Chapter Eight
Oaklynn
T HREE WEEKS HAVE passed by in the blink of an eye. I’ve done everything in my power to stay away from the clubhouse so I don’t see Omen. The excuse I’ve given everyone is that I’m busy trying to get the cottage set up and moved into while also looking for a job. No, I don’t need one, but I’m not the woman who can sit at home and do nothing. I need to always be moving and keeping my hands busy. Especially now when my mind is full of such confusing thoughts when it comes to my baby’s father. While I know he wants nothing to do with me, there’s a part of me that believes he’ll be part of my life. Of our baby’s life. The way he took care of me when I was attacked and how he was staring at me during the Fourth of July party isn’t the look of someone who wants nothing to do with another person. He’s more confusing than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. And men say women are confusing and don’t know what the hell they want. That’s a lie when it comes to Kellan ‘Omen’ Jones.
The cottage is all put together and it’s perfect. I’ve got everything where I want it. Homicide and Melissa came over last week and finished helping me get all the furniture where I want. Jace had been helping me but he was busy with work and other club business. So, my best friend brought her little family over to help me. Homicide didn’t let either one of us lift a finger since we’re both pregnant. Instead, he took orders and got everything exactly where I want it. They stayed for dinner and didn’t once bring up the man who wants to be an asshole every second I’m around him. The only room sitting empty in the cottage is the nursery. It’s right across from my bedroom and I leave the door closed so I don’t have to look in it on a daily basis and look at the fact that I have absolutely nothing for my child. It’s something that weighs on my shoulders but I can’t bring myself to buy anything I need for my little one.
Jace comes over every single day to check on me and spend some time in the cottage so I’m not alone. He typically brings me lunch or dinner and we just hang out the way friends do. We don’t talk about Omen or the attack that happened because of the man. Well, other than him asking me how I’m feeling and if I’ve been having any headaches or anything since that day. Thankfully, I haven’t. My head is fine now other than itching because the hair they had to shave to put in stitches is starting to grow back. I’ve never had my head itch the way it does right now and it’s annoying as hell. In my attempt to cover the spot, I keep my hair up unless I’m in bed so no one notices the small, bald area. This time with Jace has gotten us even closer as he tells me about the antics of the guys at the clubhouse, a girl he’s interested in dating, and anything else he can think of to keep me occupied. I love my time spent with him since Melissa is always busy.
I’ve talked to my aunt every other day since I left her. She’s moving to live with her sister-in-law. I know she’ll miss the home where she lived with my uncle for their entire marriage, but the memories are too much for her to have on a daily basis. A few days ago we were on the phone and she started crying because she walked into my uncle’s office and it was exactly as he left it the morning he passed away. It smelled the same as his cologne and there were papers piled high on his desk. The second the smell of him hit her, my aunt absolutely broke down. She tried to hide it from me, but I heard every sob and wanted to be there for her. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and hold her close as she cried out her misery. That was what totally clinched the idea of moving away and trying to start her life over in a new place while still being close to others who knew the love of her life. Without holding me back and stopping me from living my own life and building something of my own.
Omen is another story altogether. I hear his bike ride slowly pass my cottage on a daily basis. I’m not sure why he goes by my house every day since he doesn’t stop and has made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with me. There has been no contact between the two of us since I moved out of the clubhouse or the Fourth of July party. Yes, I know it’s Omen riding past my small slice of heaven because I’ve seen him through the windows and the one day I was sitting out on the porch enjoying the day after searching online for a job all day long. Plus, I was waiting for Jace to get here with the pizza I’d been craving all day long. Omen rode by slowly and stared at me the entire time. It sent a chill through my entire body and I couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped me. Well, it was more like a groan because the guy drives me fucking insane. Why I thought I ever wanted to be with him in the first place is always on my mind because this is never what I thought it would be like. Even after we were together I thought things would be different.
As I sit on my couch with music playing from the TV with a cup of hot cocoa in my hands, my phone vibrates on the couch next to me. Picking it up, I’m shocked to see Omen’s name on my screen. I pause with my phone in hand for a second before opening the screen and going into my messages.
Omen: Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant before that day I saw you in the clubhouse with Grudge?
The question is out of left field even if I figured we’d have this talk sooner or later. This is something I’d rather do in person, but I know I won’t get that from Omen. And I’m not going to be the woman who forces the issue. So, I type out my response.
Me: I know you’ve never wanted an ol’ lady or kids. Yes, I would’ve told you about the baby only because you have the right to know. However, there wasn’t ever a rush because I knew you wouldn’t be there for anything. I’m sorry if that pisses you off, but I was doing the best with the situation I found myself in. Plus, I had a lot going on and wasn’t about to deal with you being pissed off at me. You know about the baby and I’m telling you for the last time that I want nothing from you. I don’t expect you to be in his or her life for any reason.
