Chapter Fourteen
Oaklynn
B ECOMING A MOM is one of the best, most rewarding things in my life I’ve ever done. However, it’s also the hardest thing. It’s been two weeks since I had my daughter and every day is full of tears and seeing what a miracle our daughter is. Amanda is a hungry girl and wants to eat every hour and a half or so. I try to sleep when she does as Marie and Melissa have told me, but it doesn’t work. This week alone has been so damn hard. Even though I’m not alone much throughout the day, I’m still having such a hard time. I’ve barely slept and every single time I try to take a shower to scrub the grime from my body, Amanda cries and I have to feed her once again. I’ve literally only had the time to take quick sponge baths to ensure my body is clean when she breastfeeds. I’ve been pumping my breastmilk when I can so Marie and Melissa can feed her so I can try to take a nap, but my girl doesn’t like eating from a bottle right now. So, I’m exhausted and dirty as hell. However, I wouldn’t change having my daughter for anything in this world.
My biggest fear was that Amanda was going to have complications or something wrong with her after the way she was brought into this world. Her doctors have assured me she’s perfectly healthy and won’t have any lasting effects from her traumatic birth. They monitored her when she was in the hospital a few different times and she passed all the testing they do to newborn babies. It’s just my fear coming out and every little thing I worry about. Marie has assured me it’s completely normal and that I wouldn’t be a new mom if I didn’t worry as much as I am.
Omen is here every single day. We still haven’t had the talk we desperately need to have about what’s going to happen moving forward, but we’ve both been preoccupied with Amanda and being there for her every day. I love watching Omen with our daughter. He holds her like she’s the most precious angel in the world and loves anything he gets to do with her. After two weeks, he’s already a champion when it comes to changing her diaper. Nothing phases the man. Even when she had a blowout and pooped up and down her back, he didn’t hesitate to not only change her but bathe her so she was clean. Omen picked out an outfit and dressed her while I was dealing with her soiled clothing and bedding. It all had to be thrown out and I had to change her crib. Omen has tried to get me to take a nap when he’s here with her since Amanda will actually take a bottle from him every once in a while. I just can’t seem to get myself to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I imagine the worst happening to her despite her being safe with her dad.
Rooster has been over here almost every single day. He stops over on his way to the clubhouse from the garage and spends at least an hour with his granddaughter. To watch the big MC President turn to a pile of mush for Amanda is a sight to witness. Rooster will sit on the couch and hold Amanda and not let anyone else here get near him. He tells us all it’s his ‘Papa time’ so he can bond with his granddaughter and no one will interrupt him. Rooster won’t even answer his phone and has told everyone to send all club business to Carbon since he’s the Vice President of the club. He’s a proud grandpa and has several pictures of our girl on his phone to show anyone who gets close enough to talk to him. I love watching him and his son get wrapped around the little finger of my daughter. She can’t even talk and has both men thoroughly enamored with her. I know both of them will do anything it takes to make her happy and they’ll shower her in love every single day.
Jace has also been coming over on a regular basis to see Amanda and help me out with her when no one else can be here for me. Omen and him have worked something out so he’s still working at Calhoun’s, but is still able to come over to the house on his lunch break or something. I don’t know all the details, but I’m happy to have one of my best friends here to spend time with me. There’s no way in hell I want to leave the house with my daughter for any reason. It sucks because she does have a doctor’s appointment coming up to check on her. Omen and Jace will be going with me to that appointment. For some reason no one in the club wants me to leave the house with the baby on my own. There is to be at least two guys with me if they’re members and more if it’s Prospects of the club. I don’t ask questions since I know I won’t get any answers as it is.
