Chapter Two
Oaklynn
P ACKING UP THE last of my things, tears slide down my face and there’s nothing I can do to stop them from falling. This is a shitshow of epic proportions and I’m not sure I’m making the best decision. Melissa and Jace have talked me into moving to Frostford to be closer to Omen for the baby. Yes, I’m pregnant from my one night with him and he has no clue about the baby. I could’ve gotten his number from Melissa because I know she has every number for the guys of the club. Homicide doesn’t want her to ever be left vulnerable and not able to get ahold of him if he’s on a run or something. However, the news that he’s going to be a dad isn’t something you deliver over the phone or through a text message. I highly doubt he’ll believe me anyway. Omen doesn’t want a woman of his own or kids. I did get that much from overhearing a conversation between my best friend and her husband when they got back from their honeymoon. Melissa was talking about the possibility of us being together and Homicide shut her down extremely quickly.
That’s not why I’m having such a hard time with the decision to move to Frostford. My uncle just passed away and I’m leaving my aunt all alone as she mourns the loss of her husband. His passing was sudden and none of us even knew he was sick. Apparently, he had a bad heart and never went to the doctor for any kind of check-up. He was at the funeral home all alone and when I showed up for my shift and to finish going through paperwork, I found him unconscious and not breathing. Despite my best efforts at CPR, it was too late and no one could save him. So, now my aunt is all alone and has told me to do what I have to do for myself and the baby I carry. She keeps promising me that she’ll be okay and has a support system in place, but her friends can only do so much to help her grieve. It’s not the same as me being there for her since she took me in when I lost my parents. I feel as if I’m leaving her on her own when I should be there for her instead of putting myself first.
Another reason I’m leaving is because there’s no business to keep me here in Frostford. My aunt and uncle owned a funeral home and from the time I moved in with them, I worked there to help them out in any capacity. Over the last year and a half, I’d taken over all of my uncle’s duties so he barely had anything to do. All the paperwork and bookings were handled by me. When we needed to have extra things for a particular funeral, I made sure everything was set up. Essentially my uncle became the face of the funeral home while I did everything. Including sitting with each family who came through our doors to plan out the funeral for their loved one and then ensure everything happened as it should. My uncle and aunt were happy for me to take over the funeral home since they’re getting older and wanted to think about retiring and leaving me in charge of everything. Until suddenly my uncle made the decision to sell the business. It went through right before he died and we were wrapping up the last funerals we had to take care of before handing it over to the new owners.
My aunt and uncle were shocked and disappointed when I told them I was pregnant and would be a single mom. From the very second I saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I knew there was no way in hell I could terminate my pregnancy or give the baby up for adoption. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and since everyone thought I was weird because of my profession, this baby is my only chance to become a mom and have a family of my own. Of being able to love someone unconditionally and know that I’ll be loved in return. Even when my little one is pissed at me because I’m being the bad guy and punishing them for some reason. Omen doesn’t need to be in the baby’s life, but I do plan on telling him about the baby. He has the right to know he’s going to be a dad. Even if he chooses to stay away. That’s the main reason I’m moving to Frostford. If he chooses to be in the baby’s life, I need to be closer to him so everything is easier and he can spend as much time as he wants with our little one.
I can still remember the day I found out I was pregnant like it was yesterday and not seven months ago.
Waking up for the sixth day in a row having to rush to the bathroom to get sick, I know this isn’t the flu or something like that. I’m late and my period is never late. That’s the only thought racing through my mind as I throw up in the bathroom I have in my room. Thankfully I haven’t had my aunt and uncle find me getting sick every single day. It’s hard enough to hide from them that the smell of food and coffee make me nauseous.
After getting sick, I rush through my shower and get dressed before grabbing my bag, phone, and keys to head to the pharmacy. Despite me living with my aunt and uncle for the longest time, I still don’t know many people in town. I’m safe to get a pregnancy test here and it be kept a secret until I’m ready to share whatever news I have to give. Though, deep in my soul I know I’m pregnant. All the signs point to that. Not only am I getting sick every morning but my boobs are tender, I haven’t gotten my period, and I cry at the drop of a hat for no reason at all. So, I head for the pharmacy to grab a few pregnancy tests to take in the safety of my private bathroom at home.
The pharmacy was empty when I made my way inside and grabbed what I needed. Including a few snacks and drinks. Once I’ve paid for my purchase, I head back home and run into my uncle as he heads to the funeral home for the day. He’s already cut back on the hours he spends there. Rushing up the stairs to my room, I shut myself in my room and go directly to the bathroom. On the way back home, I chugged a bottle of water so I’d have to go to the bathroom. Quickly reading the directions on the test, I pee in a disposable cup and take care of business before dipping the three tests I bought. Laying out toilet paper on the counter, I place the tests down on it before getting rid of the pee and cup, I wash my hands and watch videos on my phone as I pass the time until I can look and find out my future. Though, I’m pretty sure I already know the result of the test.
