11. Memories
Memories
I was hot. The blankets on top of me irritated my skin and sweat trickled down my back when I sat up.
My hand jerked back as I tried to lift it to wipe my face. Right. River had handcuffed himself to me.
"There better be a good reason you're waking me up in the middle of the night," his voice sounded right beside me in the dark, hoarse with sleep.
"I need the bathroom."
"That's why you went before we went to bed," he muttered.
"Well, sorry I'm human and my bodily functions don't shut off at bedtime!"
He twisted, yanking on my hand and knocking me over. I fell onto his side, jabbing him in the ribs and he growled at me. Then I felt his arm stretch and he turned on the bedside lamp.
I hadn't moved when he twisted to lie on his back and I ended up sprawled across his chest.
He smelled incredible. I wanted to just burrow into his chest and stay there forever. Sniffing deeply, I snuggled into him, rubbing my face over his muscles and scent marking him.
"Get the fuck off. I don't do this shit." River shoved me and I fell back onto my side of the bed, my arm stretched out. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Nothing." I could feel my cheeks blazing in embarrassment, my scent turning tart with embarrassment. How had my biology gotten the better of me like that? I didn't want anything to do with this man, let alone to mate with him, like my stupid body seemed to be trying to do.
River produced a key and unlocked the cuffs. "Go piss."
I slid out of bed, acutely aware of the slick dripping down my legs inside the gym pants. What I really needed was a shower, but I raced to the bathroom to pee and wipe away as much slick as possible.
"Leave the door open," River said from the bed. Good, he wasn't going to follow me in here.
In the bathroom, with the door slightly ajar, I stripped off my shirt and used a hand towel soaked in cold water to wipe away the sweat. I didn't want to put the damp shirt back on, but there was no way I was asking River for a shirt.
With most of the sweat cleared up, I used the toilet and then, with the same towel, cleaned my thighs and between my legs. The slick just kept coming and I kept wiping it away in frustration.
"What the fuck are you doing in there?" River's voice was closer.
I dropped the towel and yanked up my pants just as he stuck his head in.
"God, you stink, what's going on?"
"I got overheated." I shrugged, like it was no big deal.
He studied me for a moment with those deep blue eyes before sighing. "Get in the shower."
"What?"
"I'm not sleeping next to you smelling like you just walked out of a gym. I'll grab a shirt."
He'd see me naked but part of me didn't even care anymore. I stripped down and stepped into the shower, turning it to the scalding temperature I liked.
The water sluicing over my heated skin felt great, but it was too hot for the first time in my life. I adjusted the water until it felt good. The cool water helped me bring down my temperature as I scrubbed my skin clean.
A glance at the door told me River hadn't come back yet, so I started to wash away the overabundance of slick. Just brushing the soap over my inner thighs had my core clenching. My body wanted something. A massive muscular something . . . or someone.
I trailed a finger up to my folds, finding my clit. It was swollen and sensitive. Just running my finger over it made my knees buckle.
Jerking my hand away from my sex, I went back to washing my hips when River appeared.
He wrinkled his nose and tossed a bundle of clothes on the counter. Then he peeled off the boxer briefs he was wearing, revealing a long, slightly curved cock.
My eyes were glued to the bobbing length of the thing until River snapped his fingers and my eyes flew back to his face. He looked smug, but pissed off, his alpha scent filling the room.
"You're pushing out pheromones like an omega in heat," he groused, stepping into the shower.
I moved to the far wall, wrapping my arms around myself. What was I thinking, staring at the alpha's cock when he had me trapped in here. He could easily do whatever he wanted and I had no way of stopping him. For some reason, the fear sent another gush of slick and my scent perfumed the air.
River soaped up and washed himself down, not adjusting the temperature at all. Maybe it only felt cool to me because I was so warm.
"I think I'm getting sick," I told him. "The snow, the wet . . . it must have made me sick."
"Maybe. Or you're trying to entice the alphas in this house to knot you so we won't take you back to the ORC." His eyes hardened as he looked down at me, absently rubbing a hand over his chest. "You will not take advantage of my brothers."