Today I’ve been all alone with Amanda and we’ve both had a few breakdowns. I’ve cried more tears in the last few hours than any other day since bringing her home. I want to call Omen and see if he can come over to help me, but I refuse to drag him from the important build he has going on for the fire department. He got the final approval from the fire chief about the design and the guys have all been putting in extra hours to start the build so they can tear it down to get the bike painted or chromed to put it all back together once again. I’ve listened to him talk about the build every day he’s here and it interests me because this is something Omen loves to do. He becomes completely animated when he talks about the bike they’re building and I can see who he is deep down. Omen isn’t a hard guy to understand if you pay attention to him for even a few minutes of the time you’re lucky enough to be with him.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when Amanda starts crying from the bassinet I have for her in the living room. I’ve chosen not to have the baby shower Marie, Melissa, and Kimber were going to throw me. There’s no point in having it since our girl is already here. Plus, everyone in the club already brought over a ton of gifts for our daughter and I don’t need anything more from anyone because we have way more than Amanda will ever use. Especially diapers. We got so many boxes of them that I don’t foresee having to buy any until she’s almost out of them. Yes, I’m kidding because I know diapers are used quicker than anyone anticipates.
Walking to the bassinet, I pick my girl up and hold her close to my body. Omen set up a small basket with diapers, wipes, and a few clean outfits for Amanda in the living room so I don’t have to take her back to the nursery if we’re out here. After quickly changing her diaper, I grab the nursing pillow Marie got me and get set up on the couch to feed my daughter. She quickly latches on once I have my shirt and bra moved out of her way. I run my finger down Amanda’s little cheek. She’s such a tiny baby and sometimes I’m afraid to hold her because I’m worried I’ll do something to accidentally hurt her. Her skin is so soft and I love the smell of her. I never really understood that whole newborn smell thing until she was born. Not even when I was around the twins did I understand that for some reason. Maybe because they weren’t my kids and I really didn’t have the entire motherly instinct thing going on.
After feeding and burping Amanda, I get her back to sleep so I can clean up the living room. I’ve already pulled out one of the meals from the freezer to have for dinner tonight since I never know if anyone will be here. Omen makes sure I have more than enough food because I need to eat and drink a ton of water to help ensure my milk doesn’t dry up or anything. Walking through the room and grabbing any garbage I see, not that there’s much of a mess in the house, I head for the kitchen to throw it all away. At the same time, there’s a knock on the door and I groan hoping Amanda doesn’t wake up since I’ve just gotten her back to sleep. She’s a light sleeper and the smallest noises startle her awake. I’m thinking she gets that from her daddy because he’s a light sleeper from what I’ve heard from Rooster and Marie.
Heading for the door, I unlock it and quickly open it before the person can knock again. Omen stands in my doorway with his arms loaded down with bags of stuff and a box in his arms.
“What is all this?” I question him, moving out of his way so he can come in the house.
“I got you a gift,” he answers evasively as I follow him to the couch after locking the door.
With the open floor plan of the cottage, I don’t have to miss seeing him because I can no matter where he is. Unless he’s in one of the bedrooms or bathroom. Everywhere else is open and you can see from anywhere in the cottage. I watch as he first checks on Amanda. Omen covers her up better with the blanket he bought her and runs a finger down her little cheek as she nuzzles into his touch. Amanda loves to cuddle on his chest when she’s fussy and I can’t get her to stop crying or calm down. It’s like he has a special touch and can get our daughter to go to sleep just from holding her against his chest and singing softly to her. I didn’t know he could sing, but Omen has an amazing voice.
After spending a few minutes with Amanda, Omen turns to me once again.
“Did she just go to sleep?” he asks me, moving to the box where I hear strange noises.
“Yeah. Just fed and changed her before she went back to sleep. I was just starting to clean up in here when you knocked on the door,” I inform him honestly as he finally opens the box and reaches inside.
“If I’d know, I would’ve waited so I didn’t risk wakin’ her up. I’m sorry,” he says, his voice almost a whisper as he starts to raise his hands from inside the box until I see two balls of orange and white fur.
My mouth drops open as Omen pulls out two kittens. I can’t make any noise from the shock filling me. A few days ago we were talking about the fact that I’ve always wanted to have a cat. My parents never got me one when they were alive. Then, when I was living with my aunt and uncle, I couldn’t have one because my uncle was allergic to them. I thought about it when I moved in here since I can have animals, but I was too focused on everything else going on in my life and the pregnancy. Now, I’m not sure if it’s the right time to have a kitten with a newborn baby.
