Chapter 11 Nolan #2
The hospital is busy when we arrive. Erik goes to the coffee shop on the ground floor while I head up to Ellie’s room, grateful for the excuse to be apart.
I need to think and process what just happened. I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do about the fact that I just kissed my fake husband in the woods and liked it way more than I should have.
Ellie’s door is open when I reach her floor. I knock anyway, habit, and push through.
She’s sitting up in bed, her expression murderous.
I stop dead. “Hey. What’s wrong? Did something happen with the treatment?”
“When were you going to tell me?”
Her voice is colder than I’ve ever heard it, and Ellie has been through enough that she’s earned the right to be angry about pretty much anything.
“Tell you what?”
“Don’t.” She practically spits the word. “Don’t play dumb with me, Nolan. Everyone in this hospital knows. The nurses were gossiping about it when they came to take my vitals. I had to find out from a stranger that my brother got married.”
How fuck does anyone know? I told no one. No one except Hazel. Would she have told anyone? I rack my brains for what I told her. I asked her to keep it quiet until I’d told Ellie but that was weeks ago.
And then I hadn’t been married. She must have assumed that it was no longer a secret. Not if I was taking leave for the marriage.
The floor drops out from under me. This is my fault.
“Ellie—”
“You got married.” Her eyes are bright with tears she’s refusing to let fall. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“It’s not—” I cross to her bedside, reach for her hand. She pulls away. “It’s not what you think.”
“What is it, then? Because what I think is that my brother has been lying to me for weeks. I mean I knew you were being cagey about something, but that’s usually about money because you don’t want me to money. This is—” she breaks off. “How? Why? I don’t even know what to say to you.”
“It’s not real.” The words come out in a rush.
“It’s a Bureau arrangement. Compliance only.
I had to register because—” I take a breath, force myself to slow down.
“The medical trial. The committee rejected your application because I was an ‘unmarried omega in an unstable family situation.’ The only way to get you in was to get matched.”
Ellie stares at me. The anger in her face wavers, replaced by something worse: hurt.
“You did this for me?”
“Of course I did it for you. Everything I do is for you.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that!”
“You didn’t have to ask.”
“Nolan—” She presses her palms against her eyes, shoulders shaking. “I don’t want you to sacrifice your life for me. I never wanted that.”
“It’s not a sacrifice. It doesn’t have to be permanent. We can dissolve the match after a year and then everything goes back to normal.”
“You hate alphas.”
I sit down heavily on her bed and run my hands through my hair. “Yeah, I do. Assholes, every one.”
“And who is he? This alpha you married for my sake? Is he an asshole too?” She drops her hands, looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. “Do I at least get to know his name?”
I hesitate. This is the part I was dreading. The part I hoped I’d never have to explain.
“Erik Nilsson.”
Ellie goes very still.
“Erik Nilsson,” she repeats slowly. “As in Nilsson Industries?”
“Yes.”
“You married that Erik Nilsson?”
“The Bureau matched us. 98.8% compatibility.” I laugh, and it sounds hollow even to me. “Apparently the universe has a sick sense of humor.”
Ellie is quiet for a long moment. When she speaks again, her voice is barely above a whisper.
“How could you do this?”
“I told you. For the trial. For you.”
“There must have been another way.” Her voice breaks on the last word.
“Stop.” I grab her hands, hold on tight when she tries to pull away. “There wasn’t and it’s worked. Part of the agreement is all your medical bills being paid. All of them. For life. We never need to worry about it again.”
“But you hate him.”
“Yes.”
“And you have to live with him.”
“Just the next two weeks. Bureau requirements. Then I can tell him to shove it.” I try for a smile. “It’s fine. I can handle him.”
Ellie looks at me for a long moment. She’s reading me, the way she always has, the way she’s done since we were kids and I was the only one who understood her.
“You’re lying,” she says finally.
“About what?”
“About hating him. Or about being able to handle him.” Her eyes narrow. “Maybe both.”
I don’t answer. I don’t know how to answer.
“What’s going on, Nolan? Really?”
I think about the kiss in the woods. The kiss yesterday. The way my whole body lights up when he’s near, the way I can’t stop looking at his mouth, the way I wanted him so badly this morning that I had to leave the apartment just to breathe.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
“I don’t—” I run a hand through my hair, frustrated. “The chemistry is... intense. We’re matched at 98.8% and I can feel it, all the time. It’s like there’s a magnet in my chest pulling me toward him. And I hate it. I–”
I stop. Ellie is staring at me with wide eyes.
“You what?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
“Nolan.”
“I kissed him,” I blurt out. “This morning. In the woods. I kissed him and I liked it and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
Ellie is quiet for a long moment. Then, to my complete shock, she starts laughing.
“It’s not funny!”
“It’s a little funny.” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “You married your nemesis and now you’re falling for him. That’s literally a romance novel.”
“I’m not falling for him.”
“Sure you’re not.”
“I’m not. It’s just chemistry.”
“Uh-huh.” She settles back against her pillows, looking exhausted but slightly less murderous than before. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“Ellie—”
“I’m still mad at you,” she interrupts. “For not telling me. For making this decision without even asking what I wanted.”
“I know.”
“But I’m also...” She sighs. “I’m glad you told me the truth. Even if it took a hospital full of gossips to make it happen.”
“I’m sorry. I should have told you from the beginning.”
“Yeah. You should have.” She reaches out, takes my hand. “But I understand why you didn’t.”
We sit there for a while, not talking. Just existing together, the way we have since we were kids. Eventually her eyes start to droop—the medications make her tired—and I ease my hand free.
“I should let you rest.”
“Mm.” She’s already half asleep. “Nolan?”
“Yeah?”
Be careful. With the alpha.” Her voice is slurring, fading. “Don’t let him hurt you.”
“I won’t.”
But even as I say it, I’m not sure it’s true. I already know that Erik Nilsson is going to break my heart.