I’m not surprised.”
Embarrassment ripples in waves through my body. “Well, thank you everyone, this has been super fun. I think we have a show to play.” I focus heavily on making sure my guitar is ready to go.
The guys and Sable laugh at my expense. Really, I’m happy they’re getting along so well right away. But for fuck’s sake my cheeks are warm.
And my veins already buzz.
Well, that alcohol worked fast. I take several slow breaths while Sable and the guys keep hitting it off. Finally, her head of pink hair comes into view as she hugs me one more time.
“Break a leg, girl,” she says. “You’ll do amazing.”
“Love ya, girl,” I say to her. Then she’s off to find Seth and fight her way to the barricade. She may be small, but good luck to anyone who even tries to get in her way. She’ll show them not to bother trying. I’ve always admired that about her.
Wes pops in as Sable is leaving. “Look at this: Exit Fate ready to play their first gig.” He claps. He’s clearly proud of himself for putting this together, but there’s an extra layer of pride, too, for us. “Break a leg, and all that. Not literally of course.”
“Thanks,” Leo tells him, still smiling. He’s stopped jumping in place by now, although I may need to take that up instead of drinking nerves away.
“Are we ready?” Wes asks.
Most of us nod, but I catch a look on Aiden’s face I’ve never seen before.
Hesitation.
Aiden swallows hard. “As ready as ever.”
The time comes and we hurry to the stage. And holy fuck the crowd is huge. Sound House is by far not the largest venue in the city, but from the stage, even with the stage lights hiding much of the crowd, it seems infinitely large. Everyone is loud , a sea of dark thunder I can’t totally visualize.
The crowd cheers as we take the stage, but they’re definitely not as loud as they maybe were for our opener. It’s hard to tell from the ready room. As we play, though, Aiden’s mask of hesitation doesn’t melt away to his usual stage presence. He’s also late on his queue for our opening song, a cover of a five-year-old classic.
It’s then I realize: it’s not hesitation, it’s stage fright and a healthy dose of worry. Worry that seems warranted as the crowd is less than enthused about the cover.
Fuck.
I hop on to a black box on the stage at the end of the song. “Welcome out tonight!” The crowd cheers a little. Sable’s square in front of the first row, right against the barricade as promised, with Seth standing behind her keeping her safe. I thank our opening band and the Sound House for having us tonight. “We’re Exit Fate! And while you might see some familiar faces, I can assure you we’ve got plenty of new things cooked up for you. We hope you enjoy!”
We roll immediately into the first of the three songs we’ve written so far, the one we know best: For The Night. It’s a quick but heavy song about fast love, fast lust, fast falling, and it all being gone by morning.
But for one quick night—we’re alive.
The crowd goes wild for it. I grin back at my bandmates as we end the song and roll into a slightly remixed version of my song Dreaming Late . Aiden, Noah, and Leo—they all grin back at me. The very same magic we created on the day we first met, during our very first jam session, is here and it’s grown ten-fold. I feel it all around me—the music, the creativity, the way we fall into step together. Even Aiden seems less worried now, less full of stage fright I didn’t even know he had until today. Our vocals blend together seamlessly, as if we were always meant to form one voice in a song. I feel Noah’s bass lines thrumming in my chest, and my feet move to Leo’s beats.
It’s like we’re all one creature, breathing together. Living together.
Being a pack together.
The energy brings us through Ugly Love Affair , our second original song, and Enmity , the one we threw together last. So far, For The Night is the crowd’s favorite. The covers come next and bring us through to the end of our set. Any uncertainty in the crowd about Exit Fate seems gone by then, and we leave the stage to thunderous applause.
“Holy fuck,” I exclaim once we’re back stage. My body feels electrified and I’m pretty sure it’s got nothing to do with the alcoholic buzz warming my veins. “That was everything.”
Leo and Noah share a beaming grin themselves, but it’s Aiden coming up to me, a look of sheer joy and relief on his face, that steals my attention. As it should. Because he doesn’t stop until only inches separate us, even as Noah and Leo watch us.
“Mia,” Aiden says.
“Aiden.” I look up at him. He towers over me, his green eyes bright and so alive . I understand how he must feel because I’m feeling it, too.
“So maybe social media isn’t all bad,” Aiden admits.
I shrug a little and smile wider. “It’s not all bad, no.”
“Your live filled Sound House tonight.”
I shake my head. “No, our band did. Each of us brought something tonight, and that’s what matters most.”
“Our band,” Aiden echoes as his hand slowly comes up to cup my face. His thumb brushes my cheek and takes my breath away.
For years, I had posters of Aiden on my bedroom walls. I fantasized what it would be like for him to hold me like this. Leo, too. That the versions of them I watched on stage for years as a fan have fallen away to these more intimate and real selves. The fact we’re here, now, and this is happening , still hasn’t fully set in. Sometimes I think it has, and then one of the guys does something to shatter my reality again. Like Aiden is right now, his gaze dropping to my lips with Leo and Noah barely feet away.
I swallow hard. My mouth has gone dry as Aiden’s scent completely envelops me. As all of their scents do. Words bubble up my throat but I’m too afraid to voice them. To put into reality things we’ve all thought about. Things we’ve already talked about.
Right now, it all seems possible. Everything seems possible. Because everything inside me and outside feels alive .
“Our band,” I say again. “Our pack .”
Aiden treats it like the invitation it is. He leans in and captures my mouth with his. His hand lowers to hold the back of my neck, and his thumb caresses my throat as our tongues dance.
Leo and Noah sort of chuckle in acceptance and satisfaction.
I still worry that balancing a new pack and a new band at the same time might not work. That one or both are paths to destruction for the other.
But in this very moment, my worries wash away with the taste of Aiden. And then the taste of Noah and Leo as they kiss me, too, in turn.
The door then barges open and Wes erupts into the room, “Well fucking done, Exit Fate. Well fucking done.”
Wes goes off about how there are loads of videos being uploaded, comments everywhere, and emails to him about gigs and interviews for us. I’m not entirely sure any of us hear it because we’re all still smiling at each other.