“Omen, why did you get me kittens?” I ask him as he hands both of them over to me.
I take them from him and hold both kittens close to my body. One of them curls up against my body while the other one wants to explore and tries to climb my body.
“They were dropped off at a rescue in a box with about seven other kittens. A vet has checked them out and they’ve been cleared to be adopted. Both of them are about ten weeks old and are eatin’ normal kitten food. I got the brand they’ve been havin’ in the rescue so their stomachs aren’t upset by a different brand or whatever. All the shots they need up to this point have been given. One’s a boy and one's a girl. That’s all I really know about them,” he informs me, a smile on his face as he watches me try to keep the traveling kitten from falling off my body.
“Omen, I don’t know what to say,” I tell him, keeping my eyes locked on the animals in my arms.
“You don’t gotta say a word. Heard you talkin’ about wantin’ a kitten of your own and made it happen. I know it’s not necessarily the best time with Amanda bein’ so little, but I figured this way they could grow up together. You need to figure out names for them,” he says, walking over to me and taking the energetic kitten from my arms to hold against his chest.
“That little one in your arms can be called Rebel. It seems as if they’re going to be the one to give me hell,” I tell him, laughing as the kitten tries to climb his body to no avail. “And I think this one will be called Chance. What do you think?”
“Perfect, Baby Girl. I’ve got everythin’ they need and will get it all set up. Other than feedin’ them in the mornin’ and again at night, you really don’t have to do anythin’ for them. They’ve got toys in here, beds, and anythin’ else I thought they might need or like. If you sit down and close your eyes, I’ll get everythin’ set up. Dinner should be here in about an hour or so. I ordered takeout from the diner and one of the Prospects is gonna pick it up and bring it over for us. Thinkin’ of stayin’ here tonight and sleepin’ on the couch. You’ve been dealin’ with the nights alone and that’s not right. Can I stay here tonight, Baby Girl?” Omen asks me, his eyes darting around the room as if he’s nervous about my answer.
“You can stay here tonight. But, I’d rather you take the bed and I can sleep on the couch. You’re too big for it and won’t be able to truly rest. Tomorrow you’ll be too sore to do much work,” I answer him, a smile on my face as I think about him sleeping on the small couch and hardly being able to move tomorrow from it.
“Not happenin’, Baby Girl. The whole reason for me sleepin’ out here and not on the floor in the nursery is because it puts me between the door and my girls. If anyone tries to get in this cottage, they’ll have to get through me first. Not gonna put you at risk because I won’t be comfortable on the couch. I’ve slept on the floor when we’re on runs and can sleep almost anywhere. All I need is a pillow and blanket and I’ll be good to go,” he says, dragging the blanket off the back of the couch that wouldn’t cover half of his body as he motions for me to take a seat.
Omen covers me up and makes sure I have my cup filled with water and at least a snack by me before he moves around the room setting up all the stuff he bought the kittens. The little ball of fluff who hasn’t wanted to explore the house yet is still curled up in my arms with its eyes closed. I run my hand down its body repeatedly, taking comfort in the feeling of this little kitten feeling safe enough with me to fall asleep on my body. I can’t believe Omen got me two kittens just because I mentioned I wanted one and have never had the opportunity before now.
The rest of the afternoon and night is spent with Omen doing everything while not letting me lift a finger for any reason. I eat the burger and fries from the diner as if I haven’t eaten more than a snack in days. He cleans up the cottage, takes care of Amanda, and tries to get me to sleep while he’s here with her. No matter what I do, I can’t get to sleep. Even though I’m exhausted, my body is simply refusing to allow me the necessary sleep I’m desperate for. Omen even tries to hold me close to him and it does nothing but make me want this every single day for the rest of my life. Omen sure as hell knows how to bring out every feeling I’ve tried to bury deep in my soul to the surface. Sometimes I really don’t like him!