Part of me wanted to say, "And you?" But I pressed my lips together and nodded. "Okay. I'm not trying to do anything." If anything, I wanted to get out of here and far, far away from all these alphas.
"I'm done," I said quietly, wanting to get away from this huge alpha.
"I don't think you are. You're perfuming and slicking all over. You're horny as fuck." He shook his head. "Why don't I give you an orgasm, you calm your ass down and we can get some sleep."
"Wh-what?" I stared at him. He hated me. He was taking be back to the center. And now . . . he was offering to get me off?
"That's what you want, right? To cum?" He looked bored. "I can do that. Fingers only. We'll get it done fast and you can get to bed and stop with this nonsense."
My body was nonsense to him. Half of me wanted to slap the man for being so insufferable, the other half wanted to take him up on the offer.
In the end, my stubbornness won out. "Fuck you!"
He looked surprised. Had he really thought I would just fall at his feet because he was an alpha?
I pushed past him, ignoring his half-hard length and got out of the shower. In the time it took me to dry off, River finished his shower and turned off the water. He grabbed another towel and stepped out.
"The offer was real. We'll both sleep better."
"You hate me, I hate you. There's no reason to think we should have anything to do with each other aside from this kidnapping," I snapped.
"Kidnapping?" He snorted. "That's rich. You ran away. You're in that center for a reason, you know! You couldn't be a good omega for your pack and they decided to cut their losses. I don't blame them."
"What about the alphas?" I asked, trying to hold back my tears. Why was I so damn emotional? I mentally steeled myself and gave him a disdainful look. "What happens to alphas when they're bad? Oh, right, nothing."
River froze, his hands in his hair, drying it with a hand towel. Then he slowly lowered it, his eyes darkening, if that was even possible.
"What alphas?"
"Does it matter? It's always the omega who's labeled the problem!"
"Did your pack hurt you?" he growled. "Is that why you ran away?"
"It doesn't matter." I rummaged through the clothes on the counter, digging out a t-shirt, black of course. Pulling it on over my head, I fought back the tears and the memories. How dare this man drag those experiences up again?
The shirt fell to my knees, just an indication of how big River really was. I pulled my hair back and braided it so it wouldn't soak me all night, then left the bathroom.
He followed me as I curled up on top of the blankets, still too warm to bother slipping under them. Flipping my pillow, I relaxed into the cool side and closed my eyes, determined to ignore River. He wouldn't believe me anyway if I told him what had happened.
But he didn't go to sleep like I'd hoped. Instead, he sprawled out on his back and stared at me. I was facing away, but I could feel his eyes piercing my back.
"What did your pack do?" he demanded.
"What are you going to do if I tell you?" I asked. "Will you magically not take me back to the center? No, you're still going to drag me there, kicking and screaming and pat yourself on the back for a job well-done."
He was quiet for a moment. "You're safe in the ORC. They'll help you find a pack that fits your needs."
"God, you really believe that, don't you?" I flipped over to glare at him in the dim lamp light. "You think the center is there to help omegas?"
"It is."
"Okay, sure. It's all for our benefit." Twisting to lie on my back, I stared at the ceiling. There was a lone glowing star up there. This really had been a nursery before.
River grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my palm for a moment. Then there was cool metal encircling my wrist and the snap of the metal handcuff.
"We'll talk more tomorrow. For now, get some sleep."
I couldn't sleep though. Between the anger and the fever, my body just wouldn't shut down. I lay there in silence, my mind filled with memories from the past.
"Your father sold us a defective omega!" Rory glared down at me. "It's been six months and you haven't even thought about going into heat. We want babies, that's the entire reason you're here. No heat means no babies, so what are you hiding?"
"N-nothing," I cried, on my knees in front of the alpha. The others gathered around, all of them with their dicks out.
"You better be very, very good at cocksucking then," he sneered, slapping his dick against my face. "Show us."
"Please, I'm not ready!"
"Then get ready." Brett crowded in from the side, showing me his stumpy cock. "It's been six months and I'm sick of getting off with betas when we have an omega at home."
"I don't want to be your omega," I told them tearfully.
"We paid good money for you. You better show up like your daddy told us you would."
Sobbing, I leaned forward and took him in my mouth.