When the timer goes off on my phone, I set it down on the counter, take a deep breath, and look at the three tests sitting on the counter. In seconds I see all three positive signs on them and tears spill over my lashes. This is not what I wanted to happen from my one night with Omen. He doesn’t want anything to do with me and before I left Frostford after the wedding, I overheard him calling me a patch chaser because I was at the clubhouse. He feels as if I’m looking to hookup with all the bikers in the club and trick one of them into making me their ol’ lady. That’s so far from the truth that I said nothing to him. Other than him knowing I heard him, I left the clubhouse and have done everything in my power to avoid going there since that fateful day. Even when Melissa does her best to beg me to come for a visit. I know she spends a lot of her time at the clubhouse and that means I’d have to be there too. I’m not about to see Omen when he wants nothing to do with me or force him to be in the same area I am.
Placing a hand on my stomach, I make a vow to my little one.
“It’s gonna be the two of us against the world, Peanut. I will make sure you know every single day how much I love you and that I’ll always be there for you. We don’t need a man in our lives for us to be happy,” I say softly in my empty bathroom already so in love with the baby I carry.
Melissa was the first person I told I was pregnant. She’s been nothing but supportive since I told her my news. The only downside is she constantly talks to me about letting Omen know. Yes, I know I have to, but there hasn’t been the right time and I haven’t been able to make the trip to see them with all the extra duties I had for my uncle and the funeral home. On top of taking over his responsibilities there, I’ve also been doing almost everything around the house. It’s not so easy for my aunt to move around like she used to and take care of the cleaning, cooking, and everything else that has to be taken care of in our home. Now she won’t have anyone to help her when the light bulbs need to be replaced. Or when something breaks down and has to be repaired. Yes, I’ve been making all sorts of repairs around the house for a long time. The only thing I don’t touch is the plumbing and electric.
Since learning of my pregnancy, Melissa has been trying her hardest to talk me into moving to Frostford to be closer to her and Omen. It would be easier for me to tell him about the pregnancy while also being there if he does decide he wants anything to do with our little one. No, I don't know what I’m having yet. I’ve been given the option during my ultrasound, but I chose not to find out the gender of the baby. I feel it’s something I would do if the dad was in their life but not something I want to do on my own. It can be a surprise when I go into labor. Anyway, Melissa talked Jace into helping her convince me into moving closer to them. Yes, he knows I’m pregnant and has been on board with me moving closer to them all from the second he found out. Jace wants to be an uncle to my baby like he is to the twins. He loves kids and spends as much time as possible with them. Even if Omen chooses not to have anything to do with our little one, I know they’ll have someone in their corner when I have to be the bad guy or when I’m struggling for some reason.
Jace and Melissa were calling me almost every other day in order to get me to move closer to them. When my uncle died, Jace even made the trip here to be with me when I needed someone at my side the most. Melissa wanted to make the trip, but the twins got sick and she couldn’t bring them with her. It took everything Homicide and her had in them to get the twins through the flu and then Homicide got sick so Melissa had to take care of him. Rooster and Marie have been a tremendous help to her and so Jace came on his own to be there for me. He was able to spend a week with my aunt and me. He’s one of my best friends and I’ll never be able to repay him for all the help he provided when he was here. He even went to one of my doctor’s appointments with me so I wasn’t alone as I had been for every other one.
When I managed to gather my courage to tell my aunt and uncle about the baby, they sat me down and made sure to let me know how disappointed they were in me. How it won’t be easy to be a single mom and that I should let the dad know as soon as possible so he can shoulder some of the financial responsibility. Omen will eventually know about the baby, but I’ve been too busy to make the trip and have that very hard conversation with him. Call me a bitch or say I’m being petty, I really don’t care. I’m not ready to share the news with him and that’s okay. I already know the outcome and nothing will change his mind. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the man who captured my attention from the second I first saw him is that he’s a stubborn bastard and doesn’t change his mind for any reason.
Anyway, now I’m moving to Frostford to be closer to Omen and the two other most important people in my life. Jace is coming down to get me because Melissa and him don’t want me driving that far on my own with a trailer loaded down with my belongings. And right now it’s just my belongings because I haven’t bought anything for the baby. For some reason, I can’t bring myself to buy the crib, clothing, or anything else the baby needs. I feel horrible, but I can’t bring myself to actually go out shopping. It took a lot for me to buy maternity clothing because nothing fits me any longer. I’ve had to buy tops and a few pairs of pants in order to have things to wear each day. They were mainly for when I had to be at the funeral home, but now I have nowhere to wear the clothes. For the most part, I wear leggings and shirts that are large on me and will fit over my stomach where the baby rests and continues to grow.