I’m not trying to be a bitch or anything, but I don’t know how else to answer him. I will never force someone to do what they don’t want to. Since Melissa found Homicide again all I’ve heard about Omen is that he’ll never settle down and doesn’t want a family of his own. He’s content to live in the clubhouse and have a bachelor lifestyle fucking a different woman every day and having the time of his life. Not to mention the fact that he told me himself it was one time in his bed and he’d give me nothing more than that. Why would I ever force a life on him he doesn’t want to participate in.
Omen: Don’t you think I had the right to make that decision for myself, Oaklynn?
Shock fills me because this is not a side of Omen I was expecting. As far as I knew, he’d already made his decision with all of his declarations about what he wants in life and what he doesn’t want. Even now he’s saying it out loud that he doesn’t want a family of his own. The night of the Fourth of July party, I overheard Omen talking to some of the guys about my pregnancy. He admitted the baby was his but that he wants nothing to do with raising a kid and having one in his life on a daily basis. Other than the twins who he visits on a regular basis.
Me: Omen, you made that decision every single time you told everyone around you that you don’t want an ol’ lady or kids of your own. It’s not my business to ask you why you feel that way. Or anything else. With your declaration on a daily basis about how you want your life, why would I expect anything else? I don’t need money, time, or anything else from you. If you choose to be in your son’s or daughter’s life, I won’t stop you. At the same time, I’m not about to force you into doing something you don’t want to do. I’m not that girl.
Omen: I don’t know what I want anymore, Oaklynn. My head is a jumbled fucking mess and there are things going on you know nothing about. What the hell am I supposed to do in this situation?
Me: Whatever you want, Omen. The decision is yours to make. I’m making it easier on you by not going to the clubhouse and living my life on my own terms. I’m trying to build a life here so the baby can be close to his or her family members. I’m alone in the world and didn’t want to be alone anymore. The only person I have left is my aunt and she’s mourning the loss of my uncle. I’m here so your parents, Melissa, and Jace can be in my child’s life. My decision to move here had nothing to do with you. Other than letting you know about the baby.
Setting my phone down, I head for the kitchen to grab some lunch. It takes me several minutes to push myself off the couch. Getting up from where I sit and out of bed is harder and harder each day that passes. Just as I finally manage to get up without falling on my face or tripping over something, there’s a knock on my front door before I hear the locks disengaging. My attention goes there because only two people have keys besides me—Melissa and Jace. Neither one of them are comfortable with me being here alone during the late stages of my pregnancy and not having a way to get in if there’s some kind of emergency.
“Bitch! Where are you?” Melissa shouts, looking around the open floor plan as her eyes land on me and I take in the large smile on her face. “Oh. I guess you’re closer than I thought. How are you feeling today?”
Melissa walks in the cottage followed by Marie. I love Marie and she calls me on a regular basis for check ins and to see if I need anything. We talk about cravings and I ask her advice on everything baby related. She’s been trying to talk me into going shopping for the baby for the last several weeks considering I have just over a month left before he or she is born. Jace has been going out every single day when he’s off of work to get me what I’ve been craving. Plus, I’ve been taking advantage of the delivery services from fast food restaurants and the local grocery store so I don’t have to leave the house every single time I decide I want something that’s not already in the house.
“What are you guys doing here? I wasn’t expecting visitors today,” I ask them, looking around my space even though I know it’s clean.
“We were sitting at the clubhouse and decided enough is enough. So, we’re taking you shopping so you can get stuff for the baby. Yes, we’ll be having a gender reveal and baby shower for you, but you need to go shopping too,” Marie answers me, her voice full of authority because she knows I’m about to argue with her.
I can’t honestly tell you why I don’t want to go shopping for the baby. It’s something I need to do, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to go. I’ve window shopped every single time I go out, but that’s as far as I let it go.
“I don’t feel like going out today,” I tell my best friend even though I know she’s not going to let me get away with that.
“Don’t care, Oaklynn. You’re getting out of the house and shopping for the baby. Let’s go,” Melissa demands as she moves over to me and grabs my cell phone and wallet from the table where I set it yesterday. “I’ve got your shit and you’re coming with us. We’ll have lunch while we’re out so you can get whatever you're craving too. Rooster is on standby for when we’re done. He’ll have Jace and a few other guys ready to come put the furniture together too. The nursery will be set up by this weekend. Oaklynn, I love you and you know this. You’ve been in a funk and we’re gonna get you the hell out of it one way or another. Today is the first step.”
Knowing I have no choice but to go with the two women, I slide on a pair of flip flops when I get over to the door and throw my hair up in a messy bun. Today I’m wearing a maxi dress that stretches over my belly while covering me from head to toe. I feel like a beached whale every single day and it feels as if my stomach gets bigger and bigger. By the time I give birth, I won’t be able to fit through any doorways if this continues.