I can’t believe I’ve got a little less than two months until my little one is here. It seems as if I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and now in such a short time I’ll be holding my baby in my arms. My son or daughter will be here and I’ll be responsible for their life.
“How are things in here?” my aunt asks, stopping in my doorway and looking around my now empty bedroom.
“I just finished packing up the last of my stuff. Are you sure you’ll be okay here on your own?” I ask her, not getting off the floor because it’s so damn hard these days.
“I’ll be okay, Oaklynn. You can’t live your life for me. You have to live for the baby you’re carrying and yourself. I know you think we didn’t see how much you did for us over the last few years. That’s not true. We saw everything you did, and continue to do, to make our lives easier. Your uncle was grateful for you taking over everything in the business. That’s why he chose to sell it. He didn’t want to tie you down to this place when you can be so much more than who you’ve been here with us,” my aunt says, tears filling her eyes as I take in her haggard appearance.
Her gray hair is unbrushed and pushed back from her face as if she hasn’t washed it in a few days. The clothes she’s wearing are wrinkled and a mess. I know she’s worn them for days. My aunt hasn’t slept and wanders the house lost in her grief when she thinks I’m sleeping in my bed. I haven’t really been able to sleep for a while now. The baby is sitting on my bladder or something and I’m constantly waking up to go to the bathroom. That’s when I can even get comfortable enough to go to sleep. My aunt’s face is pale and I know she’s not doing as well as she wants me to believe she’s doing.
“I can stay here for a while still. I don’t have to move now,” I tell her, knowing I’ve paid the deposit and first few months’ rent on a small cabin in Frostford. I’ve managed to get everything taken care of there other than finding a job. Thankfully I have some savings to get me through. Plus the inheritances from my parents and uncle.
I’ve always known about the inheritance from my parents. Everything was left to me and to my surprise they had a trust fund for me. It’s worth a lot of money and I honestly don’t have to work another day in my life if I choose not to. Add on what my uncle left me and I really don’t have to work. He invested in a few things when I was born and all that money is now mine. For now, I’m choosing to leave it in those investments and let it continue to earn interest and grow as the companies grow. I don’t need the money right now so there’s no point in taking it from the accounts my uncle set up.
“Oaklynn, I don’t think I’m going to stay here. My sister-in-law wants me to move down with her in Florida. She’s got a cabin I can live in on my own so we have our own space and don’t get all up in one another’s business. For as long as I can remember, you have done everything for everyone around you. You never once do things for yourself. Now you do everything for the baby you carry. Your parents would be so proud of you,” she tells me and I look up with tears in my eyes at her. “Your uncle and I are proud of the woman you’ve turned into and how mature you’ve become. You grew up way sooner than you should have and that’s partly on us. We were older when you came to live with us and set in our ways. Instead of lashing out and fighting us at every turn, you chose to build a life here. You’ve gone out of your way to be there for Melissa and her kids and have been there for Jace. Live for you, Oaklynn. Build a life you’re proud of and raise that baby to know he or she has your entire heart and is the center of your universe.”
“I will, Auntie. Jace should be here soon. He’s gonna load up the trailer for me. Melissa and him have been yelling at me not to move anything heavy or lift the boxes on my own. They don’t want anything to happen to the baby despite me assuring them I’ll be okay to move things,” I tell her, wiping the tears from my face and looking at my aunt as she gives me a sad smile.
“Good, Sweetheart. We’ll stay in touch and you have the money from your family. I’ll miss you more than you know but I think we both need to get out of here and start our lives over again in a place where there aren’t constant reminders of your uncle,” she offers before turning and leaving me in my room all alone with my phone.
With nothing more to do in here, I scoot back toward my bed in order to get off the floor of my room. It takes a lot longer than yesterday to get up and when I do, I’m lightheaded. Sitting down on my mattress, I wait for the dizziness to go away while grabbing the blanket I left out of the boxes. It’s one from when I was a baby and I want it packed in the overnight bag I’ll take with me. Jace already said we’re stopping on the way back to Frostford so I’m not making the trip all at one time. He doesn’t want to push me to get back there and Rooster has approved him being gone for a few days. For now, I cover up my belly with the blanket and let myself fall back against the mattress while closing my eyes. Sleep claims me almost immediately and I dream of Omen finding out I’m pregnant while choosing not to be part of our child’s life. Not for the first time over the last seven months, I cry in my sleep so hard I soak my pillow and it wakes me up.