The three of us walk out to Marie’s SUV. They help me in the passenger seat before Melissa climbs in back. We leave my driveway and Marie drives us into town where several stores line multiple blocks. There’s even one of those baby chain stores I’ve stood outside of several times since moving to Frostford. That’s where Marie goes first. Excitement fills me as we park close to the doors and Melissa chatters on a million miles an hour about nonsense.
Stepping through the door for the first time, I take everything in. There are racks and racks of baby clothes, tables filled with blankets, aisles of bottles and pacifiers, and a ton of furniture set up around the store. I’m immediately drawn to a furniture set in a soft golden wood. There’s a matching crib, rocking chair, changing table, and dresser. I gently run my hands over everything and imagine my son or daughter resting in the crib or me holding the baby as I gently rock them in the chair. Tears fill my eyes as I realize I haven’t shopped for the baby because I didn’t want to do it alone. I feel completely alone and want Omen at my side as we pick out everything for our baby. Instead, I’m with my best friend and Omen’s mom.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Do you really not want to shop?” Marie asks me, pulling me into her arms and rubbing her hand up and down my back as Melissa places her hand on my shoulder.
“I’m doing this all alone and I don’t want to. I want him here with me doing everything I always imagined the father of my baby doing. Like going to doctor’s appointments and picking out the furniture our son or daughter will use. Why did I get it so wrong?” I cry out, my voice breaking every other word as I finally put my feelings about the situation out there.
“Sweetheart, my heart is breaking for you. I want to go find my son and beat his ass for hurting you. I have a feeling he’ll come around before you know it. If you want to leave, we can,” Marie says as Melissa remains quiet giving me her silent support.
“He won’t. He was messaging me before you got to the cottage. Asked me why I didn’t tell him sooner about the baby and said he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. I haven’t responded to his last message and don’t know if he sent any after that. I don’t want to look. I’m not about to force this on him and that’s exactly what I told him. The decision is his to make and no one can make it for him. So, I’m on my own in this and it scares the fuck out of me,” I inform the women with me as I pull back and step out of Marie’s arms while trying to wipe the tears from my face.
“We’re both here for you, Oaklynn. You’ve got Jace, my husband, Rooster, and Kimber. Omen will either decide to be part of your baby’s life or he won’t. Either way, you have support and people who will be there to help you no matter what time of the day or night it is,” Melissa says as we move away from the furniture at Marie’s urging and head for the clothing section.
The three of us spend hours walking through the store. We each have a cart and fill them without hesitation. Everything piled in our carts is gender neutral since I don’t know what I’m having yet. I have taken the time to look at clothes for boys and girls and made mental notes of what I’d love to come back and get once I know what I’m having.
“So, thinking of the gender reveal and nursery, I’m not sure I want to have it at the clubhouse. I’ve been staying away so Omen doesn’t have to see me. I’m sure he wants nothing to do with a party that throws it in his face he’s going to be a dad when it’s the last thing he wants,” I state as the cashier is ringing up everything we’ve loaded in our overstuffed carts.
“Nonsense. Who do you think is paying for this shopping trip? Kellan found out we were coming to get you and handed over his card to pay for everything. I wasn’t supposed to let you know because he knows you’ll fight and throw a fit about it. I don’t care what he wants or says. My son is stubborn as fuck and he will come around. Right now he’s confused and has been stuck on never having an ol’ lady or kids for so long that he doesn’t realize the amazing life he could have with you at his side and his son or daughter in his life daily. If he doesn’t, Rooster will kick his ass and then Homicide will follow,” Marie assures me as I try to wrap my mind around Omen paying for all of this when he’s so confused about what he wants now.
I have no words as I watch Omen’s mom hand over his card to the cashier when she’s finally done ringing everything up. We grab all the bags and start loading them back in our cart. Melissa is on her phone as we walk out to the SUV and start to fill the back with our purchases. I think we have everything from bedding and clothes to receiving blankets and everything else a little one could need. Honestly, I didn’t realize there was so much a baby needs to be taken care of on a daily basis. Just one more reason I don’t want to do this alone.
We stop at the diner on our way home to get something to eat. Today, all I can think about digging into is a greasy cheeseburger with fries dipped in gravy and a chocolate milkshake. My best friend and Marie cater to me and ensure I have everything I want. They even order a ton of food for me to take to the cottage with me for the rest of the day in case I want something else. We walk out with another cheeseburger, pizza, cheesecake, fries, gravy, and a ton of other food. There’s enough to feed ten people here and I’ll be set for the next few days depending on what my mood is when I’m hungry. I’ve been spoiled today and I know this is only the beginning if these two women get their way.